MrM

Outside of time, he would have been my ideal. The eleven year old to my eleven year old. Perhaps, beyond death and in the ever falling and lifting of the snowflakes of reality that cycle through earth's time, our spirits will align and become those that meet under the northern lights of Heaven. Time is a cruel illusion. It belies the reality beyond the veil. I have seen the platinum hair and the crystal blue eyes. I have seen the dream made flesh. I know such things can be . . . it is only a calculus of vibrations and courage that can make two souls meant to be one find and complete each other. May we all find and catch the snowflakes made for us. The snowflakes that fall over the forest at Christmas, under the phosphorescent sky over the eternal white. Merry Christmas. May the gift of love come to us all through all the realms of time and space.

Yay!!!

What drama???

Self-sufficient as we may be, we can be VERY insistent when we want attention!

I once did but no longer do. My hangups were religious. In the general mindfack that is Catholicism, to even harbor 'impure thoughts' about sinful sexual practice is a sin. Sex can only exist inside of marriage for the purpose of making babies. Its existence in any other way is almost always sin. Hence the root of our Western World's deep seeded mistrust and fear of sex. Hence my fear and mistrust of it. I got to where I was so riddled with guilt for who I was and what I wanted that I became suicidal . . . which is also a sin! Cruel, ya think? So, basically, God, who invented sex for us to do, hates it and doesn't want any of us doing it. What? Anyways, so that I could survive, I threw that crap out of my head, came out, and lived happily ever after or whatever. Now my only hangup about talking about sex is the jaundiced attitudes of others about it and the fear that I might 'corrupt' somebody. I keep silent in respect to them, but, if those people aren't around I'm perfectly happy talking about anything sexual or writing about it. My revised attitudes about sex can be illustrated by my feelings about going into adult toy stores those being that, basically, I have no feelings about it. I now go in like I'm going to a 7/11 to pick up ding dongs just these are different kinds of ding dongs. I will often have some friends with me and I'll stop by my favorite one. They get weirded out and hesitate before finally coming in with me to look at the products being sold. The clinical way the sales guy always explains the toys is so frank and matter of fact that it puts you at immediate ease. You realize just how mechanical sex is and how natural. There's nothing to be ashamed of and usually that releases my friends from their hang ups too.

I was pretty much a monk for most of my life. Thanks AIDS. Monastic sexuality can be quite safe if done right.

This just made me melt like cheese despite it being about '2 Below'. Gentle, sweet, and uncomplicated: this story feels like a warm hug and a cup of literary hot chocolate.

It's near Christmas 2017 and, like all Christmas classics, this def still holds up!

It's even a playlist! It has a whole bunch of songs!

Don't you make me fly up to Chicago in that weather and take you out to get drunk! I don't do snow!

I think it also has to do with the content of a particular piece you are working how long it takes. For instance, currently I'm working a chapter of Snowflake, which usually is 10k+ words, and it's a very involved chapter. I'm having to chip away at it bit by bit. Some days I can barely get down a paragraph. I'll admit lately that I've been struggling with some major distractions, but also this part of the story is a turning point so it would take a while regardless. The wise would say I should have written this all beforehand and then published in a. controlled way, but . . . then I wouldn't get any feedback, so. I feel ya, Comsie. But I think you know that and I'm afraid your detractors will never answer this plea for understanding. They love hit and run tactics. Bloody terrorists!

~tsk~ I wish you wouldn't beat on yourself in a way that causes pain (notice how I phrased that?) Take comfort, if you wish, in the fact that your works have so deeply touched me that I needed to respond in kind with a story to echo Billy Chase and I've gotten my fair share of criticism about it. The main one, of course being, that it comes forth too slowly. I take that as a backhanded compliment. It's frustrating to have to wait for good Barbecue to get done, but it's so worth it when it is and done right! Rush the BBQ master and you'll end up with a burnt brisket and a very pi$$ed off cook! I know I can't set things to a schedule. I have a job. I have a sick dad. I have a community and friends that need attention. I write for fun and I write to share so I can only work within the boundaries of what is not stressful to me and where it becomes 'work'. I work hard enough, I want my writing to be that happy place I go that I can then share with others who want to go to my 'Happy Place' with me. Trust me, you don't want to go to my 'Unhappy Place'. A couple of my stories have gone there and it's NOT pretty! ```` In other news, I may be the only one, but I really empathize with poor old Jimmy. Jimmy could be my neuotic dark half where Brandon is my neurotic light half. Jimmy's plight so affected me that I even composed a playlist to 'tell' his story of desperation. ^ See? This is what Comsie's stuff makes me do!

That's the genius of Billy Chase! All that intelligence brought to bear on something like the complexities of relationships and, due to lack of experience, it all goes wrong! This is how teens deal! I remember! I thunk lots of great thunks and STILL got stuff wrong cause it was nothing to do with how smart a person is but how much stuff someone's gone through in their lives. Relationships are all about wisdom!

Détente I imagine is our arrangement at the moment

I'm sort of in that situation right now. There is a guy that's been working me for a couple of years now. I love him like a brother and I consider him a dear friend . . . but, he want's more. It helps me to feel desireable which is something that I never feel, but, at the same time, I just don't have those kinds of feelings for him. He knows this, but continues to try. I've given him opportunities to show me 'his stuff', but he doesn't take the bait. I wanted to see if something could grow from such an encounter, but no . . . Its tragic really. I might have to write a story to process it one day.

Hopefully Brandon can be the bigger man in all this. Too much is riding on this to eff it up now. Poor teenagers! 💙

There's no greater gift in the world than love and acceptance. I'm all verklempt now! ~fans face~

I just called to say I love you. I just called to say how much I care. I just called to say I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart!

YIKES!

I can only think of Cyndi Lauper's 'Shine' when I read this! The freedom of being Out is so wonderful!

It was so embarrasing to be the only one in the locker room with hair down there.

We can compromise and have the flag double as a towel. If you've never seen a surfer do 'The Towel Trick' then you are in for a treat sometime.

Oh, absolutely. Californians hate clothes.