Will Hawkins

It seems to me that the most difficult villan to write about is the one that is only a little bit evil. Or perhaps to restate that, hides his evilness under a disguise of being a good citizen. The evil one who kicks small children and old ladies probably does not exist, and many villans believe they are really doing good in their lives. I recall the person I recently read about who was a dedicated Social Worker who hated 'gay' clients, and secretly rejoiced whenever she could place one in a bad home situation. It is much more difficult, and interesting to a reader, to have a villan who is only evil before 10:00 on every second Thursday. Mr Will

Do Canadians really add 'eh' after a sentence, or is that just a creation of authors to place the reader into the Canadian mode? misterwill2@live.com

The origin of the word groyne is old Latin meaning a 'pig's snout'. The American spelling is 'groin'. But the idea of feeling up somebody's 'groyne' is indeed humerous. Dodger, you have an ability that is 'out of this world' as an author and your puns and little jokes along the way make fascinating reading. Sorry to hear about your personal woes, but hope all is better now. Mt Will

Asparagus, no, not so common, but it is a vegetable that as a kid, I liked and we had it for dinner sometimes. If memory serves me right, the only common vegetable that I did not care for was peas. Not becuse I do not like peas, but I would prefer to eat them raw, right out of the pod and in school when they were served for lunches, they managed to cook them to death. There were many good vegetables that, by the time they were served up at school, after having been on a steam table for an hour, were pure mush.

This is the first time I have ever heard of the Navaho Radio talkers called 'Wind Talkers', but the term makes sense, knowing that these Native American radio operators during second WW, used made up words for warefare items that there were no Native terms for. Why is it that every time a meal is mentiond on GA it always includes green beans and mashed potatoes. Now, believe me I have eaten my share of these two vegetables in my life, but even I had some other foods for dinner … how about a baked potato and asparagus? Too exotic for GA authors?

It is one of the advantages of being the 'Old Troll' that my comments are not made for publication. I would never publish a story I had written without using a spell-check program like Grammarly as I realize my own failings. I only comment infrequently as a rule, picking out ONE error and try to do that as politely or as humorously as possible. My suggestions as far as an Author's work is concerned are just that – merely suggestions, not meant to be 'snarky' or mean at all. If, at any time an Author objects to my suggestions, I immediately cease making them and just sit back and enjoy the reading. James has mentioned that he appreciates my suggestions and really, I have found so few that it is almost a joke when I do spot one. Just as a side note, I try never to comment on punctuation as that is the La Brea Tar Pits of English writing. Mr Will

back out throw back out through Well, the old troll FINALLY nips at your toes. It has taken six chapters to do it but the Old Troll finally strikes. Mr Will

James, you are writing a story that contains all the five elements of fiction: characterization, setting, progression, suspense, and resolution. Each one is masterfully handled. I am known among the authors of GA as the 'old troll who lines under the bridge that all authors must walk acrose barefoot on their way to publication', but in your case I find nothing to nip at your toes about. Each one of the aspects of good fiction writing is beautifully handled. Even the occasional Itallian word or phrase adds to the setting of the story (though I have to look up some of them!) To be able to handle creative writing in a language which I assume is NOT your 'milk language' is a real art and you do it extremely well. I will be following the additional chapters you have written and look forward to enjoying subsequent chapters as they are published. Mr Will

When I was Robbie's age, I was in charge of a barracks full of horney 15-year-olds (as well as 7th-9th grade boys). I, personally was so physically unattractive (I had a terminal case of acne that lasted until I was 20) that I didn't have any trouble remaining 'straight' – hell, no body would have anything to do with me! But I recall a few incidents of 15-year-old hormone erruptions in the guys I was supposedly in charge of. Mr Will

In this story there are several mentions of Robbie having to listen to 'O Canada' every morning over the school bitch box, I learned that there are two versions of that anthem…same melody, but different words, one in English and one in French. I assume that the version Robbie is forced to listen to, is a melody only version, as he does not speak French, but I was interested in learning that the two versions are not even one the trnalation of the other, but entirely different words. It seems to me that since the time before the age of Napoleon, the British and the French have not been able to agree on anything. In re dentists: I have been to the dentist ONCE in the past 8 - 10 years and have needed only one appointment since I moved to Brazil. I have been told my teeth are immune to decay because of the chemicals in the water where I grew up. The dentist here did have to remove one 2nd molar, but that was because it had shattered. When she started to unject the anesthetic to begin work, I quietly growled at her, just like a little dog would. She (yes, a female Dentista) got to laughing so hard she had to stop for a moment to recover. But several weeks later, when my partner went in for some work, she told him about the incident and that my sense of humor (growling at the injection) had made her day. The up-shot of the entire incident was that even after she finished her work, I did not have anypainful reaction and I told Jose that I would be willing to go back to her office any time I needed more work. By the way, routine medical and dental work here in Brazil is totally paid by the government (the only thing the patient has to pay for is prescriptions and those are alway charged at the generic rate). And, as an old man, I don't even have to go to the back of the line to see a Doctor or Dentist. People of 70 years or more are automatically given priority (placed on the waiting list ahead of the youngsters). This pisses Jose off a little as he is only in his mid-sixties and he has to wait along with the peones whenever he visits the Doctor or Dentist. HA!

To a certain extent it depends upon the pose that is selected for a nude painting or drawing. In my house at this time there are approximately 50 drawings and watercolor paintings I have made over the years on display, some of them are male nudes, but in nearly every case they are suitable for public display,,,,It all depends upon the pose that is selected. Sure, several of my nudes are full-frontals, but many of them are selected so they do not show anything that would set off a Hayes Office censorship reaction, the subject being wrapped around himself so that the 'man bits' are hidden. I do not select a pose for the over-all exposure, but for what I consider to be good art. Mr Will

Because I am reading this story in the summer (in the Northern Hemisphere, here it is nearing mid-winter – Brazil in June) I am able to move ahead from chapter to chapter without waiting for Dodger to complete other duties. It makes for more continuous reading, but interferes with commenting in a timely fashion. Two of my mates (with whom I am sharing this house) are going to be gone for a week, but the owner of the house has attempted to make adequate provision for house cleaning and meal preparation for me while they are gone. The only problem is my lack of Portuguese to communicate with any of the workers on the site, so I will spend a week being taken care of, but not being able to communicate. Well, I will be fed and clean with laundry, etc. all done, but lonely – I have to be content, though as the lack of communication is my fault for not having learned Portuguese. The only friends I will have for that week, other than on the lap-top will be the puppies. Our dog had a litter about two weeks ago and the eight little wigglers are just getting their eyes open. Momma is still feeding and cleaning them so it is not a worry as long as they stay in their box, but I am no longer agile enough to chase them around the house. This is the time in their maturation when contact with humans is very important, so one if my duties is going to be gently handling them, scratching their bellies and talking baby talk to them, not an unpleasnat duty by any means. Mr Will

I know that it is practically universal for people to remove their zorries (and not wear socks) here in northern Brazil, but I did not realize that barefoot inside the house was common in Canada. Is this pretty universal or just a habit of certain families or certain areas? I moved to Bahia, Brazil in 2008 and have not worn foot coverings of any kind regularly since then. I joke about my toes spreading out so much that I could not get shoes on any more, but I know that barefoot in the house and in this warm area is super comfortable. Mr Will

Perhaps it is my very advanced age, but I do not remember having this much trouble coming out to my parents nor to my friends.

Not necessary, if there is something I do not get from the written dialog, I can refer to a dictionary of British Slang. I do recall, however, listenting at one time to Queen Elizabeth on the BBC speaking. I believe it was her Christmas message. The upper-class British accent was so thick I had to search out her speech on a German web-site and read the translation notes from the screen. Cockney rhyming slang is, if course, impossible for anyone but a Londoner to understand, but most British is at least 90% comprehensible even to a dumb Yank like me.

I am becoming inreasingly concerned as Robbie's relationship with Fran continues and progresses, about the possibility of conception. Both Robbie and Fran are at an age at which accidents are prone to occur and, to the best of my memory, I have never seen the mention in the story, of either chemical or mechanical means of preventing conception. Because Fran was a virgin at the onset of their sexual relations, the possibility of disease is non-existant, (Though Robbie has been involved both back in Britain, and with a couple of characters in the story, one, at least, being of less than savory reputation.) But the frequency of the Fran/Robbie copulation and their youth both point to the increasing chance of conception occuring.

In all the descriptions of sex with Fran I have read so far, I have seen nothing about protecting against conception. Okay, Fran wes a virgin, so ptotecting against disease may be off the table, but conception is a distinct possibility, especially with a woman who is as passionate as Fran. I think Robbie has been right to be worried. Especially with a 'good Catholic girl' like Fran. Mr Will

You are British, I am American. You are writig a story about Canada. I have not been shy about making grammar suggestions about choices in written British. Please, what I want to avoid if at all possible, is suggesting rules about grammar that are American, but do not apply to works written in British. Churchill is well known for making a joke about British writing rules in a speech before Parliament, "A preposition is a word you should never end a sentence with." There are some British and American rules that are considered old-fashioned or no longer used, like avoiding 'split infinitives'. That rule was one which was drubbed into me by every English teacher since the Third Grade, but it is no longer enforced. (Editors say that it stems from Latin where the infinitive case is a form of the verb and cannot be split off, and we are not writing in Latin.) Some things I do in my own writing, I would never think of suggesting to another author, like I frequently use reverse order in a sentence, not because the other order is not correct, but because I think reversing sentence order sometimes sounds better. And I even start a sentence sometimes with 'and' or 'but'. If I ever make a grammar suggestion to you with which you disagree, don't change it, just grin and move on, I am not going to have a fit! (See, a sentence in reversed order!) Mr Will

I was sure Fran would be able to get an orgasm or too out of me – Okay this brings up another homophone, or rather a set of them. to, progressing in a certain direction: I am going to town. Two, a number or count of something: There are two different answers to this question. Too, also. Both answers were wrong, too, neither one was correct. In this case the form two would be the correct selection. Remember, I am famous (infamous) on GA for being the old troll who lives under the bridge that authors must walk across barefoot on their way to publication and nipping at their bare toes. Accept my gramatical corrections in the spirit in which they are intended – as a way of improving your grammar, not as being mean. There is a website on the Internet that lists over four hundred sets of homophones, some sets with two words and some with even more, if you are interested. It might make you aware of some of these grammatical toe-stubbers of which you are unaware. (Just Google 'homophone') There is an additional site that lists over a thousand homophones, but that site adds examples that are merely close sounding and it only told me that some English speakers pronounce certain words incorrectly – so that they can be confused by pairs of words that sound somewhat alike. But in those cases, if the word is pronounced correctly, without regional accents, the words are not truly homophones. for example: what and watt or nut and not, whereas not and knot is a true pair as they are sounded exactly alike. Oh, one other toe-stubber that authors sometimes run into is when a noun and a pronoun are joint objects (or subjects) of a sentence, as 'She telephone John and I.' That one is easy to avoid, however, if the writer just will speak the sentence, leaving out the noun: if that is done, it becomes obvious that something is wrong: 'She telephoned I.' is grating on the ear and is obviously in error. Mr Will

Dodger, the Chief Executive Officer of a school is a Principal, you can remember that because he (or she) is supposed to be a friend to the students. Another one of thise damned homophones for which English is famous. I can only wish there were an easy way, such as this, to remember the spelling for every one of them. Mr Will

As a result of some very superficial research, I have concluded that there are four different games where husky young men don varying amounts of clothing, form up on grassy fields and attempt to murder one another, each one called 'football'. I am not going into the differences between the games as the rules are adequately covered on various web sites, however just for the illumination if your readers, they are called 1. American Rules football, 2. Canadian Rules football, 3. Rugby, and 4. Association Football or Soccer. In each case the size of the playing field is different, the number of players is different, the clothing is different, and even the shape of the ball is different. Good luck in attempting to make all the differences clear to your readers; American, Canadian and European. I know I do not understand them. The only thing I am sure of is that they are each taken very seriously by fans who have been known to become so involved with the various teams as to attempt murder of opposing fans, even while (mostly) sober. Mr Will

This Chapter has made me think back onto my early life – was I ever as attached to a specific location as Robbie had been up until his break-up with Tom? I had to conclude, no, as each new location entered into my life, I was able to adapt to new places and new friends. I suppose this was a result of having a father who was in the Air Force and we, the family, and even later, I, by my self, moved from one duty station to another, following him. Oh, sure, there were some of his duty stations that I liked better than others, but none at which I was truly unhappy. I guess that was because I was somewhat of a 'loner', more involved with family than with a multitude if friends, but perhaps, being a loner was a defense mechanism against the many changes we had to go through. Now, in my old age, I have many acquaintances, but I do not believe I have many friends who, if we were separated, I would miss. Mr Will

As you are probably aware, Canada is bi-lingual, English and French are the two 'official' languages of the country. All official documents are published in both French and English. "O Canada" is the national anthem of Canada and there are both English and French versions of the lyrics, but the two versions are NOT translations of one another! Mr Will.

The Canadian school system sounds very similar to the US, except of course for the emphasis on Canadian History. I wonder what will be taught about the War of 1812, or the "Pig War", when a Canadian farmer's pig invaded a US vegetable garden at Pt. Roberts and ate the turnips? Remember the motto '54.40 or Fight'…. That might be interesting also as it took a German Kaiser to settle that disagreement.

Running around in the house barefoot, sounds so usual to me, now that I am living in Brazil. Here everybody removes their foot coverings (usually the Japanese style sandal called flip-flops or zorries) just as soon as they come through the front door. I have even worn those sandals only a few times since I have been here, when I go to town, a rarity. My feet have widened out so much, I fear I could not even get regular shoes on anymore, I can even see daylight between my toes now. My residence history is very scattered. Two or three years in any one place, usually in the South or West, (Dad was in the Air Force and we followed him around through several reassignments) usually in the 'good flying weather states'. I am even somewhat familiar with the part of Canada in which this story is set. At one time (early 40's) we lived in Buffalo, New York, or rather a suburb name Kenmore, and would make several trips a year across the southern tip of Ontario, south of Toronto, (at that time no passport required) as a shortcut to get to the Detroit area of Michigan, where my Mother's family was living. Mr Will