AFriendlyFace

I would speculate that perhaps the "famous people" that are going to be in America are The Shadows, not necessarily Instinct. I made more sense to me in terms of my understanding of the schedule for each band *shrug*

Well I'll defend this course. Just as a disclaimer, my own degree is psychology/sociology, with a heavy anthropology slant. Anyway, I think this is a very important course (from the sound of it that is, obviously I haven't taken it myself). There IS more to being gay than who you sleep with. Just like there's more to be black than having dark skin, or more to being cajun that being in Louisiana with a French heritage, or more to being Jewish than simply what you believe religiously. There are whole cultures attached to these groups! Yes, obviously no one needs to know the history and course of gay culture in order to be "gay" in the orientation sense, but knowing a little bit about our unique historical and cultural experiences, and being able to take the context of the times into account is most definitely something I wholeheartedly encourage. It's every bit as important as any other historical or cultural class. If you're the sort that thinks studying history and culture are inherently pointless...well then we're in complete and total disagreement and I won't even bother arguing with you. However, if you're the sort that can see the value in studying history and cultures of any other type...well then IMO it's hypocritical (and very sad coming from a gay person) that you can't stop and think for a bit and see the value in this one as well. Yes, it explores stereotypes, but as the description says the point is to show that there are MANY different ways in which to express one's gayness, and whether or not you actually want to accept and embrace these stereotypes and employ them in your own life is completely irrelevant. At least you will have learned about them. You'll know what people (both gay and straight) are talking about when they reference them. You'll perhaps find it enriching. You'll get a better perspective on who YOU as a gay individual are by comparing which ones directly apply to you and which don't. I've studied gay history and culture pretty extensively on my own, and I'm also pretty up on current trends in the community. I can say with complete confidence that the majority of what I've seen, read, watched, etc. doesn't directly apply to me in my own life whatsoever. However, having learned these things makes me better able to relate to gay people of different generations, helps me put things into context, and gives me a yardstick by which to measure my own life. In other words the societal pressures that existed in the past aren't such that they would ever be able to force me deep into a closet and force me into a loveless, sexless marriage*, but they prevent me from being so arrogant as to assume this could not have happened to me in a different time and place, and they give me strength and hope in bad times, by remembering that I'm not like those past generations. Those are certainly not things I regret having learned, and a class designed to teach them is certainly not something I would trivialize. -Kevin *I'm not trying to criticise those who did enter straight relationships. In fact quite the opposite I'm attempting to express respect for them. I also believe that if there is love in these relationships - which is definitely possible - they may not necessarily have been a mistake at all.

I do not see you as a colour. I do not care where you were born. I respect your religion but I will not think about you in terms of it. I do not judge you based on the neighbourhood you live in. I am sensitive of your disability but I will not exclude you because of it, nor will I allow you to use it as a permanent excuse. I will not respect you any more or less solely because of your education level. I will assume responsibility of exactly one half of all communication break downs that are a result of language differences. I do not view you as a number. I'm so damn sick of prejudice. Racism. Anti-religious and anti-cultural sentiments. Elitism. Ethnocentrism. It's stupid, tedious, and frickin' pointless. It's also completely ubiquitous. The nicest people will suddenly be ranting about Mexicans. An otherwise sane individual assumes all Jews, Muslims, Protestants, Catholics, or athiests are out to get them or whatever group they belong to. The list just goes on and on ad nauseum (and believe me I'm pretty "nauseous" about the whole thing). Of course the sad thing is that after awhile a great many people of whatever scorned group we're discussing will in turn become distrustful and malevolent toward everyone else of that other group. You think that black girl won't be racist, but then she'll say crap about another minority and expect that whites will treat her lousy. You assume that poor man will respect your differences in background because perhaps you realize he had it tough...then you find out he thinks you are stupid and lazy. You would guess that the senior citizen wouldn't exclude or ignore others because of age...but she does. You hope that because someone was once a foreigner themselves they will be patient with those who are inexperienced in their ways; they aren't. Then there's the people who seem impervious to prejudice. She completely respects other races. She doesn't care about economic statuses, she doesn't think life begins at 18, nor does she assume it ends at 65. ...then you find out she's anti ANY religion. He has the utmost amount of respect for religion. Race just doesn't matter. Neither does age...but he's an elitist snob. He doesn't think of less of someone based on their income. He respects and champions the rights of the disabled. ...but he's a racist. Unfortunately these are real people I know/have known, and believe me I could go on. It makes me sick and disappoints me to no end. And I try to be patient with it. I try to be as respectful as possible while asserting my own belief in equality. I remind myself that they come from different backgrounds, and that they grew up in a different atmosphere, that everyone is different, that no one is perfect. But there comes a point where I just want to thump them and say "LOOK, what you're doing! This is the same attitude you (rightly) despise in X situation" It sucks even more that because I'm a young, educated, white, Christian, male from the south I have to go the extra mile to earn the respect of countless groups, groups I usually spend a great deal of time defending behind their back. Well here's a newsflash: I'm not racist. I want to learn more about your language/culture. I like women, especially lesbians. You won't make me uncomfortable by being yourself. And I've probably heard or done it all before myself. I'm not trying to say everyone is screwed up. I've known a couple of other people who didn't seem to hold any of these prejudices, but the fact is it's almost pointless to say "I won't associate with anyone who is prejudiced", because I can only think of about three people I've ever known who I can say with near certainty weren't at all prejudiced in any way. There are countless others who may not be prejudiced, but there's also a very good chance I just didn't find their area of prejudice and/or they had the social skills and sense to cover it up. Besides this small handful of truly accepting people to which I refer certainly had other issues in abundance. Am I "perfect" with regards to prejudice? Well no. I confess I have a strong preference for...well women and minorities. I'll probably initially automatically trust you more if you're a woman or a male who is non-straight, a non-native born American, a member of a minority race/religion, a senior citizen/minor, or someone chronically ill/disabled/handicapped. It's stupid. I know there are a lot of very nice healthy, straight, white, American guys, between the ages of 18 and 64, but this is the demographic that has to "prove" themselves to me to some extent, whereas I'll generally operate under the assumption that other groups of people are going to be nifty until proven otherwise. At least I know this about myself. I would never argue that this unconscious reaction is correct. I would never trash talk about/to these people, and if I focus and stay cognizant about this reaction I usually remind myself it's probably wrong and definitely unfair.

***waves as he walks in*** Hey Jamie! Well, I don't get online that often, but you're definitely quite welcome to add me My name's in my profile. Patience is quite nice, and you should definitely exercise it. However, you should certainly NOT wait to be happy! Nor should you wait to do anything else you feel will move you toward the sort of place you want to be in. If you want/need more money, then start saving every little bit you can! I know it's hard, but there are almost always things you can do (like maybe not spending it on cigs? ). And you CAN get a job even though you're in school and you don't drive. When I was in college I knew alota people in that situation. Campus jobs are ridiculously flexible, however, you'd also be stunned at how flexible some "regular" jobs can be too! Especially if you're in a college town/college area. They're used to students! They totally might be like "ohh, so you can do like 3 hours on wednesday and 6 hours on Saturday? OK" As for health, NEVER put that one off! Anyway, the point is that even if you don't do the above things, you should STILL not let that be an excuse not to be happy. It is possible to be unhealthy, broke, busy, and without a bf and STILL be happy. Just enjoy the simple things! Like today I laughed my butt off because when I was getting into my truck, this big black crow was sitting in the bed, and he totally freaked me out! It was stupid, I jumped back and made a startled noise in the middle of a crowded parking lot, but I still got a massive kick out of it! There are just so many funny scenarios to imagine. Maybe the bird was hoping he could stow away and get a free ride. Perhaps he was waiting to ambush me. Maybe he was playing hide and seek with another bird. None of that's even slightly likely, but it's still a lark to imagine! So yeah, enjoy the simple things LOL, I have a few numbers I could give you I heard a very similar, very long version of this complaint Sunday, from my best friend. I've also heard this song sung by MANY members of this forum, tons of friends, and countless random people ranting in public places. Heck, I've hummed this tune myself! The point is, everyone - or nearly everyone - feels that way, at least some of the time, but like all other emotions fear and rejection are part of the human experience, and everyone does experience them. They feel unique and different, and extra intense to you, but that's because they're YOUR emotions. Lots of people feel like they couldn't take any sort of rejection, and yeah, it'll hurt, it might be horribly embarrassing, maybe you won't ever forget it, but seriously, you'll get over it, you'll go on, you'll quit obsessing about it all the time. And you'll get to do it again and again until you find "The One". So give it a try! Besides, I'll tell you a little secret, the more it happens the less of a big deal it becomes Anyway I think you're awesome and I'm wishing you the best (and imagining you in those dinosaur briefs ) Take care and have a wonderful day -Kevin

So I've been having a really wonderful few weeks!! Incredibly awesome actually! Everything's going well and I've been having a blast! Something interesting happened yesterday that made me feel a bit like I was in a sitcom. As I mentioned in my comments in the last blog, my best friend had kinda sorta started seeing this guy. It was confusing, and the other guy didn't really know what he wanted. Meanwhile, I'd been kinda, sorta seeing this cute Japanese boy *cues Vapors song* Actually that was...nondescript too....well actually it was just a fling. At the same time our other good friend was in an actual relationship with this other guy. Now it's the final pairing that was actually the most problematic for everyone involved. Basically we (me, 'good friend' from previous entries, and our other two friends) were all trying to be supportive of their relationship, and nice to the guy...only he kinda made us all uncomfortable. He kept hitting on us, all of us! In front of his boyfriend/our friend no less, and in very flagrant ways! Anyway, we all went out the other night, had dinner/movie nights, get togethers, etc. and it was all really fun, only over the last two days we've all ended our respective...situations. So New Year's Eve comes and we're all sitting around, drinking, playing games, setting off fireworks*, etc., sans the boyfriends. It just struck me that right at the New Year we were all back where we'd started from (granted all these flings were very limited in duration and the longest - the actual relationship one - was about three weeks). Still hanging out, and having fun together, but all ready to start the dating game over again. Just seemed like the ending of a sitcom Holiday Special. In other news, my New Year's resolution is to give up chocolate(!) which is of course my biggest healthy lifestyle sin. I'm also considering joining a gym with the non-drinking friend (see footnote ). I'm not sure if I should though. I mean I actively don't want to bulk up or gain a lot of muscle (I really like the slender look not just on others, but on myself as well), and overall I'm pretty happy with my body. On the other hand, it would probably be fun, and regardless I could use more exercise! Ohh, I also got a permanent job...well, as permanent as possible, I doubt I'll do it (or any job really) forever, but I can see myself happily doing it until I either move away from Houston or finish my schooling and get that Ph.D. I want (which is just so far in the future, it'd probably be more likely that I'll move away first). Anyway, I really like it! It's an office position working for a company that does assisted living for seniors. It feels rewarding and relevant, and it's far enough into the "human services" field that it seems semi-related to what I'll eventually further my education in. Anyway, what I like best about it is the schedule (M-F, 9-5 - which IMO is pretty much the perfect schedule assuming you're working 40 hours a week), as well as the general stability of the whole thing. So yeah, while I could tell you all lots of specific stories about happy happenstances, as well as a few sombre situations, that have been occurring, I shan't bother. I'll just end this on: I'm doing great, everything's going well, and the world's a lovely place! I hope everyone had an awesome New Year's day, and may the coming year bring you all a great deal of peace, love, happiness, and all that other nifty stuff that people like so much Take care all! *before someone points out how irresponsible it is to drink and play with fireworks - which I agree with - I want to point out that the person lighting them was one of our good friends who was not only not drinking, but doesn't drink at all.

A happy new year to all

Happy Birthday, dude! I hope it's a good one! -Kevin

You'll never catch him...I hear the goat is on the lam( B )

Happy Birthday, Jack I hope you have a really awesome year! -Kevin

Wooo HOOOO!! Congrats Joe!!! -Kevin

I gotta agree with SRV on this one! Who hasn't made a fool of themselves at a party before? Goodness knows I'd hate for footage of me at any one of quite a few parties I've attended over the last several years to surface. Even if you're not much of a "partier " I think we can all admit we've made fools of ourselves and had embarrassing moments at some time or another. I don't think that's particularly shocking. They're going to do whatever they can to get the juiciest ( ) shot they can. I thinks it's unfortunate what they do and I wouldn't personally be able to reconcile being a member of the paparazzi to my morals beliefs (and thus wouldn't choose that profession), but I think the actions are expectable. Personally, I think it's ridiculous that's it's such a big deal. So she wasn't wearing underwear? Who cares? Depending on the outfit I've often gone commando too. Admittedly, I've always done so in some form of pants, but I really don't think it's that big of a deal for a woman in a skirt/dress to do it. YES, she should definitely avoid wind, and situations in which her skirt will ride up (like getting out of a car), but if she's comfortable with that risk I really don't think it's our business. I would have a problem with it if she'd made a big deal about the picture being taken or people looking, because if you do that I think you've got to accept and acknowledge that risk and you know what you're getting yourself into. But unless she's doing this at schools and churches I think it's her business. No one has to look and if someone does accidentally catch a glimpse it's really not that big a deal UNLESS people make it a big deal. Geez, grow up US society! Hmm on an emotional level I agree with you for the most part but... I definitely agree with Steve on these two points. I still think that overall that publicity was good for them. If their work still weren't smash hits than perhaps it was just because it didn't have the necessary quality, or because it just didn't resonate with the audience, but I think publicity (bad and good) had done a great deal for Lindsey and Paris, and definitely helped their careers. If they still didn't have wild success it just goes to show that there is a limit to how far publicity can get you. At some point you either have to be talented or have something very marketable. For the record, I happen to think Lindsey Lohan is a solid actress. I haven't seen that many of her movies, but every one I have seen I've thought she was good, or at least perfectly adequate. I think most of the movies themselves just aren't good enough to be hits. Amen to that! Hmmm, personally I'm very much with Frosty on this one. First of all the way people tend to treat the constitution as essentially "infallible" really irritates me. YES, I think it's a very important document, it's extremely well and thoughtfully written, and it's very relevant. However, like everything else, it's constrained by the time period and context in which it was written. If people can't adapt to new circumstances and situations then society is doomed. Abortion, gay rights, global warming, a nuclear world...none of these things were even slightly on the radar when the constitution was written. Looking to it as the only and final answer to these questions strikes me as somewhat foolish. The world changes, people change, society change, if the government doesn't change with them... Personally I think this is very much akin to looking to the Bible to answer these questions. The Bible is also wonderful, and vitally important, and I respect it immensely. I'll even go so far as to say it may have been 'infallible' in the time and context in which it was written. As a Christian I do believe that it is the word of God. However, that doesn't mean that everything in it is literal or that we should still follow unthinkingly without taking its (and more importantly our) context into consideration. Let me be grandiose and imagine myself as God and/or a contributer to the Constitution. I may very well look at something and say, "Nope, we can't have that!" or "Yes, we definitely need to do this.", but I've got a reason. For example: "no, we can't encourage gay sex" because we really really need people to reproduce and spread Christianity (no longer the case, but true enough at the time). Or "Yes, we must have the electoral college" because the average citizen is too ill-informed to make a good decision (also true enough at the time, but hopefully no longer the case). Assuming I'm still that very same diety and/or founding father I would look around today and exactly reverse those decisions based on our (over) population and the prolific nature of political coverage in the media. All four decisions would have been/are "correct" in their given time period(in my personal opinion that is, and obviously I'm biased since those are my personal opinions), but their contexts and reasons are vitally important and ever changing. We - and these institutions - must evolve or face extinction. Anyway, I suspect these positions won't be especially popular, and I apologize if I offended anyone. Also, I attempted to keep my discussion of government as non-partisan and possible, and similarly keep my discussion of religion as respectful as possible. These are just my opinions and I readily allow for the likelihood that other people's opinions are just as "correct" (which I don't believe in, in an absolute sense anyway, especially with regard to these matters) and "valid" as mine. Take care everyone and have a great day -Kevin

Hi everyone! Ok, let's see if we can figure this out before New Year's! LOL let's face it we're going to be talking about it anyway! SO who do you guys think died? Here's the evidence I see for each person: Chase: He may be the one because: -It clearly looks like Steve set him up and has been planning to for sometime. In fact way back in chapter 17 when I first read about his desire to take them rock climbing I was concerned he'd try something on Chase or Brandon. -He was actually dangling off the cliff when last we saw him. -He just had sex/deepening of his and Brandon's relationship. This makes for more creative drama, it completes a little bit of previously unfinished business, and - as anyone who's seen Scream 1 can tell you - having sex for the first time in a movie/story/etc. is a quick way to get yourself off-ed. -He may be Helen's 'favorite'. Chase has also given her some grief and if I had had to guess who Helen's favourite was prior to this chapter I'd have picked Chase. He's not the one because: -He's too central a character. -It's too 'obvious'. -The band couldn't continue without him. It's possible/probable that the band can't continue with the loss of any of the four, but Brandon and Chase seem the most irreplaceable - musically speaking that is - in my estimation. It seems to me that it would be easier to replace a guitarist or bassist or even have the other pick up the slack themselves. Of course that comes from someone without much musical knowledge. Eric: He may be the one because: -Most people, including myself (initially) assumed it was him. -Helen's remark about him dying young now looks prophetic -Steve also would have had a motive to kill him at the point in which the chapter cut off. -Barbra's remark about "in spite of everything she thought he was Helen's favourite brother" definitely looks like indicting him. Prior to the "in spite of everything" remark I thought Chase was Helen's favourite, but if we take "in spite of everything" into consideration it does look more like Eric. He's not the one because: -Logistically speaking he actually seems like the safest of the brothers. Unless Steve is going to be blatantly homicidal - and in front of Wilde no less - Eric seems pretty safe up there. Plus I think Wilde's a good guy and would try to stop Steve. -He may also be "too obvious" considering that the majority initially assumed it was him. -He's also a fairly central brother and I get the feeling that CJ really enjoys writing for him. Jon (He's my pick): It's him because: -He tried to catch Chase. What I'm thinking happened is that if Steve did try to set up Chase (which I could go either way on thinking), Jon rushed over to try to catch him/help him and broke Chase's fall with his neck. -He could be Helen's favourite. He also gave Helen a lot of grief, and as the oldest, and the one she probably interacted with the most, professionally speaking, I think there's a good chance he's the 'favorite'. -He seems like the most expendable. As I said he seems more expendable than Chase musically speaking. He also seems like the most expendable of the three brothers in terms of story development and plot, and I suspect he's not as much fun to write for as Chase and Eric. He's not the one because: -Chase and Eric do seem more 'set up' to be the victim in this case. (that's all I got. I really think if someone died it was him!) So that's my evaluation of the odds for the three brothers. The way I see it that white car is almost certainly the paparazzi, and they were on the scene and did report it before Helen found out. It's possible that someone else died and they misreported it however. It could be Brandon if like Jon he tried to catch Chase, but it probably isn't because he's the most central character. It could be Steve if he and Eric did get into a confrontation and he fell off the edge. This very well could have happened because Chase had just fallen (and only been hurt) and Eric was thus mad, or because of what Steve overheard Eric and Wilde discussing (in which case it's still possible that he's 'shaken up' - or acting like it - because Chase fell and hurt himself). It could be Wilde if a similar scenario as described directly above occurred and Wilde attempted to intervene. It could be Zeke if Chase fell on him OR if Chase started to fall and thus he got horrible tangled up in the equipment trying to save him. It may have been no one, and they're either purposely perpetrating a hoax, or the paparazzi misreported the events of the accident. SO what do you guys think? -Kevin

Hi everyone! Well well, here I go and fall three chapters behind in my reading and decide "ohh, well you have a 3 hour car ride today...perfect time to catch up" I thought it was an excellent chapter though...actually I thought all three of the most recent ones (which I just finished) were excellent I'm not going to comment about who I think died in this thread...instead I'm going to do what I do best: make a poll! I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this in the other two threads, but in the spirit of helping out, I noticed that in either chapter 17 or 18 (I think 18), "Zeke" is referred to as "Zack", also at one point in either chapter 18 or 19 the word "moist" is substituted for "most", I believe it's something like "moist people would have thought...." (perhaps when The Scar and Demetri were testing the new gunsmith???) Anyway I've got a poll to start lol! Great chapter, CJ! -Kevin

Merry Christmas

Jamie!!!! Sorry to disappoint you, or further add to the disturbing trend you've been seeing! Things just get way too complicated sometimes...I definitely want something more....eventually. Right now though I pity anyone who tries to get into a serious relationship with me. I'm just not in a very "relationshipy" place. As I said, I just keep changing my mind about everything right now: what I want to do careerwise, what I want to do educationwise, where I want to live, whether or not I want to stay in Houston (for good? for a few more years?? for a few more months???). I'm also just being completely spacey and all around flakey in general. I'm having fun, and because I'm not in any serious relationships I'm not hurting anyone, and presumably I'll settle down eventually, but right now it would just be really unfair for someone to consider building a picture of their life with me in it for the long-haul. They could very well fall in love with a nice Houston boy, who likes playing pool, is pursuing a degree in social work, and working with the elderly (all more or less true right now), and then discover in three months that he's a New York boy, who's into theatre, isn't interested in any further degrees, and works as a freelance writer (all also fairly possible, and things I'd love to do/be). *shrug* Who in their right mind would want to take that on? LOL Anyway thanks for the support, and BTW, I think you're super-nifty! -Kevin

Hey Old Bob! Thanks! That's exactly what I did, and I think it's worked out pretty well *sigh* I think you're right about that. I'm usually pretty happy and upbeat, but my feelings, desires, ambitions, goals, motives, etc. have been changing rapidly lately. Every time I think I know what I want, something changes my mind before I even get a chance to pursue that something, and that is not just about interpersonal relationships, but all matters recently :wacko: Thank you! Excellent advice Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Drew Well good, I'm glad you don't have that problem with your friends! I'm certainly not afraid of having gay male friends for fear of attraction, in fact nearly all of my local friends are gay males! I love being friends with other gay guys. It's great, and I definitely need these friendships in my life, I was merely expressing a regret that due to the nature of attraction there's often a line in these relationships that both people have to be careful to avoid crossing, which other combinations of friends don't have to worry about quite as much. As I've often said I've had a lot of close friendships with lesbians, and what I've really enjoyed about those relationships is the freedom to tell them they look great, or that they're wonderful, or to use terms of endearment or to touch them in a friendly, affectionate manner without worrying that they're going to misconstrue my intentions. I actually think it's quite nice that there is the possibility of "something more" in my friendships with other gay guys, but I think everyone needs friends they can be as "friendly with" as they like without either person considering it the least bit sexual. Anyway take care and have a great day! -Kevin

Hey Richie! Exactly!!! Exactly what I'm worried about again!!! LOL, things can just get so complicated :wacko: I'm glad things worked out for you! Take care and have a fantastic day! -Kevin

Hey Ieshwar! Thanks for the support! We both just ended up not bringing it up again. We're also both sort of pursuing new relationships. He had a date tonight and I have one tomorrow He still delayed his plans to do me a big favour though! And he's still definitely above the guy I'm going to see tomorrow in terms of priority for me as well. But I really see that as more of a friend thing than anything else. Take care and have a wonderful day! -Kevin

Hey Graeme That's some excellent advice, but I really don't think it's what I want right now, especially with him. What I need right now, much more than a boyfriend, is just a bestfriend. Someone who actually lives in the same city as me, and won't randomly decide to end our friendship. Yes, there's a fear of losing him, but I think that's more or less irrelevant in that I just couldn't imagine taking things in that direction with him right now. Thanks though! -Kevin

Thanks Vic! I didn't end up doing that (printing the quote), but your statement about good friends definitely sums up how I feel about him. Boyfriends are nice and all, but I just don't see me settling down for good just yet, and he's way too special to, as you said, risk losing with an attempt at dating. Take care and have a great day! Kevin

Gabe!!! Glad you've been doing well Have a nice Christmas! -Kevin

It was a really awesome story, Steve! I thoroughly enjoyed it and was very honoured to have appeared in it! Great job! Merry Christmas, Everyone! -Kevin

Nope, that food is called Edamame. It's amazingly tasty, low in calories, low in sodium, and incredibly high in protein and fiber!!