Graeme

I think the genre tends to make the reader think differently. The genre shifts the focus from the human condition and towards science and technology. Since 'great literature' is generally about the human condition, the shift reduces the 'greatness' quality in the perception of some readers. Having said that, I know there are SF texts used in high schools here in Australia alongside more traditional literature, so the view is by no means universal.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-23/ambulance-crew-grant-palliative-patient-last-wish-to-see-beach/9183426

Computer entomology extermination is a never ending business because they keep breeding new ones all the time. Anyone would think they were oversexed...

Joey and Allen at Sullivan's Lake brought the story back to complete the circle. That was Joey's private place, the place he could be himself in harsh world. His private place, the real Joey, was expanded to include Allen... That ending is so poignant. Allen has died, but they had 15 years together, and that's a good run. Joey would have wanted it to be longer, but he's not morose. Instead, he's holding on to the good, something he failed to do several times earlier in the story. Thanks, Ron. This has been a painful journey at times, but the Joey with the heart of gold won in the end.

If you join the Writer's Circle club, you'll find both writers and editors. That club is also where writers can make requests when looking for an editor for their story or stories. Best of luck! I, and I think most authors, have a great deal of respect for editors.

Writing is supposed to be fun. I'm not sure about editting...

As an example, as JayT indicated he didn't have one, I thought I'd construct, in a way that makes it as clear as possible, a sentence that, when someone tries to read it, meets the requirement of an example he didn't have, which is a sentence that is, when viewed objectively, or more accurately subjectively, since this is a issue that, while there are rules in place for clarity, still required a degree of subjectivity, difficult to understand. How did I do? I think I hit comma use, run-on sentences, and poorly constructed, all at the same time!

I know I have a lot of problem with commas, and that's a major area where my editors have always been correcting me. I believe part of the problem is because the rules have changed. Back in the dark ages (ie. pre-Internet) when I was in school, we were told to use commas whenever there was a natural pause if the sentence was being spoken. That's no longer the rule, but there are still plenty of us who persist in the old way because that's what we were taught. For example, my editor would probably tell me that there's supposed to be a comma after "old way" in that previous sentence, as the "because" is joining two clauses, but if I were to speak it, I wouldn't put a pause there, so my instinctive reaction when typing is to not put in a comma. (And that's another example of a run-on sentence...)

Ron, the story was fine. It was Joey, not the story, that was wrong (and only in my opinion). If you want to fix it, I would leave it as it originally was, and then have Allen swap the rings after they see the second inscription, with a comment along the lines of "You come first, Joey".

Both Gene and Joey have done what they have to do to survive. From one perspective, what they're doing is wrong (Gene leading on Belinda, suppressing his feelings, acting homophobic, while Joey resorted to prostitution), but given what we know, both solutions are understandable. As Joey lamented at the start of the chapter, it's sad that they needed to do what they did, but they needed to do it to survive. As for the rings, Joey got them around the wrong way. The one with his name first is Allen's, and the one with Allen's name first is his. That's how the inscriptions on the wedding rings for my wife and I were done, and I still think it's right. In a marriage, the other person comes first.

I've started a thread in The Pit on this subject if anyone wants to discuss it. It is, unfortunately, still a political topic in Australia.

@William King, I don't skip much in a print novel the first time I read it, but I certainly do on re-reads. When there are multiple storylines, I will often re-read the story, following just one of those storylines, skipping over the others. It gives me a different feel to the story, that way. That's not what this thread is about, but I thought I would mention it.

Joey has a heart of gold. It was hidden for a long time because of how his family treated him, but with just a little love from Allen, Ticker and Star, it's now shining through. Oh, and droughtquake? The story isn't over yet. There's still a couple of chapters and (hopefully) a sequel to go.

With all the current stories about celebrities behaving badly (or worse), one Twitter user asked for good stories about celebrities. Twitter shares stories of good celebrities Chris Martin from Coldplay is my favourite story

They all still have stories ahead of them, but this is a good place to end. I'm looking forward to reading more about this great bunch of people.

Those scenes felt so realistic. I can imagine Gene doing what he did, and it took Joey to save him. Gene's feelings for Joey are what allowed him to get close, and to snap Gene out of his mindset when Joey was shot. Star may have had a chance, but I think there was a real risk she would've failed.

I'm going to look at something other than Gene. While everyone's comments on that part of the story are great, it's the interaction between Allen and Joey that caught my eye. This was the first time that the age gap between them was obvious. Joey was the teenager who wanted to use sex as escapism, and Allen was the older guy who knew that would be a mistake. Allen really showed his maturity in that scene, handling Joey with compassion and love, while denying Joey the ineffectual short term fix he wanted.

Now, onto the important stuff, like how to make 10-year-old whisky in a few weeks (using science, of course). https://theconversation.com/can-you-make-a-10-year-malt-whisky-in-weeks-the-chemistry-says-yes-86827

While young people are still ending up on the streets, I think some things have improved, at least here in Australia. The stigma of being gay has faded; it's still there, but much less prevalent than it was in the 80s, and no stigma at all for the majority of Australians. Services for the homeless have, I believe, also improved. Best of all, street prostitution has largely disappeared, at least as far as I know, and most brothels here are licensed and regulated. This doesn't stop underage prostitution, but it makes it much harder for a homeless youth to fall into it. The homeless still have many challenges, but things are better than what Craig experienced.

Poor Gene. I don't believe Joey, though, when he said he's only sorry for Gene because he's Allen's brother. I think that Joey has an innate level of compassion that's been suppressed for years, and it's finally surfacing. Even if Allen wasn't in the picture, I believe he would still feel sorry for Gene.

I tend to skip things that seem repetitive. If it too similar to scenes I've already read, I skip ahead. While these tend to be sex scenes (I'll read the first one or two, but when it becomes more of the same...), it also applies to sporting scenes, travelogues, song lyrics, yet another classroom, .... You get the picture. I want to escape when I'm reading, and repetition rarely helps.

Thank you! I'm still amazed that people are re-reading this story. I know the opening chapters are not of a great quality. Thanks! As I've said before, this is my first story, and I wanted it to be different. I had the idea after reading a Drake Hunter story, sadly no longer online, where a character lamented about losing friends when he came out. I thought I'd write a story from the point of view of such a 'friend'.

I think this counts as three steps forward and no steps backward They're talking, really talking, and not holding back. They're expressing their feelings and their concerns. That's the way to move forward I had to smile, though, at Joey's thoughts about Ticker not being too bright when Star and Allen's mother want him to join them for coffee, and then he did exactly the same thing when Ticker came to piock up Star from Allen's apartment. Sometimes it's easier to see the 'faults' in others, while not being able to see the 'faults' in ourselves.

Joey's walls are almost down. It's interesting that when he's stressed out, he somehow found himself back with Allen. He's still defensive, but opening up to Star is a step in the right direction. It looks like Gene has his own walls that he keeps up most of the time, but when it's just him and Joey, he's letting them down. It's obvious that Gene cares for his brother, but doesn't know what to do, so most of the time he keeps himself isolated from the situation, apparent in fear of his father. His father has a lot to answer for...

Joey knows his walls are breaking; his reflection at the lake shows that. He thinks he's just lowering them, but I don't think it's in his control. They're breaking, not being voluntarily lowered. The interesting part is that others are seeing it, too. Ticker's comment about how he saw Allen and Joey together in the back of the car and how that just seemed 'right' is just one example. I disagree with Joey's comment at the end, though. It's more three steps forward and two steps back. There is still some net progress, even if the backward steps at the time seem overwhelming. Yes, there are backward steps, but they're not as big as Joey is feeling them to be.