Will Hawkins

I know well the emotions of the son in this story - For several years I had a live-in friend, not a boyfriend in the usual gay sense, but an interesting relationship none-the-less. We met at an advanced age, both of us in our fifties, through a common interest in choral music/ I was a non-singing member, a Stage Manager, for the Seattle Men's Chorus and he was an audience member who needed help with his wheelchair. Shortly after we met he decided to join me in my home. I had a large house, five bedrooms, all but the master unused, located in a forest site in the country and was living a lonely life. The reason he was not walking well as he had a tumor inside his skull that was growing slowly. It was painless but was gradually increasing the pressure on his brain, forcing his spinal cord down into his backbone where eventually it would paralyze him and bring about his demise. We were able to spend several years touring the western states, seeing all the tourist sights, something he had wanted to do but was unable to drive the car. so, I drove and we enjoyed the sights together. Eventually, the pressure on his spinal cord forced him into premature dementia and he went into a coma and passed. But we had had the experience of being together for a period of time before that unfortunate loss occurred.

The Dripping Springs website says that the town is the 'wedding capital' of Texas. I wonder if that will give Jaimie any ideas!

Part of publishing on GA for a new author is a learning experience. From time to time I make suggestions to editors and beta readers especially about homophones in the stories I read. These suggestions are not meant to insult the authors. An authors job is to be creative, to invent characters and situations that are plausible, entertaining and interesting to read. They are not expected to be English Professors, correcting the language in which the story is written is the job of the editor and beta reader. In fact, many authors on GA are writing in English, a language that is not their native tongue. I have been writing in English for nearly eighty years and have taught writing, engineering reports in the main, not fiction, for much of that time. Homophones are the second greatest curse of an author writing in English -- punctuation being the worst. There are somewhere between 400 and 450 homophones in the English language depending on whose list you read. No Spellcheck program I know of can detect them and I do not believe it is possible for a new author to know them all, but an editor should. All I am trying to do by making suggestions about writing is to help an author learn more about the language he has chosen in which to compose. It is difficult for even an experienced writer to avoid all homophones, and I will not even mention punctuation -- that is a quagmire in which even professional editors become mired. If I have upset you FSELL, I will apologize, but my intentions are good -- all I am trying to do is make your creativity shine through the morass of English grammar. Certainly, you have mastered that side of writing. Your story, as I have read it so far, is entertaining, your characters are believable and there is a great deal of humor in your chapters -- keep up the good work, I am enjoying your writing!

This has been a sad chapter because of the loss of the child, but the pacing and character development are prima. Jamie is doing the right thing fighting his ex-father-inlaw, it seems that he has the entire hierarchy of the station on his side. And that man is putting himself in a sever fix because it can be easily established that he is acting in a vindictive manner because of the recent divorce.

"At least I like cats." I very seldom laugh out loud when reading a story, but this line prompted an insane giggle. Are there enough Officer Goodbodys in the world so I can have one too?

substantive - when speaking of a large meal, substantial would probably be better used.

Roger had been kicked out of that restaurant before -- he certainly fits the title 'shithead' to persist in making off-color comments after having been kicked out once.

When we went to a Highschool game, football, baseball, or basketball when I was growing up in the South, we always had a big bag of chitlins or boiled peanuts which we called Goober Peas. Neither one of which have I ever seen at a Northern ballpark. You Yankees just don't know what you are missing. LOL

Benny is indeed a 'tabula rasa'. This is going to be an advantage to the reader as when Benny needs information and asks about it, the answer he gets will also serve to refresh the reader's knowledge. Tabula rasa = blank page, a severe form of memory loss. While often a simple definitive statement will serve to fill in the blanks, as it were. Sometimes repetitions are required because context memories are missing as well.

I’ll let everyone you go by Benny I’ll tell everyone you go by Benny I just checked and Android smartphone has an app that will translate screen text into either Braille or artificial speech as well as translating text into Braille. Technology moves so fast and old man like me cannot keep up!

Wow, now we have Mary coming out. This is going to get really complicated. It is easy to detect as a reader the difference between Troy and Benny because of the way they speak, but it is going to be tougher with Mary, she uses the language like Benny. Well, I'm just going to hang on for the ride.

I just finished reading 319 Winesap Lane and started reading this story because it said it was a sequel. I know Troy was a character in that story, but it was not made clear he was a dual personality, though his Black personality was a part of that story. Carl, you have a tendency to write very dark stories, probably because of your own problems so I assume this story is going to be dark. Being threatened with rape and then being shot are typical CH story events, so I assume this tale is going to continue in that vein.

Sure thin, my Capitan - Sure thing, my Capitan - Damn, those homophones will get you every time! Homophones are the hardest errors to edit out in a text because a spellcheck program will not detect them and the author's eye will skip over them. This is where a sharp-eyed beta reader earns his salt. I know that I miss many of them in my reading as well. It is a shame to have to separate two brothers especially if they are twins, but in this case, it seems as if Dave's meanness would overwhelm Steve's niceness if they are together, so separation is desirable to prevent the ruination of another life.

we have to new boys - we have two new boys

Does it bare some significance Does it bear some significance

It is a difficult situation for a gay man to be placed in a classroom with young men, but I know it can work out for the best. I was an instructor at a Community College in Washington State for 25 years and had as many as 5 male students from time to time boarding at my home during that interval. There was never a whisper of impropriety and I have remained friends with several of these students ever since. We did not worry about accidental nudity on the way to or from the bath and the only rule that I followed religiously was to never touch any of my boarders below the waist. It can be done and done successfully.

I, too, am suspicious about the sex of Jerry's spouse. No married man would volunteer that amount of cooperation for a party without checking with his wife, and with a kiss as well! I feel the opportunity offered to Geoff is going to be a Godsend, the college is going to need a new Provost immediately. Turning the school into a religious institution would cause the founders to roll over in their graves!

British ... whisky American ... whiskey My spell checker is set up for American spelling so it has a fit with the British, just as it does with placing a 'u' in some words. But it makes no difference to me -- I can accept either one. I even understand most Australian slang, for that, I have a dictionary of Oz. Now Cockney is a different and more difficult matter. Fortunately, there are not many authors on GA who write in Cockney Rhyming slang.

Jerry is eighteen and therefore considered an adult in sexual matters, so Geoff is not breaking any laws in reference to MM sex. However, he has been warned explicitly by the administration that there had better not be any complaints so he is treading on dangerous ground with Jerry. This makes an interesting conundrum, especially because Jerry is not only willing, he is aggressively pursuing a relationship with his employer. Truly "It is a puzzlement." Carl, I would be interested, as a potential author myself, why Centex is bothered by the pacing.

Yep, I do to, Yep, I do too, Did Will just have a panic attack because he was asked about his first sexual experience? I can see that he has a long way to go to recover from the events of his early life. Please, Will is so seriously f==ked up, I hope the staff at Center Haven can help him. Roger seems like a good guy, so maybe there is a possibility that Will could have a friend who doesn't want him for his ass.

There is much joy and love in the gay community, it seems unnecessary to emphasize the dark side. We all know it exists and it needs to be brought out into the open to be cured I suppose. It just does not make for pleasant reading. I feel like I am peeking through a keyhole when I read of adult men having forced sexual relations with underage boys. But it is a part of life, isn't it?

This story exposes a number of problems with law enforcement and with the treatment of people with heroin addiction. The system of detoxification and treatment is not set up to provide help for very young addicts and placement services are not sensitive to their needs either. Religious do-gooders are just as harmful as the truckers clients to Will.

I know this comment has nothing to do with your story as you are writing fiction, but I am including it as a reminder to lovers of dogs who might be reading it. Chocolate is a deadly poison to dogs, especially dark chocolate. However, the hazard of chocolate to your dog depends on the type of chocolate, the amount consumed and your dog's size. In large enough amounts, chocolate and cocoa products can kill your dog. The toxic component of chocolate is theobromine. Humans easily metabolize theobromine, but dogs process it much more slowly, allowing it to build up to toxic levels in their system.

flavor savor, - flavor saver may be the expression you want to use here. I am enjoying the stories, especially how they work in the 'prompts', but the difference between Eli's gentle personality and what one would expect from a muscle hunk with tattooed sleeves is especially interesting. Is it true that many men like Eli are hiding a sweet and caring personality behind a 'macho-man' screen?

This just goes to show that every muscular man with tattoos is not a rapist. I agree that Eli will be good for Noah, certainly, Noah would enjoy having warm muscles wrapped around him when he first wakes up in the morning.