AFriendlyFace

Hi Andy Well I'm very very sorry he was cheating on you and being dishonest about his sexuality. Neither of those two things are at all acceptable in my opinion. To me though that doesn't directly involve bisexuality. Anyone can cheat and lie. Would it have been worse if you had found out he had another boyfriend he was secretly seeing? This topic is actually very similar to a few threads I created a some months back: If your S.O Cheated... Bisexuality: Thoughts and Opinions And Do people who aren't 100% gay or straight have it tougher. Personally, I'm very much opposed to people using bisexuality as an excuse to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend simultaneously. Well, actually I personally don't care at all as long as all three people involved are aware of the situation and okay with it, but again I would be fine with that for straight or gay people as well. It's the cheating and dishonesty that's a problem, not the bisexuality as far as I'm concerned. You had no idea that he was doing that, and presumably you had the explicit or implicit understanding that your relationship would be completely monogamous. As such his behaviour was in no way acceptable and his bisexuality is certainly no excuse. I think you made the right decision to end it with him. If I did ever have a girlfriend, or a girl I 'experimented with', it would not be while I had a boyfriend and I would also be upfront with her that I was predominately gay and more than likely not looking for a permanent relationship with a female. I would be open to a permanent relationship with her if it happened, but I would certainly not then mess around with other guys (or girls). Well, personally as I said I would have felt exactly the same way if I found out he was messing around with another guy. The genders and sexualities involved would be irrelevant to me, it would be the betrayal and cheating that would be the main point. I don't see anything objectionable with a straight guy making out with another guy if he's curious, not dating another person (male or female), and the guy he's making out with is similarly available and interested in the activity. I would also be fine with a gay person experimenting with a girl (again as long as they're both cool with what's going on and not seeing anyone), and with people of either gender or any sexuality having a threesome composed of any set of genders and orientations again as long as they're all willing participants and not violating the terms of any relationships. I wouldn't be out having threesomes and experimenting if I had a boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter), and there's a good chance I won't do those things anyway, but if I am single (and I am) then I think it's my business. Personally, I'm inclined to think that the person who has examined (and perhaps experimented in) these things often knows themselves better than the person who instead shoves themselves in a little box and refuses to peek outside the lid. I'm a firm believer in never taking things for granted when it comes to gender, social roles, and sex/sexuality. The more information you have and the more you've examined your options the better off you are in most cases. Finding the occasional girl attractive does not threaten my sexuality as a gay male, it doesn't change my likes and dislike nor my interests nor my personality. The older I've gotten and the more things I've contemplated, seen, and experienced first-hand, the more I've come to the inescapable conclusion that gender and sexuality are largely irrelevant. I refuse to live a certain way because I'm a boy or because I'm a gay boy. I'm immensely satisfied as both a male and a homosexual, both lifestyles and the majority of things that go along with them are very suitable to me. I sure as hell have no desire to be a woman or to be straight, but I shall always do exactly as I please and freely blur the lines between gender and orientation as I see fit. -Kevin

Just wanted to take a moment to wish Dhruv a very happy and special 21st birthday! Happy Birthday, dude!! I hope it's a really awesome one! -Kevin

LOL, if you did feel like being mean you could always get up, shove the girl out of the way, blurt out, "Let me show you how this is done!", and give the guy a proper kissing session I'm more of this opinion. Well of course as I said I'm fine with it happening regardless, but I think it's really cute when older couples are affectionate. On the other hand about a year ago I saw this cute, young gay couple holding hands and leaning on each other and I found that incredibly adorable and sweet. Mostly just because at their young age they'd already figured out what they wanted and found the courage to behave like their heterosexual counterparts. It was sweet, inspirational, brave, and innocent all at the same time.

LOL, well just be safe dude I'm not Australian, but I'd be remiss in not mentioning one of the best red wines in the world (at least in my opinion), the Australian Shiraz!

Ever since I was a kid I've had a very strong and enduring preference for the number the 4. It's just one of my weird quirks. As such 4,444 is actually much more meaningful and a great deal 'luckier' than simply 4,000 or 5,000. So I thought it'd be nice for me to commemorate the event. This is my 4,444th post Thanks to all with whom I've engaged in stimulating and enjoyable discourse with over the years, and I'm honoured to have interacted with you all All the best, Kevin

Amen to that!

Well marriage as an institution may very well warrant your disdain. I never really meant marriage in the absolute, most literal sense. I can envision someone simply saying, "I want to spend to the rest of my life with you" and the two people making a permanent commitment as a result of that, no 'marriage' needed. I more or less just used the traditional terms because they're the easiest to understand and relate to. I would be fine proposing to a guy who responded that he didn't want to get 'married', but agreed that we should have some sort of permanent commitment and expectations of each other. I think that could be just as awesome, romantic, and meaningful. Similarly, if I were being 'proposed' to, I'd be just as happy if it more or less translated into a request to be life partners, who are completely monogamous and in it for the long-haul. Well of course if that's how you feel than the 'institution of marriage' is irrelevant anyway. Actually I rather doubt I'll find someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with either. I'm pretty picky, I don't need marriage (or a permanent relationship), and I'm all around unlikely to compromise. I also know I'm not the easiest person in the world to live with. So pragmatically I think there's a very good chance I won't find a 'husband' or permanent partner either, but I do remain open to the possibility, and if it happened on the terms I want, or if I were sufficiently in love that I was willing to alter those terms, then I can imagine it being quite nice. I agree that such a discussion would hold the possibility for an intensity of emotions and intimacy that would be extremely nice. I suppose I would also expect this conversation to take place anyway, after the 'proposal'. But I've probably just bought into the fairytale/romantic movie concept. I actually often have the opposite reaction. I'm grateful for my freedom and independence and the perception that I still lead a more youthful, carefree life. The only exception to that would be with children, intellectually I know that I'm still not ready for kids, but emotionally I really really want them NOW. Take care all and have a great day Kevin

There's nothing worse for job satisfaction than feeling like you're too good for your job. I say this as someone who has felt that way and left as a result. With my current job I know that I could do better and find a higher paying job if I were willing to do more work and put in more time, but I also know that I'm overpaid for the actual work and time that I put in for this job. I think that's one of the biggest contributers to my being satisfied and happy with it.

LOL, that's something else I hate! When they say, "oh we'll be there sometime between 2:00 and 5:00"...well which is it?!? Am I just supposed to give up my day and wait around all afternoon? Even if they get there on the early end of it, there's a good chance I've cancelled or avoided making plans because I thought I had to keep 4pm open for them. hehe, on the other hand lately I've been doing the same thing to a lesser extent, "Oh, I'll meet you between 3:30 and 4:00 then". So much easier than trying to pin myself down to 3:30 or 4:00!

It certainly is, personally since the time I first posted this I've become convinced that for the most part texting is far more efficient and generally preferable to me, but there are quite a few times when I read a text and imagine 2 or 3 completely different tone of voice and inflections that the person might have been 'thinking' when they said that, and wondering just what they did mean. For transmitting pure information or making quick plans I think texting is easier though. The majority of things I text people I'd feel silly calling them up to tell them, and quite often I've been in settings in which I can text, and actively want to, but wouldn't be able to carry on a voice conversation. I also find that I have a slightly easier time staying in touch with my texting my friends as opposed to the ones who don't text. Often I have only a few minutes (or as I said above can text but not talk), so I'll bash out a quick friendly/playful/informational text to someone I know who texts, but will think "well so and so doesn't text so I'll have to call them later" and often I forget or don't have time. As a result this translates to more physical time spent with my text buddies as we make plans or just actively remain in each other's lives and minds. Of course I know this is just one of my biases to some extent as well. For example I'm horrible about email and pretty bad about IM too. I just DON'T like to communicate in those ways and I'm rarely willing to do it, and when I do it's generally because I feel obliged rather than want to. As a result I know I've missed out on, and lost touch with, several of my friends. I also know that it drives people crazy that I won't myspace or facebook. When it comes down to it these obstacles can be overcome by one person making concessions to the other's preferred way of communicating, but on some level there's always going to be some diminishing as a result of one of the two people being unwilling to communicate in one of the prevalent ways. People can call or text me, but if they're already on myspace and messaging other people they'd probably prefer to do that and are more likely to not bother with calling or texting me at all. I recognize that and often think "well I guess I'll get one"...but I just don't want to. -Kevin

I agree that it can be difficult to estimate wait times for doctors, but I also agree that it would be VERY useful. I very much appreciate knowing how long I can expect to wait, even approximately, because then I know exactly what I can and can't get into. For example if I call my cable company and they tell me my approximate wait time is 10 minutes, then I know I can jam out to at least one or two full songs at full volume without worry about missing them when they come on the line. Or I know that I have time to set the phone down for a few minutes and take care of other chores while I wait. If I'm physically waiting in line I know that I have time to go the restroom and then come back and grab a beverage. Or maybe run back out to my car and pick up a magazine or something else I may have forgotten. In general I think approximate wait times are very useful! My solution for doctor's offices would be for them to maybe have an electronic listing of the next 5 patients to be seen. It's not at all precise, but if your name isn't even on the list yet then you know you're in for awhile longer. Granted it would be somewhat expensive and time consuming to set this up, but it wouldn't be too bad, especially in newer, high traffic offices. Here's a phrase that I've always found amusing: "I'll let you go now" For when someone is on the phone and wants to hang up. It's exactly the opposite of what they mean to say, which is essentially: "Please let me go now"

I *think* I mentioned "Killing Me Softly" in one of my earlier posts, in fact I really thought I did in the first post, but I can't be sure without going back to look. In any case I strongly agree and think it's very romantic. I very much agree there too, and have often thought along those same lines with regard to this song. Another song I put a spin like that on which fits perfectly, though probably not at all how the artists intended, is " " by Life House. To me it's the quintessential song about being gay and out of sync with society but being strong and taking a positive stand. "you can be right and I'll be real honesty won't be a pain that you'll have to feel cause I don't need your approval to find my worth I'm trapped inside of my own mind afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find and I don't want to live like this anymore" "does it scare you that I can be something different than you would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't you can't control me and you can't take away from me who I am" "have you ever felt like your only comfort was your cage you're not alone I've felt the same as you have you ever felt like your secrets give you away you're not alone I've been there too cause everyone is looking and everyone is laughing but I think everyone feels the same everybody wants to feel ok everybody wants to everybody wants to feel" -Kevin

The smile is always the most important part! Thanks for the pics, Old Bob! I think you look great for a man in his older years

I know I'm late to the party, but here I am! I think a big part of this is your age and the time in which you live. Very fortunately alternative sexualities are starting to become more acceptable in society. I genuinely believe that the majority of people are not exclusively gay or straight in their attractions, even if they have a very strong leaning. Thus, to me the increase in 'bisexuality' is simply a result of it being more acceptable to classify yourself as such. Another big factor is that I think at your age (and even at mine for that matter) quite a few people who will eventually 'decide' haven't done so yet, so by default they claim bisexuality. Personally speaking I've had quite a ride in terms of how I classify my sexuality (but never much in terms of comfort with it). At the beginning of puberty I thought myself 'straight', toward the middle I thought I was bi, toward the end and until recently I've thought I was gay. I've never really thought I was completely one way or the other, I've just at different points decided to classify myself as such. Lately, to be honest, I've been dying to try out a relationship (or at least the physical aspects of a relationship ) with a girl. I'm positive that I have a preference for guys, but I'd really like to experiment with girls. Obviously I may be biased, but I think a lot of people have similar feelings, even if they're not completely conscious feelings, or not something they're comfortable with. To me the 'trend' toward bisexuality is very encouraging. It shows a greater openness and flexibility toward sexuality, but I don't think it truly threatens individuals who are completely one way or the other (and I do believe that a lot of people are one way or the other), so to me it can only be a good thing. To quote the Garbage song, Androgyny: "Take what you need to turn you on" And "Don't let a soulmate pass you by" As for the pregnancy thing, well that I'm positive is a factor of associating with people in their late teens and twenties Wait 60 years and see if all your friends are still getting pregnant Just my thoughts, Kevin

LOL, still stuck on "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic At the Disco. I have been throwing in some Seether though.

LOL, well for now I'll leave it, but I do think this thread is most appropriately placed in the Games and Humor section, so I'll shift it over there -Kevin

Awww Yes, exactly. Not to be cynical but this is just a theoretical poll, and for most of us the situation is something we can only imagine. While I do sincerely believe the members that have commented saying that they would stay with their partner (myself being among their number) we can't really know how we'd handle it until we're faced with it. It also seems likely that the real issues and difficulties that would come up would be secondary to the accident and more of a result of it than anything else. It might be fine to be willing to take care of your incapacitated, disfigured partner, but it might be harder to see someone who was once so strong and full of life wasting away, losing hope, and feeling worthless. I do believe we're a good bunch and that we'd care for our own, but let's remember that 'but for the grace go I'. Take care all -Kevin

WOOO HOOO! So glad you're still trucking along having an awesome time! LOL, you are going to post lots of beautiful pictures for us to look at when you get back right? Take care, have fun, and be safe! Kevin

Happy Birthday, Dude!! I hope it's a great one!

LOL, I'm reading the Gay and Lesbian Encyclopedia. Must be up on my GLBT facts after all!

WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!! Hats off to the man who made/makes it all possible!

Well technically I stole it from Jakob, since his was the blog I copy and pasted from, but I read and commented on both, so yeah guilty as charged

Well, personally I've been opposed to the war since before it started and I was at no point ever in favour of it. I'm probably not the person to talk to about this, but personally I'm not a fan of using the Constitution as the inerrant, unevolving authority for today's decisions. To me that's exactly the same as what many fundamentalist Christians do with the Bible. I piss off a lot of Christians and a lot of Americans (and a lot of Christian Americans ), but personally I think both documents are wonderful and still offer much inspiration, but I just can't get behind having them be the 'final word' because put simply we live in much different times and the situations are much different. Far be it from me to presume to speak for God or our founding fathers, but it's my hunch that they would want us to evolve with the times and to make the best moral and political decisions we can make in today's context. Many of the major concerns of the time of conception of these documents just aren't a 'big deal' anymore, and quite a few others that ARE a big deal in today's world just weren't anywhere on the radar back then. A third and major segment is the issues which have always been, and will always be relevant, and for that I say use these documents as a guide. However, I also say that we mustn't forget that specificsare different, even if situations are fundamentally the same, and as such we must interpret these documents and leave plenty of room for them to grow and evolve into today's world. To be very specific about the situation described, the speed of communication and war are worlds away from what they were when the constitution was written. Back then they may have had time to do a laborious evaluation and voting, but today we simply might not. We're also getting and receiving information infinitely more quickly. It's just a different world we live in. I do not support congresses decision, but I do support the procedure and the principle that they had the right to do it as they did in violation of the Constitution in this case. Of course you already acknowledge these points and state that you didn't personally agree, and I can definitely respect that, and I'm sure you can understand my position as I can understand yours. Anyway though, despite the fact that I can't quite get behind the sentiment of your blog as it stands, I have to say it's extremely insightful, factually accurate, and a lot of fun to read I also think the message is positive and hopeful, and that I can support Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Fun survey! I took it too, in my blog YAY, for not having to deal with the banana man! Happy belated birthday, Tob Take care and have an awesome day Kevin

Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your partner? I would definitely want, and expect, to forgive them at some point, but in all likelihood both relationships would be over. How old will you be on your next birthday? I hate this question I shall be 24; now leave me alone about my age! Have you ever seen a live bat? Yuppers, there's a 'bat colony' in Houston, and I'd seen them before then. They're cute little things! Is there anything/anyone you hate? ...I hate that question above No, not really in the literal sense though, and certainly not people. Are you single? Yep Do you like the color orange? Yes, but I don't wear it. Do you find it in your heart to forgive? Forgiveness is one of the most fundamentally important spiritual things in my life. I would be deeply disappointed in myself if I could not forgive someone. Would you rather not drink or not sleep? Well I'd be pretty miserable either, but since water is my permanent accessory and since the thirst would probably start to irritate me far sooner than the exhaustion I'll go with I'd rather not sleep. Have you ever seen a real redneck? HAHAHA! I see them every day! Do tattoos and piercings excite you? I used to be very turned off by them, I still don't really care for tattoos, but I'm mostly neutral on them. Piercings in the right places on the right guys can be hot. Honestly though, for a long-term partner I think I'd prefer him to come tattoo and piercing free, but it certainly wouldn't be a deal breaker. I don't have or intend to have, either. What's the meaning of life? Good question! My philosophy is that I never want to leave a relationship or interaction with a net negative experience for the other person. This could be something big like a partner, close friend, family member, or something much less significant like a cashier at a store or a waiter at a restaurant. Whatever the case I want the person to be slightly better off/happier/whatever than before I entered their life. It's okay if nothing really happens either way, and I'm fine with people not liking me, but I would be sorry if they actively regretted having met me, or if they weren't somehow better off for it. A good example would be homophobia. I know some people are just going to straight up dislike me because I'm gay, and that's fine, because I think the exposure to a gay person - hopefully modeling positive or at least neutral behaviour - will ultimately be good for them or at least give them something to think about. In sum, I would say that the meaning of life is to enjoy it and to spread that enjoyment to others! What size shoes do you wear? 10 USA....wanna buy me a pair? What's your favorite season? I like 'em all. Spring is beautiful; I like the fashion best in winter; fall has the most pleasant weather around here; summer is always a happy time. Why pick? Do you care if people talk smack about you? I really don't if the people are having fun or bonding over it or whatever. That is, as long as they're not people I'm close with and they're not saying stuff they know would really hurt me if I heard it. How long are you on the phone daily? Depends on the day. I'm much more of a texter though. On average I would think maybe 20 minutes. Some days are far less and some days are far more, and that's every phone call combined. Really hard to say. Sorry, I forgot to ask your name? Kevin Are you in a good mood? Almost perpetually, but the last few days have been particularly wonderful! Do you believe in luck? Depends on how you define 'luck', but in all likelihood the answer is 'yes'. Everything happens for a reason, right? I suppose Would you rather skydive or bungee jump? I've sorta bungee jumped before, but I'd like to do it again from higher up. I'd love to skydive! So I'll vote for skydive! Do you like snakes? I lectured one of my good friends this weekend for trying to kill one needlessly. Excluding insects you'd be hard pressed to find an animal I like less, but I believe all life has a right to exist and there's no point in needlessly killing anything. It's also bad for the ecosystem. Live and let live is my motto. Where is one place that you'd like to visit? I have far more than ONE place I'd like to visit. I'll go with London. Do you like waffles? They're okay. Not that nutritious and I'm not crazy about them, so I'd probably only eat them if I were hungry and they were the only thing around, but they're not bad and can be very enjoyable. Anything your looking forward to? Lotsa stuff, nothing I care to pinpoint at the moment though. Do you have more or less than five best friends? Hmm, I've counted up, and I have eight people that I would readily and very accurately describe as "one of my best friends." Six of those have probably literally been my best friend at different points in time whereas the other two have just consistently been extremely close friends that I really care about. Those six would almost always feel like my best friend whenever I'm with them. Two of the eight have been really really close friends since my teens, and a different two of the eight are my 'best friends' in the most emotionally intense, active, and present sense. If I had to pick one of the last two would get the 'title'. I also have quite a few 'good friends', that I really care about and love spending time with, and many more 'casual friends'. I'm pretty free with my affection and friendship; although this doesn't mean I take it lightly. What would you do if the friend you talk to most stopped talking to you? Been there, done that... I forgave him and got on with my life. As I said above I have other awesome friends, so it wasn't the end of the world, but it did hurt like hell, and he definitely was my primary 'best friend' at the time Actually we're still riding the emotional roller coaster because we have so many mutual friends we're more or less 'stuck' in each other's lives. It's getting better though, and while I do hope we can re-establish consistently friendly relations, I know I never want to be close with him again. Does the number 23 have any significance to you? Yes, I've been 23 for awhile now, but as I said, I don't like to discuss or focus on age. Be honest, do you like people in general? Oh very much! People are awesome! Big or small dogs? Definitely big dogs, but I like all dogs in principle and most in application. Do you like Big Macs? No way! First of all I don't meat (which I suppose is how you could classify that), and second I don't eat fast food. Did someone bother you today? Nope Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? Not at all Does someone love you? Lots of people do and I love them back Do you know anyone named Dave? Yeah I do, he's an awesome guy and a moderately good friend of mine. Unfortunately he's moving away soon, but I think he's making the right decision and will be happy, so I support him in this. Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a R? I was going to say no, then I remembered that a couple of nights ago my friend Rocky greeted me with one of those 'gay kisses', so yes. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? Not that I recall. I have a very small family. Have you ever tried Gatorade? When I was a kid, but I preferred Powerade and haven't drunk either in years. Do you think that Starbucks is expensive? I've come to accept the cost as expected, so relatively no, but objectively yes, it is. Are you named after a family member? Kinda sorta, my middle name is my grandfather's first name. Say you were given a drug test right now. Would you pass or fail? I