Jason Rimbaud

Join the club of ramblings, I do seem to hold the patent on ramblings but Queen Cassie is super friendly and never yells at you or anything. She's like fluffy bunny slippers, always relaxing and comforting. That's why she's the queen!

I spent most of my life being blamed for one thing or another. Nearly every instance, the blame was headed in the right direction. Brandon is one of my favorite characters, Along with Justin, a story that hasn't been posted yet, they are opposite but have the same beating heart. I actually look forward to getting your thoughts about this story.

Okay, so I must have skipped this story due to not being fantastical, not the writing, but the setting. I do love your fantasy stories. So when I started it, I couldn't figure out what Rule #3 meant. And you dirty queen, you, you sucked me right in. I was thinking it was something else, you know what I'm referring to, but instead this is a wonderful thrupple? story. So, Ryland, what a cutie pie. The interplay with the sister and then the slow, almost lazy way, suddenly he realized he was in love when he knew he shouldn't be. I have been in the front row seat in many open relationships, and it's usually a wonderful trainwreck just waiting to happen. But to see a happy ending, no pun intended, was just wonderful. You write smut, I bow before you even as I knew I would. I write porn, I lost, as I knew I would.

We should get one thing set from the beginning. The author knows how to write; this is not about whether or not Tony is a talented writer, amazing wordsmith, or any of the other ways you can say, good writer. He is all that. He is talented. But don't let relief at finally getting something other than repeated scenes sway you from your original thought. You were not wrong about the pacing; it is too drawn out. Too many repetitive scenes, too many filler chapters where nothing happens. How many times did Matt and Kitt have the same conversation? How many times did Tom and Kitt have the same conversation? How many scenes were Matt and KItt looking at the same bright star and somehow knowing what the other was saying/feeling? How many times did it look like Matt and/or Kitt had a revelation at the end of the chapter, only to fall back into the same exact thing in the next chapter? The parents aren't the only ones who could report a teenager missing. One call to Child Protective Services would have that ball rolling. Like a swimming star could disappear halfway through a school year without anyone contacting some authority is not believable. I could go on venting frustrations about this story, but you'd forget all the good things the author included. The raw emotion, the years of mental abuse from his father, Kitt would very much behave in this manner. He would hide; he wouldn't want to confront anyone from that past. His coping mechanism was to stay invisible. To exist. I think Kitt's storyline, while drawn out by at least twelve chapters, is spot on to what a seventeen-year-old would do. And the emotion you feel when he finally breaks upon seeing Matt is wonderful. I had tried to say this yesterday but I was still frustrated as I read the entire story in a single setting. But after thinking about the story for most of the night, I can understand what Tony was attempting to do. And I think he did what he wanted to do, and if you look at the views, they are pretty consistent, so people at least continued to read the story. And isn't that what any author wants? But for me. I have come to the end. I respect the writer, I respect his vision, but I think I'll go back and reread some of his other stories instead.

I'm currently on Chapter 22, I stopped commenting as I think it would just turn negative. I deleted too many paragraphs as it turned negative. In my attempt to articulate why this story bothers me it started to feel mean. So I'll say I love this author's other stories, and this one is my least favorite. Enough said.

I'm having trouble with this story. I understand the concept of a slow burn, and I understand the author is showing changes over time, but there are so many repetitive phrases and situations that I find myself skipping whole paragraphs because it feels like I already read them. We are six chapters into this story with barely any dialogue, and what little dialogue we have been given is repeating dialogue from earlier chapters. I have read and enjoyed so many of this author's earlier stories and don't understand why there was a need or a decision to change styles so drastically. It makes me think of those FB stories that never seem to end. I will keep reading, but unless something happens outside of two boys sitting on a lake barely talking, I might have to wait for another story where hopefully the author goes back to his previous style.

I love how you've accepted the Fabulous One! One point for me!

And steal Queen Cassie's idea. I'm scared of her for a reason you know! .

Or white lab coats with gleeful faces...run faster.

Before we get further into this story, I have a theory. And if I'm write/right Queen Cassie, please don't spoil it for me. Malik gets whisked away to a wonderful land filled with exotic whiskey, unlimited hot wings, and wonderfully free boys who are there just to please him. I know that sounds amazing, but what I haven't said yet, when Malik goes through, he becomes like a Ken doll and must go on a quest to find his down there parts so he can enjoy this marvelous land. There's a half-lizard, half-kangaroo that wears fuzzy sweaters with a zipper down the back. He smokes a cigar backwards and guides Malik to the inside out land where his down there parts are hidden behind a glass without a handle. With the help of thirteen gerbils who came to this world on a pink spaceship, Malik finally wins his down there parts and we live happily ever after. I could be wrong, and I'm waiting on pins and also needles where this story goes. .

I don't have it, but when I read a story that has some version of church service every Sunday I feel like I do have PTSD. I am currently writing/righting a story loosely based on my childhood and re-living those memories makes me feel raw around the edges. Matt must be a special kind of dude. In high school, especially, like always attracts like. If I was Kitt, I'd be asking about motivations. But since I'm not writing/righting this story, I'm sure its nothing neferious. . Matt is the kind of person I do not like, I am drawn to the Kitt's of the world. Quiet, ordered, hidden, those are the traits that dominated my life in high school. To say I was a ghost would be the understatement, but I was avoided. And in that case, I think was worse. I'd take a Kitt everyday over a Matt. I've never read anything from you before, you have an easy style that is almost melodic that is comforting to read. I am enjoying this muchly.

Well thank you for checking it out. But I'm a silly writer that gets up to lots of silliness in my stories. Though I did try and make this a bit more realistic than my average fair. This story is complete and usually posts each Saturday.

Lets get this out of the way...this is so freaking gross! . Now to the story. I can see where you said this was a short one off story. The first two chapters build up until Jesse submits, in the middle of pig shit. Super gross! . We get the idea that Jesse has given up running. That he might have found his forever home with Hank, and the pig shit. Great writing with a hot sex scene if you forget where they were. I do love where your mind goes and if you had ended it here, I would not be disappointed, as you fulfilled the promise you made in chapter one. Really fun, hot read with two characters that seemed perfect for each other. I do enjoy your writing.

So I read most of Big Paws, and as everyone knows, I'm not a fan of werewolves err shifters. So I never finished that story, you lost me when you got heavy into the lore. By the way, not a failure of your writing, just shifters aren't real like vampires. But I do enjoy your writing a lot. And in this story, you write with short, punchy, descriptions that work for the story you are attempting to tell. He didn't eat; he inhaled, head down, guarding the bowl with his elbows like someone might snatch it away. This line just hits hard with the emotion of someone who had to fight for everything. Powerful narrative that gives so much detail in a single sentence. Hank, not my type, but Jesse is right down my alley. I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.

And that this shooter did not run away as they thought. But stuck around, one could say, even eavesdrop on their conversation. Gabriel seems to be inside an ever-shrinking sphere, and Sean invited him to dinner. Who is Fred and what does he have to do with all this? There seems to be two distinct camps in Mysterious Neon, the crazy antics of James and Charlie, whatever the hell is going on between DJ and Michael, with Sean floating through it without being part of either one. Let's see what happens when all these people plus Gabriel is put inside a room. Depending on how this is received, and right/write now, not too many people seem to be enjoying this one, there is a plotted sequel but we shall see if I ever get around to writing it. Sean seems to keep things close to the vest, so he might keep that to himself and let Gabriel flounder around in his lies. .

I do enjoy tales about magic and ancient rituals. Where as we didn't get much in the way of anything yet, there are hints of a mystery that I would check out in the next chapter.

This is a good deduction. And while I know the answers to the question, I like the direction your logic seems to be leading you. I won't give anything away, but you are correct, Gabriel is highly dangerous. I had an entire paragraph written about your next statement. But I think it gave too much away. Instead, I'll say I love the guesses and theories. Getting all the twists and turns to make sense logically was a daunting challenge for me. I want people not to be able to figure out what's going on until the reveal, but if anyone would ever read it back, I wanted some clues to be in the narrative to prove I wasn't making things up as I went. I laid out each twist and mystery from the beginning, with detailed notes to ensure I didn't forget anything. This version I am posting is version seven, so I hope I have caught any mistakes. For the most part, this story was finished about three years ago. But in this latest posting, I have added a few new elements that were not included in the original narrative. Most of it was Mysterious Neon, whose role I expanded on because I knew @chris191070 would be demanding more sex. .

Well no one seems to think that Mehmet is working with Homeland Security. Maybe its a cabal and they are interfering with the upcoming election. And Gabriel is deep undercover, or he's a double agent. Damn, this story is starting to get good, I can't wait to see who is who and what the fuck is going on with these characters. .

1. 51 F 2. Never ( I don't go out in the sun. I'm 51 with zero wrinkles or sun damage) 3. Family Guy then American Dad as I fell asleep (who knows what I listened to whilst sleeping, but I awoke to Thunderbirds) 4. Lots of books, hardcovers and paperbacks 5. I only read stories digitially on GA, otherwise its a book 6. The Wheel of Time Robert Jordan

It seems to be the growing theory that Gabriel does not work for Homeland. Then why would Fred lie, if Gabriel is wanted, then he would have kept quiet and not say anything. This is very poor writing if you ask me. Again, no more sex for our protagonists. Lets focus on saving the Senator. .

One could argue the reason Gabriel is making so many mistakes is because of Sean, and as Scott keeps saying, Gabriel's distracted and not handling business.

Seems like many people are not very good at their job in this story. Maybe I'm writing a comedy and didn't know it. .

I shouldn't be mentioned alongside any of these authors, especially the FO, though she wrongly believes we are even, I couldn't hold their collective pencil sharpeners.

That's a great theory. Fred might be looking at a promotion, and if Gabriel is wanted, he keeps the man in the dark as they close in for the kill. Let's see if you're right. Whoever this man is, Gabriel better be watching out. This shooter knows where Gabriel lives now and doesn't seem to care about innocents being hurt.

It would seem so. Maybe he isn't good at what he does, and his delusions. Not as good as Dolt though. I had thought to make this more than just a one off story, but no one is really reading it. So once it's finished, I'll move onto another story that's nearly finished. What a great idea. Maybe Gabriel has the worlds first detachable dick. .