NickolasJames8

Wow, thanks Davey I know sometimes it can feel like Im too opinionated, but I was thinking about it last night and I wonder if it doesnt have to do with the fact that I'm a writer and maybe my points come out too strongly for some people

Awww, thanks Alan I'm glad I make you laugh sometimes, and to be honest, a little turmoil isnt the end of the world for me All it does is make me more determined than ever to rise above

Thanks Dan really it means a lot to me that you thnk that about me and even though we dont agree on a lot of stuff, I like you too (besides, your stories are so damn good)

I've done a lotof thinking about what happened last night on my blog, and after chatting with Kitty for hours about the conflict I had, what led up to it, and how i'm looked at by others, I've decided to reintroduce myself to everyone. First of all, my name is Nick, and I might be the most hated member in the history of Gayauthors.org. The reason why, you ask? I can't say for sure, but I think I have a really good idea, so here goes.... There seems to be this perception about me that somehow I judge people who are different. I think the opposite is true. I've been on this site for over a year now, and I've had friends and lost friends, and one thing always comes out in every conflict I've been involved in.....I have it so good. That somehow, I live a protected life and that my family doesn't have problems, and I always end up being hated on by people who don't have it as good as people think I have it. My first run in was with a poster who identified themselves only as "guest" They called me spoiled, arrogant, self centered and even said that my dad belonged in prison. Well, later I found out that "guest" was actually someone I considered a friend, and that the person hated my guts. When that happened, I was shocked and hurt, but I moved on. I actually didn't have another run in for a while. I made some friends on this site, and one in particular that I really cared about and to this day I still wonder how he's doing. We would go to chat together and it always seemed like people were on his case to change and to conform..someone even told him that he needed to be more like Kurt. I thought that was rude, and he told me that it bugged him. All I could do for him was tell him not to change and that he was a great person already. Then one night he wasn't in the chatroom, and somehow we were all talking about Columbine.....the way I remember it, someone tried to talk me into believing that the kids and teacher who were murdered that day were somehow guilty of inaction, and the next thing I knew, we were debating bullying....well, to make a long story short, I spoke my mind, the way I always have in the past. I knew I had made some people mad at me, including a couple of the GAC's that were in there who were supposed to be moderating and not taking sides. So I left that night. Later that week, I was back in their with my friend, and a debate broke out about a girl who was beaten by her dad on camera. Someone, and I wont say who, said that it was okay for men to hit women. I said it wasnt, and the next thing I know, the people who I had ticked off earlier in the week, including one of the GAC's, all teamed up on me and tried to paint me as a sexist. Anyway, to make a long story short, I let them get the better of me that night, and the next day, I ended up losing the friendship of someone I thought would always be my friend. It hurt, but I kept my chin up and I moved on. I knew that the others were gloating about it, but I figured that at some point they had moved on. So then last night, almost 6 months after that incident, I posted something in my blog that was fairly random. It wasn't a personal attack on anyone in particular, but someohow it got twisted, and an angry ghost from my past came back to haunt me. What makes me mad is that the person seemed most angry about the fact that I'm a "preppy" and he called me some pretty mean names, and I responded by telling him exactly what I thought of him and his friends in chat. I lashed out in a moment of anger, and I'm pissed at myself for that. I should have been mature enough to let it go, but I wasn't. The thing that gets me, though, is that I seem to always be under attack for being a noncomformist. It's like I'm being blasted for being different from people who claim that they don't comform to what society and their parents want them to be. So, I'm going to break this down one time for everyone, and then I'm not going to revisit this topic....... 1. I have my own opinions. They aren't the same as yours, most likely, because they're mine. If they offend you, then you can probably imagine how I feel when I read your opinions. The difference is, I don't thnk less of you for having an opinion of your own, and I don't get mad when you express your opinion. Am I allowed the same courtesy? 2. If I have something to say about someone, no matter who it is, I'll say it. I won't talk behind your back, and I won't start rumors about you. If I think you suck, I'm going to say I think you suck, and then I'm going to say why. I'd rather be honest with you than be a snake in the grass. When I was pissed at Joe and Kitty I said I was pissed at Joe and Kitty, and then I moved on. I didn't sit back in the chatroom and talk shit behind their and Myr's backs like some people like to do. I say what I have to say and deal with the consequences. 3. I don't live in a perfect world and I don't have a perfect life. I have a lot of stress, just like everyone else here. I fight with my dad, and I struggle with my school work, and I get sick and I get worried and I bleed and I have friends that are always on my mind and people I try hard to please, just like everyone else here. Maybe I don't live in your situation, but you don't live in mine either. There's no way for anyone to understand what goes on in my life, just like I can't understand what happens in yours. 4. Coming out of the closet wasn't easy for me, and I'm sure it won't be easy for you either. I knew I was gay before I could even say what gay meant, and I know a lot of people here went through the same thing. I was scared to death when I came out to my dad, and then at school too. Being out wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do in the sixth grade, and it wasn't a walk in the park. So before you assume that I have it so good, think twice about it. 5. I know what it's like to be poor. Before we moved to Virginia, I used to have to go with my dad on his route truck because there was no way he could afford a baby sitter for me, and he worked from early in the morning to late at night, and a lot of nights, I went to bed in his truck and woke up in the morning not knowing how I got to my bed. I'm not sorry my dad worked a little harder to get us out of poverty, and I hope your family never has to struggle, and if they do, then I hope you make it out. 6. I don't judge other people all the time. Let's be 100% honest here.....everyone judges people sometimes. I know it's true because it's human nature. But I don't walk around and point fingers and make assumptions about other people's lives. Now, if I think something someone's doing is stupid, I'll say so. But then I'm judging the act, not the person. I think smokers are below average intellegence, but that's not judging them. That's saying that I've worked out in my head that they deliberately poison themselves even though they know it's going to kill them one day. So, that's what I think. Does that mean I would wish them harm? No way. Anyway, those are just a few things I thought it was important to talk about, because after talking to Kitty and just knowing what has been said to me and even about me in the past, it's obvious that some people don't like me because of who they think I am...so, go to my custom tag right above the pope's picture today and read what it says. Then maybe, just maybe, you won't hate me so much

Can you get any done in class?? I always use my free time to do my hw so I dont have that much to do when I get home

I always have a grip of homework to do too, but I try to do as much as I can at school so Im not sitting up all night trying to get it done. Sometimes I have to not do other things just to get it done, but I know I can catch up on those things once I finish. I didn't get much writing done last week because I had homeowrk up the ying yang, but this week I can take it a little easy....btw, it helps to be on an A/B schedule so you can figure out what has to be done when. Im having a easier time this year with it than I did last year, when I was up till 2 in the morning sometimes doing hw

I agree with it, but the problem is, most Democrats don't feel that way....they act like they'd rather see the terrorists win as long as it means a defeat for the Bush administration.

There's that pesky word again...we should be thanking God (or whoever you happen to worship) that we aren't a democracy...if we were, maniacs like Fred Phelps could have his followers vote that we all follow one religion....that's what a democracy is. It's mob rule. We're a consitutional republic, and that gives us all an equal voice oh yeah, I'm not riled up, David...I'm having fun getting everyone else riled up. You should know that by now

No Nick. They are no where near the middle. Typically political systems fall into a spectrum from left to right. Far Left Communism<===Marxism<===Democratic Socialism (USSR)-------------(Cuba)---------(the Netherlands) the Middle Coalition/Parliamentarian democracy<==>Representative Republic (UK, most of Europe)-------------------------(US) Far Right Oligarchy===>military Hunta====>"Strong-man" rule====>Nazism (business-------(Thailand,Indonesia)---Iraq under Saddam------Nazi Germany interests) In the Middle, countries with democratically elected governments move to the left and right based on election results as the expressed will of the people. They are constrained from going too far in either direction by Constitutional mandates. There is another system of government that doesn't fit in this model: Theocracy. There hasn't been a successful theocracy in recent history but fundamentalists factions of major religions have tried (ie. Holy Roman Empire, Iran under "the Ayatollah). bin Laden and Hezbollah are for the creation of a world-wide Islamic state based on Islamic law. This would be a holy terror to non-Muslims (infidels) who would have no rights and would be subject to execution under Sharia. They are more properly termed Islamists. Bush's characterization of bin Laden, et al as Islamo-fascists is completely erroneous. Theocracies are outside the traditional right vs left spectrum but are very repressive and authoritarian. Punishments are extremely severe, corruption is rampant and anything that contradicts accepted doctrine is fiercely suppressed. Islamists are the kind of religious EXTREMISTS that we had hoped that the world had grown out of. They are fanatically devoted to several causes- among which are the destruction of Israel and the US, motherhood, democracy and apple pie. We have our own extremists like Fred Phelps or Robertson. We're just don't usually elect them to any office with more responsibly than dog catcher. All rhetoric aside, Bush is an Episcopal which is one of the mellower Christian denominations. Although Christian Fundamentalists support and are represented in his administration, Bush constantly irritates them by taking socially moderate positions. There is another type of government that I characterize as the strong-man government. Saddam was a strong-leader because he enforced order by taking dissidents out and shooting them. A strong-man's politics can be either left or right. The strong-man rules by a cult of personality. They are characterized by being a very charismatic leaders that maintain power by appealing to popular opinion (populism). Chavez in Venezuela falls into this model as does Kim Il-Jong. These guys are quite dangerous to their own people and their neighbors as their power is completely unchecked. JS I would think that anyone who wants to kill people who don't believe the same things they do are facists, like Hitler was. Remember the holocaust?

Here's the problem, Aaron....we're really fighting an enemy that wants to kill us.....remember 9-11? They came here and attacked us first, and now we're fighting them in their land. If we weren't doing it there, we'd have to do it here.

There are so many mistakes in what you wrote I hardly know where to start. First of all, we arent a democratic republic...we're a constitutional republic. Second, we weren't founded on principals, we were founded on liberty. The people rule this nation, not one person or a few guys in a room in the Whitehouse. The people elected George Bush twice, and it infuriates the democrats that not only did he stomp Gore and Kerry, but he also has both houses of Congress. Most likely, he'll keep them in November too. You say that we were once the greatest nation on earth, but I think you need to look around...we're still the greatest nation on earth......I wouldn't move to another country for all the money in the world, and even if the terrorists were fighting us right here on our own soil, I'd want to stay here and fight. I'm not saying you wouldn't either, but I bet most of your sissy democrat friends wouldn't be willing to do that

Hi Kitty Here (I mean EU) some people think that the solution should come from the UNO. Unfortunately they are too weak to lead a world strategy and they miss the support of the States. "Si vis pacem, par bellum" To get peace, you must be ready to fight, but fight alone is wrong. Its not a question to be better but to be stronger, and US isnt it no more! Old Bob Excellent points, Bob. My use of the word "better" was in the moral sense. I think many Americans have this belief that we are superior to everyone else, just from our status as being Americans, without having to actually give it thought and back it up with behavior and actions. The result, as you say, is that the US is losing strength as well as its authority to make demands on the world community. I don't think it's hopeless yet. Depending on who we get as the next president, the US could re-establish its credibility on the world stage. (We'll leave the loss of economic power for another discussion so as to stay on the topic of Nick's blog entry ... although I guess it all does work together.) Retaining one's ability to act ethically and morally in the face of one's fear takes courage and discipline. I believe that is a big part of what our greatest religious and spiritual leaders have tried to teach us through the ages. We are morally superiour to all nations anyway...we give our money to everyone, and they bad mouth us in return. Tax dollars that come from Americans are given away to poor countries that ought to be finding a way to exist on thier own, and yet, somehow we're this awful nation with no morals? Give me a break.

So are you saying that we should have just let Iraq invade Kuwait and hold our citizens hostage (he also had American hostages if you do you research, you'll know that ) without acting?? That sounds like something the UN might want to do, or the democratic party would probably want to act like it wasnt happeneing, but it isn't the right thing to do.

How are you going to make sure that only the people who do their work are captured and killed? How do you propose to make sure that everyone with similar-sounding last names, or everyone in a particular village, or everyone that someone else, in the process of being tortured, said might possibly be involved is not rounded up, tortured, and killed in horrible ways, regardless of whether or not they actually are involved? If they're captured on the battlefield trying to kill our troops or with bombs strapped to their chests trying to blow up innocent people, most likely, they're the ones we're looking for

I think he was speaking Dutch

Haha...I need to go to Europe and write songs....where dont have to rhyme But I think it's sweet, too

Do the President of Iran or the leader of Hamas or Osama bin Laden fall in the middle? Those are our enemies, and the people who want to do their work have to be captured and killed until they're stopped.

Last night I got an IM from someone I know who is pretty much against all republicans no matter what the issue is. Usually, I am too, but I think they're right when it comes to defending the US from terrorism. Well anyway, she IM's me about some lunatic named Kieth Olberman, who has some show no one watches on MSNBC. He goes off on the president whenever he has a chance, but intellegent people pay him no mind because he's a loser. Anyway, I hate Bush for his politics. I hate that he wants to give old people prescription drugs and that he says he wants to ban gay marriage even though he's never actually tried. I also hate him because he called the US a democracy, and it isn't. The US is a republic, and only morons and people who don't understand our system of government don't know that. So anyway, Bush pretty much sucks, but he's right when it comes to the war on terror. People who say we shouldnt be in Iraq are fooling themselves. We're in a war against terror, and Saddam Hussein was financing terrorism by paying Palestinian suicide bombers' familes 25000 dollars for them to go into Isreal and blow themselves up. I just wish Bush would have said that was the reason we went. Instead, he said we were going for the WMD's, which Saddam had, but was able to smuggle to Syria before we invaded. Bush is also right that we have a responsibility to get information from terrorists we capture, no matter what we have to do to them. If it comes down to the life of my dad, my stepmom , my boyfriend and the rest of my family or a terrorist not being tortured, you're damn ass right I'm going to pick my family. People who think it's more important to be nice and sensitive to terrorists who want to murder us all for not believing in their sick idea's is a moron, and I'm not sorry to say it. So anyway, my friend is a little mad at me right now because I told her how I felt, and she thinks I'm wrong. I think she's wrong, and I wonder how she could feel that way when she has a husband and kids of her own that the terrorists would love to kill. I guess it just goes to show that when you're dealing with a weak party like the democrats, nothing should shock me.

Mainly Virginia, but sometimes California

Just wanted to point out that what I said way back in the day is about to come true....I think Franks dad is gonna die saving his son from drowning and that Frank wont get the chance to make up with his dad and forgive him, then he'll feel bad and end up in an Oliver like state of mind for the rest of his adolecent years and into his mid twenties. Then, he'll move to Nevada, where he'll meet a nice lady who's grandson just moved to Arizona and fall in love, but she'll already have a man that's a little older than her grandson, but he intends to fight for her. In the end, he loses the fight and has to return to the creepy small town and the lake where his father was murdered by Oliver's dad.

It's never too late Much Love Devin

OMG!!!!!!

It just depends on what kind of mood Im in....I can knock out a short chapter in about an hour or I can do a long one in about two...I just finished a 50KB chapter in about an hour and a half, but I was really focused on it and I had good music playing (a must)

Thanks Anthony I'm glad you liked My Jump Off, and here's a link to Staking My Claim, the sequel that I started...I hope you like it