AFriendlyFace

Then it's curious that he doesn't want to experience the sex that goes along with it unless he's drunk.

It'll get better, dude

No perky! *gasp* I admit it takes me a half hour or so to work up to perky in the morning, but I always get there by the end of breakfast

Happy Birthday, Mattie! I hope you have an awesome day and a terrific year -Kevin

I would certainly agree with that. Not just with the example you pointed out, but in general I think GLBT people who have trouble coping are often the worst homophobes and also the ones that make us look the worst by (perceived) association.

I once had to point out to someone that Richard Simmons was gay

Oh No!! Funny you should comment on this! When I was reading it I was thinking "Wow! This was such an ambitious scheme!"

Well I think this is just a general reference to his desire to kill the Instinct gang (Brandon, Chase, Eric, Jon, Helen, Gunter, and possibly Barbra if it's convenient). This may or may not include an intention to off the Shadows as well (Zeke, Steve, and Wilde). I didn't really take it as a very significant conversation because although it was one of the first, so many other references have been made to offing the band. My only big curiosity is whether or not this includes The Shadows. Although it would be interesting if, as some have suggested, this were instead about Joe Clump, and perhaps he's already met with the accident they had in mind *shrug*. In any case I'm still certain that The Scar intends to kill at least the Instinct gang and the 6 (or 7 if Barbra is included) people closely associated with it. My guess though would be that he intends to bring down a plane that they're all on. Just my thoughts, Kevin

Well if it counts for anything, I found it much easier and more enjoyable than chemistry. I'd always rather take a humanities or social science course over a science course though.

I hope things are much better for you now, Gary As for me, I have a weird sort of approach to sleep. I'm very committed to making sure I average at least 7-9 hours a night, unfortunately average seems to be the key word. Some nights I get considerably less and some nights considerably more. Overall I try to make it work though, and most of the time I'm able to get at least 6 or 7, then I'll sleep in one day or go to bed very early and get a good 10-14. My problem is that I pretty much never feel like going to sleep and I pretty much never feel like getting up. There's almost never a night when staying up all night doesn't seem appealing, and even by morning I probably won't be tired. In a weird sort of way I don't "get tired". At least not in the "falling asleep", "I have to go to bed right now sense". So going to sleep is always something I have to make myself do. The other problem is that I never want to wake up. Not in a depressed, suicidal way, I just almost never wake up feeling like getting out of bed. I'm almost always much much more tired than when I went to sleep. I almost always get in bed feeling perky and wake up feeling exhausted. Oddly, about the only exception to waking up and feeling like getting out of bed is if I'd been drinking considerably the night before. For some reason it's always much easier for me to get up the next day. And it's not because I feel sick, I don't get hang overs. I think it's just a matter of the alcohol preventing me from sleeping deeply in the first place. Can mine be a hot swim guy instead? Well I'd certainly love to read a good lesbian story! Awww Please don't do that! Research indicates that when it comes down to a choice between sleeping or studying, sleeping is almost always going to be better for your grade than studying! I know I for example always got much more sleep around finals and midterms and it worked out well for me Take care all and have a peaceful night! -Kevin

I won't touch soft drinks! WAYYYY back in the day when I used to drink them I liked Dr. Pepper the best, but it's been several years since I've had or even wanted one.

That was amusing! I have to agree with Simon though, the arrangement was terrible. His vocals were decent though.

Oh dude, I'm so sorry I just didn't care for that movie. I suppose it was a good cautionary tale about the dangers of the closet, but apart from that it didn't resonate very much with me.

LOL, I confess in some regards it's mostly a matter of being lazy. I probably could have figured out a great deal of it on my own, but I expect it to just "snap", and I rather someone keep explaining it to me until it does I also have what I suppose is the sort of bad attitude that school work should interfere as little as possible with outside activities, so I worked very hard to make sure I understood something while I was there because I knew I probably wouldn't give it another thought once I left

Interesting discussion! Hmmm, yes and no That wouldn't be a big issue for me as long as they were supportive/accepting of my beliefs (which are of a non-fundamentalist Christian flavour, but with an over-arching belief that all religions are equal). This is actually slightly preferable to me than dating an atheist/agnostic (which as I said wasn't a no deal situation anyway). I would be most uncomfortable with someone who was openly anti-religious, or someone who was very religious without an over-arching acceptance of other religions and I'd feel this way even if they were my "religion". Basically it's just the lack of acceptance and patience for religions/other religions that I find off-putting. I can't stand it when people go around thinking their way is the only right way. There is no "right way" and this includes atheism as far as I'm concerned. Tolerance, Tolerance, Tolerance!!! I go to church, and church functions on a weekly basis so in many ways I suppose I might seem like the sort that would have a problem dating a non-Christian or an atheist/agnostic, but quite the contrary I wouldn't. The church I go to actively encourages questioning and closely examining your faith, and we're currently in the middle of a program whereby we have guest lectures from other, very different religions come in and explain their faiths, and we go to their services/worships etc. I think religion is important in general, but I don't think the particular religion is all that important. I think in the end it all boils down to the same thing and it all comes down to how well you followed the code set up for your own life (assuming that code was meritorious in the first place). We recently had a female Jewish rabbi come in, it turns out her husband is a "Jewish Atheist". So a rabbi and an atheist are making it work because they're respectful of their differences. I don't see why anyone else can't make it work as well. Agreed. I would be uncomfortable dating someone who'd never thought out their religious beliefs or just blindly followed something. These are actually the people that are typically less religiously tolerant as well. Amen to that! That sort of would be an exception to what I said above. I wouldn't be with someone who thought our relationship - any part of it - was a "sin" or anyway "wrong". Their religion would either need to be accepting of it, or they would actively need to not believe and be bothered by that particular belief. Even believing it, but not caring, would put me off. Well, I'll only speak of my faith, but my church is supportive of it so you never really know. Indeed a very significant proportion of our congregation is gay. Take care all and have a great day Kevin

Sorry to hear that, Tarin! I hope the Express thing works out!! Chemistry was actually my most difficult subject too. I actually finished up with an "A" in it, and I really didn't do that much work for it outside the classroom, but boy did I work my butt off in the classroom to get it! Never being one to be silent when I need assistance or have questions, it got to the point that one day in class after my teacher had finished explaining a new concept and was still facing the board, she said, "Yes, Kevin?" as she slowly turned around to discover that I did indeed have a question Well that sounds delightful!

Well there's certainly no pressure If you want to live a non-sexual life on your own I can certainly respect that and further under the right circumstances I can see how that would be very enjoyable.

As I said, I agree. I understand the sentiment of course, but really I still think the potential for complications and difficulties is much higher with a close friend. I personally think you'd be more likely to gain a stalker from the friend situation, and worse the stalker would have a lot of useful info about you! Of course it all comes down to knowing your friends properly and having the right sort of dynamic to make it work. If people are able to make these things work then more power to them, but I do not think it would be something I would be comfortable with. I think another big thing to take into consideration would come down to the issue of trust that a future significant other would have. For example I've never "backed off" emotionally from my friends as the result of a romantic relationship, nor do I intend to (at least not purposely, though I suppose it could happen accidentally). I have a close relationship with my friends. I can see how this could be intimidating to a boyfriend, but I expect him to trust me, and part of that trust - for me anyway - would come from being able to say, "There's never been anything sexual or romantic between us". Just my thoughts though, Kevin

I quite agree with this post. Thank goodness you added the second paragraph, Jason! LOL You (and anyone else interested ) should check out another poll I had longer ago: Bisexuality: Thoughts and opinions You're welcome, Old Bob! I'm glad you enjoyed them, and as always am delighted to gain insight into your perspective on these matters LOL, well I'm a Virgo, so I've got the perpetual virginity thing going for me Actually, I take this to mean more that I have the capacity to approach relationships with a fresh, unjaded outlook despite past experiences. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

Welcome to the forum, Procyon! Benji is right, you will need 5 posts to vote I'm afraid. On the bright side you've already got 4! If you go to the "New Members" thread pinned in the Lounge and introduce yourself that could be 2. The other 3 wouldn't be hard to rack up with a few observations in some of the other threads I didn't. I explicitly said that I wasn't talking about friendships that turn into romance.

Hi everyone, So since there's so many threads floating around here in which people are discussing purely physical relationships with their close friends I decided to create a poll to see what everyone thought of this. I've always thought this was a pretty terrible idea and several years ago I coined the term "friendcest" to describe it. Just to clarify, what I'm talking about here isn't falling in love with a good friend and entering a relationship with them. Nor is it a traditional "F*** buddy" set up with a more casual friend or someone with whom sex is the primary - or at least a major - aspect of the relationship. This is casual sex which may or may not occur multiple times with someone who was already a significantly close friend without romantic intentions. To me it's a very bad idea because, in my opinion, close friendships are important and sex and romance inevitably, and usually indelibly, change them. For a serious relationship with someone you love and are in love with I think it's very often worth the risk, but for a meaningless hook-up I think it's a pretty bad idea. Thus I chose "No way!" Anyway, I have several close friends whose friendship means a great deal to me and I would be very disappointed in myself if any of those relationships got sexual just for sex's sake. I have quite a few other acquaintances with whom I suppose it's an unlikely possibility that I would consider an F.B. arrangement. Those arrangements aren't really my thing, but at least with these people they're only "friends" in the most basic you're-an-acquaintance-that-I-positively-regard sense, so I wouldn't consider them off-limits. So what are you guys' thoughts on this? -Kevin

Very wise, and besides you'd might as well enjoy the holiday you've earned without this being a concern that would interfere Good luck!

Hi everyone, This is sorta like the 2nd half of the At what age did you figure out your sexuality? poll. This one is more about how not being completely gay or straight affects people's lives. For example, as I said in the other poll, I never really struggled with my sexuality at all. I never preferred being one thing over another, and indeed I thought it was pretty cool all along to know that I wasn't just another straight guy, but it was definitely complicated by the fact that I'm still pretty sure I'm NOT 100% gay. I do not consider myself bisexual any longer because I don't think that's the best or most descriptive label for me, and I'm certainly more gay than bi (although again I don't think "bisexual leaning male is quite appropriate either). So I'm perfectly content to live my life as a gay person with a little asterisk and a footnote that says "not completely" or "open to anything". I do like this about myself, and I'm very content with it. However, I'm also quite sure that it made things much more complicated, and probably still does to a very small extent (such as when I need to clarify it like now ). I have no doubt that if I'd been completely gay as many of my friends claim to be I would have been more sure sooner, and probably would have begun my "gay life" earlier. Which has just been delightful and while I enjoyed my teenage years very much I think it might have been cooler to have spent more time with people of an alternate sexuality back then. Anyway, I'm still the sort of person who doesn't particularly care for labels and worse the expectations that come along with them. I've decided that the "gay" label is the most suitable, and it's certainly the most convenient. However, I don't really like the fact that even though I definitely intend to continue to date guys and be very active and socialize in the gay community that if I ever did briefly date a girl (and to be honest while that sounds appealing, a long-term relationship with her sounds unappealing...thus I unless I find a girl that would be comfortable with such a thing AND one whom I was interested in it's unlikely I'll ever do anything about this) it would be "scandalous" and worse might damage my reputation as being "gay". Which sounds silly but I am very active in the gay community and it is an important part of my life, so I would be saddened by the inevitable back talk and finger-wagging. So to sum things up, I picked, "Yes, because people mistrust them" (this bias really ticks me off too ) and "Yes, because they tend to take longer to figure out their sexuality at all". Right now I really don't care that "gay" doesn't suit me in the absolute strictest sense that some people would use it or that "bisexual" doesn't suit me in the way that I would use it. As time's gone by I've come to realize that, for me, everything (not just sexuality) is pretty relative and subjective. I don't have any trouble figuring out what I want, and I would never let social acceptance have an impact on who I date (I admit that for some people who are on the cusp this might be a semi-appropriate consideration, but being someone who doesn't care about that is a much more fundamental part of my personality so that would never suit me). Still, when I was younger and slightly more inclined to see things in black and white it made things more complicated. What are your perceptions and experiences, both as a "gay" or "straight" person OR as someone "in the middle somewhere"? Have a great day everyone! Kevin

Hi everyone, Pretty straightforward question really, at what age did you figure out your sexuality? I most people are generally slightly aware of it all along - perhaps aware that something is different about them - but when did you actually know? For me, well it wasn't really on the radar at all until I was at least 11 or 12, then it was just sorta a vague thing I suppose until about 8th grade. By then, and pretty much through high school, I was under the impression that I was bisexual. I really didn't work it out for sure until after high school (which I suppose woulda made me around 18-20). I never really struggled with it at all. I never preferred being one thing over another, and indeed I thought it was pretty cool all along to know that I wasn't just another straight guy, but it was definitely complicated by the fact that I'm still pretty sure I'm NOT 100% gay. I do not consider myself bisexual any longer because I don't think that's the best or most descriptive label for me, and I'm certainly more gay than bi (although again I don't think "bisexual leaning male is quite appropriate either). So I'm perfectly content to live my life as a gay person with a little asterisk and a footnote that says "not completely" or "open to anything". So how old were you? Do you wish you'd figured it out sooner? Take care all and have a fantastic day! -Kevin P.S. I apologize to the straight people for this rather biased question. Any insight or comments you have would be great

Awww, thanks Rose! You too for that matter! If you've been off it for awhile that could be part of it (not that I'm encouraging you to get back on). For example it affects me much more strongly and quickly now when I do drink it than when I used to do it regularly.