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Miles Long

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Everything posted by Miles Long

  1. Miles Long

    Sixteen

    Thanks for the work.
  2. Overall, flow is improving , and ironically, I am starting to question the believability of the age of the boys, but the author gets major life kudos for the following quote: "To me, there’s nothing more dangerous than those who believe that God will save us from our own destruction, or that the destruction of the world is actually necessary to bring about the coming of God’s kingdom..." Thanks.
  3. Miles Long

    Oneg Shabbat

    It's obvious the author is passionate about the subject and I respect the desire to share the golden nuggets found while researching a story, but it interrupts the flow and prevents me from full disbelief suspension. I like the premise of the story, it's got potential, but it is getting lost in expounding on details that don't necessarily drive the story farther and a little bit of politicizing...which is not resonating for me yet from a character perspective (I reserve the right to change my mind on that later though as the story progresses). Thanks to the author.
  4. The beginning of the chapter felt a little forced in terms of both flow, starting with what read like random ponderings and then jumping into horribly insincere feeling tragedy, as well as dialogue (i.e. cliche racial outburst, the hollow/awkward use of words like sick and sweet in an effort to portray the vernacular of a teenager). I'll admit that I almost stopped reading, but decided to stick it out because I had read other stories by the author and I know finding a character's true voice is hard. I was rewarded for my sticktoitiveness as the chapter started to flow smoothly toward the end and I was able to overlook the writing and participate in the story. Thanks for the work.
  5. While the photos did not come up, I did appreciate the attempt.
  6. Miles Long

    Chapter 43

    No good deed goes unpunished. Thanks for the update!
  7. Miles Long

    Chapter 25

    Thanks and Happy New Year!
  8. Miles Long

    Chapter 24

    Our CAP boys need to resharpen their claws. Great update, thank you.
  9. Miles Long

    Chapter 42

    Spectacular turn of events. Happy Chrstmas and thank you.
  10. Miles Long

    Chapter 1

    This little gem is like a truffle: rich, sweet, and gone in a bite. Would more be good? Sure. Could I live with the joy of just one? Sure. Thanks.
  11. Miles Long

    Chapter 23

    Giddy...your stories make me feel feet wiggling giddy, like the rising start to a teen crush. Your potential for Godfather like drama is a heady prospect. Thank you!
  12. Miles Long

    Chapter 41

    Wow! Calvert really put himself out there and did it knowing George's situation. Fantastic update, thank you.
  13. Miles Long

    Chapter 22

    Brilliant suspense, thank you.
  14. Miles Long

    Chapter 40

    I was wondering when Francis would return to active story duty. I love the twists, thank you Mark Arbour.
  15. Miles Long

    Chapter 21

    Hmmm...Interesting chapter, I eagerly await more, please and thank you.
  16. Miles Long

    Chapter 20

    Interesting turns of events all around, thank you.
  17. Miles Long

    Chapter 19

    Welcome back Mark Arbour and thank you for the update!
  18. Miles Long

    Chapter 18

    JJ coming into his own is a nice add, I think not skating offers him more opportunities than when he was tied down with all that goes on in that world. Curious and excited where all this is heading, thanks for the update!
  19. Miles Long

    Chapter 39

    Palpable relief that Granger and his crew are safe; although I was wondering if a character from the past would make a deus ex machina entrance to offer assistance . Thank you for the update.
  20. Miles Long

    Chapter 17

    Failure is a good lesson for everyone, especially Will. It will allow him to be a better strategist next time. I think JJ and John would be mutually beneficial for one another. Thanks for the update.
  21. Miles Long

    Chapter 38

    Damn just when I think George is gonna get a break, he gets thrown again into impossible odds . Thrilling ending, thank you.
  22. Miles Long

    Chapter 16

    Thanks for the update. I wonder how JJ took (or will take) John and Brad's hook-up.
  23. Miles Long

    Chapter 15

    Oh Brad (patient sigh ). Will is JP's grandson, no doubt about that with that quick and brutal attack on Julius. Thanks for all the great work.
  24. Miles Long

    Chapter 37

    The tension and mystery just keep building...at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Calvert floated his way back into the mix. Thanks.
  25. Miles Long

    Chapter 14

    I applaud JJ's "I made my point, I'm over it" attitude. I look forward to Brad and Will reconciling to exact their pound of flesh. Best, thanks again.
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