C James

Thanks Linxe!!! Yep, in hindsight, I should have delayed a week or two. I haven't told my team what's going to happen in the plot, but, after a few major and imminent events (which will be among the next things they see anyway) occur, I'll explore that option. In many cases, the idea of "if a character packs a book in chapter one, it had better be seen why they did it by chapter 3" is a good one, but in some cases, not. A mystery is one example; in many cases (and the prologue of Circumnavigation is an example) some things can't be revealed for a long time. But... on a small specific item, yes, in general, that's a good rule. It's not one I was able to follow in many cases in Circumnavigation though; one example is setting up what's on board, such as canned hot dogs, many chapters before they became plot relevant. It would IMHO have been far too convenient and implausible had Trevor just acquired, soon before it happened, a bunch of soon-to-be-critical things he'd need to survive the attack and the fight to survive. I do see the downside of a long lead time, I just couldn't figure out any other way to make it plausible and realistic. Thanks!!! Yep, that pneumonia, ugh. I was quite a bit sicker than I let on. I slept for over 20 hours a day for abotu two weeks, and ended up very weak. for about three weeks after that, I was better, but far from right; still weak, and foggy headed (more than normal ). Part of it was the meds. but ugh, it took forever to get over that, and then I was working like crazy to catch up with my job. I figure I lost close to three months of writing time, and then in early summer I had family commitments that pretty much ate up June. I think that, plus racing to catch up, did hurt, and I think I see a solution: In future, I will try to avoid getting pneumonia. Seriously though, that did derail me in a lot of ways, and looking back, it did have more of an effect than I realized, one that lingered, due to having erased my buffer of chapters. (which, thanks fully, is now rebuilt, at least a bit). And yes, the trees of Western Australia would have been safe from Trevor's hard head. But, all things considered, I think Trevor pressing on was the best for all in the story. Jan!!! This is clearly, and unequivocally, not just a spoiler, but a CLIFFHANGER! (I don't use 'em, but I know 'em when I see 'em!) You've now leave TSOI readers HANGING waiting for that chapter... yup, this is a cliffhanger!!!

ACK! goat roasting? I've been studying the recently posted chapters, and one thing I do see is that the flow, including the progression of some plot elements, became erratic and in some cases stalled. Going back over my notes and also remembering when I was writing those chapters, I think I see at least one cause; the chapters I'm least happy with were written when I was struggling to get ahead to avoid any further skipped weeks in posting. Normally I write a few chapters ahead before cutting a chapter out and sending it to beta, but then I wasn't, because I didn't have the buffer of chapters to allow it. I do think quality suffered as a result, and I think the problem persisted even after I caught up again. I've now gone back to my old way of writing chapters, and I find it both easier and better. (and I have the buffer to allow it now, too, so it shouldn't cause any delays). BTW, thanks again to everyone who has weighed in! Please don't be mad at anyone for their opinions; I do after all ask for constructive criticism, so I sincerely thank those who give it.

Welcome, Gene Splicer!! Thanks for joining!!! If I shelved the story for a long spell, I think I'd get lynched. I do actually shelve it from time to time, mainly, as you say, to think things through. Usually, this takes three or four days, and in that time I'm working on a different story. I find this helps a lot. CJ

First off, my sincere thanks to everyone who has weighed in. Someone mentioned (privately) the Harry Potter series. I've never read it, but apparently it has an underlying conflict that spans many books, as well as things that aren't explained until he end. It has quite a few books. As a practical matter, I cannot change the run up to Dec 17th events in a significant way (I did a review last night to be sure). I'm currently writing that, so what comes before is already written, and I don't see much that could be changed without a drastic rewrite and massive plot changes (requiring changes to a ton of posted chapters as well) And after the 17th, everything changes, and the runup to the story finale begins. I probably should, and the reason I don't has nothing to do with trust; I trust my team fully. The reasons I don't are twofold; one is that for many, spoilers of that nature take away their enjoyment of reading, and I am loathe to do that to them. Another reason is I do make changes to plot aspects as I write. One example is Joel; e was originally (in the outline) a minor character and didn't go with Trev to the Med; Trev did the med alone. Once I began writing Joel, it occurred to me that going with him as a major character was a big improvement from what I had, and he filled in a major need in several plot related ways as well. If I'd given out the outline, I'd have felt more constrained to follow the particulars, or I'd have had to notify them that I'd made a change, and it would be unfair to them to expect them to apply changing details to a plot. I've had a plot outline from the start; there was no choice, because the prologue is the key to the entire plot (so I had to know exactly what was going to happen, in detail). But, my outline covers plot more than anything else. For some sections, I drafted them out out of sequence (such as Trevor's crossing of the Indian Ocean) so I would know what he'd need. For example, the canned hot dogs from Gibraltar, and foreshadowing such as the mentions of sundials, showing the valve grinding kit (which he used to sabotage the pirate's engines) etc etc. There were a ton of small details that had to be worked into the story far in advance. Unfortunately, good or bad, the only way I could do much about relationship building scenes would be to rewrite already-posted chapters, because that phase basically ended... hrmm, when they left Rhys Lagoon. For example, they were in chapter 89 for about 12 short paragraphs, I think, and none of it relationship. I do agree with this, to a degree. There are parts I think I could have covered at a faster pace. Some parts, though, serve multiple purposes. Can an everyday event be a major clue? Yep. Have we seen them doing these sort of things in detail in the last couple of posted chapters? Nope. I've never tried a script or play, I'd have no clue as to how. I have written many short stories though, such as these here on my site, and yes, I see what you mean about repetition; writing a short story is very different. I can say that what's going on in Australia isn't extraneous to the plot, as we'll soon see. Thanks. Ben was there for more than just the tour of Atlantis, he was also there for character development for Lisa and Trevor (important, as this was chapter 2) but I did get a lot of inquiries (many thought he'd be a recurring character). So, I wrote a short story as a spin off, called "Ben", because he didn't fit in the Circumnavigation narrative anymore. I am painfully fond of the travelogue aspects; I'm a travel addict, and I love revisiting places in a story that I've seen in person, or occasionally visiting a new place. I've only been to Australia once, years ago, and that was to the eastern coast, so I've never been to Western Australia. That makes writing it a challenge, but a fun one, and I could not do it without Graeme and my Australian friends, who have helped with details that I would otherwise have bungled. I've never seen Shark Bay, but to write this story I did a great deal of research on it, which I found very enjoyable. I had it easy until Trevor left the Seychelles; I'd been to everywhere he went except Taranto, Italy, and the port on the Red Sea after Suez... oh, and Cyprus, that part of it anyway. Hrmm, and the Greek island that was a gunnery range with the unexploded ammo; I've never been there, either, though I've sailed past it. On the other hand, I'd never been to these places in a yacht, so I had a LOT to learn. (going through the Suez in a cruise ship is a vastly different thing than doing a transit in a yacht, to name just one example). Red A has been of more help than I can possibly describe, in many, many ways. He is a true expert. One thing I might do to make both sides (and the author, who loves writing the travelogues) happy; Write them and have them in the chapters, but at the end of the chapter. That way, those who don't like them can skip them. Once again, a big "THANK YOU" to all who have weighed in.

I'll reply in detail to the chapter thread later today, but I want to thank everyone who has weighed in. On the issue of getting bogged down, short version: I have to agree. To be totally (and painfully) honest, my ego reared up when I saw comments like that, for about five seconds, and then I came face to face with the fact they're right. This is a big part of why I invite all criticism; it helps me see things I otherwise would not. This is such a case, and I am thankful for it. An author does not see the story the same way as a reader, so is oft blind to aspects of how it reads. I do think that writing this as a serial makes it harder to control bloat in some ways, and that's squarely an author-caused problem; my team does not know the plot, so they can't know what is, and what is not, needed in that regard. I was happier with the first half of the story, but there's a key difference in how it was written; back then, I was a dozen or more chapters ahead of the posted chapters, and that gave me the chance to go back and edit based on later developments. I lost that buffer of chapters when pneumonia took me out of action for over two months earlier this year. I was extremely ill, and for several weeks I was sleeping for 20+ hours a day, and then I had to catch up on work, etc, while slowly recovering. End result; about three months worth of writing time shot to hell. I've been struggling to play catch up ever since. In so doing, I've gotten long winded on things that should have been done more concisely, plus the flow is poorer as well. Now, how to fix it? As a purely practical matter, I have the problem of a few (4) already-completed chapters in beta and editing; if I scrap them for a deep re-write, we're looking at putting the story on hiatus for a month or more. I can say for sure that all chapters starting with the one I'm currently writing WILL benefit from the current feedback, but I'm in a quandary about what to do on the written but not yet posted ones. I'll review them this afternoon, and try to figure out how I could change them without screwing up the big reveal (which is what I'm currently writing). I'll see what I can figure out, and post my findings in the thread. The crux of the problem is I can't just whack scenes; they all tie in (just like the current chapter and other recent ones) to the resolution. I'd need to rewrite to get the same info across more briefly, and see what bits could be omitted. There are a lot of characters. I know that's confusing and I don't like it. I do try to minimize extraneous scenes (that's why we don't see Jim and Dirk too often, and when we do it's brief, and why Lisa and Joel aren';t seen as much) but, yeah, there are a lot, and in many locations. Some are just brief; the crew of the Antarctic Star, for example, are just there for the garlic crusher and won't be back after that. Could I have covered that in a briefer way? Yes. Should I have? Yes. The good news on that front is we see the crew of the antarctic star again, for two paragraphs, then no more. But, they ended up taking up a whole hell of a lot more page space than I intended, and I could have done better with that. Could I have shortened the scene with Kline and Fowler striking their deal? Yes. I'm sure I could have, but it's the how that eludes me (any input on this would be very welcome!). It was not originally that long, but it came across (to me) as too... convenient, I guess would be the way to say it, that Kline just up and swapped sides, as it were. So, I filled it in and expended it to show his motivations. To show why Kline was willing to cooperate, and also to show that he's complex in that he's not just some evil guy, but a man who is moral by his own standards, though his standards are different from most. Sometimes, characters come and go. They are there for a reason, and then we see them no more, such as Ben in chapter 2, who was in the story mainly so that Trevor could give him, and thus the readers, a tour of Atlantis. I needed to do that because it has a layout that is vastly different from how most people would imagine a yacht, in ways that are plot critical. But, after that, his job done, Ben left the story. The same is true for the people Trevor met at various places in the Med; once they were no longer in the plot, they were gone. I even skirt the bounds of reality to keep to a minimum; we see only Fowler and Grundig of the Carnarvon Customs office. In reality, there are at least six officers there, working in shifts. I allude to this briefly, but arranged things so I could keep the actual recurring characters to Fowler and Grundig (otherwise we'd have six, not two, in their role). One thing I would like to do, and I'll start a thread for at the appropriate time, is after the big reveal, ask for opinions on which characters and scenes could have been omitted. Any that do not play a major role in it would of course be prime candidates. In the meantime though, at the very least, starting with the chapter I'm currently writing, there will be changes that I hope improve the readability and flow, plus of course speed the passage of time (days of story time per chapter). I very much welcome anyone and everyone to weigh in on this; nothing is off-limits. I'm looking first and foremost for advice, but any thoughts or opinions would be very welcome. Edit to add: a fast read through of the coming 4 chapters indicates that a massive rewrite would be required to condense them, due to heavy interrelationships with what's coming when the entire back-story is reveled, but... one option is to improve flow and continuity by remixing those chapters, and making them three instead of four. This would not result in any delays in the posting schedule. CJ

And before I forget... I wanted to ask; would releasing the title early, as I usually do,l have been a big spoiler in this case, or was I worried for nothing?

I'm very constrained as to what I can say (I can't give spoilers) but I can say that there won't be any wild coincidences when all is explained (I hate coincidences). And BTW, we get all the mysteries solved and explained on (story time) dec 17th, which is coming up fast (It's well into December in the story already). When that chapter of Trevor's pirate encounter posted, a lot of people did think he was a gonner. I've got the hate mail to prove it. Hrmmm? At least one of my short stories ends in death for the protagonist (and I can think of at least one where he's a teen). But, you're right as far as novels go... Hrmmm... but for how long? Well, okay, so we did see that perhaps Sanchez's calling in life isn't being the perfect host of fun cocktail parties... but maybe he'll get better with practice. As for Basingstoke, Hampshire... I've been there. I was only there for half a day, and it was a few years ago (I was driving from London to Cornwall after a late transatlantic flight that got in late, and needed somewhere to stay that wasn't too far from London) and it seemed okay to me... (admittedly, only being there for half a day, it could have been horrible and I wouldn't know) and it had what I thought was an awesome restaurant (I love UK Indian food! Yum!!!) Other than that, I don't remember too much about it... except I did end up going the wrong direction for a bit when I left, after getting confused by the roundabouts. (the sign post on one pointed at a funny angle to a road, and it turned out to be the wrong road, it must have meant the other one, which was the road towards Salsburry, which is what I was trying to get on).

A Deal with the Devil is up. And Wildone: see? It wasn't called "Death on the Kookaburra" after all.

Chapter 89: A Deal with the Devil On Tuesday morning, Greg Fowler donned his uniform, even though it was his day off. He knew he had to do something, but had only a vague notion as to what. After being delayed by a call from Officer Gonzalez, Fowler drove directly to Carnarvon’s small jail. He didn’t like what he was about to do, but could see no other options. He signed in with the jailer, and made his simple request. “I want to talk to Jason Kline – alone.” After a short chat with t

You're right, Trevor and Shane could well be long gone by the time Basingstoke gets better intel... assuming he even actually goes to Carnarvon, WA, and not Tasmania. See? Nothing to worry about, so no cliffhanger, right? Basingstoke is just the name he's known to Sanchez and a few others by. In his business, he probably changes names more than socks. I referred to him at first as "the man known to some as Basingstoke" but for simplicity, in the narration, I now just call him Basingstoke. Sanchez is similar; that's just an alias, too.

Things are spiraling towards everything coming together on Dec 17th, story time, and it's already well into December. And yeah, it's taking me a lot longer to get then then I thought it would.

Thanks! It's taking me longer than I thought it would to pull the pieces together... Basingstoke was supposed to make his airborne appearance ONE chapter after Sanchez's second call to him. But, we're getting close to the 17th of December, as I'm writing that now.

Okay, all of you, relax!! You're just jumping to conclusions! We've known for a while that Basingstoke had a 50-50 chance of going to the wrong place, so all was well... and, in this case, he'd need to head southeast to get to Tasmania, but he's heading southwest. We can't rule out that he's just a poor navigator, or just wants to take the scenic route... Also, a note to low flyer; if you line up Halls Creek and Newman, and extend the line past Newman, you don't hit Carmarvon! You'd come out on Shark Bay, at Hamelin Pool, and if you kept going a little more, you'd hit Rhys Lagoon, but not Carnarvon, so no worries. Besides, as Martin Blake mentioned, Kookaburra is fairly safe in Shark Bay, and the main danger would be being spotted from the air. Now where would Basingstoke get a plane? See? Nothing to worry about!

Those aren't cliffhangers! Those are merely as-yet unsolved mysteries, though... every single one of them gets solved rather soon. I'm sure Trevor would welcome seeing his garlic crusher again. BTW, Benji, great point on the maps!!! I'll update them in coming chapters, once Shark Bay is no longer a factor. Your mention of this reminded me that I have some graphics to make. Thanks!

Preposterous! A goat would never do anything illegal!!

Perhaps he's just a really bad navigator?

Bogus how??? :blink: Hrmmm! A case of mistaken identity? Encountering some hapless soul who bears a resemblance to Trevor and Taking the wrong head? Interesting, but what are the chances that any random, so far unknown thief would be there right at that instant AND look like Trevor? That would be one heck of a set of coincidences... And Benji, how can not releasing the chapter title be a cliffy? :blink: It's just the the wording gives away something that happens. It's not a bad thing, just an event... Yep! See? Talonrider confirms that it's not a cliffhanger!!!! It's not a cliffhanger! We don't know where Basingstoke is going, but at least we now know where he is, which we didn't before, so it's sort of an anti-cliffhanger. We do know that Basingstoke is heading for either Carnarvon Bay, Tasmania, or Carnarvon, Western Australia, but there was a 50-50 chance he's choose Tasmania with his coin toss. CJ

As tempting as it might be to read the threads and then put out false leads, I don't. I do, however, sometimes make changes to the amount and strength of clues based on the threads; if, say, a huge, huge clue goes totally unnoticed, I then make related coming clues a bit stronger. Also, these threads let me know how things are coming across, which helps, too. I do also use the forum threads to clarify or correct some views, such as when something is misperceived as a cliffhanger, but nobody listens to me... CJ

From Bad to Worse is up. Don't worry about the title; though it might sound ominous, it might mean something utterly unrelated. BTW, I normally release the title of the next chapter in the thread mid-week, but in this case, I can't, because it would be a bit of a spoiler. However, this is nothing to worry about. It doesn't mean it's something ominous. In fact, I can safely mention that this chapter, like every other, as been certified as entirely cliffhanger free, including by our resident frog, MikeL. CJ

Chapter 88: From Bad to Worse Fowler was only halfway back to Carnarvon after dropping Trevor off when he received a call from Constable White, to let him know that the meeting between the prosecutor and the magistrate – a judge – had occurred. Constable White got to the point. “Greg, Kline has lawyered up and won’t answer any questions, so we’re getting nothing from him. The prosecutor explained your suspicions to the magistrate and suggested the magistrate meet with you, but his honor d

Then he says this Ahhem! I told the truth! The next chapter isn't named "From Bad to Worse" it's named "From Bad to Worse" The latter is in bold... So it';s different.

Well, if the manuscript is Shane's, it has to be him adding any perceived cliffhangers, because we all know that I'd never ever have anything to do with a cliffhanger. And remember, you yourself have scolded the nefarious Benji for implying that I use cliffhangers... just see the last line of my sig for the quote. Now, this may be an ingenious avoidance tactic on the part of CJ but it deflects none of the blame for these atrocities from where it clearly lies - at the cloven feet of The Goat as he happily taps his evil and cruel ideas into his keyboard (presumably specially adapted). Furthermore, ingenuity is no defence for criminal wrongdoing - as previously stated (and which was not denied by The Goat) there is no court that would not convict The Goat of his serial wrongdoings on this website. He may deny, prevaricate and bleat his innocence but forum readers know better - we see his guilt for what it is: devious, calculated and without remorse But Zombie!!! "Night of The Mob" was just a joke, played by Shane on Trevor, nothing bad happened! And how could I write in Australian... most here will readily accuse me of having trouble enough with American English, the only language that I speak... And isn;t it fair to blame those that do the crimes (Bridget, Sanchez, etc) for their misdeeds? I see no reasonable way that it could be my fault! And I do indeed deny that anyone would convict me of such a trumped-up charge! I'm absolutely innocent!!

Maelstrom of horrors? What makes you think that? The calm before the storm? What storm? It's not like the next chapter is named "From Bad to Worse"... and even if it was, it could mean something utterly unrelated and inconsequential. Cruel things to come? That's because there aren't any! You know that nothing bad ever happens in my stories... The receptionist was indeed a bit miffed; she's not used to deviations from procedure. It is to be hoped that all this won't make her curious. And yep, Dirk finally asked the pertinent question; if Trevor is no longer a target, why is Bridget still being so accommodating? Unfortunately, there's more than one answer to that question, but they are getting closer... Me? Holding onto secrets? All will be revealed, in detail, on the 17th. ************************************ Okay, now, time for the next chapter title. First, let me say that although it might sound just a tad ominous, one should bear in mind my penchant for misleading titles. It's really nothing to worry about it. The title is "From Bad to Worse". BTW, the chapter after it will not have the title revealed in advance, out of spoiler concerns. CJ

Cliffhangers? This latest chapter was entirely tension-free, let alone cliffhangers! There's nothing to worry about: Basingstoke hasn't even been mentioned in a few chapters, so he's no worry. And... if your theory that Shane wrote the story is correct, then it's "Shane strikes again!" right?

I made it extra large, because much was indeed background and setup, or in the case of the psych, stating to wind down that plotline. And there are some pretty big clues buirid in the chapter, too.