asamvav111

Me being a sappy romantic...

Longing It’s raining so hard up here, like someone has opened a floodgate in Heaven. I miss you, my love. I wish we could just be in bed entwined together, me in you and you in me, You are whispering in my ear while I nuzzle into your neck, Without a care in the world… Just you and me. Why is life so cruel? Why do we have to wait for all the good things in life? Why is that two souls self-realized and revelling in their love, have to wait for mandates of petty governments, while mandates of Heaven declare them to be one? I sorely miss you with each raindrop that touches the ground, Tuning into my agony they scatter upon the face of earth. How long till I feel the sweet breath of my eternal song upon my lips? How long till the veil of death separates me from my sky, my life? Had I ever lived without my sky? So, how long till the veil disappears and the Heaven smile upon us? I miss you, my love, and your eternal embrace. Will my ethereal Angel be with me or shall the fires of Hell consume my happiness? Angels are, but Lord’s smile upon His creation. When shall my Grace smile on me? Nay! He has indeed in His most merciful joy, given me a glimpse of my protector and I am enamoured since. Thus, my devotion henceforth is solely based upon redemption, so that the Gates of Heaven, that bar me from my lover, open in His infinite mercy and may my soul be saved; A pact sealed with a kiss in the face of the Lord and His congregation. Amen. 14/06/2012 ©asamvav111

Human beings are the worst animal species on the planet. I don't really see the point of calling us intelligent evolved sentinent beings. With all the great advancements in science we still have not learnt to live in peace with nature. All we want is MORE. More food, more luxery, more pleasure, more out of everything. Our greed is our death. I am ashamed to say my family too owns a few things made out of ivory.

Christian school>Church camp Gives new meaning to the word, "Revealations". Hope you received enough rapturous experiences as well. I agree that, your true journey towards self-identity begins only when you start to accept yourselves. That is the necessary first step to the million miles. I had accepted my attention towards the same sex at fourteen. I tried to act cool in public for a couple of more years, but then I regressed. I am a homosexual and I am proud of it. Given the same circumstances I would not want it any other way. I am smart and talented. I am ambitious as hell. I can hold on my own. And much of it comes from my acceptance of my sexuality. I know it sounds vague to my fellow queerlings here in GA, but it is the truth and the whole truth. Don't expect to be loved if you can't love yourself. That is something I have learnt the hard way. I came out officially to my parents after I turned 21. They weren't really shocked. My mom said, she always knew. Well, moms do know everything. That's in the job description. But, more importantly my family accepted me wholeheartedly. No animosity at all. Their attitude has not changed towards me for a second. I know, a lot of us aren't this lucky. And I do count my blessings. But, I strongly believe, had I not stood my ground, they would never have yielded. And that strength I found in me, is through my confidence in my sexuality.

Okay I will make a civilized response later... right now... lemme ... just.... hehehehehohohohogheeehehehe....

Happy Birthday! God bless! May the new year be filled with love, compassion and care! Hugs and Chocolates!

This post is damn poetic... did anyone notice? A complete poem in itself! I don't know your problems or your position; but, I just wanted to say, hang on, things will get better soon! Hugs and chocolates.

I just saw this today. I am so very sorry for your loss. May Lord grant his soul eternal respite. Hugs.

Hey!

These five men are part of the youth faction of the ruling party. They are clearly identified. They happen to be university students. I assure you none of this is an unnatural occurrence in this part of the world where human life is worth less than water. Had 20 children been killed in Dhaka, nobody would have batted an eyelash. The new thing is the lack of response of the judiciary. Now, if I am killed by someone in my own home without any eye witness, what are the chances of my death being tried in court? None! I have no higher connections thus quite unimportant to anyone. Who will give me security? As I said before, I don't care if the rest of the world is going to hell. All I care about is my subsistence. And the society, the modern civilization is failing me.

You are so true. I just wish I could get away from all this. Shut it away in some way. Just a few days ago, as a part of a Protest of a particular political party here in Bangladesh, a young man was stabbed in cold blood multiple times in an open market during daylight by 5 men. This particular man did not even affiliate with the political party in question and was a Hindu (it is a Muslim religious fanatic right wing extremist party with well known terrorist and crime links). The victim ran through the open market place, people just kept looking. There was media present who captured the whole scene on video including the ruthless attack and the chase and the faces of the assailants. A rickshaw puller who is an illiterate man of the lower socioeconomic group and happened to be on the scene and rescued this man and took him to the nearest hospital, where he was declared dead on arrival. The whole video has been shown on TV multiple times. Till now no action has been taken on the assailants. Only today, one of them is called up for questioning.

Meaning?

Happy Birthday!

I know I MUST write, else I’ll go mad. So, I am writing this. As you all well know yesterday, a mad man carrying a gun entered a school full of children in Connecticut and killed 20 children and 7 adults. The person in question later killed himself as well. One of the teachers of the school was his mother, who was the target of this seemingly volcanic eruption of emotion that had led to the killing spree. The man was mentally ill. And he had access to a semiautomatic rifle that was used to fire a hundred rounds of bullets on CHILDREN. God bless America, the land of the righteous and free. On another front, we had lost a dear friend and fellow comrade, Roan as he was affectionately called, to his long standing sickness. Roan was a good man, a horse worthy of winning any race. An honest loving friend that we all cherished is lost. I had communicated a very few times with him, that too after his sickness had set in and when he had become irregular in GA, his updates dark and full of angst. Yet, even on those few times when we exchanged words, I always felt his warmth coming through. I can only imagine what he had been at his best. May Lord rest his soul in peace. Two seemingly disconnected faces of utter tragedy have opened the floodgates of emotions for me. Long repressed, full of dirt and slime they now flow unabashed. I know the world does not care. It does not matter how many flowers wilt in the fields, how many horses die in the stables, the unstoppable grind of the wheel will continue to crush our bones. “Civilization” as we know it, will continue as always. Gaza will continue to be bombarded. The children of the poor will continue to be sold in the open market, their meat herded into prostitution or worse. The Himalayan belt will become more safely inhabited by a few more drug refineries and farmers will continue to produce truckloads of Ganja and Opium for those refineries. Africa, with each passing hour, will continue to turn into zombie-land thanks to XDR Tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS and Famine. And pharmaceutical companies will keep on riding the bull of profit with the exploitation of the lifesaving drugs that if used properly can save billions. The politicians and other scum of the earth will keep on sucking our marrow till our minds rot. Ashes to ashes… I don’t know, what I want to convey with my words. I am not writing with a conscious goal tonight. Just absolute DISGUST! This wonderful modern civilization of ours, is the pinnacle of filth and hypocrisy and shamelessness. Never before were we so self centred and sure of our infallibility as of now. And that is our doom. Our pride in our civility and refined manners is going to bring us crashing down to the abyss of utter destruction. All religions talk about sins and perversions and appointed punishments for those, in a place we will go after our happy time in this mortal world, the world of our vain civilizations, of dead morals. But, Hell is not in some other life, where an unknown deity administers punishments depending upon our arbitrary demerits according to a dogmatic view. Hell is very much around us. Our ideals, our actions, our expectations, our creations, our perversions, our attitudes… everything is a constituent of our very own personal HELL. And to live is to suffer. Day after day, we rot in our own living carcasses, our souls long dead. We call it high-end living. At least for once, I implore you all, come out of your damned shells and declare your hypocrisy. If you are going to keep living in expense others' misery, the least you can do is to accept your nature. Let go of the honeyed tongue. Those, who relentlessly drink your poison, can survive without it. I am one of you fella’s! I love the way I live, and I don’t care a damned fig about what happens to our sorry existence, how the social morality washes away ever so slowly into oblivion. And I refuse to put a gold leaf on it. I don’t care about anyone or anything else other than my own sorry arse. And I am proud of it. Now, it’s your turn. Stop judging. Come off your high horse and confess your crimes, NOW. But, I know, none of you will. Go rot in your putrid hopelessness. Adios.

Looks like you have got yourself a closeted gay friend. Whether he loves you or not, is for you to decide. I can't help you with that. But, I need you to remember one thing; if he does want to get intimate with you and you let him, it will be a loss on your side if it is without love! I have nothing against meaningless sex, but, I think your first time should be with someone who loves you. Are you sure this is not just a curious guy who wants a taste of gay love making? And God forbid if he is like that, then he will have no intention of a long term relationship, which I think you are counting on for future. Sit down and think it over before you go another step with this guy. Is this what you want? A one night stand or a spring fling? Or is it a lasting relationship you are after? Then what are your expectations from this guy? Make sure you hear his end of the story as well and vice versa. And one last thing, a secret love affair, is a very sweet and exciting experience, yet equally strenuous and draining to maintain. Do remember that. I know, I have put more questions in front of you than answers, but, you are young and you need to consider these first. Hope I have not turned you completely pessimistic. Hugs and Chocolates.

Go for it Andy! He is legal!

Holly molly! Why number 4? They were just having fun! Fuck the code! Anyways, number 1 is my way! Or may be number 3, just to piss them off! lol!

hmm... extra dirty for your standard, had a rough night? First of all, amazing chapter! The emotions were so palpable. I especially loved the restroom confrontation scene, that one is so classic. Keep writing! Hugs and Chocolates!

He He! Thank you!

Thank you!

Tears trickle down those rosy cheeks As I watch by the cold weather outside And the cold feelings of the old heart I betrayed Watching me becoming a prisoner of my own love I cast my net slowly waiting in silence With haunting patience for the catch I await your return. ©asamvav111 An old creation, 2005.

I know you can and you will. We are always here for you. Hugs and Chocolates.

After a long long hiatus I wrote this. I had stopped writing in English for quite a while. May be I will start again, maybe not. In the meantime, enjoy!

Writing about love is like writing about pain; When did it start, how did it progress, did it affect your day to day activities, How did you cope with it, pills, meditation, diet… so on and so forth? Yes, Love has indeed brought a lot of heartache. But, is that all it had to offer? What about the nicer times, the times when we flowed like music, an eternity in peace. That time when in the dead of the night, you came by just to say, “I love you”. The times that we shared in the whirlwind of romance, dizzy and content. Those are the times; we stood side by side and watched the sun set in the distant horizon. In the eye of the turbulence, in our oasis of bliss, everything is silent. ©asamvav111