AFriendlyFace

Hey Richie, I'm sorry you're going through all this I know about friends moving and it definitely blows! When my two very close friends moved away last May I spent days before, on the day of, and after breaking into tears randomly. And now I'm faced with another very close friend moving away in 2-3 months It definitely sucks, but I think what it comes down to is whether or not they're happy and whether or not it's the best thing for them to do. You said he feels like he needs to go. Is this a general desire to see the world? Is he getting a new job or going to a new school? If those are the sort of things, then yeah it definitely sucks but it really might be something wonderful for him. If it's something cruddier like having to move to take care of family or something like that, then it's definitely not going to be as "good" for him, but it's probably just as important, or maybe more so. In any case, chances are he's got a good reason. I've also been on the moving away side a couple of times. It's tough and it completely screws with your way of thinking. You might not bother to get to know people better because you think you'll be gone soon, you might sorta keep thinking of all the things you'll miss like someone's birthday, or in my case I had a pregnant friend and I knew I'd never get to see the baby , and in general everything just takes on a different perspective. Sometimes there is a temptation to distance yourself. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't care about the people. In fact it might mean that you care about them so much you don't think you can get through it. I guess what I'm saying is I know how hard it is for you, and I know how hard it is for him. (or at least I can sorta guess on both accounts) All I can say is that you've got the right idea. You should cherish the time you've got left together. Try not to spend it fighting, or avoiding each other, or focusing on anything but the good times you've had together. Also, you're probably thinking there's no way you'll stay in touch, or that it just won't be the same or whatever. Well it won't be exactly the same, but that doesn't mean it can't still be really good. I have a much better and emotionally closer relationship with one of the friends I left behind two years ago. With another we have a surprisingly similar relationship to that which we've always had. As for my two friends that moved away, I stayed in touch with them two, and it actually looks like they might end up moving back. Point is if you want to stay close you will...regardless of distance. I hope you feel better and I hope you get a chance to enjoy the time you have left together in the same city. And when he does leave...well eat a pint of ice cream and watch Will and Grace -Kevin

You were right! He is planning to move in with the boyfriend. The trouble is the guy lives in Kentucky! He's a flight attendant so he comes to Houston a lot, and they often spend the weekend and stuff together, but apparently they've decided it's time to do the moving in thing, and they've mutually agreed that William should move there. Yep, Scott's pretty upset about the whole thing, plus he's out a roommate! AND to top it all off something else kinda cruddy just happened to him. So I'm seriously feeling for Scott As for William...well I'm pretty conflicted. I'm going to miss him like crazy of course! And I'm just kinda in shock about the whole thing. But I'm also pretty happy for him. I mean he's really happy and excited, and it sounds like he's just ready to leave Texas in general. So even though I think he might be rushing things and moving more quickly than I would advise, I think in general if he just wants to get out there and try something new he might be doing what's right for him. I mean I up and moved to a new state and I didn't have a boyfriend - however new - waiting for me. I'm just really torn. I mean he is a very independent person, and I think he'll be fine. I mean he'll definitely meet people and make a lot of new friends, and I could see him being fine even if they did break up. Plus he'd have the option of coming back. I mean I know we'd welcome him back and do what we could to help him get back on his feet. So all in all I think for him it might be a good decision. He's doing something he wants to do, it has the potential to turn out really great, and even if it doesn't I think he'll be okay. ...now I just need to explain all that to Scott.

Oh my gosh! This is shocking! I certainly hope there are activist groups lobbying for the addition of some appropriate child abuse laws! I'm sure having these laws fall under a different section would also be good for the cause of getting the homosexual sex thing struck down. Otherwise for once people can (justifiably) argue that it would pave the way for child molestation if the laws were removed. Does this mean then that the maximum sentence for cases involving child molestation is also only 10 years? Wow! Sounds like quite an undertaking! I'm proud of you Beasty! I'd love to thumb through it sometime, although to be honest I'm unlikely to just sit down and read the whole thing in a sitting. It's definitely something worth knowing about though! -Kevin

In that case perhaps "Jerry" has already died?

Wow! That's both shocking and disturbing! I read a similar article about water recently that focused on bottled water, basically saying that the chemicals the water absorbs from the plastic might be extremely toxic. Then it went on to point out how these toxins in the plastics that we use for all sorts of things get into our bodies. It turned out that some ridiculously high portion of people, even young people in remote areas, all tested positive for the various toxic chemicals in their bodies. I would be interested to find out if actual people could be tested and found to have trace amounts of these drugs in their bodies. I'm assuming they probably can't be since in smaller doses they would probably be metabolized by the body too quickly or simply be undetectable. In any case it certainly gives us something new to think (and worry) about. Thanks for the info, Nick -Kevin

Hmm, I find it a bit odd that they would use this law as a way of prosecuting the miscreant instead of just having standard child molestation, rape, and murder laws. I'm assuming they do have these laws and just sort of "supplement" them with this law as a way of getting an even more serious sentence? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make that implication at all. I just thought maybe the penalties - while legal and following the system - might be stronger. Well that's pretty crummy Thanks

If you don't mind me further prying - and I suppose I ought to just do research on my own - but just how often are these things actually prosecuted and what are the penalties? I'm assuming it's not like in parts of the Middle East where they might execute a gay person if they "caught" them? Would you actually go to prison? Or have to pay a hefty fine? Or would it most likely just be ignored or dropped? What about the gay prince? Can he actually get into any kind of trouble? Or is he sorta out of danger since he's a prince? Sorry to bombard you with questions, Beasty -Kevin

Is there like a page of tips or something available? I mean I know the basics like using quotes and plus signs and what not, but I still generally suck at producing an effective search! They're either WAY too broad and I have to do too much wading, or I come back with a screen with like 4 things (that I wasn't looking for) and the suggestion that I should broaden my search. LOL, okay I'm seriously very curious about this story now!! LOL anyone else know what it might be?

I'm kinda weird with regards to tap water. First off I'm a major water drinker. I literally drink about two gallons a day on any given day. I usually buy about 18 gallon jugs of water when I go to the store, then also pick up a couple of 24pack cases of bottled water. I never drink tap water at home. Most of the time I make sure to carry 2 or 3 bottles with me whenever I leave the house, and I try to leave a couple in my vehicle for "emergencies". Plus most of my friends have bottled water on hand too, or else do some sort of water processing. If I expect to be somewhere for an extend period of time where I'm not sure of the water condition I'll take quite a few extra bottles. That said, when it comes to restaurants, bars, and clubs I always just ask for "a glass of water". Now I know that this "glass of water" has basically come from the tap, but I somehow trick myself into thinking that since it usually comes from some sort of drink fountain, or drink sprayer set up, it's "special". So no I don't drink "tap water", but I guess I sorta do, but sshhh don't tell me

Wow! This really puts things into perspective! Here we are in the states fighting to get equal rights with regard to marriage, and you guys are stuck just fighting to be able to legally have a relationship Asked for what? Asked to be gay or asked to be treated badly for it? I always get a bit defensive when people - especially gay people of course - say something to the effect "I didn't ask to be this way". Makes it sound like it's some sort of a curse. It's a blessing as far as I'm concerned, and if something freaky ever happens and I turn straight I'll ask to be gay again -Kevin

LOL, I'm so envious, Tiff! You live in New York, and you're going to LA and Vegas....those are like the three places in the US I wanna spend time in the most!

Thos sound like fun activities! LOL! That's what I like to hear! It sounds like you'll have a really awesome time!

I just kinda randomly watched a few of these, but I hope to catch the rest too! LOL, a fun, silly little video! Awww That was really sweet! And a delightfully happy video! If you're comfortable with me asking, which one is you and your husband? Like what time or whatever? I guess that was cool. I like this song, but I've never been a big fan of watching the singer/band perform it in the video. I prefer to see some kind of acting it out or something instead. I've seen that before, it is amusing! Ohhhh, that was...nice I love that song too!

Very informative and moving, thanks It does seem like the climate in India and much of the rest of the world is poised for change.

Unfortunately all the activities that occurred to me would necessitate being older than 17 I bet Benji could make some useful suggestions though

That's fascinating! I'm surprised I had never heard of this before. Thank you, Old Bob

So, to your knowledge, you were never "picked out" by someone when you were in straight settings? WOW! That's fascinating! I wonder what other groups that extends too. I'm a vegetarian in beef country. I wonder if other vegetarians can peg me?

I'm looking forward to watching Sweeney Todd when it finally comes out! I missed it in theaters and have been kicking myself ever since! I'm also eager to see Mad Money (I think that's the name of it), but I missed that one too, so again am stuck waiting for the DVD.

Mine too. There's no doubt about it. Being out is the absolute best thing you can do for your gaydar. It just gives you so much more direct experience with gay people, you just sorta learn what to look for. Plus, being out to yourself is essential if you're going to look at a guy and try to figure it out. If you're not comfortable with homosexuality in general you be willing to check out the subtle cases.

You didn't know that? You should put it on your birthday wishlist this year

Well that is good news! Practice makes perfect

Well I've certainly often had that problem. I'm a bit like that with mice (mouses?) too. My personal mouse is about twice as sensitive as the one I was using at my last job. Drove me crazy how sluggish the work one would seem at first. Then I'd get home and this guy would be zipping all over the screen like a maniac :wacko:

Not to mention becoming a first class busybody! J/k!!

...and I really shouldn't be trying to figure it out, but it's driving me crazy now! So, if anyone happened to be following the "weird night" thread in the Lounge, they'll know that I purposely stayed up all night so that I could get some of that quiet alone time. Anyway around 8am I went to sleep. Well about 11:45 William called. He and a couple of other guys we're friends with had had plans this morning to go to this event. I was originally going to go with them, but it feel through. Well actually it feel through because I was originally NOT going to go with them, then I realized I could and we made plans...then it turned out that I'd missed various deadlines and what not. Anyway, no big deal because I got my long, quiet night and I got to sleep in. So about 11:45 they're done and William calls to let me know how it went and to further let me know that they'd all decided to go out tonight. Big surprise there! LOL, I go out with some combination of these three almost every Saturday night The cool thing though is that we're going to a bar I haven't been to yet! So that'll be nifty. So naturally I accept, chat awhile, then go back to sleep. Well a couple of hours later, 1:45ish, I get a call from Scott. According to William (who if you've been paying attention you'll know is Scott's roommate), Scott is coming with us tonight. The problem is according to Scott, Scott isn't coming with us tonight. Well, no big news there either. Just as we go out almost every Saturday, Scott almost always says he isn't going and William always insists that he is. About half the time William prevails and Scott comes and about half the time Scott prevails and he stays home. My job is just is say things like, "well, it'll be more fun if you come and I really hope you do, but I understand if you don't feel like it" to Scott, and to say things like, "yeah, I wish he'd come, but no sense in forcing him, you know how he likes a quiet evening in" to William. Then I just sorta let them battle it out themselves, and only really get involved if it seems especially important to one or the other of them. So, so far events are unfolding according to their usual rhythm, albeit several hours earlier than they normally do - when Scott throws a new card! It turns out that the reason he doesn't want to go out tonight, is because William's told him something that's upset him. So we then proceed to have a very confusing conversation in which Scott basically tells me that William intends to tell me whatever it is as well, and that he himself can't tell me because he's promised not to tell anyone, but that it's made him conclude that William's lost it. I was able to gather that it's something to do with William's new boyfriend - whom Scott doesn't approve of - and that Scott thinks they're moving too quickly. Obviously then it some sort of 'relationship announcement', which under normal circumstances is probably supposed to be viewed as good news. I suppose there are several things it could be, probably mostly involving moving/moving in together, an engagement or similar pledge of serious commitment, or really any moderately "big step" I suppose. Now personally I like the guy well enough. My attitude is basically, "if you make William happy you have my blessing". Scott on the other hand doesn't like the guy and feels that he's going to hurt William. As such he's avoiding being with both of them together, or being with William when he'd have to talk about him. Now of course I have the "you better not hurt my friend" feelings too, but I trust William to make his own decisions, and I also trust his strength and resilience. If he gets hurt we'll be there for him and he'll get through it, and in the meantime if he's happy and it has a chance of being really good for him I'm all for it. The biggest problem is that while William doesn't seem to have worked out that it's related to his new boyfriend he's noticed Scott being more distant lately and is bothered by it. So actually I wish Scott would just suck it up and come with us tonight and try to have a good time so that William won't worry. Unfortunately I know Scott...he wouldn't have a good time tonight and I think it would be fairly apparent, so it's probably best if he doesn't come. And now, about 10 minutes ago while I was typing this actually, Luke's just called. He hasn't met the new boyfriend yet, but he was trying to subtly get information from me and find out my opinion. Now perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but it seems fishy that an hour after I get off the phone with Scott, Luke calls me up and tries to casually discuss the same thing. I'm reasonably sure when he hung up with me Scott called Luke to vent further. Which is fine of course, Scott should do whatever he can to feel better, but I feel like it's getting even more complicated! Meanwhile I'm going out of my head trying to figure out exactly what William intends to tell me tonight. I've even been practicing my I'm-so-surprised-and-delighted! reactions. Well, at least I feel better having gotten all that out lol.