AFriendlyFace

What a fascinating discussion we're having! It seems like most of us aren't big drinkers at all. In fact apart from myself and Menzo I don't think anyone else has said that they are frequently drunk. For my own part I'm sure I wouldn't drink if I did get hang overs, throw up while drunk, or get sad or angry when drunk, but I'm very lucky in that none of that happens to me. I've been told frequently that I'm an extremely pleasant, fun drunk and I always feel just fine. So I don't feel too bad about knocking a few back from time to time. Anyway, I think the important thing is to drink responsibly and safely Take care all, Kevin

Sounds like a fun and adventurous trip! I'm glad you're have such a good time! I wish I could go to Europe and do those things! BTW I deleted those two duplicate posts for you Take care, be safe, and have an awesome time!!! -Kevin

"Knock Three Times" - not sure of the artist

Wow that does sound good! I might check it out eventually too!

Well that's okay though. I don't mind losing daylight in the morning, daylight in the evening is much more preferable IMO. LOL, now that is a good idea!

Well that was amusing. Thanks also to Jamie for those links

Interesting! Thanks for the update!

Thanks for the nostalgia, Old Bob I'm pretty sure Myr has answered this question before, I believe it was in his interview for the newsletter about a year ago, but I could be wrong. As I recall, and I may be recalling incorrectly. They were either 'tests' or an old friend who is no longer active. Come to think of it I think it's possible one was a 'test' and one is the old friend who is no longer active, but as I said I'm going on sketchy memories from at least a year ago, so I may very well be wrong Speculation on my part but I suspect it was a gradual dying like many of the once very active threads we've had around here, then when the other New Members Welcome thread was created I guess there was never the need to resuscitate it. It is fun looking into the past Take care and have a great day all! Kevin

The sentiment you're expressing reminds me very much of how I was feeling when I wrote my blog entry, Prejudice I have a very peaceful, live and let live, equal rights for all kind of perspective on life so prejudice of any kind is definitely one of my biggest moral pet peeves. I admit that since that one holds special significance for me it's difficult for me to look at it subjectively and relatively. However, I am able to do that with most other things, even other things I don't personally agree with. I gather from our past discussions that you particularly dislike moral relativism, but I really do find it much easier to interact with other people and even get something positive from the interaction if I'm able to conclude that they're just different from me in their moral perspective, but that it might work for them and might not be inherently wrong. The litmus test I always use is whether or not their actions harm anyone else. If they don't then there's very little if anything I would consider inherently wrong. I think very few things are right or wrong, black or white; there are always shades of gray and if you ask me it really just depends on your perspective. As far as how much you should put up with...well only you can answer that question, but my personal approach is as follows: I assume that first and foremost my number one responsibility and priority is to be a good friend and/or family member. I'm pretty outspoken so I'll probably give my opinion, and I definitely will if it's solicited (I occasionally try to keep it to myself if it hasn't been). However, after all the debate is done, I think my role is not to make other people's decisions for them but simply to accept them as they are. I have many friends who hold positions I could never support, but I still support the friend and do my best to remember that it's okay if we don't agree. There comes a point I think where you have to just sort of shake your head, say to yourself, 'fine make your own mistakes' and then just give the person a hug and wait around to either be proven wrong or to help pick up the pieces when you're proven right. I'm a big fan of minding my own business. I suppose there also comes a point when someone you care about very much is doing something you think is absolutely disastrous and that you do have a responsibility to actually interfere and try to stop them, but I think that point is much more rare than most people tend to decide. Overt interference in other people's lives should always be an absolute last resort/extreme situation, in my opinion. Tell them your thoughts certainly, debate with them, explain your position etc. All these things are good for intellectual discourse and wise decisions, but after that I think we must also be willing to butt out and just do the unconditional love and support thing. Just my thoughts though, Take care all, Kevin

I'm embarrassed to say that I was unaware that old New Year used to be April 1st. The explanation above sounds quite plausible to me. I also have to say that I think April 1st is a more sensible New Year than January 1st. It makes alot more sense to have it be at the beginning of a season versus right in the middle of one, and Spring is the most sensible season to use since it represents new life and all that jazz. As far as the holiday itself, April Fool's have never been one of my favourites. It's not really inline with my type of humour, so I mostly find it annoying. Still, I'm glad other people get to have their fun, and I'm not usually the victim of anything particularly dreadful, so I can put up with it.

So William isn't moving to Kentucky after all. Predictably, his relationship didn't work out. Honestly I'm just so relieved it ended before he moved. Of course this aborted relocation doesn't change the fact that he and Scott have to move. The house they were renting is being sold. Originally the landlord was giving them till the beginning of the summer, but after all the stuff with William likely moving to Kentucky, and Scott and Luke deciding to move in together everything was pushed up and they now have to be out by Wednesday. Of course this kinda sucked for William because he still ended up without anywhere to live and he's dealing with the break up, AND he's being sued because of a car accident he was involved in last year. So rough times for him...except as I believe I've mentioned before the boy is resilient as hell. He's completely irrepressible. I swear he makes me seem like a chronic sad-sack. So he's pretty much already bounced back. He's back out there going out and having fun and staying open to new relationships, and he's already found someone to represent him in the legal case. He's also found a new place to live which he moves into Sunday. In the meantime he's staying with his parents. I have to hand it to him, the guy's got coping mechanisms like I've never seen before! Unfortunately things with he and Scott aren't really fixed...of course William doesn't know that because Scott won't talk to him about it. He thinks everything's fine, but Scott's pretty much planning, or at least expecting, to lose touch with him. These last five days have been insane! After work Thursday Scott and I went to a group we belong to, then a bunch of us went to dinner, then we all went club-hopping. Friday was Luke's birthday, so after work Friday was spent doing the fancy dinner thing. Then we all went to check out the new loft he and Scott are moving into, then a few of us stayed behind and played games. Saturday he was having his actual 'party' which was a paintball party. Have you guys ever done that? It's fun, you run around obstacle courses on two separate teams shooting each other with paintball guns. It does hurt a bit though and I ended up with quite a few very nasty bruises. One shot actually tore a hole in my shirt! I bruise very easily, but I also heal pretty quickly, so they're already looking much better, despite the fact that the activities of Saturday evening, all day Sunday, and most of today could only have made them worse. See, as I said Scott and Luke are moving, so after the paintball party (which Scott predictably wouldn't play in - he's not really the type so he just watched) we went and helped Scott move the majority of his stuff to the new place. Of course most of this fell on me because I'm the only with a truck and also the strongest and fittest. I also had to drive about 20 miles out of town to where Luke currently lives to help him move his bed and a few other essentials because he wanted to start staying in the new place right away. Sunday evening we had our usual church affairs, then lunch, plus another organization we belong to, then we resumed moving the rest of Scott's stuff and going shopping with Luke for a few new things (which of course we then had to unload ). Today I actually got to sleep in, which was awesome because with all the other activities I wasn't getting much sleep. Then I had to go to court for a couple of tickets I got a couple months ago. I got one for a burned out headlight and another for not having proof of insurance with me. I did have insurance, but I'd forgotten to put the new papers in my truck so all I had were the expired ones. Anyway it all worked out rather well. I got to court and there was an INSANE line, but I made good use of it by catching up and chatting with a bunch of people on the phone, and texting quite a few others. So by the time it was actually my turn I felt like the hour and a half (which I suppose isn't that bad in the first place given the 8 hours I spent at the DPS last year) had actually been quite productive and fun. It all turned out well too, since I was able to show the correct papers for my insurance and a receipt for a new headlight both tickets were dismissed and all I had to do was pay ten dollars in court cost Anyway, then I had to go and meet William, and help him move a few of his larger items to my place where he's keeping them until he moves Sunday. He'd moved the smaller things to his parents already, and gotten rid of quite a few things, but some stuff he couldn't get in his car and didn't want to take all the way out to his parents (they live a good 45min to an hour out of town) just to have to move back in a week. So yeah, he's keeping them at my place. Which is fine really, I have enough space that with some rearranging it's not too cramped and it's only for a week. Also, moving with William was so much easier than moving for Scott and Luke. See Scott is tiny, short and very smally built. He's also asthmatic. Luke's pretty sturdy but he's not in the best shape and he gets tired quickly. His new boyfriend 'John' ('Luke', 'William', and 'Scott' aren't their real names either, just names I've assigned them. I don't feel quite right about posting about them using their real names without their consent), was a great help, but also not quite as strong and very sore from the paintball party (poor thing, he looked like he was in pain just walking even without carrying anything). So as I said, most of the heavily lifting fell to me. With William it was completely different. He's a really skinny guy, but he's very strong, and very aggressive about such things, more traditionally 'masculine' than the others I suppose. So he actually insisted on doing all the heavily lifting. He also did all the arranging and organizing to make stuff fit (which was also my previous responsibility). So all I had to do was carry a few things, and grab the other end of a few more. Not bad at all. I'm still so attracted to William. I can't really help it. I know he'd be all wrong for me. I know we don't have enough of the important things in common, and in general I just can't imagine it working out, but I still think he's hot. Being alone with him all hot and sweaty in an empty house I really had to fight the urge kiss him. After all the stuff he's been through I really want to look after him too. The fact that he doesn't need me to look after him makes it all the more appealing. But, I shan't go down that road. He's a good friend and I have absolutely no doubt that we'd make better friends than lovers. In other news, I'm really liking John! As a friend of course. It was so much fun having him around, and even though we didn't know each other that well prior to Friday, considering that we spent most of our waking hours together Friday night, and all day Saturday, and Sunday, and doing 'camaraderie/bonding' type things, I really feel like he's now one of my close friends. He feels the same way considering that he sent me a text this morning saying as much. So yay for that! I got a new good friend. Which is so convenient considering he's Luke's boyfriend. I mean let's face it it's always easier to like your friends S.O's, and of course since they are seeing each other I expect it'll be very easy to see a lot of him. He's really as sweet as icing and pure as ivory. I mean this is one seriously nice guy. He's also deeply religious (attends daily masses), but not like all preachy/fundamentalist about it (in fact he didn't talk about it at all except for when we went to church on Sunday, which of course was appropriate), nor is he F-d up about his sexuality. He also happens to be the ex of one of my ex's the one who's possibly still in love with me(?). I guess that has the potential to be awkward, but it's not at all. I never actually saw them together, so again it's just like this fact that I know. Plus I'm both completely over the guy AND I still really like and care about him. So it's all good. Saturday night Scott was discussing William and he said, "the severs have been tied". I said, "huh?", and he casually repeated it. Eventually I pointed out to him that what he meant was "the ties have been severed", and he pointed out that he was tired and that I should leave him alone, LOL. It makes me very sad that he's severed ties with William, but I'm hopeful that William simply won't let it happen. I also know that I have absolutely no intention of losing touch with William despite what he and Luke may think, so he'll have to deal with it. Speaking of severs being tied I also spent a good portion of Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with 'former friend'. As I said, we run in the same circles. In fact he gave me one of my bruises at the paintball party, and I gave him a very nasty welt on his chest. I wonder if the fact that we shot each other is significant? It could be, but probably not, we were all shooting each other, and we played quite a few rounds. I was just as often on his team as not (and we didn't shoot each other when we were on the same team ). Anyway, as I long ago said I'm fine with him being around. He was the one who couldn't stand to be around me. Considering that he did it four days in a row (granted he had social obligations but still) I'm a bit sanguine that perhaps our own 'severs' might be 'tied'. Of course at this point they're probably tied with something akin to wet spaghetti, but nevertheless it's a start. And I have to admit despite everything that's happened I still enjoyed his company. So I really don't want a close friendship with him again, but I'd like a more comfortable, casual acquaintanceship with him. The five of us, me, former friend, Luke, John, and Scott are going to some beach house of one of Luke's business associates this coming weekend (which means depending on when I get back Sunday, William may not be able to get his stuff till next Monday, but he's okay with that). So I'm hopeful that spending even more time together will be good for us. I'm actually kind of concerned about him though. Originally his best friend and the guy's boyfriend were also supposed to come and that would have provided him with a nice buffer, but now they probably won't. Whereas my two closest friends (Scott and Luke) will be there, and so will John who as I said I'm starting to be close with. So it kinda sucks for him and I don't want him to feel left out. I've noticed he has a tendency to shrink into the background when I'm around anyway. Probably because I'm louder and more social and he just doesn't want to get involved directly in the same conversations if he can help it. Still, Luke, Scott, and John are all good friends of his too so I suppose he'll be fine, and if it all works out perhaps the severs will be tied.

Well I really wouldn't give it a second thought if it were someone I were in love with and had been for years. I mean, okay I wouldn't be like, "so you're gonna be a girl, huh? Cool. Pass the salt". I'd think about it, and we'd talk about it, alot, but it would never cross my mind to leave them for such a reason. But that scenario is with someone I've been with for awhile and am in love with AND I'm also presuming that neither one of us was more than subconsciously aware that they might be transgendered. Conversely it's vaguely possible (although much less likely), that I would knowingly fall in love with a male(or perhaps even a female) who was transgendered and we both knew it. The worst situation would by far be if they had known for quite some time and not shared this with me. That might result in the end of our romantic relationship, but that would be about other things than the transgendered issue. If it were a more short-term and/or less serious relationship then there is every possibility that I might ultimately decide to only continue to support them as a friend. Well, that's almost really romantic in a screwed up sort of way. I can't really say how I would react because I will never be in that situation. The only way it would be possible for that to happen to me now is if some sort of totalitarian regime took over that I could not move away from. If that happens, things suck in general and I'll have to work it out then. I will say that I would never want, support, or approve someone having gender reassignment surgery to be with me simply to make it easier or legal. I would much rather face the discrimination and more difficult life, and I couldn't support it because to me the person would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. If in some twisted, weird sort of way it was the only way we could be together in any way at all, and the person really really wanted to do it...well I still think I'd have trouble getting on board, but I would only know in the situation. Yes, exactly. My whole life philosophy is about not being too rigid about things, especially things regarding sex, gender, and relationships, so while I have very clear and definite preferences, I would personally be massively disappointed in myself if I were unwilling to at least give a different sort of situation a try. There's every possibility that it wouldn't work at all, but as Drew indicated I suspect much of that would have to do with changes in personality and the dynamic of our relationship. I can't imagine someone having a gender reassignment surgery and not 'becoming a different person' in much more than just the physical way. So while the physical way itself would probably be something I could adjust to, it would be the non-physical changes that might complicate things. On the other hand I suppose they could just as easily improve things. It would all depend on the specific situation. A couple of other stories about two close friends of mine and their relationships: One friend thought she was dating a guy, and had been for over a year. It was a long distance relationship so they weren't together constantly, but they had been together, and even 'intimate', on many occasions. It turned out that the 'guy' was really a girl pretending to be a guy, and evidently the times they had sex had been with the lights off and the girl had used very realistic seeming 'equipment'. It was very hard for my friend (understandably), but she eventually elected to stay in the relationship (that was about a year and a half ago, they're actually having problems again now, but it's unrelated to the previous stuff). Personally, I very probably wouldn't have because of the deception involved. However, I've never been more proud of her than when she said, "she's still the person I fell in love with". Another good friend of mine was in exactly the type of relationship we're talking about. She's a lesbian and her girlfriend was transgendered. It was something they sort of realized together, and my friend was supportive as her girlfriend became her boyfriend. Ultimately it didn't work out between them, but the eventual demise of their relationship was related to those non-physical changes I mentioned above. He wasn't the same person my friend fell in love with, but it wasn't because the private bits were different. Anyway, that's two somewhat similar situations I personally know of in which the person decided to stay with their mate (at least after the gender revelation). I've never personally known of a situation in which something like this happened and the other person immediately decided to end things. Could it be that it's actually much harder to do that in practice than in theory? That when it comes down to it if you are in love with someone you probably will give the new gender a try? Or is it perhaps because in both cases on some level the other person (the transgendered - or in the other case gender-deceptive person) realized that their loved one was the kind of person who would try and fell in love with them as a result? Probably a bit of both. Anyway, I'm the sort of person who would have to try. Take care all, Kevin

A date is what the two people consider a date. As far as I'm concerned you could sit together on the couch and stare at the wall for three hours and not say a word, but if the two of you decided to define it as a date and consider it as such then it's a date. So I definitely think your above scenario could be a date (and a fun one at that!), but it would depend on how each one interpreted it. Two people who are in a relationship or have already decided that they're 'dating' would obviously consider the above a date. If two friends who regularly spend time together and define themselves as friends, then it certainly isn't. In the more ambiguous cases as far as I'm concerned the best way to handle it is if you think/want it to be a date to do the regular activities but get a tad physical. It could be something as innocent as briefly taking the other person's hand or giving them a quick kiss on the lips (or obviously it could be something less 'innocent'), but something to convey to them that you don't mean for the activities of the evening to be defined in a strictly platonic sense. I don't think 'being physical', or asking the person out, or paying for something, or whatever is necessary for it to be a date as long as both parties have already decided it is indeed a date. I've gone on dates before that were very non-physical, in fact quite a bit less physical (in the affectionate, non-sexual way) than I would likely have spent the evening with a friend. However, they were still definitely 'dates' because we both knew they were. Just my thoughts, Kevin

Well, I voted for "I'm often drunk" ...I like to go out and have fun...so shoot me. I guess on average I really only get drunk about once a week perhaps a bit less. I got drunk Thursday, didn't touch a drop Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, and had one glass of wine this evening with dinner. I may or may not get drunk again this weekend, but it's unlikely it'll happen before then (oh wait, I'm going out Wednesday, so maybe, but still probably not). Anyway, alcohol is something I can take or leave, but I quite enjoy the taste, and I quite enjoy being drunk, so I often opt to "take it". I do it safely however, I don't drink and drive, and I don't drink if I'm not already happy (I.E. I don't use it to deal with sadness or anxiety). I'm also blessed with the ability to get ridiculously drunk and still wake up perky and feeling fine the next day. I attribute this to the insane amount of water I always consume. I drink quite a bit of water independently of drinking alcohol, it's not something I do just to avoid hangovers. I generally can't stand to eat or drink anything without having a glass of water with it, and I always finish the water (and usually a 2nd glass) before finishing the other beverage/food. Take care all Kevin

Happy Belated Birthday, Martin! I hope it was a really awesome one -Kevin

I'm glad you're well, David Take care -Kevin

I don't smoke. About once maybe every 6 or 7 months I'll have one or two when I'm really drunk just for kicks, but I've done that maybe 5 or 6 times in my entire life so you're looking at about 10-12 cigarettes EVER. The last time was about 2 maybe 3 months ago and I really don't see myself wanting to do it again for at least another 3 or 4 months, perhaps never. I always feel like crud the next day. Like I can feel something icky in my lungs, and it doesn't go away for awhile. So unlike 99% of the other things I do I actually regret it on the rare occasions that I do it. I'm big about not doing things I know I'll regret. My philosophy has always been, "get over it, or don't do it". So most everything else I do, even if it isn't really a 'good idea', I have no regrets about. I don't see not regretting the way smoking makes me feel, and I really don't enjoy it except as a really random drunken (come to think of it I've never done it sober) whim, so I certainly don't see myself ever becoming a smoker. That's a very wise strategy I'm kinda disappointed now, because that means I already "knew" you when you started. I always find it more disappointing when people take up smoking after I've met them than if I just meet them already as smokers. Also, man, if I were your boyfriend you'd have had to quit by now or I'd have gone crazy from the guilt. I would find it almost unbearable if I were responsible for someone I love taking up such a habit. Take care all and have a great day Kevin

You know I think you're right! Let's just roll back the clock an hour and give ourselves an hour extra of daylight in the evening and then just leave it alone! A permanent extra hour That is pretty nifty! Oh that is a good point!

Good pics, Robbie LOL, before I read this I saw the picture I thought, "he looks so solemn" Cute pic though If it wasn't that might explain the lack of a smile

Happy Birthday, Demetz!!! A little FYI, thus far I've sort of thought of 22 as the best year of my life, and prior to and henceforth I always thought of it as the 'perfect' age to be! Enjoy it, dude

Happy Birthday, Devin!!!!!! Miss ya, dude, I hope you're having an incredible birthday and may the coming year be filled with much joy and happiness!

Cute picture, Mike!! You always take good pics! You should show them that picture you showed me recently too! It was adorable!

This is how I feel. Especially about celebrities lying about being gay. It drives me crazy! I think someone in the spotlight has more of a responsibility to be out and modeling good behavior than a regular individual. I'm starting to get annoyed that Brandon and Chase are continuing to go to such lengths to hide their relationship. This was the tipping point for me. If I were one of their fans I would be pissed to find out they were gay now. This is why it took Rosie O'Donnell so long to get back on my good side. She just spent way too long in the closet denying it before she finally got her act together and offered something in the way of a visible, respectable lesbian. Clay Aiken is also sufficiently insulting everyone's intelligence such that he'll have to spend considerable time making amends, before I think the gay community ought to be rallying around him. That sounds reasonable to me! My guess is he'll eventually apologize to Chase. I wouldn't think he really needs a reason. I'm always a fan of character development, whether they evolve positively or negatively. Including it always makes for a better story IMO. Just saying someone is 'good' or 'bad' and leaving it at that is rather boring, much better to glimpse of their motivation. I don't think he's "taking advantage" of the band at all. There's no reason why he (or anyone else for that matter) shouldn't feel free to profit from the band in any way that they can as long as it isn't negatively effecting band or immoral in general, and I certainly don't think it is. Him signing a few autographs isn't taking any money from their pockets. If anything I would assume that the fans would like it and that overall it would be mutually beneficial. To me "Taking advantage" of the band, would be doing something that hurt them for profit. Like maybe writing a tell-all book or something like that. This is perfectly innocent as far as I'm concerned, and even if Joe weren't developing in positive ways and was as reprehensible as ever, I still wouldn't really see anything wrong with what he's doing or care that he was doing it. And that would go double for me imagining myself as one of the band members. Ah, but there isn't a dead bush at all! This thought occurred to me as soon as I started reading that section and as such I read very carefully. If I'm understanding it correctly the bush was merely used as a rouse whilst the bomb was being placed into the ground so that to the casual observer it would appear that he was burying a bush and not a mysterious container. I believe the bush was then removed once the bomb was in the ground, and the bomb was covered, and re-turffed to look like the regular ground. At least that's how I read it. It would indeed be an odd occurrence if the name on his statement read 'The Scar' I did enjoy this chapter, especially the parts with Joe, great job, CJ Kevin