Will Hawkins

To an old man like me, the conversation in the car on the way home sounded pointless, but to the two people involved I am sure it had deep hidden meanings and we will subsequently see what the sub-text was.

gave an appreciative grunt. Writing a character like Richard is a real chore. I know such people exist and authors use them in their stories, but like many of your readers, to read about them in a story leaves one feeling dirty -- I am going to go wash my hands and face to try to clean up my reactions to Richard. He is truly a 'dick'.

Okay, time now to breathe, not a sigh of relief perhaps, but some small relaxation. Bboy's Mother is a force of nature that has just blown through Greg's life with some level of permission. In other words, your relationship with my son is OK, just don't take it too far. That is one wise woman. I am pleased to have met her as I am sure Greg will be, at least after he has had the opportunity to let the shock pass by. Wow!

Yes, the interplay between Nate and Greg is the seasoning for this story and illuminates your ability as a creative writer. Okay, I know that is a mixed metaphor, but it illustrates my fascination with the story from the aspect of being a writer myself. My writing skills are far too phlegmatic (read 'engineering report boring') to jump into the area of metaphor as gracefully as do you. It makes for far more intense reading than that of which I am capable. Go for it, Dude!

Interesting contrasts developing here, Nate, the black man, straight in a buddy relationship with Greg, a white man, gay. Because both men are totally out and comfortable in their respective sexual identities, there is little cause for conflict there, but another male from the past, known as 'the fiend' enters into the tale as a (black) shadow on Greg's past to add spice to his relationship with Nate. Did I get the correct name attached to the ethnicity of the two principals and the relationship to 'the fiend' attached to the correct character? 'Basketball Boy's' fixed stare at the duo driving past in the street opens another can of worms; was he truly staring at the car? The interesting possibilities with these characters as they are being developed are overwhelming. And the fact that BBboy is jail bait age even with his passing "WOW" sign of interest, just adds to the intrigue. The only fault that this old troll found in this chapter was with "Doing good." That expression, while common in Am-slang implies a charitable contribution. The accepted expression would be "Doing well." Am-slang is a word I just made up, it is a reference to 'American Slang'.

Because I am reading this story at an interval after it was first published, I do not see the errors that Lucaria is listing -- you have made those corrections, but I do see numerous smaller errors and would recommend that you obtain the services of a reader or editor before the tale is published. The creativity is excellent and I especially am reacting favorably to the differences in attitude between Rory and Ryan. Those who are raised with a silver spoon find 'humility' the most difficult lesson to learn.

Obviously, Ryan's father has not yet told anyone that Ryan is his son as even illegitimate offspring of a former President would have Secret Service protection. I think that will be changing now, but Ryan is going to have a long-term hospitalization to face as he recovers from his wounds.

True, there are numerous technical errors in the writing, Lucaria pointed some of those out and, when you obtain an editor, that helper will find more, but the theme of the story makes it worthwhile reading. Your errors will decrease as you become used to the creative process. It seems you have already developed a number of dedicated readers -- that is the hallmark of a writer who has something to say -- keep up the good work.

One additional question: as an American with no experience with royalty I have been led to believe that the Prince who is heir to the throne of a monarchy would be addressed as a Prince Royal of . . . and Your Royal Highness ...?

The sexual liaison of the night before was with a blacksmith, not a carpenter, or did I get two partners confused? At any rate, I am looking forward to the following chapters. A fairyfly is also known as a lightning bug and could have escaped from a dungeon cell even if it were walled up. I do not believe that KY was available in the middle ages, but olive oil would be an acceptable substitute.

It seems to me that with all the hiking and mountaineering that Chris is doing, his body, especially his legs and shoulders must be like iron to the touch, especially at the age of 17 - 18 years. That would make him a VERY interesting friend on a sleep-over!

I hope that all this hair dying does not cause any fallout!!! Repeated changes in hair color strip all the oil out of hair and may make it brittle.

Just as a matter of interest to your North American readers: US soldiers in various areas of Asia, when they were first introduced to metric distances, found the speeds expressed in kilometers per hour to be awkward and, like GIs around the world abbreviated the term to 'clicks' so now clicks has become the term of choice for young Americans in Europe and Asia to express both distances and speeds.

Hey, guys, it is just an overloaded circuit - just turn off some electrical things and reset the breaker. Everything will be fine.

There is obviously a conflict here between a high-end family and a working-class family. One boy being able to spend thousands of dollars on audio equipment and the other being worried about a tip at a restaurant. I can only hope that this difference in financial standing does not become a Rubicon.

I was totally lost during the discussion about Star Trek and the Einstine theories but was deeply involved with the relationship between the boys. The fact that both sets of parents are aware of their orientation and do not seem to be having any problem with it is certainly a different point from which to take off on a relationship. I am going to follow long for a bit to see where this leads.

It looks like we are adding to the crew manifest. Well, the more the merrier! I wonder if Kendrick has any idea that Elias is a construct, or even if he knows what a construct is. Well, in order to have a triangle you need three sides.

Sneaking into an outpost under the detection systems gives a rogue a lot of freedom to explore and expand. Good luck to our fugitive.

It would seem that this is not the first time the Sargeant has engaged in shady practices. At any rate, he is certainly a great help to Darien.

A gaped at doves made of smoke - I gaped at doves made of smoke Early Dawn sat the cash beside her. - Early Dawn set the cash beside her.

to hear the answer to - to hear the answer too

or a stuck in a paper bag - or stuck in a paper bag We have the introduction of a new representative of the world of magic as well as the question of what was it the invaders of the museum were seeking. Emrys rising from the dust of antiquity - okay, on to the next chapter for more confusion and perhaps some answers.

I think I Centennial’s Heroic Quartet - I think Centennial’s Heroic Quartet This had to be here. - This had to be her.

bore the full front of the - bore the full brunt of the It's surreal doesn’t it?” - It seems surreal doesn’t it?”

the land was tainted for it - the land was tainted by it as a place of malic - as a place of malice He chocked back a sob - He choked back a sob