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20 Moving In The Right Direction

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About StonyCreeker

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  1. StonyCreeker

    Shamrock Lite

    Dammit! I’ve so missed your writing and I’m sooooo glad you’re feeling well (enough) to share your wonderful gift with us. It’s been a VERY long time since something I read made my eyes moist. Thank you so much! You’ve made what has been a stressful week, much more tolerable.
  2. Well, if I were experiencing this right after having gone out and had fun for the first time in a long time, I’d say I was probably punishing myself for daring to have a nice time. But that’s just me. My own worst enemy. As for disappointing people: you’re certainly not disappointing me and if you do encounter someone judgmental enough to actually feel that way I say screw ‘em. Let them spend a few days inside your head and see how they cope. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. You are amazing. And now for something lighter yet on the topic of people being unrealistically, simplistically judgmental: Bob Newhart - Stop It My partner and I tease each other with this regularly when we’re lamenting not achieving some mental health goal or another.
  3. StonyCreeker

    Chapter 8

    I hate to make my first comment on this finely crafted tale be a possible correction, but did you mean to revert to the use of “demonscape” in the following line? “For five centuries the “demonscape” has existed: civilization has rebuilt itself....” As with all of your writing (which I follow avidly), this story is very well done and leaves me checking for updates multiple times a day. Thank you so much for allowing me to enjoy it.
  4. Man, I have so much respect for you. There are very few times when I wouldn’t say I was “ok” if someone asked. I never have experienced the anxiety and panic you endure. I have to wonder what you do for work. How can you stand to go there feeling like you do? I couldn’t when I felt better than how you describe yourself now. Regardless of how you think of yourself (or what the “demon” inside your head tells you to think about yourself), you are an amazing person. I don’t mean that in some crappy platitudinous way. I mean you and your actions amaze me. While I would NEVER want to experience your troubles, if I had your strength, my silly problems would be behind me. Thank you so much for continuing to share your story.
  5. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am to hear things are starting to improve even if it’s just a start. For me, there was a tremendous difference between days when I couldn’t imagine things ever getting better and days when I could at least see some slight improvement even if things were still really rotten. That’s what I find the most difficult, the need to constantly monitor my thoughts to try to keep them out of the well worn, maladaptive ruts I’ve formed in my brain. Sadly, I’ve been failing miserably at it. I will suddenly realize that “I’m doing it again” and then realize that I’ve been doing it all day without noticing it. I look forward to hearing more.
  6. I won’t command you to “Have a Happy Birthday” (any more than I would demand someone “Have a nice day!”) but I will wish that you do/did/will have one. Your writing is not TMI. It’s real and honest. And totally familiar. It’s unfortunate that your psychiatrist couldn’t find a combination of meds that could at least take the edge off of the “pain” without unbearable side effects. It’s also not that surprising. It took my health care providers and me decades to come up with a combination that works for me. As I’m sure you’ve experienced but others reading this might not know, antidepressants and accompanying adjunct therapies aren’t happy pills. They don’t make you happy. The best they can do is keep the low times from being as deep as they might otherwise be, giving one the ability to either build up some psychic reserves or at least keep those reserves from being drained as quickly. Unfortunately, they all come with side effects. Most aren’t life threatening but are very annoying like the inability to achieve orgasm (period, nope not happening, almost...almost...fuck! It’s gone) or sweating if you do nearly anything. The most powerful ones have the worst side effects like uncontrollable tremors or feeling completely spaced out all the time. I do hope your therapist is able to help you with the very hard work of taking control of your brain and retraining it to stop automatically sending you to places that are both unpleasant and untrue. That’s what I’m still working on but it’s quite difficult especially when outside events ambush me and drain all the reserves I’ve managed to horde. I look forward to the day when you post that you’ve recovered enough that you enjoy writing fiction again. I remember when I used to check this site literally every day to see if you’d posted anything new. You have a great ability to suck me into your writing, making me care about your characters and enabling me to suspend disbelief. That’s something that most of the writers on this site can’t do for a cynical old curmudgeon like me.
  7. Albert, I’m so glad (relieved, actually) to see a post from you and so sorry to hear the surface details of why we’ve had to miss you for so long. I wish you lived somewhere in my area because, after a lifetime of chronic depression and PTSD, I could tell you who has been able to help me at least partially recover. If you ever want to talk, send me a message. Please don’t think I’m ignoring you if I don’t respond quickly. With a lot of help, I’ve managed to dig myself out of my own pit far enough that I’m working again. I hope you’re able to find some sense peace and security.
  8. StonyCreeker

    Chapter 1

    I've just read this story for the second time since I liked it so well the first time I read it a few months ago. Although I've read many stories on this site, it is rare for me to comment, in this case, I felt compelled. This story held me captive. Frequently, I skip/skim stories because they often don't hold my attention. With this story, I read every word, now for a second time. It is masterfully written with the perfect balance of detail and get-on-with-the-plot action. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with us. My only hope is that you will continue it into many more chapters and even books. You've created a rich world in less than 7000 words. It would be a shame to leave it unexplored.
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