shadowgod

considering I havent listened to a cd in over a year... mp3 player Deaf or Blind

FIRST THINGS FIRST!! Big thanks to everyone who has left Living in Surreality a review in Efiction Y'all have made the story pop onto the 10 most reviewed list! Goal one achieved so keep em coming... now on to business.... No, definantly thank you for continuing to read! I have been kicking around the idea of posting at least part of chapter 7 in sneak peaks sometime thisweekend, mostly as a thanks to you guys for helping me get on one of the tens lists... So keep your eye out for it Wow Knotme, I honestly love reading the comments you post on this story. They make me rethink what I have written, push me to do better. I appriciate that alot. about the sallow eyes I assume you are refering to the following sentence. I'll be the first to admit, I used sallow liberally in that sentence. Sallow from my understanding is a word usually aquainted with sickness. In a round about way I was trying to reinforce Joanne's 'sick with worry' in passing. I see your point on the scathing look, I'll have to find a more sutible word for the 'girl are you damn crazy?' look As far as the spited referance, where Viola is concerned there is a third possibility, which in conversly tied to the second of the two you pointed. Obeject of spite, Spite for another, or spite for oneself. Here though I think its a good mixture of the three... Shame in herself for avoiding the situation for so long. Hurt that she could never be the only woman her husband ever wanted, then well Vengeful for all those same reasons. Thanks for reading Knotme! and please do keep bringing up points you dont understand! Steve Ps since no discussion ever came of it, Futures wasted was a euphimisim or metaphore if you will, spilled seed is just so blasie anymore....

Hey everybody! Just loaded Chapter 6 of Living in Surreality. Its a short chapter, my first yet hopefully the only Anyhow, I hope yall enjoy, and if you do, or dont. Let me know what you think! Steve

Visitor?!? You mean when you signed up they didnt give you forty pages and a goat??

:ranger: :2hands: :ranger: :2hands: :ranger: We are prepared to take drastic measures if the car scene is excised.... Steve

Thanks knotme! I'll have to put some thaught into that phrasing... Yeah I wanted a stronger statement then thicker then air was able to provide provide. I can comment further even on the futures wasted phrase, I'd like to see what other peoples take on it is though. so yup, Insert groveling pleas for constructive criticisim here! even some exchange of theorys theories... honestly I really shouldn't need an editor to post a comment :S Steve

OOOOHHH!!! Sounds like a challenge CJ! the only question is, can the shy quiet lurker pull it off?? Steve

CJ! Just read your latest offering! I really enjoy your tongue in cheek approach to writing. I would very much equate this as your style. Its present in everything you have offered up so far. From the fun of No Shirt No Problem! to the nose thumbing of The Muse, and now you continue along with For the Love with the delightful description, in the driveway. You had me doing a double take there. I did notice however, in the first few lines you were telling action rather than showing it.

And for all those disney fans out there.... psssst.. avast there, it be to late to alter course... in my pants Ok now Im having visions of a talking skull saying that.... bones anyone?

Congraats CJ! I can only hope to be as successful a lurker Steve

pride in my pants...

DR LAURA!!?? thats a google search just screaming to be made Krista Which anthology Hrmmmm... I'm gonna go with Blizzard because it comes first, have to keep my excitement in check. Beatles or Rolling Stones...

Whew... Did I ever come to the party late All I Ever Wanted, what can I say that hasn't been said already. THIS STORY SUCKED!! alright its a blatent lie... but no one has said that already right? In all seriousness, yet another beautiful story form you Viv. right up there with your previous anthology entries. It will never cease to amaze me how well you can define two seperate characters in 10,000 words. Much less have the face an obsticle and overcome it. The details which you wove around Tay made him more endearing, the candy, mom, the younger sibling. All perfect in my thoughts. What I really enjoyed however, was the brief interaction between Tay and Blake while sitting in his jeep outside of the party. The simple action of Blake getting assurances from Tay he would be ok. That they would go home if Tay really didn't want to go to the party etc. That one scene gave great insight into what was surging through Blake at that moment. the bathroom scene was good too... Steve

Welcome aboard Tiffani! Havent read jumping yet, I'm sure I will in the near future... Steve

LOL Razor! Said is an innocuous word that is supposed to be invisible. I too thought I used it way too much so I started changing it to words like cooed... yes I used the adverb cooed it was crazy... I'm still trying to master that nuance of writing, well that and sentence structure... But yeah I agree completely transitioning into the dialogue through action is tons better then a million little saids running around... BTW U used the avatar.... cool Steve diff side note would you believe IESpell didn't have dialogue as a word??

Thanks tracy, I know you have told me a dozen times. That makes the 13th no less special though. as for the sigi snafu... your just lucky there isnt a finger smilie in here anywhere....

White Lines in my pants...

Im gonna go with the theme being people you would very much like to see thrown off a cliff at once... Kiss Jessica Simpson Marry Paris Hilton, This is an investment in my future. All together now class... Can we say alimony?? And I'd toss Nicole cause well, as paris proved she is rather disposable Walt Disney Jim Henson Joseph Barbera

You can't always get what you want, in my pants

Just watched the video, definately see where the Freddie Mercury referance comes from, That aside, all of their videos, witch exception of I'm not Ok, are very ... Beautiful and rather visualy stunning... Helena was just morbidly beautiful...

theyre out here at HOB in hollywood tonight... sadly I will be on candy doody ( yeah I spelled that perfectly right!) That would have been awsome to see them in such a small venue

somehow, I'd never thought of being happy and bouncy and MCR in the same sentance; not matter how many commas. On another note, I do like Mama.. and the drum major, what can I say I'm visualy inclined ! Havent seen the video yet, which reminds me, when did they stop showing videos on MTV? Steve

Knotme... Thanks for reading and taking the time to post such a lengthy comment! Wow, you hit on alot of things, First you may acctualy be right about Richard and Viola's 'strained' relationship, Kitty however, we'll she's only been a minor player so far, but I dont think the glimpse that has been shown of her is relative of the bigger picture. I'm glad you picked up on the basis of Jacob's personality. Aside from Grandparents, and a boiterous aunt, who will come into the picture later, Joanne has been the sole guiding light in his life. Matt, well Matt is an interesting case, shaped not only by the 'toxic' home enviroment, but more so by Valerie and her dad. And yes lets hope these new introductions into his life have more positive influance then negative... WOW! thanks! I can only hope continuing chapters meet with so much approval, and yes! thank you dearly for the review in efiction! ( only 3 more to go till I get into the top ten most reviewed stories! Hey, a guys gotta have goals! ) Steve