I'm sure I've corrected for doing that. Glancing isn't a speech tag, so it can't be separated with a comma.
I defer to Cia's wiseness in this and other grammar matters.
I would have said neither and that:
Now, Brian.” He glanced at me, probably to make sure I was paying attention. “We have the electronics from all the missing girls.”
was correct, if unwieldy, but I am happy to stand corrected. I have a complicated history with speech tags and their associated quirks.
I trialled it and was entirely doubtful. I have met lots of writers through Nanowrimo who use it - though generally unsuccessfully.
In my opinion and after my experience, it seems like a toolkit for procrastination. Lots of things to do to stop you from writing. all you need is a word processor and notebook. Everything else is just tosh.
thank you very much. I'm really glad you liked them.
GA is the only place you'll find anything new, all the stuff on other sites is pre 2014.
Huan-Yu is a funny guy, I'm not sure I'd be able to write from his perspective. Interesting thought though.
also, just for reference - my poetry is terrible, but thank you anyway.
Wow! I can't imagine playing for opposing sides! I imagine that could be hard sometimes. On the other hand, a bit like working with your other half, if they played for the same team, what would there be to talk about?
And so it's over. The end
Lots of people have already asked for a follow up. Generally: no.
Jian and Emmett are special, because we have left them so happy and so complete. They can go on plenty of adventures now without us peeking in at their lives.