mayday

Great chapter. I have met people like Rachel and I do not know what to do about them, how to make them see reason and change their attitude. Another cliffhanger. Grrr

Ugh! I am not fond of cliffhangers! Great and convincing chapter. Thank you for giving us this story!

For me, this is one of the worst moments in this story: "Come, we shall please each other. You will beg that I should take you."

I remember Ahmet thinking that he will never be free from himself. But in the same chapter we can read that he cannot reveal being gay at home: "I know I cannot stop you by telling anyone. [...] I would go home to my family; tell them I grew tired of this life and left your employ. You know them and where I come from. I would become a baker, like my father and work there. I have no reason to talk of this place or you. [...] As well, what I am is an abomination. Others knowing about you means they learn about me, and this would guarantee my death. No, I will hide myself in my family, hide that part of myself from them." He will have to marry a girl. And if his family is traditional, they will find him a bride quickly. Probably faster than Matt can find him. I just hope that by seeking Ahmet out Matt won't out him.

I have just remembered this bit: '"Please, calm down. I'm sorry. I'm going to take care of you. You're safe here. Look at me. Look at me, Matthew." It was an order. Matt did as he was told and felt calmer.' I wonder is he now conditioned to obey when he hears an order, Tim? Or is this compartimentalizing? Yet, afterwards he feels calmer and can judge the look in Andy's eyes.

I have the feeling that Andy is very lonely and longs for a partner who shares his life and house and can feel happy on his island. He has often thought about Matt since seeing him being sold and written about him. Rescuing him is something like salvation for him and he could overcome his guilt in watching without doing what he felt he should do, which would simply mean he would have been killed. I guess his thoughts are very much involved with Matt and Matt seems very likeable to me. It will be a while before Andy has sorted out his feelings. He seems to be on the way of winning Matt's trust. And that is a huge step. I also find the fact that Andy will accompany him to London important. And I hope that Matt won't have any traumatizing experiences on the way. I would not like to read that Matt went on such important matters on his own. Perhaps Matt might find that Andy would also make a good travel companion when going to Turkey. As hard as this is for Andy, to me he seems to be doing exactly the right things for Matt.

Oh, I did not see this coming. Turkey? Ahmet sounds like an Arab name to me. How will he ever find him? Only if Ahmet told him more about himself, which is perfectly possible. If he finds him he may cause upheaval because either Ahmet has to reject him in order to avoid suspicion in his family or he will have to get him out of there. Coming out as a gay man is deadly in most Muslim countries. And the threat may be worst within the family. Matt seems estranged from his mother. Or he misunderstands her. After losing her husband she has also lost her son and - much worse - without having any idea why or how. I cannot help but imagine that she will welcome him back with open arms. Or rather - I do not want to imagine anything else. But maybe she would not accept a gay son? We know very little about her. How open can he be with her? Will she believe that he had not way of contacting her until he arrived in Andy's house? I can understand the reaction of the police officers but - like Andy - I only thought about getting Matt out of the clutches of those people. And the police might have caught those smugglers of human cargo and broken a link in that chain of cruelty. so their reaction is more than understandable. I have the feeling that Andy has hit on the only argument that will induce Matt to accept the money by pointing out Matt's role in the writing of a book which sold well. I see a lot of risks for Matt in trying to find Ahmet. Simply being among people who resemble his former owner may be a risk. But perhaps doing what he wants is something he really needs. I guess he needs some sort of closure with his lover. If Andy wants to have Matt's trust and friendship he has to let him go and come back from his own free will. Hard to stomach.

He is to Maeve: "Maeve watched the young man struggle. The fear and misery he felt were evident and marred his handsome face." Chapter 13

Andrew went to the police and spoke with them after the auction (Chapter 9). If they have a record of the information he gave them it might help him. I think if they took the ferry and crossed Scotland by car, they might get to Edinburgh without papers, but I am not sure. And Matt needs to be with Andy a little longer, doesn't he?

Yes! And thank you first and foremost for this extra chapter today! I love it. It is great to see Matt emerge from his hiding place. We now get an idea what kind of person he is, apart from his incredible strength to survive such terrible ordeals and degradation. I now see a chance that he may heal in the end, however bad his scars may be. He keeps his promises. He is ready to help and contribute. He does not want to be a burden on anyone. He must be a great judge of character to be able to see through Andrew faster than the latter sees through himself. Andrew has feelings for Matt. Maeve is a wonderful woman, wise and gentle. Matt can trust her. And he does so already. We see it when he decides to take a slice of cake and much better later when they are in the kitchen together. If he is as good looking as you imply, Tim, I could fall for such a person myself. How can Andrew not?

There is nothing to be done in that part of the world, when a storm is raging, especially with a small boat, and weather forecasts up there are not perfect. What was Andy to do? Send them home again? Yes, he might have put Maeve in danger, but was there any other option? And even if he had been home, I do not imagine him to be the kind of man who scares away criminals.

I guess that Maeve has no idea what horrors Matt is fearing. But he does not know her and he has reason not to trust the kind ones who "protect the monsters". But I think Maeve is wise enough to know that words alone won't alleviate Matt's fears. What might help him for the time being would indeed be a longer storm to let him explore the house and to see that there is no torture chamber as Kanaan's. Or maybe he comes across Andrew's book on modern slavery - which might surprise him. But you are spot on, drsawzall: This wind-swept island in very dangerous waters with strong currents must feel like a new imprisonment to Matt. The sea there is much too cold to swim in, even in high summer.

Oh, and thank you for giving us a glimpse into Matt's past. I have only read this chapter twice so far.

Brilliant. Unlocked doors without locks, good food, a friendly woman, a storm outside to make sure he has a quiet night. Choosing clothing for himself for the first time in years. It may not seem much, but baby steps towards freedom and yourself are very convincing in my eyes. What a contrast to the years before in Matt's life! Will his night be calm or will he be plagued by fears and nightmares? How can he believe that he has nothing to fear from now on but his own demons? We've had so much 'black'. Thank you for giving us some 'white'.

I have forgotten two things: The wild overgrown garden and Matt's thoughts and feelings there are beautiful. Am I wrong or is this the first time we see him in relatively "natural" surroundings? It makes me think of the storm on Andy's island. Robert seems to know about Doreen's use of the shower in stressful situations and he is keen on being there for her. Great family scenes.

Kanaan's sparing Ahmet surprised me. But my heart aches for him having to go to a future in surroundings where one bad misstep will get you killed. And I felt relieved that we got a glimpse of Matt to see that he is not catatonic or destroyed in his soul. He is still expecting to find friendly people. I would not have thought that possible. There is now hope he may recover. Maeve and Andy's parents are a wonderful and strong support group to him. And in such fraught situations, where the one major decision cannot be right before the law and before our conscience we need friends we can rely on. His mother - what dreams had she given up? Her reasoning for supporting her son are so touching. Human trafficking in Northern Africa does not suprise me. The refugees from the South are easy prey and without protection or rights. But it is said to happen over here, too, as well as in the refugees' centres in the UK, where a lot of children and teenagers disappear. Your story paints a reality that is hard to bear, my friend. Thank you for not sparing us.

Hi Tim, I am really happy that I could make you smile this morning. I am smiling myself while reading your response. I have been following your chapters and poems as ever but I had lost my password and - ugh - only today have I discovered what to do about that, so that I finally could post a response. I was gripped from the start and have read your chapters several times, discovering new details and marvelling at your ability to convey Matt's and Andy's feeling in such different and horrifying situations at every reading. Matt's ordeal has not been easy to digest. I had to swallow each time I read about him. And I know he still has a long way to go to be himself again. Which is at once terrible --- and promising for us readers as it may mean that we will have more chapters to look forward to. I am being quite callous and selfish here, I know... I am also relieved to find that - hopefully - there is an out for Dante, whose fate until being bought on the market is one you know more than enough about to convey to us convincingly. I would also like to know about his future. I am not sure I want to read about Ahmed's (if he has one), but he is part of this story, and I am bracing myself as I write... Saturday - that's just about bearable... Thank you!

Thank you for this story, Tim. I am deeply moved by Matt's fate and Andrew's feelings. I'm also grateful for your respect for Matt's privacy by not letting us be present too long while his owner is gratifying his urges. What we imagine is bad enough. How can anyone recover from such terrible years? As ever you are making it hard to wait for the next chapter. Your writing is simply too compelling. And I would love to know more about Dante, too.

As much as I enjoyed reading about Sandra's immense progress and Owain's reaction, it was the last part which I loved most, how honest Owain is with himself and his own feelings. I really loved that.

Beautiful chapter, beautiful ending. What more can you wish for? The only trouble I have with this chapter is that it is the last.

Dylan still has a lot of issues to overcome, but somehow I'm sure he will. The kids are a delight. And everybody learning something new - nice chapter!

What a fitting end to a wonderful story. Thanks, Gary, for sharing it with us. I am sorry to see it ends here, but we know all we need to know about our two heroes. All's well that ends well.

Great chapter! Like Parker, I enjoyed that immensely. First bathing in the two men's closeness and love and then having a true friend coming to ensure their privacy and - in the end - safety. Just great! Thank you, Gary, again, for a very enjoyable read.

Beautiful!

Now we know. And we know why Jubal does not trust. Interesting, isn't it that it is all strangers who abuse him and his situation? At least to me, it seems to be so. Forget about his father, though. Even Jubal does not seem to reckon him in. It is always the same: prejudice and the fear of the unknown... I admire Jubal for surviving his ordeals. I admire Lucas for letting Jubal set his own pace. That can be soooo difficult... Thank you, Gary, and happy new year to you!