DarkBishop

Lucid Love is my new story that I'm working on and right now I'm two chapters in and I can't wait to go on with chapter three. I guess it's because I am a writer that I keep working on it - I can't just sit here and do nothing because I don't write that great. Lol. Even though I may not be a good writer, or good enough to entertain people then I'm still going to work on this project. Why? Because it's a story that I really want to write. This story involves the emotional connection that I had with someone just a few years ago and I actually still have feelings for (Ooops! Really?) He was quite a nice guy that gave me that special feeling, and actually made me feel special. I posted a section of the story in the Sneak Peak section of the Writers Circle, and I thought for those that actually read my blog that I would give you the complete chapter one: So this is my new adventure that I'm working on, and I hope that someone will enjoy it and be a little intrigued to wanna see more. Over time, yes the writing will hopefully get better but at least hopefully I can tell a story that people would want to read. Hopefully! Because I have a ton more ideas that I would like to put down, but I better take some time and focus on my current project - Lucid Love

UPDATE: Thanks for the comments to everyone that has done so. I live with regret every day of my life, and I don't want to get into a long discussion right now but a part of me feels that this entry was a mistake. I know that everyone means well, but I guess I wasn't ready to hear some of the stuff, and it's quite depressing right (lol). And with everything else that I'm trying to hold down emotionally, I probably should've kept my mouth shut (lol). It's not your fault, it's mine. I guess that's why I'm struggling to get busy writing, because IF I lose my eye sight then my world collapses and everything will go dark. I know that people that are blind can do things that people with eye sight can do, but for me it would take more effort. The problem is that I suck as a writer (it's the honest truth).

BREAKING NEWS!! I thought I would share the truth with everyone, because you have been so nice and pleasant to me. I said to a few people along the way on here that I struggled with writing, there are several things that cause me to struggle. I know that this being a huge forum that possibly some on here will suffer with the same thing - not in the same way, but maybe you will GET ME! I think that's the problem sometimes lately is that people don't get me - they don't understand why some 40 something is struggling in such a hard way - Good grief just get on with your life, move one and get over things that messed up your life. Really? (that's why I normally say to my friends when they act the way they do, but this isn't about them) I don't want this to be a major thing, and I don't want to be some long explanation of something that could probably be summed up rather quickly. That's also a problem with me, I get distracted...Oops! You see. Anyways, on to my issues that I want to share with all of you, or those that at least give a shit, and believe me I won't be offended if you don't even take the time to read this - I would completely understand. First, I struggle with the agonizing demon of being Obsessive Compulsive - Yes, I got a doctors note and I'm officially been diagnosed as this crazy festering (is that a word?) type. And of course OCD is a huge thing, and it's different for everyone. One of my crazy, messed up triggers is "Words" and how they sound. WHAT? Seriously, several years ago I went crazy (privately) when I heard myself say I word and I started repeating the word over and over again. I would say the word, trying to make it sound proper in my head (usually I gave up). I know - it sounds crazy. Be honest, because it does to me also. And--that's sort of the reason why I write in present tense, because I don't get fouled up by the "-ed" words and that strange way some of them sound (lol). But of course I'm doing in now, and maybe because writing a story or whatever is more long lasting, and not some quick fix hook up like writing a blog entry. I don't know, go figure. So, that's some of my dilemma when I sit down to work on my writing - Sometimes I stare at the screen and sometimes I'm typing and sometimes I'm deleting everything I just did. Understand? Or do I need to clarify more? (Feel free to ask me questions if you need more ideas of what I'm talking about...lol) Second, and probably the most devastating of everything that I was going to say today, and probably the main reason for why I'm going on this massive rambling that most people don't care...Ooops! I have Diabetes, and after I lost my job in 2016 I lost my insurance and couldn't get my medication or go to a doctor...whatever I had to do. Long story short (too late), I developed these things in my eyes that I call Fuzzy Dots, and they are quite annoying, but not a major deal at this time - but over time they might become even worse OR I just might lose my sight all together (even legally blind would be bad). FD's are like if I'm reading something on the computer, and I'm looking at a certain word, I can tell that certain areas are blurred out or "fuzzy". For example, if I'm looking at the word fuzzy, it's like the words below it are blurred out, and if I look at a certain part of the word, the beginning is blurred. The most frustrating part is trying to explain things to people ESPECIALLY when you're Obsessive Compulsive. I am currently going to an doctor that is helping me, but his appointments are like six months apart and it's like I wanna get this worked out NOW (pulling my hair out). I do go to see him in January, and I'm basically going to flat out ask him - Is this something that can be fixed? - If he says that it can be fixed, then I have to figure out if financially I can do it. If he says that he can't do it, then I have to figure out how I'm going to hold it together (because believe me, life sucks right now for me, lol). So there are my two major problems why I find it hard to write. It's not that I don't have ideas, believe me I have the ideas. But I get so distracted by my OCD and by my Fuzzy Dots. Most of the time I sit there in my chair, feeling sorry for myself because it's like my life is over. I think about losing my eye sight, and the fact that enjoying things will most likely slow down even more. I'll have to go through the chore of learning how to use a computer (as blind person). It's bad enough that analyze everything that I say, and write - but I'm not getting any younger. Most of the people on here around my age already have six pages of content (WTF...AC Benus...lol). I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, or to rush over and put their arms around me (Hmmm, wait! What am I'm saying? That's a different topic). The ultimate idea would be that someone could write my stories for me, that would be awesome. But that would mean that you would have to love the ideas as much as me, and finding someone like that is probably going to be rare. I like to write a certain way, and like most of you have been saying - Write how you wanna write! - Do what works for you! - I get it, but I still can't sit down and write a simple paragraph like some you can (I know practice, practice, practice - humbug - lol). I have been writing for a long time now, but the problem is that it stays locked up rather tight (deleted), or it's in a format that people won't read, like a script. That's it for now, this is longer than what I was planning on and I was obsessive compulsive about 64.2% of time so I better stop before I beat someone pointless (me). If you would like to hear more about some of fetish ideas that I mentioned in my previous entry I did hide a link in my blog somewhere - I don't wanna make a big deal about it, but that's where my writing was a year ago with script writing (ANYWAYS).

Crazy Thoughts are like flowers blooming in a field where they just grow like crazy weeds whipping around a tree, and they seem to have no destination - I don't know what I'm going to do with my writing right now. Superboy is a fantasy type story that was grew from a fetish thing (lol). I guess I could explain a little - Several years back, probably years but most likely just one year I started wring scripts for "Adult Oriented Purposes" - I actually still have the web site, but I haven't logged in for some time. I wrote stories - cheap stories - that basically turned me one. I then put out for customs, and if they were willing t pay a few bucks I would write whatever fantasy they wanted. Honestly, I wish that I could draw, and it doesn't have to be 100% perfect, but at least having the ability to draw details and maybe people would pay for that. But, all of that to say this - Superboy - was part of that fetish fiction. It grew from the enjoyment of certain things and it was just word porn (lol). Then I had this great idea to actually put a story to it, and I thought how much I enjoyed writing the story that it would go far. Well, I'm thirty chapters in (actually you'll probably be amazed at this, but I wrote the whole thing on my Iphone), and I thought that I was actually going to start book two really soon because the ideas kept pumping through my mind. That is what's so crazy - I have all these ideas and I struggle with my writing and wondering how good of a writer I actually am. I know it takes practice and I'm taking that into reality, but I've been writing scripts for like ten years (that is why I like present tense) - and I know that book writing is quite different, because you have to say more (show more) in a book than a script. I think that's why my writing sounds like a script sometimes. I actually don't write a technical script like some are familiar with. I write the story. I don't focus on camera shots unless it's very important to the story. Everyone tells me to do what is good for me. And I appreciate everyone giving me advice when I post on here. I agree with what you're saying, but I guess that most people don't read scripts, and that's why I wanted to move to book writing, and I thought that I would just keep doing what I'm doing and put the dialogue like in a book (instead of script). A part of me enjoys writing my chapter outlines and I hoped that people would just be entertained in reading those (lol), because I could finish a book really quick because they come out faster than the actual book (lol). I'm actually going to try a few things in the next couple of days - I'm going to look over the writing prompts and write for the fun of it, and try to write some entertaining stuff. I may let some of you check it out (like beta readers) not because it's going to be released, but to see what people think. It does help when you get feedback on your writing (good or bad), because how do you know IF things are getting better or worse? Unless you're actually publishing your book and waiting for people to buy a copy. Some of my other Crazy Thoughts - Some of my other stories that have been sitting in my brain are still there and would like to start writing those as well. Superboy is kind of my testing space - it's what I'm using to practice my writing. I don't think it's ever going to get published (except for free online reading, of course). Like I've said before, I would have to change some non-original content like the mention of Krypton which is based on something else which is not mine (obviously, and most people know that). So yes, Crazy Thoughts are good because they will bring ideas into your head, but sometimes your thoughts can become weeds in your imagination if you don't do something about it. They will sit there and fester and bring down other things.

How in the world is this possible? How can I have an idea decades old and I'm still holding on to it? Is it possible that I struggle with letting someone else write it? Truth is, I struggle with the reality that this story deserves a better writer, because I want it to be perfect. Is that why it's taking so long? Am I building my talent, and trying to get to the point where I"m good enough, or am I hoping that someone will step up and write the DAMN thing? Lol. You don't even know how long I have been working this idea in my head and it develops mostly with listening to upbeat alternative rock or techno music. WOW, what the heck is this story and why is it so hard to let go of? It's not something I wanna let go of--so--that's why it's still there. Am I going to reveal the story HERE? Will I let people in and know what the story is all about? I don't know, because I still don't know if this is going to get done, because I don't know if I'm the one to do it. It's not the holy grail of of stories, believe me I'm not trying to say that it's the best story idea out there, because it's not. I'm sure that there are plenty of great stories right here on GA. There has to be. These many writers and ideas, there are plenty of good stories that probably deserve this recognition more than mine (Guaranteed). So what's the next step for this story? You need to listen to NF (Lost in the Moment) and you will know what I"m dealing with. There's a lot of pain right here in my brain, and sometimes I see my characters being the very ones that are there existing for me. They're the ones looking back, waiting for me to bring them to life. I saw a picture this week that inspired me to go for the next chapter in this story--"The King"-- On Netflix. I haven't watched the movie yet, but the actor that plays the King (Oh my Goodness). Just seeing his picture it made me think of my story, and the characters there were waiting to come to life. I know I'm crazy (Lol). So, answer the question - What is the next step? My next step is this, I'm going to hope that either I find my writing ability OR that I find a group of people that would interested in knowing more about the story. Do I want to publish, or just put it on here--That, I don't know because I don't know how deep and complex it's going to be--but to wet your appetite and let you see what I thought years ago. I thought this story was going to be the next Potter, the next Narnia and even Game of Thrones a run for their money. Am I serious? Yeah, and right now I'm so excited but yet it still sits there in my brain, developing and developing. All this to say, if you have a story that you always thought of doing but thought WHY--Don't give it up. Do it. That idea may very well be your holy grail.

I must say, at the beginning I wasn't sure if I was going to keep up with the story but I really have to admit that it's a nice read. I enjoy the story between Keter and Stravor. I can't help but remember that he got orders to take care of Keter for some reason, and I'm trembling inside at the idea of what is going to happen. You're painting quite an emotional connection between the two companions....Ahhh. The connection between Keter and Shade was king of nice also. It was like this man/boy, kid whatever he is, is now connected with Stravor and is going on this journey with him. I guess I'm seeing Stravor in the right way. I saw him as a very big man that would scare many around him, and it was comical (a little) to see everyone part the sea as he made his way down the street, but is it really him or the sword. I'm sure it's him and what the sword can do, but I think it's the power the sword holds Great job, my friend with this story. It makes me want to do better with my story. Lol.

I created the world of Arcadia some time ago when I thought to myself--Hey, it would be great to have a story that makes people just as entertained as Game of Thrones, or Harry Potter or some other big story franchise. That doesn't mean that I'm that great of a writer, or someone that could even achieve that standing in the writer world. Believe me, I'm not cocky or arrogant when I say these things - I just say what I wanna say because I believe it. Do you believe in your dream? I know as a writer sometimes you have to believe in what you're writing. Or are you just writing a set limit of words each day? Is that possible? Will people just write to get words down on the pages? I feel like some of the authors out there today are just writing for the paycheck. They're just writing to get that big payday and move to the next one. How do I know that? Well, because if it goes through my mind it has to mean that there's a possibility that it could be true. I don't think that every story sitting out there on the shelf is because the writer truly loved their story. So, my question to you do you write because it's the story you believe in? Arcadia, is a dream for me. Ten plus years ago, I created Arcadia because I was lonely. The main characters were best friends, heroes, buddies and it became my purpose in life to create this story and to give myself this place of escape. It was the place I could go when I felt like the world was collapsing around me. Now let's fast forward to now, I created Superboy several months ago--Well, actually I created this story back when I was writing my Fetish Fiction. I was using this Superman story to write something that made me feel good. Yes, I said it. I wrote this originally because I was getting turned on by the main character. Wouldn't you? A nicely fit young man wearing a Red, Lycra bodysuit. You would be crazy to say that you wouldn't like to read that. Lol. Now, a few months ago--I took the idea that I created and made a little more enjoyable to everyone. I wanted to create a superhero story that contained and gay theme. Now this is only the beginning of the journey, because now--Superboy and Arcadia are now one story. But the question is... Is my writing good enough, and will it entertain people?

Thank you so much. Happy to be here 😀

Getting older is hard, or "Adulting" - I thought that when I got older that having friends would be just as easy as when I was younger. But when your friends are all getting married or working on their careers, no it's not as easy. Getting older and being alone is my thing I'm not doing well, and yes I guess mine is a little more intense and maybe it's not the point of the topic, but it was the first thing I thought of. I had a friend in Florida that I was roommates with for about four months. I miss him greatly and I wish that I could have him back. I then thought I would write a story about him and make it kind of an escape from the hell I was feeling. I don't know if it's a good thing, but it's my way of dealing--writing is always my way of dealing. So yeah, loneliness is not something I do well, especially when I'm longing for companionship.

Hello to everyone. My name is DarkBishop and you can call me Bishop if you like. I have always been a creative thinker since I was a kid. I would write just for the heck of it when I was bored. I can watch a movie and think how better I could do it sometimes, I don’t know if I could but sometimes I would like to think I could. I spent a year or so writing fetish fiction for people that wanted to be “entertained”. But it didn’t fulfill anything. Then I had this idea, it was going to be bigger than GoT, or maybe Harry Potter. But this idea sat with me for 10 years if not longer. Now, I have the opportunity to write it...somewhat. Thanks to everyone that have made me feel welcome so far. Looking forward to getting involved.

Hello there. Good start. I get this powerful feeling about this story. I’m curious about Keter and the story that is going to go there. I enjoy the descriptions you give of the statues, but not really statues. It’s like it’s a world just created by you. Anyways, if it’s based on something I don’t have a clue, but I’m curious and I’m going to keep going.

I enjoy writing and creating stories, but I think the problem is that I’m not the greatest writer. I didn’t take any classes, I just always enjoyed creating stories. I just finished officially my first story, and I released each chapter for people to read but I never got any feedback. I would get tons of people supporting the post where I mentioned a new chapter, but as far as commenting on the story, it was non existent. I know that writing should first and foremost be something that I enjoy and it is. Realistically though, any author is going to say that they like knowing that people are reading. Duh. Now, my story is based on non-original things and can be easily changed with a major “find and replace” but if it’s not going to be a story that people will want to read why even bother? I’m currently working on the second book wondering if there’s even a point. I guess you would have to know the background and why I’m writing the story. I started out writing a story that was based on someone I actually met. It was geared around — I don’t want to say quite yet, because if I could find a willing editor and even beta reader I may try to release my stories, but again I wasn’t getting the feedback that I wanted. Does that make me a bad writer? People tell me that I write okay, so maybe it’s the content. Most of my stories involve the gay lifestyle and situations that some people may not want to read. My current story is actually posted on my personal site—I won’t list it here, because I don’t think I’m allowed. The first, actually written story, is a fantasy, superhero story based on a planet (which is what I would have to change if I publish) that most would recognize from another story. It’s based on an alien that comes to earth to save earth but finds love in someone. Thats it for now. More later if people respond. What am I looking for? Advice on what to do with completed story? Interested in beta reading telling me how bad it is?