huktaunluv

I've always wondered what drives people to the decision to end their life. In certain cases I can understand why, I may not agree but I understand. There are a few who choose to do it in the privacy of their homes while other's choose a more public forum. The reason I bring this up is because last Monday, I was waiting for the train on my way into work. A young lady and her friend were talking but I had my headphones on and couldn't hear what they were saying. The young lady looked down the tunnel when she felt the breeze of the train approaching the station. While looking at her friend and smiling brightly, she jumped. I'll never forget the sounds from that day, the point of impact, the screams, and the screeching brakes of the train. I'll most certainly will not forget the sounds her friend, as she screamed and cried hysterically. People were clamoring around trying to keep her from crawling to the edge to look for her. She kept asking, 'why?", over and over again. I stood there paralyzed for the first time in my life not knowing what to do. If you knew me personally, you would know I'm the one people turn to in times of crisis because I know how to keep my wits about me, but not in this case. I stood there frozen not knowing what to do. I, too, began to cry for this person I didn't know, while cursing her for doing what she did in front of not only complete strangers but her friend. I've never seen anyone die except in movies. I wished this had been a movie because to see it happen in person is jarring. I have no idea who this young lady was but she has changed my life in a way I never wanted to experience. Why did she choose that moment to end her life in such a public and gruesome way? Was this a declaration of her love for someone? I don't know. I have all these questions that I'll never learn the answer to. This young girl has affected the lives of numerous people who are all connected know even though we may not be aware. The train conductor has to live with the fact this girl died even though it was not his fault. To the rest of us, we were all apart of this girl's decision to die without regards to what it would do to us after she succeeded in her mission. I've tried to go back to my normal life but it's not normal anymore. I have nightmare's which doesn't help the insomnia I've suffered from for almost twenty years. There have been times when I'm in the middle of something and it'll sneak its way in throwing me off my game. It's been just over a week and I know I have to give myself more time to try and get over what I'd witnessed, but I wish it would happen soon. I hate feeling like this. So, I try to find solace in my writing and reading other people's stories. It's helped me in a way I could never express. I'm glad I have them in my life because I honestly don't know where I would be without them. It allows me to escape, if even for a little while. I'll keep going on because it's all I can do. I choose to keep on living!

Wow and there are still just over 700 days left and so much has happened already. I can't wait to see what's in store for Dan and Tristan in the next chapter!

I've done the whole oil in the trash can but I tripled bagged it and placed it in a large tin and some how it still dripped a little in the trash can. I had to go in and clean it out...that sucked! I have no home remedies to share with you about the stain. All I can say it I agree that these are just things and a living breathing person with feelings is way more important in the scope of things.

Hey Rano, hopefully I won't need you guys to do that because I'll have my man.

Thanks, Iarwain. It has been a struggle these last few months, but like the old TV show "The Jefferson's", I'm movin' on up!

Thank you, Ron. I feel better already! a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders. My birthday was awesome I actually got a chance to sleep in!

Over the years, you either learn who you are as a person or you don't. I've learned that when you have the right people in your life everything will run smoothly. There might be a couple of bumps along the way but you learn to keep going. There seems to be at least one bump which turns into a freaking insurmountable obstacle you don't think you can get over. My insurmountable obstacle came when I worked to a large retail store who could give a flying f$*K about there employees. When I was hired for a full-time position, I had plans for the money I'd make to help pay bills, loans, and rent. Imagine my surprise to arrive my first day and told I was no longer be full-time but part-time. Needless to say, I had better days. Miffed at the revelation, I kicked myself for having passed on another job offered to me. I wanted to quit on the spot but chose to stay because no one else was hiring at the time. I was able to keep my head above water until the store tied an anchor around an ankle, I felt myself begin to sink. I've never struggled like this in my life while working a job. If it weren't for my family, I would've been evicted from my apartment because I couldn't pay my bills, school loans plus the rent with the money I was making. I actively looked for new work but to no avail. I'm normally a fun loving person but I became ornery and distant. This place literally sucked away who I was as a person and I didn't like it. When the opportunity came to work in the merchandising department for a major university, I jumped at the chance even though I thought I had no chance. I sent in my resume and cover letter, not expecting to hear from the university. I was wrong. Two days later, I receive a phone call wanting to setup an interview because they liked what they saw on paper. All I had to do was sell myself in person and the job was mine. The interview was a scary one. I'd never had the need for a job the way I needed this one. I didn't let my job at the time dictate that that was where I would be stuck at for the rest of my life. I walked in with my gorgeous smile and didn't look back. They hired me on the spot! They liked my enthusiasm and my past experience in selling merchandise at retail level. I've worked at my new job now for only three weeks but I'm no longer drowning from an anchor around my ankle. I'm floating along now. I'm unbelievably tired because I work 40+ hours a week. I hardly have time to write the way I used to but I'm constantly writing down notes and ideas while at work. I'm hoping to write properly on my days off. For those who follow my stories, please know that I've not abandoned them in anyway. My new job is keeping me busy but I hope to have new chapters to you in a couple of weeks, hopefully. Here's my wish for my 38th year and every year after: to not have that type of financial struggle from my 37th year. It took a toll on my body in a way I hadn't realized until I left my other job. In the three weeks since I've been at the university, I've dropped 20 lbs. Yay, me! I plan on living it up more. I was so focused on the money aspect of my life, I let other things fall to the wayside, like my love life. I mentioned a crush I have on a co-worker in a past blog. I plan on taking the bull by the horns and making something happen. I pray I don't get hurt but how will I know if I don't take a chance. Well, I'm off to enjoy my birthday. I plan on staying in bed for two more hours before I head over to Starbucks for my free birthday drink (trenta iced tea) and a slice of pepperoni pizza w/ extra cheese for lunch. This is my treat to myself. I can't go crazy because I actually have to work early tomorrow morning....

As always Kevin, you have a knack for having me on the edge of my seat. Where have Mark and Dan been for the past six months? Why was the loud bang heard at the end of chapter 20? What was the loud bang? I can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks, Cole. I thought this subject should get touched upon because it happens more than people are aware. Abuse in any relationship shouldn't be tolerated. I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you for your words of encouragement, West. Fortunately, this story is not about my life but an observation from what I'd seen happen around me with people close to me. I would like to think I wouldn't put up with such treatment if it were me, but like you said love is blind. I'm glad you recognized you deserved better and got out of your own relationship. Thanks again for your review.

When I heard about women and men staying in an abusive relationship, I wondered what was wrong with them. How could they stay with someone who’d hurt them? Why didn’t they walk away from their abuser? It’s an easy thing to do to walk away in order to keep yourself from getting beat up or worse… killed. If I knew I was going to meet Jeffrey Harris, during our freshman year of college, I would’ve kept those thoughts to myself because soon, I would become one of those people.

In my head, I repeatedly asked myself the same question: Why do I keep taking him back? He’s never gonna change. When I heard about women and men staying in an abusive relationship, I wondered what was wrong with them. How could they stay with someone who’d hurt them? Why didn’t they walk away from their abuser? It’s an easy thing to do to walk away in order to keep yourself from getting beat up or worse… killed. If I knew I was going to meet Jeffrey Harris, during our freshman year of college,

I'm about to quote one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, "You're killing me, Smalls!" (The Sandlot, 1993). I never tear up when I read stories but I did this time. I have no idea where you're going with this but I have faith that you'll pull out an unbelievable ending.

Wow, Kevin, so happy I didn't have to wait long...yippee!!! The suspense is killing me if Mark is just sick or if he indeed is infected. Dan loves Mark so much that he would turn just so they could be together forever. I don't want this story to end but I know it has to eventually. Can you give me a timeline so I can prepare myself for that day?

You're killing me here, Kevin. I can't got to work like this. My mind is running a million miles a second as to where Mark might be. You can put me out of my misery by posting the next chapter sometime tonight. That would be great!!!! I know you won't so I'll try to wait as patiently as I can.

I was wondering when Adam was going to tell Mikeal he loved him, sometimes when the time is right, the time is right.

As always, another awesome chapter, Cole. I love Kendra! I can actually picture Roy's thoughts as my own when he wanted to throw a muzzle on her, because I feel the same way sometimes when I talk to my mom. Don't tell her I said that though 'cause I'll deny it!!! Where is Roy taking Chad? I can't wait to get my hands on the next chapter.

What do you do when you're in a relationship that could destroy not only your life but your family? This is the situation the Chambers' brothers find themselves.

Interesting to see where this is going to lead. It's a great first start!

I truly enjoy this story. I realized I read every chapter but forgot to like them. I had to go back to each chapter to do so Can't wait for the Marshall and Lee's chapter!

Awesome first chapter, Cole! Not everyone is blessed with having the kind of relationship Chad and Justin have together. I can't wait for the next chapter. I so want to know what happened...that night!

Cory obviously knew the one thing to say that would hurt Josh the most. I know what I would like to see happen but I'll keep that to myself because you should write this the way you want it to go. I look forward to reading Josh's journey!

It's hard getting over the loss of a loved one and lash out to those you love the most, Luke's mom did it with him and now Luke with Erin. It's going to be a long and hard road for Luke to travel when he feels guilty for what happened with Greg. It's makes it harder to do when you lose the support system you thought you had in friends. Hopefully, Luke will find his way!

I was ecstatic to log on this morning to see a fresh chapter for me to read. I was going crazy there without having an update for Noah for so long. Thanks! I'll try to patiently wait for the next chapter.

Thank you, Cole! As a new writer on GA last year, you were the first person to reach out to me because you saw something in my story and encouraged me to keep writing. I've written a lot firsts with your support. I couldn't have asked for a better beta reader than you. You offer your opinion without forcing it. You've pulled a confidence out of me I didn't know I had when it came to writing. You're the best! I love "Advent". I've reread it at least fifteen times since you've completed the story. Cayden's awesome. Congratulations! You deserve to be recognized for writing such a great story. All the praise is well earned!