LarryT
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Everything posted by LarryT
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Although I figured the "out" was coming, it still took me by surprise. I guess I wasn't expecting the hammer to hit so soon. At least Ben seems to be handling it well so far, but maybe he's experiencing shock right now and it will hit him harder later. I'm worried how things will be when he's off the ranch and away from Travis... Will his feelings be strong enough to carry him through the pressures of the spotlight? It won't be easy for him no matter what. Travis might need to be HIS pillar of strength now. So many questions and "what ifs" still out there. Cliffhangers! Anxiously awaiting the next chapter, Mac!
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Really great story. In the end Franco got exactly what he deserved in a way that would punish him the most. Very good scheming on the lead character's part, and very well written on the author's part.
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Tender, sweet and unexpected. What begins as a heart wrenching bully story turns into a story of hope, love and friendship. The Valentine card was the perfect transition for us to find out more about Peter. Really well done!
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Cruel joke, but I've seen some ugly April Fools stunts out there in the world and this one was at least short-lived. I loved the set-up of the story and getting to know a little about the main character before the events started happening. For being such a short story I felt invested in Andy's plight from the beginning, so that makes a great story, IMO. And I figure that Jayce and the pretend-Jayce knew each other previously, so maybe there's a friendship there for Andy with her (if he can overcome his exasperation about the whole thing). Great job on this.
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What everyone else said-- intense chapter! You dropped all of the emotions right down center into this one. There was a lot that needed to be said and you made the dialogue happen in a natural and powerful way. Honesty has opened up for them and now everyone (Katy included??) can start to heal hopefully. That dream sequence, wow! Am I the only one who was thrown off by that? It wasn't about a homeless person but Ben's mind playing tricks on him. The black birds coming out of the guys mouth?? and that bathroom stall scene... sheesh. Someone needs to dream analyze. Excellent chapter, Mac!
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I agree, very powerful. So much said in so little space while at the same time leaving us wanting more! Bring it on! (But like droughtquake said, priority to Dissonance!)
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I really enjoyed the imagery of the calf being born and the open meadow and sunset. I could just imagine Ben's reaction to seeing all of that for the first time. It's the sort of situation that pulls him and Travis a step closer because of shared experiences- he gets to view life through Travis' eyes a little more with each passing day. I hope that Travis gets that same chance with Ben's life. Uncle Ed's character makes me sick mostly because I've had similar relatives/people in my life. Toxic and better to stay away from whenever possible. And the mysterious return of Eric at the end?? Where the heck did he come from? What will Travis do? How am I supposed to wait for the next chapter now?
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Vernal touches and savory whispers... love it. I almost get a sense of the spiritual in this poem, like a lost love who's now a spirit maybe? Definitely a theme of longing. Great poem.
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Like others have said, I'm not sure what the future holds for these guys, but I'll remain hopeful that it won't be all sad and "dissonant". To me, there's hope in the fact that Ben is accepting of Travis, and Travis is feeling more tender and loving towards him. Despite the usual tension that seems to circle them, you introduced some sweet moments (and smokin' HOTNESS!) to this chapter. Damn you write a sex scene good.
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Very interesting short story, Mac. You have a gift for the erotic - whew! I now have a few images to go to bed to tonight. The fact that you don't spell everything out (show don't tell, as Val said) makes it that much more interesting, because we as the readers get to use our imaginations to fill in the blanks. And fill in we shall (or at least I shall, lol). Thanks for gifting us with another piece of your writing.
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Great chapter here, Mac! I'm going to guess that Jack definitely recognized Ben for who he is and that's why he acted so stunned about seeing him show up to shake his hand. Talk about throwing the guy for a loop! He probably thought he was seeing things. I agree with Val, Ben was brave to do it. I guess he didn't want to see the struggle escalate. I also like that Audra kind of stood up for Ben in the beginning, even though her deeper intentions still seem questionable to me. Anyway, great read as always. Larry
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Aw Mac, you even made me tear up a little with this chapter. I've been rooting for these two since the beginning. Travis showing a "softer" side was very touching, but I know he's got a long way to go still. I almost wondered if maybe he was emotional because of just having been with Jack beforehand and all the stress surrounding his personal anxieties. Hope Ben keeps his softer side going too. I can't wait for the next chapter, wish it was coming out now! Lol. Thanks for the awesome writing, as always.
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And so the dance continues... I agree with what Parker said, the title Dissonance fits well for this story, there's so much conflict everywhere you turn it can be maddening at times. You're very good at moving the story along at a steady pace with very little down time for us to catch our breath. We never know what's around the corner. I like that Travis is trying to let down his walls and Ben is somewhat receptive to it, but it still feels a bit hopeless I'm afraid. And Audra and Bryan offer up a whole other level of conflict in all of this. Another great read, Mac. Thanks!
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I get the feeling this is very personal to you. While reading I almost felt like I was peeking into something I shouldn't have, but you opened a door and allowed us in, so thank you for that. It's sad and beautifully written.
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Outstanding, Mac. This gave me chills, I kind of speed-read through it the first time because I was so anxious, but I went back and read through it again and caught a few things I missed the first time. For instance, Travis implying that Curtis knows about his sex-for-hire with the other ranchers but keeps his mouth shut because he likes getting the money from it. Whoa. That's heavy, and of course so is the Boston memory. It's a wonder Travis can hold himself together at all really. I'm not confident he can be sturdy enough to withstand the challenges that are sure to come along with Ben and his own set of pressures. Can't wait for the next.
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Your chapters get richer and fuller the more we go along. Love it. You know how to pull the heartstrings. I really feel for Ben. His obstacles include himself. I'm really hoping Travis gets a clue too. Looking forward to the next part!
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Really great beginning to an intriguing tale. I'm not a writer but short stories must be a challenge to write. You handled the passage of time very well and built up an intrigue. Look forward to the second part.
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You really know how to weave these scenes of nature and human emotion/interaction together so well. I repeat myself when I say that I felt like I was in the scene with them as they took the horse ride and camped out by the stream. It's great storytelling with all of the tensions and buildup with tiny hints of hope in between. Now with a reporter on the loose (and maybe more) the stakes are higher for Ben. Will they really part ways as soon as his feet hit the pavement in Aspen? I'm hoping not... Thanks for the story.
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OK, so I had to go take care of something before coming back to add a comment or two, hehe... you got me going there... But really great chapter Mac, besides the hot motel room, the interaction between Ben's sister and brother in law and Katy's being bought off (interesting turn) I liked Travis and Ben having a moment of tenderness and some laughter, too. Ben's def hooked in. My interest and curiosity continue. Kudos, Larry
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The way you've got Ben and Travis continuing this one step forward, two steps back dance that's like almost love, almost hatred, almost connection but still somehow missing the mark intrigues me. It also leaves me in the dark because I have no clue what's coming next. Some layers have been removed (did Curtis really give his brother that scar??) and I feel unsettled about a whole lot but that's what keeps me coming back to read when you post something. I like that Ben is so attracted to the alpha in Travis... their hotel room moment should be interesting. Keep up the good work, sir.
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Rather than focus on Katy (who's clearly a disaster) I'd like to focus on Ben in this one. It saddens me that he has such self loathing. You make a good point showing us that nobody's stardom or wealth can keep them from feeling insecure or unhappy. I agree with Jeff, though, that I don't think he'll be able to walk away so easily. Again, great writing Mac. Made me want to be in mountains somewhere. Also, I can't wait to find out what surprise Travis has planned.
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Whew! You had me hooked with that opening scene, Mac! But more than hot, it illustrated Ben's desires and hesitations perfectly. And I'd like to be in a room alone with Travis, even for just 5 minutes...lol... I have a feeling the snowboarding day will not be all fun and games with Katy along. Hope I'm wrong. But then again your conflicts propel this story along at a great pace. Looking forward to the next.
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A True Italian from New York
LarryT commented on R. Eric's story chapter in A True Italian from New York
I like where this is headed. I had a roommate in college similar to Tony. Big east coast personality but also a real charmer. -
What Valkyrie said, you're quite the tease ending the chapter there,but I'll use my imagination, lol. I like that Ben and Travis continue to play this little dance of being closer and then stepping apart and the complexity being shown in each of them, and Katy, too. No flatness in your characters. I feel like I'm right there in the room (our outside) with your descriptions. I even felt cold while reading about the empty bunkhouse. To me, it showed that Ben needs Travis' warmth more than he knows. Another great chapter.
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You've done an amazing job on this story MacGreg. I'm completely hooked. I don't know who I like more, Ben or Travis. I'll pick both. But Katy I can do without. Hope she learns to piss off. Hot scene there on the rock, thanks for that. More please... Larry
