Will Hawkins

Okay, it is in my nature to be contrarian. I don't accept Ashlee as a replacement for Nate, but I, too am expecting bad boy Nate to rear his jealous head. Ashlee is too much the opposite of Nate -- Clem will probably get his sex life, his desire to be a 'top' taken care of by Ashlee but there is, in my opinion, going to have to be the third guy in here somewhere. Someone who is at ease with the sheep ranch and is not concerned about getting a little poop on his boots, someone who may even be willing to get his arm up the backend of a ewe who needs help with birthing, I am unable to see Ashlee in that role.

In Ashlee, you have created a character who is another stereotype, the opposite of Nathan, perhaps too much the opposite. Ashlee would never fit into Clem's lifestyle on the sheep ranch. He would be in a constant worry snit about getting poop on his shoes. So, what we need here is a third type of bf. A personality that is half-way between Ashlee and Nathan. Someone who can be a helpmeet to Clem while giving him the affection he needs.

But really, a skirt! I feel that Clem is going to have to make some adjustments in HIS personality. A boyfriend in a skirt would scare the sheep.

his boyfriend though Clem’s throat -- his boyfriend thought Clem’s throat used the line scents body wash -- used the lime scents body wash Somehow the legal terminology for the events of this chapter does not carry the necessary impact: Spousal domestic assault is too bland an expression for what your commenters have accurately deemed 'rape'. I can only hope that Clem will come through this incident with a new boyfriend who will appreciate and return the love he is given.

It was a good clear day, not to hot -- It was a good clear day, not too hot a new head collar -- British for the American word harness. A head collar probably will be fitted with a ring at the bottom of the nose piece into which can be snapped a lead rope, which can be either short to be held near the head or long enough to be used for training in a corral, but probably will not have a bit or reins installed. I was surprised by two things about you and your writing, Sasha, two that come to mind are that you are British and female. That means that writing a story about the Western US is a foreign language to you. What gave your nationality away, however, was in the first chapter when you used the word 'tyre', very British spelling, an American would say 'tire', and in this chapter 'head collar'... as noted the US name for that bit of tack is harness. But you are doing very well with accents and even horse colors. There are a number of those with which a Brit would not be familiar. Pink and Blue being two that come immediately to mind. Pink is a roan color of tan or grey mixed with red hairs and blue is a dark roan with grey or white hairs. I am among the readers that agree with some comeuppance needed in boyfriends. Let's just see how that works out.

The word is 'copyright' -- not 'copywright'. It means that the author retains all rights to copies in any form. I'm still loving the pace and the developing characterizations.

Intriguing start, different especially for a story on GA. The fast-paced writing style is perfect for the genre of the story. Good luck and you have found a new reader!

Biscuits -- cookies Wastebin -- waste paper basket

This discussion of dentists takes me back a number of years to when I was living in Covington, Wash. At that time I was having my teeth professionally cleaned about annually and found a gay dentist in a nearby town to do the work. While he was peering around inside my mouth he made a comment about me having 'a narrow arch' and 'sharp molars', so when he had finished the scaling, he ground a little on the sharp points on my back teeth then made the comment, "There, that should improve your love life." I laughed so hard that I almost choked. But he was right, the complaints about painful blow jobs decreased markedly after that!

For your readers on the left side of the great sea 'half-a-kilo' is about one pound -- weight, not currency, but even Brits do not use pounds\shillings\pence any more do you? -- and would be enough minced meat -ground lamb- to make a dish for two, especially a shepherd's pie with its crust of mashed potato and chopped veggies.

Here in outback Brazil, I have a TV, but I never turn it on. I use my computer (a MacBook Air) exclusively but then we have a satellite disk and Jose, my partner, uses it for communicating with his daughter in Portugal. I find that I do not miss landline TV even if much of the time I get frustrated with satellite, especially during the busy daytime hours. If I want to download something from the net I just wait until zero plus thirty and no one using the satellite to do so. (zero plus thirty is GI slang for very late at night or early in the morning). Most of my usage is email or sites like GA, with a little internet porn on occasion, so I don't miss out on much -- I can even select topics of interest from CNN.com if I will wait while they download from the net.

Reading this story is very interesting to me. I am an old (85) gay man living in a part of Brazil named the Mata Atlantica which means the Atlantic Forest. It is a strip of land lying between the ocean and the inland portion of the state of Bahia. My situation is not as unfortunate as is Eric's. But I recognize his problems. My retirement income is enough to provide housing and some care services. I moved to Brazil because the cost of living here is within my income from retirement and Social Security. Companionship is not easy to come by in the interior of Brazil. Fortunately, my health is reasonably good, probably because I am not exposed to the germ load I would be if I lived in a city. I am looking forward to reading Eric's story. It strikes a familiar chord in my life.

You commented, Adi, that after your recent illness you could not write in English. You seem to have recovered that ability as you writing in English is back up to its previous high standard. I have a great deal of admiration for you as a writer of German birth and writing so well in what is to you a foreign language. You do an excellent job in English (when you are not ill!). We have only, is it one more chapter, of this book, but there is still the third book to look forward to. I am with you all the way!

The US Army slang expression for that time of day is 'zero dark thirty'. That was used in the recent capture of Osama Bin Laden. The attack on his hidey-hole was scheduled for 'zero dark thirty'.

got my mate and I injured -- got my mate and me injured. Objective case pronoun as the object of the verb 'got' answers question of 'who got'. In reference to the question about Frankenstein's monster. He was a construct, made up by superior surgery of small parts from a number of different bodies. It is probable that even if a portion of the soul of each of the disparate parts of his body went with the flesh that there would be so many portions of separate souls that none was dominant enough to take over command.

Noel pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt out of his duffle bag when he first got up but just a moment later he feels the cool breezes of the morning on his naked torso -- a little bit of coordination needed here. If his friend is discussing the marks on his chest then it would be difficult to see them through a shirt! Also, no mention of footwear of any kind. But as a person who goes barefoot all the time indoors, I can understand that omission. Now I understand that this story was first published five years ago and I do not know whether the author is still following comments or not, but I will make a comment -- infrequently -- just because that is the snarky type of guy I am. If Aditus responds, it will encourage me. If she does not, so be it.

I am aware it is too late in the publication process to make corrections, but I would have advised you to seek out some help with your writing. A good editor or beta reader would have advised you in avoiding many of the grammatical missteps I see in your work. Just as a quick example: there is no word in English as 'anyways', that is a very common error, the correct word is 'anyway'. Another example might be that underwater fissures might 'emit' magma, but not draw it forth. Errors such as these would have been simple to correct at the time of original publication.

This is a beautifully conceived and well thought out alternative universe populated with interesting characters and a storyline that draws the reader in, especially the reader who is able to accept the concept of steamboats contemporaneous with horse-drawn carriages. At the moment there are apparently only a few chapters published, but many more promised for a complete story.

There are some things showing up in the narrative that has been bothering me since I began reading it. For the moment I will discuss language only. There are apparently two major language groups in play here, French and German or rather some version of a Germanic language. The total lack of any English references has been explained as it, at the time of the story, is a dead language, much as is Latin in our contemporary ethnographic. This carries to me a hint of Switzerland with its three interwoven languages. Nothing definite as yet but hints here and there.

and you're not Jamie or I -- Jamie or me. If there is a question in your mind about the proper format of the pronoun to use, just say the sentence leaving the proper noun out -- the correct form of the pronoun should become immediately apparent to you. 'and you are I' does not ring true.

"Zero dark thirty" is Army slang for very, very early in the morning -- perhaps two or three hours after midnight. It is known to army planners that there are times of the night when the attention of guards is at its lowest ebb. Many times an attack is planned for that time as the inattention of the guards is a definite advantage to an attacking force. As an example, the capture of Osama Bin Laden was planned for that hour called 'zero dark thirty' in GI slang.

Lemsip -- a pleasant tasting (lemon flavored) medication containing Paracetamol (US: Tylenol) and phenylephrine hydrochloride (decongestant) used as a palliative in colds and flu.

You Brits have a habit of throwing the word 'then' in nonsensical places at the end of sentences. Is this a London slang thing or is it common throughout the Empire? It is similar to the way a Canuk will add 'eh' to the end of a sentence. I love it. Is there any similar ethnic twist that we on the left side of the water use? If so, it is something which I do not hear -- perhaps it is so much a part of my own speech pattern it slips right by my ear. Thorn, I think you can feel the love that your readership has for you, if in no other way than that shown by the response when you are missing for a while. There are many friends out here in reader-land who miss you whenever you dissolve into a funk and celebrate any return that you may make. You are a d==n fine author, and only need to feed off the love that we all have for you.

Interesting comment on the legal system in the US: 1. The US has the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world (that means most people in jail per thousand population)... 2. We also have the highest recidivism rate (that means the greatest number who have been in jail go back, usually for another crime, per thousand population). The question becomes, what are we doing wrong, why is our legal system such a failure? One unknown in the above statements is the incarceration and recidivism rates for China as they do not publish these numbers.

Blowjob after barebacking is not quite as horrible as one of your commenters makes it. It all depends on the participants and how they feel about one another. Take it from an old fag! Most of the time partners bareback after a good clean out anyway so at most there is only a slight flavor of cum to enjoy. Refer to 'felching' for more information.