northie

I feel this more than anything else, I think. We forget sometimes what a profound effect modern interconnectedness can have on us. The internet has revolutionised the pursuit of self-knowledge. And rightly so. Ignorance is not bliss.

Fabulosa! by Paul Baker is a wonderful book / history / vocab / study of Polari.

After the comparatively louche and progressive 1920s and 30s, plus the wartime 'anything goes', the 1950s were a time of attempted retrenchment. Women were meant to be back in the house where they belonged, and this pressure for conformity (uniformity) also extended to men. To navigate those times as someone who didn't conform must've been difficult enough without the punitive, vindictive measures applied to those whose non-conformity extended to their sexuality and gender identity. Indefensible then, and now, in those countries where it's still going on. All these individuals wanted to do was to live their lives. What is it about difference that so scares / enrages people? Thank you for this story. Sad, touching, with that special 1950s grey gloom, it rings true. I love language and Polari is special. There's still a generous scattering of words in admittedly rather faded general slang.

Celebrating as you want celebrate should always be the norm. Even if it's something significant, it's your choice. Surprise parties can be an imposition from hell. 😬😄 It's a testament to their relationship that these two guys still find so much pleasure in each other's company. Would that it was always like this. Thanks for the story.

This essay is unique only because it is my story, and not someone else's. So many other queer individuals will have their own story to tell. Thank you for telling me what my story meant to you, Adi. It's the sort of response I hoped for when I wrote the piece.

Yes. I initially joined GA to comment on A-Z, I think. And everything followed on. Thanks for reading.

@Headstall Dear Gary, you can write comments of any length. I read them all. 🤨😄 As usual, people's contributions have been fascinating, and yours in particular. Did I think I was being brave writing this essay? No. It was more something of this sort had been brewing for a while. Scrabbling around for something to write after my main (supposed) entry took on a life of its own, this struck me as something different. An essay. Creative non-fiction. For the first time in an antho? I'm out in my online persona. Some rl friends realise I'm not straight and if they asked me, I'd say. But I don't think I'll ever tell my family. They don't know about my writing either because it's so inextricably tied up with who I am. 🤷‍♂️ Thank you. That's what I hoped for when I wrote this.

Nobody is under an obligation to apply a label to themselves. If you find one that fits, great. Otherwise, even finding where you think you are on the spectrum is an achievement. I'm glad my essay contributed to your inner conversation. 😊

No, it's not. And if you don't fit within the then generally accepted queer categories, it's even more isolating. The last ten years have seen an explosion in general understanding of gender and sexuality with terms becoming part of everyday language which allowed me to find a label.

It is - a story site that I imagine, pervades people's lives in more ways than that. I know it does mine.

👀😄 Maybe there should be a competition to guess which bits? Thank you for your comment. 😊

Thanks for reading. 😊

That's a trial of being so popular. 🤨😄 But there again, if you don't keep things fresh, there's a chance your creativity will dry up. While I understand the urge to keep readers on board, I think I'd follow where my muse takes me. If they follow, they follow; if they don't, I have no doubt you'll find other, different fans. Anyone following me and expecting a consistent focus of content are in for a surprise.

Not being an habitué of CJ's world, I perhaps didn't get as much out of the story as many of your other readers will have done. What it did do, as I read through, was to make me think of where we'll be in 25 years' time. I love your optimism, your belief that inclusion and acceptance will be a signal part of American society. That the only way is up. I can't help looking at those who'd drag the US back to a mythical 1950s - a fascist, plutocratic theocracy - and wonder. Maybe that's just come from where we are in the world today. Your 'family' seems to be a constant source of inspiration for you, Carlos and for that, I'm very happy.

Dear friend, if my scribbles are in any way 'delectable' 👀, you must share part of the blame. 😉😊

That's true, especially as we get older. There are too many people who take next to no notice of the world and what's going on - good and bad.

Yes, indeed. It's a world that's probably broadened your horizons, made you think about stuff, and has pushed you to improve. Never mind it's given your legion of fans countless hours of entertainment and yes, fantasy. 🤨😄 Thanks, Carlos, I appreciate your good wishes.

We are indeed. Thanks for reading. 😊

Yes. Whether it's a space to escape everyday life, acknowledge parts of yourself which'll otherwise remain hidden, or to simply connect with other people in a safe arena, GA is woven into the fabric of many people's lives

Yes. In my case, even if I'd had the emotional / sexual self-knowledge, there was no general language then to describe who I am.

I imagine that'll be the case for a lot of people. Then certainly, and now, to a lesser extent. Knowledge doesn't automatically equal happiness.

Thanks for reading!

Like last week...

To come out is to make a personal declaration. Maybe you’ll enlighten only yourself. Maybe it’ll become general news. Or, perhaps, you’ll choose to tell a select few friends or family. Whatever happens, many queer people see coming out as their chance to live an authentic life. That it’s still a thing says a lot about the societies in which we live. Why should sexual orientation or gender identity be so defining? Is one set of characteristics really so much better than any other?

The internet can change your life in so many ways. Here's how GA helped change mine.