JOeKEool

Wow!! I'm honored Lugh.So nice of you. All of you are so good to me. Thank you!!

Renee, I like this one. My first attempt was with this one. Lots of fun.

Hey friends, Sleep : I,too struggle. 2 hours is max now. I feel a cold coming on as result,YUCK. I do well on 4. Sleep seems most elusive when most needed. Mark, Analyzing: I could DO in minutes what I spend HOURS analyzing.(and then not doing). Roan,We'd like to read a bit from you. Hope you like my stuff. Pics back up.Yeah. You are beautiful ! I'm cuddling up with you in case you have a nightmare, OK. Not to worry !! Mark, Wow." Ace poet" Thank you ! Lily, I just read a few lines of yours. Phone in the pantry. Can't guess where this is going. Top of my MUST READ list now.(so much for sleep) Hugs and cuddles to all, Joe

She should do a show with Rachael Ray.They would pair together well. And R. R. drunk would have to be funny. She's a star on her own, tho.

I'm glad you have kids around you,Mark. They can sure disperse those dark clouds in a hurry. I had a good day. Ice cream, wrestling practice,science club.I'm a soccer mom.(no soccer tho) Killer breakfast this AM. New post up on my stories.( I lasted a whole 3 days without posting) Good friends on GA. Life has promise. big BIG HUG Mark,Uncle Marky, Papa Joe

Well done ,Bee. never would have seen that coming.

Dom. You have to come back. Just drop in and say Hi,OK. This is the first one of yours I read. Like others have said, my life was on hold 'till I finished. You own real estate in my heart.It requires annual maintenance.

Mark, Those good cries are the best thing you can do.They sure purge a lot of baggage.I had to learn to go with them and not fight back. Had a bit of a cry on waking today. I had a memory that led to an idea that bothers me. I'm short of time ,will explain later. But, do you believe in cosmic connections.? I GET to spend the evening with my little guys.It's Grampa time!. back soon Joe

Hey Com, I just read this one again. So hot. So sweet.

Thank you. I have more.

Mark, Hey. This is even better. I want it to continue.

Mark, you've got me hooked. It is a great story, and well written. I did not expect any less but still,I am very impressed. I don't know if young Adam is as innocent as he appears? HMM.

Well,don't stop.

Hey Mark, This looks promising. Save me a chair. I'm signing up. http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome Thanks Lily, Good idea!!! Mark. Heres an Idea. I picture your handsome Stu lying naked in the grass just beyond the gate......To be continued. P.S. Mark: I read some more of your story.The Legacy. Man, I'm way impressed. You must read and study a lot ,being so isolated. You have a very vivid description of everything.Thats what pulls me into a story. I like a story that does everything but move my eyeballs back and forth. You have that abillity. It requires a good story and good writing. They don't always co-exist. I stole that description from a story somewhere.But it totally applies here. Love you all, Joe

I have some new friends A new place to go Where peace and love tends To be the main show It's a place called GA It's a web site for writers You don't have to be gay Just be lovers, not fighters The stories I've read About love and desire Got me thinking ahead Made me set my sights higher The forums what got me The very first thread I could let myself be Just say whats in my head The bug has now

About my impressions of GA and it's good people

ricky just recommended folic acid.Wiki lists depression and other mental/behavioral conditions.

That's very good. Keep going.

Very good Billy. I love the end.So positive. And strong imagery all the way through. And deffinitely keep writing.

Hi Bee Joe here. Very powerful verse. I get the sense you are believing all the labels others put on you. Please don't take their hate and own it. It is not you .It is them. It will take work and time but please learn to separate from the hate. I LOVE you Bee. Be good to yourself OK. Joe

very funny, you have to laugh

Hi Mark, Yeah this day was a ride but ended well. That's all's well,right. .I had a long deep talk with my friend Mike today. It's been a while since we really talked like that..He has depression,bi-polar,schitzophrenia Whoa, did I spell that right? We joke that he can have Group therapy and be the only one there 'cause of his mult. personallities. He told me don't analyze and question everything.Just accept it and do the best with today. I see the logic. I know when I get manic like this there is gonna be that dastardly plunge back to the depths of hell. If I could analyze why it happens could I not prevent it? He says just know it will happen and deal with that moment. It does give the mind a lot of freedom to just say "Ces't La Vie" about the whole thing. Can you effectively turn off all those functions and just quit analyzing,and stressing,and worrying. One step at a time I guess. I had a good talk with my brother tonight too. We hardly talked for years.At family dinners we chat. Now he calls me every night. The joys of Google Talk. Mostly we still don't really talk.Tonight I told him how my day started.It was just one of those days where your fine and then WHAM, you can't do anything but cry.No reason.Just overwhelming grief and tears.And then it went the other extreme and I was all giddy and stupid.It is easier for me to stay depressed than deal with this crap.Anyway ,my brother was caring and "human" about it.Not his normal self, the big jerk.HA HA. Oh, and with Mike today I "played the gay card" so to speak and he was cool about it.It just is part of you and you have to accept it he said. Not A bad day at all. Mark,I know you're making progress. You have a lot to overcome. It will take some time. What do you think of the idea of just accept how things are. Deal with "this" moment.And ignore the past and ignore the future. I don't know .Is it realistic? A cop-out? I don't know. You could walk one step out the gate today and two steps tomorrow and gradually work your way out. If I thot I could get there.I would challenge you to meet me for coffee at the nearest cafe ,say one year from today. Maybe your Stu could hold you to something similar. I do know how you feel,though. I seldom leave my house before dark. I'd rather not deal with people. I wouldn't go out at all if possible. Iknow you have a deeper issue than just me feeling self contious or anxious.You have a vast unknown to confront someday. Man,I'm holding your hand,OK. "I get Bi Polar when I get drunk. I put on a white bear suit and have sex with men and woman"(from a comedy channel stand-up)

I made some relalizations tonight. I don't know if it means anything. I'm going to put it on paper. The first time i had a "episode" with mania,when I first started writing poetry,I was deeply involved in the "A Rent Boy Named... blog. The second time,last spring or summer,I was again, deeply involved in a story/stories and a blog.( It was My Gay Stories.com. The story that I liked the most( and I'm still waiting for the next chapter, HINT_HINT Terry) is Protecting David . Highly recommend .)Digressing-the point is again I was emotionallyinvolved in this story. At present, I'm in,having,doing? a third experience of a hyper or manic mood swing .Suddenly writing again.And,I'm heavily involved in a web site. What I can't pinpoint is a chicken or an egg enigma . Does my mood improve because I'm involved in the story / forum / blog activity? Do I get involved in the activity because my mood has improved? So web site/story stirs emotions. Emotions stir mood upswing. Mood upswing prompts desire/ability for poetry. Mystery solved!!!! Next!!! Edit: Wow. Do I over analyze or what? It should have been obvious but I didn't see how things were connecting.And even so, I still just have to deal with today and quit analyzing why everything is.Neph said it -it is what it is -let it be- That relates to many things. Edit:Today got really rocky for a while.I cried on a strong shoulder.Thanks Ricky. The day ended really REALLY well tho.A gourmet pizza of a day Thanks for being you,all of you here, Joe

I found a poem tonight that included him and it was Rowan .Poor memory here. Edit: But that means there IS only one Roan. No one has to die.

Hey Mark, I got over and scoped out your albums .Those are some awsome cats.And I fell in love with Max.Love -at-first-sight is def real. Plus I find your Stu very cute.Very. Keep him close . Hi,Stu if you're looking.You got a good guy here.Keep him loved. So,let me add some things up. You live off-grid and self-sufficient. Lovely managerie of pets and pigs .OH man,that woodlot is magical. An UBER cute guy to love. Fresh food .Fresh water. I don't know how you do it. You're doing allright ,,just hang in there and make small steps.The mind can heal from unbelievable trauma. Give it all time.And do enjoy and embrace all the good that surrounds you. I was late for work tonight ( an hour+ late ) because i was surfing around and exploring everything here.The Zen mode took over and time got away. I just never run out of new stuff. I have'nt had time to read any content. I'm catching up on the forum and blogs and learning my way around. Later all