sandrewn

January 21st 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Babinden (Bulgaria, Serbia) Christian feast day: Agnes Demiana (Coptic Church) Fructuosus John Yi Yun-il (one of The Korean Martyrs) Meinrad of Einsiedeln January 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Errol Barrow Day (Barbados) Flag Day (Quebec) Grandmother's Day (Poland) Lady of Altagracia Day (Dominican Republic) Lincoln Alexander Day (Canada) National Hugging Day (United States) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Day of Sanctity and Protection of Human Life International Playdate Day International Sweatpants Day Mariachi Day National Bakers-Crafters-Makers Day National Cheesy Socks Day National Conscious Uncoupling Day National Granola Bar Day National Hug Your Puppy Day National Max Day One-Liners Day Own Your Own Home Day Thank Your Mentor Day World Religion Day World Snow Day National Hyaluronic Acid Day Soup Swap Day Sushant Singh Rajput’s Birthday Freddie Tomlinson’s Birthday Aleksa Safiya’s Birthday Thomas Stonewall Jackson’s Birthday Paul Allen Geena Davis ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sun Jan 21st, 2024 - Fri Jan 26th, 2024 World Kiwanis Week Sun Jan 21st, 2024 - Sat Jan 27th, 2024 Healthy Weight Week Hunt for Happiness Week Kiss a Shark Week National School Choice Week Fun Observances Squirrel Appreciation Day January 21 is Squirrel Appreciation Day, a day to acknowledge the role that squirrels play in nature and the environment. It is an unofficial holiday started by North Carolina wildlife rehabilitator Christy McKeown in 2001, as a way to encourage people to put out seeds and nuts for these cute rodents. Almost Everywhere Squirrels are found almost everywhere on Earth. They are native to Africa, the Americas, Europe, and Asia, and have been introduced to Australia. In North America, the western and eastern grey squirrels are very common. In Europe, the red squirrel is more common, but its numbers in Great Britain and Ireland are decreasing. The decrease in the red squirrel population is linked to the introduction of the eastern grey squirrel from North America. Found in Different Sizes Squirrels can range anywhere from a few inches to a few feet long. The smallest known squirrel species, the African pygmy squirrel, are on average only about 3 inches (7.62 centimeters) long. The largest squirrels, the Indian giant squirrel, can be as long as is 3 feet (1 meter). A Scurry of Squirrels A group of squirrels is called a dray or a scurry, though the term dray or drey usually refers to a squirrel nest. How to Celebrate? Leave out food in your yard for squirrels, but make sure you research what is considered nutritious food for squirrels. Learn more about squirrels by watching documentaries on the rodents, visiting your local natural history museum or by just observing the squirrels in your yard. Change your desktop and social media profile pictures to an image of a squirrel. Did You Know… …that their front teeth grow at the rate of six inches per year? *** Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer. *** Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll. *** Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions." *** Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her? Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt! Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes. Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring? *** Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it? Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry. Daughter: Dad… Daughter: Dad… Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth *** I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123. *** Because my wife and I are flea market dealers, we usually carry stacks of $1 bills. Not long ago, we had lunch at a restaurant and paid the check with singles. As our waitress collected the ones, she sized up my 70-year-old wife and said, "You had a good night dancing last night, huh?" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Lightning kills an entire football team | The Independent | The Independent *** *** Coffin birth - Wikipedia *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

I so.... want to ask 'This Question' about, presidential candidates, but know that it(politics and all) would get censored, so I won't.

That montage only referred to the 1922 Little Rascals. Robert Blake, then known as "Mickey Gubitosi" only started with the Little Rascals in 1939. Robert Blake (actor) - Wikipedia Did Robert Blake portray a role in “Little Rascals”?

His name, Alfalfa, popped into my head as soon as I saw the picture. Here is a bit of nostalgia and a quick history lesson: THE LITTLE RASCALS (OUR GANG) 1922 Cast THEN AND NOW 2023, All the cast members died tragically!! - YouTube

* One has to have hair there in order to have any kind of a cowlick problem(there). Sigh.............

Nope! Hell No!! My gut reaction would of been to smash his ear, to destroy the perceived threat, in order to save his life!! Afterwards, my possible actions might of been: 1st - A stiff drink(or two) to calm me down and prevent a possible heart attack. 2nd - A lengthy rant & rave, followed by a comment(or two) on his poor choice of jewellery and finally, a monetary bribe to prevent his thoughts of suing me for battery and destruction of his property.

January 20th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Armed Forces Day (Mali) Army Day (Laos) Christian feast day: Abadios Blessed Basil Moreau Eustochia Smeralda Calafato Euthymius the Great Fabian Manchán of Lemanaghan Maria Cristina of the Immaculate Conception Brando Richard Rolle (Church of England) Sebastian Stephen Min Kuk-ka (one of The Korean Martyrs) January 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Heroes' Day (Cape Verde) Martyrs' Day (Azerbaijan) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Camcorder Day Guru Gobind Singh Jayanti Inauguration Day International Day of Acceptance National Charlie Day National Cheese Lover's Day National Claudia Day National Coffee Break Day National DJ Day National Judy Day National Sebastian Day National Use Your Gift Card Day Take A Walk Outdoors Day National No Phones at Home Day National Buttercrunch Day Skeet Ulrich’s Birthday Tyler Herro’s Birthday Evan Peters’s Birthday Emma Marie’s Birthday David Lynch’s Birthday Blueface’s Birthday Bill Maher’s Birthday Buzz Aldrin Rainn Wilson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sat Jan 20th, 2024 - Sat Jan 27th, 2024 International Snowmobile Safety and Awareness Week Fun Observances (2) Penguin Awareness Day January 20 is Penguin Awareness Day. The day helps raise awareness about the flightless birds whose numbers are dwindling by the day. The day also aims to bring international focus on the conservation of penguin habitats. Southern Hemisphere Natives Penguins are aquatic birds native to the Southern Hemisphere. There are about 20 known species of penguins, the largest of which are the emperor penguins, the lead stars of the documentary, March of the Penguins. The smallest known penguin species are the little penguin found in the coastal areas of Australia and New Zealand. Flightless Birds It is thought that the black and white coloring of the penguins is a camouflage which helps them to hide from underwater predators. While penguins are great at diving and swimming, they cannot fly even though they are considered to be part of the bird family. They use their wings as flippers to move quickly underwater. How to Celebrate? Learn more about these majestic birds and their habitat and try to understand how human activity may be affecting them. If your local zoo has penguins, why not take a trip there to spend some time observing them? Watch movies with penguin characters and documentaries about the lives and habitats of penguins. Did You Know… …that the fastest penguins – the Gentoo – can swim at the speed of 22 miles or 35 kilometers an hour? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Soup Swap Day Host a soup swap on the third Saturday of January to celebrate Soup Swap Day. Soup Swap Day is a day to spend quality time with family and friends and share some homemade soup with them to take home. Started in Seattle Started by Knox Gardner and his friend in Seattle, Soup Swap Day became an unofficial holiday celebrated all over the United States in 2006. Today, the holiday is celebrated by soup enthusiasts in many other parts of the world. Healing Broth Soup is often given to people when they are sick or nursing a cold. Chicken soup is especially used for its soothing qualities. It makes sense, broth made from bones and vegetables are very nourishing and easily digested. How to Celebrate? Host a soup swap. Have friends and family bring homemade soup in containers. Make sure everyone brings the same number of soup filled containers as guests. Share soup with everyone – each guest should leave the same amount of soup as they come with. Did You Know… …that the earliest known record of humans eating soup dates back to 20,000 years ago? *** Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A: A cockerpoodledoo! *** The Unathletic Camper’s Baseball Glossary Baseball bat: a wooden or 
metal bar that can easily fly out of someone’s hands. Foul ball: a moment when you think, Holy @#$%, I got a hit! Babe Ruth: someone who people tell you was also overweight. Right field: a quiet place where you can sit for long stretches and play with dandelions. Until suddenly you hear a clang and some shouting and immediately understand life is about to get much harder. Fly ball: when the sun drops 
a boulder on your head. Shortstop: a position that 
involves mostly ground balls 
and that you think maybe you can play. Line drive: the reason you can’t play shortstop. Innings: the amount of time 
left before afternoon snack, 
divided by nine. *** Honest Brand Slogans Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by 
a corporation.” Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.” CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.” Gillette: “We’re just going to keep adding blades.” ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.” Hot Pockets: “Every bite is a different temperature.” *** Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** (Update on Jenny, sad news to report) Mourning for the internet wandering mare Jenny: Well-known horse put to sleep - World Today News Some pictures to remember her bye Horse Goes On A Walk Alone Every Day For 14 Years, Receives Pets And Treats From Residents | Bored Panda *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

January 19th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Bassianus of Lodi Henry of Uppsala Marius, Martha, Audifax, and Abachum Mark of Ephesus (Eastern Orthodox Church) Pontianus of Spoleto Wulfstan, Bishop of Worcester January 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Confederate Heroes Day (Texas), and its related observance: Robert E. Lee Day (Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia and Mississippi) Husband's Day (Iceland) Kokborok Day (Tripura, India) Theophany / Epiphany (Eastern and Oriental Orthodoxy), and its related observances: Timkat, or 20 during Leap Year (Ethiopian Orthodox) Vodici or Baptism of Jesus (North Macedonia) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Artist as Outlaw Day Brew a Potion Day Good Memory Day Gun Appreciation Day International Fetish Day National Annie Day National Lucy Day Tenderness Toward Existence Day World Quark Day Mac Miller’s Birthday Janis Joplin’s Birthday Edgar Allan Poe’s Birthday Dolly Parton’s Birthday Paula Deen’s Birthday Lil Scrappy’s Birthday Katey Sagal Robert E. Lee Pete Buttigieg Fun Observances (2) Tin Can Day On January 19 crack open a can of sardines because it's Tin Can Day. While the origins of Tin Can Day are unknown, this unofficial holiday probably wants to honor the humble tin can and to raise awareness about recycling them. A Revolutionary Invention Invented in early 1800 by French inventor Philippe Henri de Girard, the tin can revolutionized the military and the world of exploration – soldiers and explorers could now travel long distances without worrying about food supplies or the shelf life of their food. A Pantry Staple Despite a few early hitches – tin cans were sealed using lead for a number of years causing lead poisoning - tin cans have now become a staple in most pantries. Food preserved in tin cans does not spoil for long durations and can be easily transported. Despite the name, tin cans in use today are not completely made out of tin - they are usually made of steel, steel coated with tin, or aluminum. How to Celebrate? Celebrate Tin Can Day by learning the history of the tin can. Make your meals using canned food only. What about some tin can crafts? Maybe bake a cake in a can or use a can to make a portable phone for your kids? Collect all the tin cans you have and take them to the recycling center. Did You Know… …that in Europe, steel from tin cans and other kind of packaging is the most recycled material? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Popcorn Day January 19 is Popcorn Day, a day to organize an impromptu movie night, just so that you can enjoy a tub or two of crunchy, salty and buttery popcorn. Or, if you have a sweet tooth, treat yourself to some delicious caramel popcorn. The unofficial holiday is also sometimes celebrated on the day of the Super Bowl in the United States, where it is called National Popcorn Day. Popping Corn Popcorn is a snack made by heating corn or maize kernels. When heated – either in a microwave oven or on the stovetop – the hull on the outside of the kernels break or “pop” creating the delicious snack we call popcorn. Long and Varied History Popcorn has a very long and varied history. Historians believe that corn whose kernels could be popped was first cultivated around 5000 B.C.E in Mexico. Archeologists have found evidence of first popcorn maker – a utensil with holes and a handle – dating back to 400 C.E. in Peru. In many indigenous cultures, corn and popcorn were used for religious purposes and decoration. Popular Movie Theater Snack Popcorn became popular in the US around the early 1900s when it was sold on street corners under the name of Pearls. Now a popular movie theater snack, theater owners initially were against serving popcorn in their premises. During the depression, however, popcorn became one of the few luxuries that people could afford forcing theater owners to start selling popcorn. Today, it is a huge part of the movie experience. Popcorn's fortunes fell as VCRs became popular and people started watching films at home. The invention of microwave oven popcorn and home popcorn machines once again brought popcorn into the lives of movie aficionados. Popcorn is also often used for decoration and as packaging material. How to Celebrate? Add popcorn to all your meals today. Start the day with popcorn cereal – add milk, honey or maple syrup to popcorn. Sprinkle some popcorn on your lunch salad instead of croutons. Replace Rice Krispies in Rice Krispie treats with popcorn to make sweet treats for your evening snack. Use crushed popcorn instead of breadcrumbs to coat your breadcrumbed chicken breast for dinner. And end the day with some ice cream topped with chocolate and caramel popcorn. Host a movie night and have a popcorn bar for your guests. May we recommend serving parmesan and bacon popcorn, jalapeño popcorn, curry popcorn, maple-pecan popcorn, cake batter popcorn and chocolate popcorn, in addition to the original butter popcorn? Did You Know… ...that popcorn is the official snack food of the State of Illinois, United States? *** Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide. “Each year, the upper­classmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard,” he said. “So what’s the answer?” my friend asked. The guide replied, “One.” *** A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.” *** "What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?" I asked my husband. He thought for a minute before responding, "An optimist is the guy who created the airplane. A pessimist is the guy who created the parachute." *** My six-year-old loved his pet fish. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. But one day while he was in school, his fish died, so I flushed it down the toilet. I told him when he got home, and he was inconsolable. Nothing I said helped. After a while, I asked, “Why are you crying so much?” Arching his back, he shouted, “I wanted to flush!” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Thorny-orbed Spider-- underside - Gasteracantha cancriformis *** Watch at your own risk (you have been warned)! Funniest video EVER!! Best friend scared of a spider! - YouTube (I may have crossed the line with this last one )

January 18th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Amy Carmichael (Church of England) Athanasius of Alexandria (Eastern Orthodox Church) Confession of Peter (Eastern Orthodox, some Anglican and Lutheran Churches) Cyril of Alexandria Deicolus Margaret of Hungary Prisca Volusianus of Tours January 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Royal Thai Armed Forces Day (Thailand) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Get to Know Your Customers Day National Forrest Day National Gourmet Coffee Day National Michigan Day National Peking Duck Day Winnie the Pooh Day Women’s Healthy Weight Day Cary Grant’s Birthday Nathaniel Simonsen’s Birthday Linda Sun’s Birthday Lps Dave’s Birthday Karan Brar’s Birthday Kevin Costner’s Birthday Jonathan Davis’s Birthday Isaac Elliot Rivera’s Birthday Eugene Lee Yang’s Birthday AA Milne’s Birthday Dave Bautista ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 18th, 2024 - Thu Jan 25th, 2024 Week of Prayer for Christian Unity Fun Observances Thesaurus Day January 18 is Thesaurus Day. Impress your family and friends with big, complicated, and fancy sounding words to celebrate this lexicographic holiday. The unofficial holiday commemorates the birth anniversary of British lexicographer and physician, Peter Mark Roget, the author of the Roget’s Thesaurus. Storehouse of Words A thesaurus is a book that compiles words grouped by similarity of meaning. The term thesaurus comes from the Greek word, thesauros, meaning treasure or storehouse. Roget's Thesaurus is one of the most widely used reference books in the English language around the world. It was first published in 1852 with 15,000 words. Since then, the book has never gone out of publication. Therapeutic Origins It is believed that Roget worked on making word lists that later became the Roget's Thesaurus as a way to combat with depression and mental illness. Roget is also known for inventing the log slide rule in 1814. The slide rule helps calculate the roots of number very easily. How to Celebrate? Bring out your thesaurus and carry it with you the whole day, using it every time you want to speak with someone. Play a game of Synonym. Did You Know… …that synonym is an antonym of antonym? *** After finishing his meal, my grandfather, a retired Marine captain, asked the waitress for the 15 percent discount the restaurant offered veterans. "Do you need to see my military ID?" he asked. "That's all right," she said. "I know you were in the military. I can tell by your T-shirt." Grandpa's shirt read "Welcome to Gettysburg National Military Park." *** Three dolts are in the forest when they spot a set of tracks. Dolt No. 1 says, "Hey, deer tracks!" Dolt No. 2 says, "No, dog tracks!" Dolt No. 3 says, "You’re both crazy—they’re cow tracks!" They were still arguing when the train hit them. *** Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife said. "Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out. Her reply left me speechless. "I didn't know bugs could fly that fast." *** “What are these pennies doing in my soup?” the restaurant patron demanded, motioning for the waiter to come over to his table. The waiter walked over and whispered, “You said you would stop eating here if there wasn’t some change in the food.” *** *** *** *** *** *** Green yolk egg| Green egg: Hens lay eggs with green yolks in Kerala poultry farm, scientists conduct study | Trending & Viral News *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** (Those were the days my friends, we thought they'd never end........) *** *** *** *** ' ME ' *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Why get a blanket for your homie when you can make one?

January 17th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Anthony the Great Blessed Angelo Paoli Blessed Gamelbert of Michaelsbuch Charles Gore (Church of England) Jenaro Sánchez Delgadillo (one of Saints of the Cristero War) Mildgyth Our Lady of Pontmain Sulpitius the Pious January 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) National Day (Menorca, Spain) The opening ceremony of Patras Carnival, celebrated until Clean Monday. (Patras) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Cable Car Day Customer Service Day Day of Judgment International We Are Not Broken Day James Leonard Tagle Gordon Day Museum Selfie Day National Bootlegger’s Day National Carolina Day National Charlotte Day National Hot Buttered Rum Day National Hot Heads Chili Day National Lose the Jet Lag Day National Ta Day Popeye Day Art’s Birthday National Classy Day Guru Gobind Singh Jayanti Ray J’s Birthday Sara Molina’s Birthday Michelle Obama’s Birthday Muhammad Ali’s Birthday Kid Rock’s Birthday Maury Povich’s Birthday James Earl Jones’s Birthday Jim Carrey’s Birthday Jake Paul’s Birthday FKA Twigs’s Birthday Eartha Kitt’s Birthday Dwyane Wade’s Birthday Skate Maloley’s Birthday Steve Harvey’s Birthday Zooey Deschanel’s Birthday Betty White’s Birthday Benjamin Franklin Fun Observances (3) Benjamin Franklin Day January 17 is celebrated worldwide as Benjamin Franklin Day. Born on this day in 1706 to a soap and candle maker in England, Benjamin Franklin grew up to become one of the most well-known and celebrated Americans in history. Founding Father Ben Franklin was a polymath - someone who is an expert on a variety of different subjects. In addition to being one of America’s founding fathers, Franklin was a prolific inventor, author, printer, politician, diplomat, musician, and postmaster. The fact that he stopped attending school at the age of 10 makes him one of the most impressive person in American and world history. A Widely Read Author Franklin was a Freemason who published several books under the pseudonym, Richard Saunders. One of his most famous works is called Poor Richard's Almanack, an annual almanac that included poems, weather, and astrological information. For the 25 years that it was in publication - the first one came out in 1732—it was the most widely read almanac in the American colonies. On the 100 Dollar Bill The American 100 dollar bill features a picture of Franklin. Because of this, the bills are sometimes also referred to as Benjamins. How to Celebrate? Celebrate this all-round genius by learning more about his life and achievements. Did You Know... …that the concept of Daylight Saving Time (DST) is mistakenly attributed to Benjamin Franklin? It was actually first proposed by George Vernon Hudson in 1895. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kid Inventors' Day January 17 is Kid Inventors’ Day (KID), a day to encourage all the children in your life to think outside the box and invent something. The unofficial holiday commemorates the birthday of all-around genius and kid inventor, Benjamin Franklin, and celebrates kid inventors around the world. It also aims to encourage children to be curious about the world around them and to be creative when solving problems. Benjamin Franklin, Kid Inventor Franklin, one of the most prolific person in history was responsible for inventing the precursor to the swimming flippers at the age of eleven, a year after he stopped going to school. His invention was made for the hands instead of the feet. How to Celebrate? Encourage the kids around you to search for scientific and logical solutions to problems. Get the kids in your life problem-solving toys and games to help them develop critical thinking skills. If a child you know has an idea for a gadget or a game, help them realize their dreams. If you are a teacher, spend the day talking to your students about children who invented things and inspire them to become inventors. Let them know that their idea or invention does not have to be path breaking or revolutionary, it can be something small that solves a real life problem that they or someone they know, face. Did You Know… …that the snowmobile, popsicles, and braille were all invented by children? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ditch New Year's Resolution Day January 17 or Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day is popularly thought to be the day when a large number of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions. You have done well for the past couple of weeks. You have stuck to your New Year’s resolutions. But are now ready to give them up. You are busy, you took on too much, that piece of cake just looks so darn good to ignore. Whatever your reason to break your New Year resolutions, you can do it guilt-free on Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day. How to Celebrate? Ditch those resolutions, relax and stop feeling guilty about breaking them. After all, resolutions are meant to be broken. Did You Know… …that according to some studies almost 80% of all people who make New Year’s resolutions abandon them sometime during the year? *** It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week, I asked her what she wanted as a present. “Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Just give me something with diamonds.” That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards. *** Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one. *** The Law of Coffee If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold. *** A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. The barista sees them and says, “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.” *** A man walks into a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under his arm. At the counter he says, “I’ll take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road.” *** After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.” *** One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel went down to the local dance hall. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?” The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.” “Pop!” goes the weasel. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

January 16th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Pope Benjamin (Coptic) Berard of Carbio Blaise (Armenian Apostolic) Fursey Joseph Vaz Honoratus of Arles Pope Marcellus I Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God (Coptic Church) Titian of Oderzo Eve of Saint Anthony observed with ritual bonfires in San Bartolomé de Pinares January 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) National Religious Freedom Day (United States) Teacher's Day (Myanmar) Teachers' Day (Thailand) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Appreciate a Dragon Day Book Publishers Day International Hot and Spicy Food Day National Boston Day National Fig Newton Day National Good Teen Day National Quinoa Day National Without a Scalpel Day Printing Ink Day Prohibition Remembrance Day Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day Signing of the Peace Accords International Rooibos Day Ruby Rube’s Birthday Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Birthday Jubilee Sharpe’s Birthday Jennie Kim’s Birthday Aaliyah’s Birthday Sidharth Malhotra’s Birthday Fun Observances Nothing Day January 16 is Nothing Day, a day to celebrate, well, nothing. Started by newspaper columnist Harold Pullman Coffin in 1973, the unofficial holiday aims to provide people “with a day where they can just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring anything." An Un-Event The day is an "un-event", which means that it should not be seen as an event and that one should do nothing to promote it as such. So instead of promoting the day, we will tell you more about nothing. Nothing is an indefinite pronoun that means no thing or not anything. It refers to a person or a thing of no importance, consequence, or interest. Debates Over Nothing History is full of debates between philosophers and writers on the importance and the study of nothing. Some philosophers believe that the study of the nature of nothing is a useless endeavor since there is nothing like nothing - to answer the question, what is nothing, one must find nothing. There is also some disagreement among physicists about the true nature of nothingness in outer space. Many claim that even a true vacuum, devoid of anything is not nothing, because even if it doesn't have any particles of gravity, it contains quantum particles. How to Celebrate? Observe Nothing Day by celebrating nothing. Learn facts about absolutely nothing. Learn more about how the notion of nothingness features in philosophy and science. Watch the Seinfeld episode, The Pitch. In this episode of the popular TV series, George Costanza comes up with the idea of creating a TV show about nothing. Did You Know… …that zero as a number was discovered in India in the 9th century AD? *** For Mother’s Day: My Mom Taught Me … Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” Humor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!” *** My coworker at the hotel was miserable at his job and was desperately searching for a new one. "Why don’t you work for your mother?" I suggested. He shook his head. "I can’t," he said. "Her company has a very strict policy against hiring relatives." "Who made up that ridiculous rule?" "My mother." *** I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake. "Hi!" It was my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week. "Mom," I interrupted. "It's five in the morning." "Really? What are you doing up so early?" *** When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. When I returned him to his parents, they asked him how he enjoyed his pony ride. He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Salticidae (Jumping Spiders) Spiders found in Texas include 86 unique species. Spiders in Texas - Species & Pictures

January 15th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Arbor Day (Egypt) Armed Forces Day (Nigeria) Army Day (India) Christian feast day: Abeluzius (Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church) Arnold Janssen Francis Ferdinand de Capillas (one of Martyr Saints of China) Ita Our Lady of the Poor Macarius of Egypt (Western Christianity) Maurus and Placidus (Order of Saint Benedict) Paul the Hermit January 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Martin Luther King Jr. Day can fall (the 15th being his birthday), while January 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in January. (United States) Earliest day on which Sinulog Festival can fall, while January 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Sunday in January. (Philippines) John Chilembwe Day (Malawi) Korean Alphabet Day (North Korea) Ocean Duty Day (Indonesia) Sagichō at Tsurugaoka Hachimangū. (Kamakura, Japan) Teacher's Day (Venezuela) Black Christ of Esquipulas day The second day of the sidereal winter solstice festivals in India (see January 14): Thai Pongal, Tamil harvest festival Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Alpha Kappa Alpha Day Blue Monday Brew Monday Civil Rights Day Elementary School Teacher Day Idaho Human Rights Day Makar Sankranti National Booch Day National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day National Hat Day National Kayla Day National Pothole Day Wikipedia Day Steph Toms’s Birthday Pitbull’s Birthday Regina King’s Birthday Martin Luther King’s Birthday Drew Brees’s Birthday Dove Cameron’s Birthday Chicago West’s Birthday Caroline Arapoglou’s Birthday Ben Shapiro ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mon Jan 15th, 2024 - Fri Jan 19th, 2024 No Name-Calling Week Mon Jan 15th, 2024 - Sun Jan 21st, 2024 European Cervical Cancer Prevention Week Energy Saving Week Mon Jan 15th, 2024 - Sun Jan 25th, 2024 Week of Prayer for Christian Unity Fun Observances (2) Strawberry Ice Cream Day January 15 is Strawberry Ice Cream Day. It is an unofficial holiday that celebrates ice cream made with strawberries or added strawberry flavors. It is believed that the ice cream flavor, which is now popular around the world, was invented in 1813 in the United States by First Lady Dolley Madison, and it was served during her husband, President James Madison’s second inaugural banquet at the White House. Used as Medicine Strawberries, a member of the rose family, were consumed by our ancestors for its medicinal purposes. The ancient Romans thought that the fruit could cure depression, sadness and kidney stones. Modern day studies have shown that strawberries are a good source of Vitamin C and consumption of the fruit can reduce the levels of bad cholesterol in humans. The holiday is also known as National Strawberry Ice Cream Day in the United States. How to Celebrate? I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Strawberry ice cream to be more precise. Here are some ways to honor this hugely popular ice cream: Celebrate the day with strawberry ice cream. Have strawberry ice cream for all your meals during the day. Make your own strawberry ice cream at home. What about adding new flavors like balsamic vinegar and mint to your tried and tested strawberry ice cream recipe? Did You Know… …that botanically, a strawberry is not a fruit at all? Instead, it is a receptacle - the thick part of a stem from which a flower grows. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bagel and Lox Day Bagel and Lox Day is an unofficial holiday dedicated to the quintessential Jewish American dish made of bagels, cream cheese, and lox or cured salmon. This holiday of unknown origins is also often known as National Bagel Day or Bagel Day. In 2018, Thomas', a division of Bimbo Bakeries USA, decided to move the date of National Bagel Day from February 9 to January 15 to avoid competing with National Pizza Day. Despite this, many people still prefer to celebrate this holiday on the original date of February 9. Ring Shaped Bread Popularized first by Jewish immigrants in New York City, bagels and lox is a classic combination and is a dish usually eaten during breakfast or for brunch. Traditionally from Poland, bagels are ring-shaped bread made out of wheat dough that is first boiled and then baked to give it its distinctive chewy texture. The hole in the middle is thought to make it easier for the bagel to cook as well as easier for bakers to transport and store lots of bagels at one time – all they need to do is to string a rope or thread through the bagel holes. Lox and Schmear The word lox is derived from the Yiddish word for salmon, laks. In the United States, lox is brined and cured salmon that has been sliced very thinly. On a bagel, it is usually served with cream cheese, popularly called schmear, from the German word for spread. How to Celebrate This one’s easy. Just go to your closest deli and get yourself a bagel with cream cheese and lox. Don’t have a deli close to you? Make the sandwich yourself at home – all you’ll need is some cream cheese, a bagel, and some lox. Add a slice of tomato or onion and you have a delicious meal ready! Did You Know… ...that the shape of a bagel – a ring with a hole – is technically called a torus? The word torus comes from the Latin word for cushion. *** A musician friend is always upbeat. But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might overwhelm even her. When I asked whether her condition was especially annoying to a musician, she shook her head. “Not really,” she said cheerfully. “The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello half a tone lower.” *** Q: What happens if you play a county song backwards? A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison. *** I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say, “Hey, that was a Stop sign.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!” A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, “You just ran a red light.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!” So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say, “It’s green; why are you slowing down?” He says, “My brother might be coming.” *** As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open the register. "Open my register," "Please let me start," and "Give me the go-ahead," were some of the terms used by cashiers. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!" *** *** *** (Pictures with the family pets) *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Scientists Target New Painkillers From Spider Venom The greenbottle blue tarantula (<em>Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens</em>) is one of seven species of spiders whose venom Australian researchers found has potential painkilling properties. The creature is native to Venezuela and has some of the most dramatic coloring of any spider species.

January 14th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Barba'shmin Devasahayam Pillai (Catholic Church) Divina Pastora (Barquisimeto) Eivind Berggrav (Lutheran) Felix of Nola Macrina the Elder Odoric of Pordenone January 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Defender of the Motherland Day (Uzbekistan) Feast of the Ass (Medieval Christianity) Flag Day (Georgia) National Forest Conservation Day (Thailand) Old New Year, and its related observance: Azhyrnykhua (Abkhazia) Yennayer (Berbers) Ratification Day (United States) Revolution and Youth Day (Tunisia) Sidereal winter solstice celebrations in South and Southeast Asian cultures; marking the transition of the Sun to Capricorn, and the first day of the six months Uttarayana period. (see April 14): Magh Bihu (Assam) Maghe Sankranti (Nepal) Maghi (Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh) Makar Sankranti (India) The first day of Pongal (Tamil Nadu) Uttarayan (Uttarakhand, Gujarat and Rajasthan) World Logic Day (UNESCO) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Cesarean Section Day International Kite Day National Dress Up Your Pet Day National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day National Sunday Supper Day National Undhiyu Day Novy God (Russian New Year) Orthodox New Year Take a Missionary to Lunch Day Unknown Citizens’ Day LL Cool J’s Birthday Kai’s Birthday Jason Bateman’s Birthday Gatsby the Corgi’s Birthday Dave Grohl’s Birthday Alejandro Rosario’s Birthday Mackenzie Turner’s Birthday Benedict Arnold Holland Taylor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sun Jan 14th, 2024 - Sat Jan 20th, 2024 Home Office Safety and Security Week National Mocktail Week National Pizza Week Universal Letter Writing Week Fun Observances Organize Your Home Day January 14 get started early on this year's spring cleaning and organizing on Organize Your Home Day. It may sound like a lot of work, but you will thank us later. Your home will be organized, ready to receive company at a moment’s notice and more importantly, if you keep it up throughout the year, you will have an organized home next year this unofficial holiday rolls by. Beneficial All Year Being organized can balance your life. It can reduce stress and makes you more productive. It can stop you looking for things, of having to buy new things that you don't need. If you make it your way of life today, it can soon become a habit and you will reap the benefits for years to come. How to Celebrate? Get your cleaning supplies out and get scrubbing and organizing. Rope in your family to help you organize, give everyone a task and award them for finishing them. Hold an organizing party, and have friends help you. You can thank them by making them their favorite meal or by helping them organize their home in return. Make an organization itinerary. Attack a room or an area every week and you will have an organized home in no time. Declutter by donating things you don't use anymore. Did You Know… …that cleaning can help burn calories? On average, mopping the floors for an hour will help you lose about 160 calories. *** Spotted on a Laundromat corkboard: “Please keep clothes on while doing laundry.” *** Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. *** The four most beautiful words in our common language: 
I told you so. *** I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. *** You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace. *** A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. *** Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it. *** The holiday 
season:
a deeply religious 
time that each of us 
observes, in his own way, by going to the 
 mall of his choice. *** Being president is like 
running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening. ---Bill Clinton *** I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —Ronald Reagan *** As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties, and the marital counselor said I needed to do something sexy to a tractor." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Lucas the Spider There are little videos on YouTube staring this cute little spider. He talks and he melts your heart. Lucas The Spider Creator Explains How He Makes People Fall In Love With Spiders | The Dodo - YouTube

January 13th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Blessed Veronica of Milan Elian Hilary of Poitiers Mungo St. Knut's Day or Tjugondag Knut, the last day of Christmas. (Sweden and Finland) January 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Mongolia) Democracy Day (Cape Verde) Liberation Day (Togo) Old New Year's Eve (Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Serbia, Montenegro, Republic of Srpska, North Macedonia), and its related observances: Malanka (Ukraine, Russia, Belarus) Sidereal winter solstice's eve celebrations in South and Southeast Asian cultures; the last day of the six-month Dakshinayana period (see January 14): Bhogi (Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu) Lohri (Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh) Uruka (Assam) Stephen Foster Memorial Day (United States) Yennayer (Berbers) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Calennig Korean American Day National Catherine Day National Kathleen Day National Peach Melba Day National Rubber Ducky Day National Sticker Day National Vision Board Day Poetry Break Day Public Radio Broadcasting Day International Skeptics Day Tyler Henry’s Birthday Patrick Dempsey’s Birthday Tre Brooks’s Birthday Orlando Bloom’s Birthday Nique Nique&King’s Birthday Mike Majlak’s Birthday Lori Harvey’s Birthday Liam Hemsworth’s Birthday Andrew Yang Julia Louis-Dreyfus Fun Observances Make Your Dreams Come True Day January 13 is Make your Dreams Come True Day. If you have been procrastinating on fulfilling your dream, this is your chance to get things right. This unofficial holiday with unknown origins encourages people to be proactive about achieving what they want in life. Dreams That Inspire Dreams are a part of life. We all dream when we sleep, but most of us don't remember them the next day. No matter how big or small, there are some dreams that inspire us and allow us to make our lives better. It is these dreams that Make your Dreams Come True Day celebrates. Dreams that motivate us to do better, encourage us to take on more challenges, and energize us to succeed in our lives - professionally and personally. How to Celebrate? Get started on making your dream come true. Talk to someone who inspires you. Make an inspiration board with images and words relating to your dream. Write down your dream, make a project plan, and create deadlines for you to work towards. Did You Know… …that according to experts, most people on average have a dream every 90 minutes? *** On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. He suddenly grew indignant. “Why should I pay someone to shovel?” he demanded. “I can get my son to do it. He’s only 70!” *** The other day I got carded at the liquor store. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. The clerk shook his head, said, “Never mind,” and rang me up. *** One of the shortest wills ever written: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.” *** Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat. "What are you doing?" asked Fred. Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied "I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can't find it." Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. "But I've got to", said Sam, "my teeth are in it!" *** You can see the strangest things if you look hard enough. The other day I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. It was bread in captivity. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Pterinochilus chordatus (Kilimanjaro baboon)

January 12th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Aelred of Rievaulx Benedict Biscop Bernard of Corleone Marguerite Bourgeoys Tatiana January 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Memorial Day (Turkmenistan) National Youth Day (India) Prosecutor General's Day (Russia) Zanzibar Revolution Day (Tanzania) Yennayer (Algeria) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day Kiss a Ginger Day National Curried Chicken Day National Hot Tea Day National Kettlebell Day National Pharmacist Day Quitters Day Remembrance Day Stick to Your New Year's Resolution Day Work Harder Day Rob Zombie’s Birthday Jeff Bezos’s Birthday Issa Rae’s Birthday Howard Stern’s Birthday Do Kyungsoo’s Birthday Zayn Malik’s Birthday Raekwon Fun Observances Marzipan Day Celebrate marzipan, the sweet, almond-based multi-purpose confectionary on January 12, Marzipan Day. Marzipan is one of those food items that evoke extreme reactions. Love it or hate it, it is one of the most well-known and widely used food item in kitchens and bakeries around the world. Decorating Cakes Made of almond meal and sugar, marzipan is usually used to decorate cakes. Its dough-like consistency makes it an ideal material to make novelty shapes and figures. Some historians believe that marzipan has Arabic roots, while others believe that the Chinese introduced it to the world. Either way, it has now become the mainstay of holiday and wedding celebrations in many parts of the world. How to Celebrate? Make your own marzipan and use it to make treats. If you can’t make your own marzipan, buy pre-made marzipan and shape it. Learn the different ways marzipan is used by people in different cultures. Did You Know... …that the wild varieties of almond are not fit for human consumption? This is because they contain a compound called glycoside amygdalin, which turns into hydrogen cyanide if the seed is crushed or injured. *** I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, "In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out." *** I answered a 911 call at our emergency dispatch center from a woman who said her water broke. "Stay calm," I advised. "Now, how far apart are your contractions?" "No contractions," she said breathlessly. "But my basement is flooding fast." *** When my friend spotted a blind man and his guide dog at a crosswalk, she stopped her car and waved them on. "Uh, Cynthia," I said, "he can't see you." "I know that," she said indignantly. "I'm waving the dog on." *** Movie Quotes—The First Drafts The Godfather: "I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?" The Terminator: "I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m up?" Dirty Harry: "You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work …" Taxi Driver: "You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Sorry, it looked like you were talkin’ to me. My mistake." *** A doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss." The patient said, "Oh no, Doctor. What's the bad news?" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Dysdera crocata. The woodlouse spider (Dysdera crocata) is a species of spider that preys primarily upon woodlice. Other common names refer to variations on the common name of its prey, including woodlouse hunter, sowbug hunter, sowbug killer, pillbug hunter and slater spider. Woodlouse Spider in the bathroom (Dysdera crocata) - YouTube Woodlouse spider - Wikipedia

January 11th 2024 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Children's Day (Tunisia) Christian feast day: Anastasius of Suppentonia (Roman Catholic) Leucius of Brindisi (Roman Catholic) Paulinus II of Aquileia Pope Hyginus Theodosius the Cenobiarch Thomas of Cori Vitalis of Gaza (Roman Catholic) January 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Eugenio María de Hostos Day (Puerto Rico) Independence Resistance Day (Morocco) Kagami biraki (Japan) National Human Trafficking Awareness Day (United States) Republic Day (Albania) Carmentalia (January 11th and January 15th) (Rome) Prithvi Jayanti (Nepal) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Birth anniversary of National Artist Atang de la Rama Cigarettes are Hazardous to Your Health Day Healthy Weight, Healthy Look Day Heritage Treasures Day International Parity at Work Day International Thank-You Day Kosrae Constitution Day National Arkansas Day National Girl Hug Boy Day National Hot Toddy Day National Joel Day National Milk Day National Tara Day No Longer New Year's Day Paget’s Awareness Day Secret Pal Day Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day World Sketchnote Day Mary J. Blige’s Birthday Kyle Richards’s Birthday Jania Bania’s Birthday Emmie Alice’s Birthday Alfonso Arau’s Birthday Alexander Hamilton’s Birthday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 11th, 2024 - Wed Jan 17th, 2024 Cuckoo Dancing Week Fun Observances Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day January 11 is celebrated annually as Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day. Morse code is a way to transmit text through a series of signals. Each character or alphabet in a language is represented by a sequence of dots and dashes. SOS First demonstrated on January 11, 1838 by Alfred Vail and Samuel Morse, Morse code soon became commonly used by the military and the aviation industry worldwide. Until 1999 the distress signal "SOS", or "··· – – – ···" in Morse code, was used to communicate distress by ships and naval vessels around the world. Although it does not stand for anything it has been remembered as "Save Our Souls" or "Save Our Ship". It was replaced by the Global Maritime Distress Safety System in 1999, but is still widely recognised as a distress signal today. How to Celebrate? Learn Morse code. Of course, learn how to spell out your name in Morse code. Don't have time to learn a whole new language? Spend some time on learning more about the role Morse code has played in society. Did You Know… …that the fastest Morse code transmission was achieved by Tarry Turner in 1942? He reached a speed of 35 words per minute. *** The speaker at my bank's drive-through window had been broken for weeks, and we tellers had to resort to miming or writing notes to communicate with our frustrated customers. One day a sweet elderly lady whom I would see every week pulled up to the window, leaned out of her car and smacked the glass in front of my face. "Hope this is bulletproof," she yelled. There had just been a robbery at another bank nearby, so I was touched by her concern. "It is," I yelled back. "Good," she continued, "because someone is going to shoot you if you don't get that speaker fixed." *** 1-800-WasteMyTime It was late in the afternoon, and I was putting the final burnishes on a piece of writing that I was feeling pretty good about. Yes, okay, it was an e-mail, but it was a clever one and I hated to lose it. My cursor had frozen. I tried to shut the computer down, and it seized up altogether. Unsure of what else to do, I yanked the battery out. Unfortunately, Windows had been in the midst of a delicate and crucial undertaking. The next morning, when I turned my computer back on, it informed me that a file had been corrupted and Windows would not load. This was followed by some mysterious lines of code, which I took to be my computer saying "Serves you right, careless pea brain" in its native tongue. More graciously, it offered to repair itself by using the Windows Setup CD. I opened the special drawer where I keep CDs that I have no intention of ever using. There was an IKEA how-to CD, which featured young Swedes assembling kitchen cabinets with nothing but a sardine can key and untrammeled wholesomeness. Mostly, there were CDs of music that my friends are always burning for me, unbidden, because they think I'll enjoy them. But no Windows CD. I was forced to call the computer company's Global Support Center. My call was answered by a woman in some unnamed, far-off land. I find it vexing to make small talk with someone when I don't know what continent they're standing on. Suppose I were to comment on the beautiful weather we've been having when there was a monsoon at the other end of the phone? So I got right to the point. "My computer is telling me a file is corrupted and it wants to fix itself, but I don't have the Windows Setup CD." "So you're having a problem with your Windows Setup CD." She had apparently been dozing and, having come to just as the sentence ended, was attempting to cover for her inattention. I recognized the technique from a thousand breakfast conversations. "We took that rug in weeks ago. Should I call the cleaners?" "No, thanks. I'm good." It quickly became clear that the woman was not a computer technician. Her job was to serve as a gatekeeper, a human shield for the techs, who were off in the back room, or possibly another far-off continent, playing cards and burning CDs for their friends. Her sole duty, as far as I could tell, was to raise global stress levels. To make me disappear, the woman gave me the phone number for Windows' creator, Microsoft. This is like giving someone the phone number for, I don't know, North America. Besides, the CD worked; I just didn't have it. No matter how many times I repeated my story, we came back to the same place. She was unflappable and resolutely polite. When my voice hit a certain decibel, I was passed along, like a hot, irritable potato, to a technician. "You don't have the Windows Setup CD, ma'am, because you don't need it," he explained cheerfully. "Windows came preinstalled on your computer!" "But I do need it." "Yes, but you don't have it." We went on like this for a while. Finally, he offered to walk me through the use of a different CD, one that would erase my entire system. "Of course, you'd lose all your e-mail, your documents, your photos." It was like offering to drop a safe on my head to cure my headache. "You might be able to recover them, but it would be expensive." He sounded delighted. "And it's not covered by the warranty!" The safe began to seem like a good idea, provided it was full. I hung up the phone and drove my computer to a small, friendly repair place I'd heard about. A smart, helpful man dug out a Windows CD and told me it wouldn't be a problem. An hour later, he called to let me know it was ready. I thanked him, and we chatted about the weather, which was the same outside my window as it was outside his. *** A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened." *** A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn