Zolia Lily

Wait wait wait wait wait - but... but - where's the rest?!?! ARGH! I'm totally not going to have any fingernails left soon...

LOVE how all the threads are coming together... can't wait to see where they lead!!

I guess it depends a lot on what you're exposed to. I learned Piano growing up, so i feel like a lot of what i now is Piano concertos etc rather than operas / symphonies / string music.... Now where i work we sometimes play classic fm, but it's kind of like "a very selective best of famous classical pieces so no one feels dumb" - they play theme music from movies like Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Carribean! Bizarrest classic fm ever.

A case of THE most blatant ignorance i've EVER come across : A straight co-worker told me he recently had a conversation with his flatmates about STDs, and he raised HIV. His flatmate then casually told him that couldn't have it, since he'd never slept with a black girl. Can straight men get any thicker?!?!? ARGH!!!! On another note, (and i'm sorry if it's way off topic) I started a story a while back that i originally intended to try to publish IRL (not online) where the main character has a scare and turns out HIV neg. Recently, though, I've started thinking maybe i could breathe more life into that story by making him HIV +. The problem is.... i don't want the story to be cliche, unrealistic, to put people off.... What I DO want is to raise awareness, take some of the fear out of it and show that it's not the death sentance it might once have been, as well as saying "it could happen to anyone". My question is: Do you think there's a market for this?

I was talking to a friend recently who studied Psychology, had a brother over in Afghanistan, and is really interested in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as Depression. Was kind of interrogating her about CBT (cognitive brain therapy (?)) and how it works. I know it's supposed to be really good, to help, to allow you to retrain your thinking, but i wasn't sure how you go about it. My ex-psychologist never seemed to ask me anything relevant, and as far as i could tell, never really seemed to be helping or pointing me in the right direction. Simplifying and trying to shorten our discussion rather a lot, what she was saying was that the first step would be learning relaxation techniques and being able to put them into practice in your life as necessary. Then, being able to use them to desensitize yourself in the case of fear, or being able to use them to rationalise and keep from getting into a state in the case of depression. Does this sounds like i've got it right? And - more interestingly - does this correlate to anything you do which helps? Does it sound like it might help?

I'm with you. I started one and couldn't finish it. Also.... I think there's a whole lot of people out there who pick these up because they're "hip" (yes, i did just say that) and have that "understated cool" thing going on... but in that case it makes them try-hards and makes me want to throttle them. Great if you actually enjoy these books - any books! But if you pick up a book because you think it's going to make you look cool? ...no. Just. NO.

My dad is a nice guy, but he's always been a bit... absent. We've always lived in the same house, eaten meals together, gone on holidays together... but he's kind of clueless about our lives. He's just away with the fairies all the time. I don't know how having 2 dads would change things. I mean, it would depend a lot. I could say that i would have had two clueless parents rather than one, but i think that's unfairly stereotyping all men on the basis of my father.... (just a tad.....)

oh LOL! That confused me for a bit. No, i sadly don't have a pantry, but my mum has always wanted one. My character Jake does, in the story i posted recently. He has... a few issues, but I personally love the story. You'll have to read it and see Do so hope you enjoy it, Joe! And Mark - you'll have to hit me up with some of your faves. I can never choose what to read from a list, a title or a one liner, so please let me know which ones are good! xoxo

WOW, nice to hear it! Do you normally not sleep much? URgh... i'm basically a zombie without my full eight hours of sleep!

Stop time! I'd never be late or run out of time ever again!!!

I think this one's over. I don't usually write short pieces, so this one took me by surprise, but I think it's run its course. My sister has OCD - it's not germs that bother her but electricity, fire and death. She used to go around the house a hundred times a night checking every power point. And god, the crying... I have to say, medication never actually occurred to me, but I think Jake probably needed them... Maybe I can just say that Paul doesn't know about that part Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

Thank you gorgeous

Working on something else to post now! I'll probably need some pokes along the way, but it will happen! Thanks for reading!

Thank you! - and high praise, wow!

Was thinking - maybe we should post some links here - any tips or anything anyone has ever found helpful for dealing with depression? I'll never say no to those!

Maybe isolation, maybe another symptom, too. I used to do it, but now i imagine things differently: now, rather than thinking about other people and what they might be saying about me, it's more that i see people on a train and imagine where each of them are off, to and where they live... all sorts of things. Also - maybe it's something about the creative side of us? We write stories, poetry, draw... it's like being creative... I think as long as it's not an anxiety fueled imagining, then it's all good.

George Michael - Faith! LOLS

Paul M. Rexer headed into the kitchen in yesterday’s cotton trunks. He didn’t have any fresh underwear with him. Or clothes. Or much else for that matter. He hadn’t expected to see the cutie from work in the street. Hadn’t expected to go for lunch, or to spend the afternoon hanging out, and certainly hadn’t expected dinner to be part of the equation. And then mind-blowingly good sex to top it off. Who would have thought that quiet, unassuming little Jake Preston was so much fun? Or such a tige

Paul never expected to get on so well with the little cutie from work. Then again, he didn't expect him to turn out to be a crazy stalker, either...

SO sorry i'm still going to be in the UK! Nevermind. Will have to keep an eye on them when I get back home...

I'm sorry to hear it, Bee - and in some way i agree with you. That anyone has to resort to suicide is a terrible thing. Spaces like this are important: to provide places for people to talk, giving people opportunities to find help and to learn to cope and to hope again, before things get so bad that suicide begins to seem like the only option.

Yes, Lily is what I call myself And NEW KITTEN! AWwwWWW!!! I didn't know ! What you say about havng forums like this, safe places to talk, is really true, Roan, but i also think it's important to be able to speak out openly as well. When i was depressed, i used to talk about it to people, and my mum would get really upset. She'd tell me that not everyone needed to know - but i couldn't make her see that to me that was perpetuating the stereotype rather than helping people understand and perhaps even giving someone else the opportunity to reach out. By being open about it, i've had some really interesting conversations - and i've had people who wouldn't normally choose me to talk to about important things come to me and ask questions and try to learn more. (from a recent spate of ads in the Metro in the UK. I quite like them )

LOL that's a fun word! The word "nice". ARGH! What does that even MEAN???

Mark and Joe, you've struck on something I think is really true; thinking things are normal when they're not. It's so impossible to beleive things aren't normal when you don't know any different. Just gotta keep beleiving things get better

Really sorry if this is you, but my biggest pet peeve is SMOKERS!!!