Summerabbacat

A colourful, witty and rollicking tale about a Katz, Alvin affectionately known as Alley Cat by his late grandmother, having to fulfil certain conditions to inherit the dreaded Doily Dungeon from her. Failure to fulfil these conditions will result in the property being transferred to cats, strays in the care of the local shelter. A quirky cast of human, botanical and inanimate "characters" (Granny's heirloom tomatoes and dreaded decorative items, including a plethora of doilies, possessing "larger than life" personas of their own) seduced this reader, until now a "virgin" to the talents of the author, @Topher Lydon. V-card now taken, more lustful encounters await.

Surrounded by a baker's dozen of purring pussies? Does that sound familiar @chris191070? Heating problem solved @Topher Lydon.

Apart from enjoying the warmth of this story immensely @Topher Lydon, I learned what pleather is and what a K-Car is. I can now say I wear pleather shoes, pleather belts and have a pleather wallet (I have always referred to it as vegan leather). Whilst I recognise pleather is not environmentally sound, in my view it is preferable to killing cows, kangaroos, crocodiles/alligators and any other number of animals, to make leather. I have not bought any products made from it yet, but have seen online many such pleather products made from pineapple skin. I have not driven a car for 41 years and have never owned a car, so had no idea what a K-Car was until I googled it. I initially thought it must have been a specific South Korean car, K-Car like K-Pop. I have seen the odd car here in Sydney, Australia, which would likely be considered a K-Car. Delightful from start to finish @Topher Lydon, with plenty of laughter and plenty of tears; the essence of a terrific story, provoking some kind of reaction from the reader, achieved in abundance.

No, that was Chad Douglas.

And a very welcome late stage introduction @Topher Lydon. I am going to imagine Alvin and Tabby Katz welcomed many more strays into their butter yellow cottage, replete with doilies, spoons, ceramic shepherdesses and two new additions, scratching posts and litter trays.

That explains it then @Paladin. I grew up in a warmer climate and we did not have a fireplace, hence no mantlepiece. In fact, I have only ever lived in one dwelling which had a fireplace, and it was not operational.

Indeed @weinerdog. It would be a perfectly understandable question for a lay person to ask; however, as Benevetti is a police officer it appears to be quite foolish of him to have asked this question, particularly given none of the other officers felt the need to ask this question. Is it possible Benevetti has some connection to Corcoran and/or AC Barrett? It seems unlikely, but only @Mark Ponyboy Peters knows the truth. It certainly appears to be the case @akascrubber, although Casey indicated there was some animosity between Corcoran and AC Barrett. Does Corcoran have some dirt on AC Barrett which he used to leverage Rick's appointment to the team? I still think the connection between AC Barrett and Corcoran is far more than a mutual attraction to young blonde surfy types. This is certainly a feasible explanation @Paladin. Rejection is not taken lightly by some, but it is quite an extreme reaction if this is what prompted Corcoran's murderous rage. I have commented before Corcoran may have been the victim of sexual abuse himself, perhaps at the hands of AC Barrett. I still wonder if this might be the case. The basement has clearly been Corcoran's lair for some time. Rick's concern for Brad and Nick appears to have been well-founded. I hope he contacts them and tells them to stay with their grandmother until Corcoran is caught. Rick needs to place Adam on high alert too, in fact, perhaps Adam's apartment should also be under surveillance. I sense the noose is getting tighter around Corcoran's neck and he will at some stage do something careless. @Mark Ponyboy Peters my massage therapist is in an apartment block next door to the Woolpack Hotel in Chalmers Street. I had an appointment there last Sunday. If Corcoran has not been caught by the 8th of February I will see if I can spot him hanging around. He would not notice me; I am so far removed from a young blonde surfy type. Get Rick to e-mail his photograph and I will see what I can do.

Gotta love those Spice Girls - Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cardamom, Ginger and Turmeric. And the Spice Girls movie, Spiceworld, hilarious. I have to say I did not much care for Wannabe though. Give me Viva Forever. Like the Sweet Transvestite himself, Alvin shivered with Antici-pation when thinking of the imminent arrival of his Tabby. Thankfully, Tabby is a little closer to home than the planet Transexual in the galaxy of Transylvania. Granny's plan for her Alley Cat and Tabby seems close to fruition. For it is written in the doilies, witnessed by the spoons, worshipped by the ceramic shepherdesses, the mating of an Alley Cat and a Tabby. I don't recall the ceramic shepherdesses ever being popular in Australia. Have you ever seen them @Paladin?

Snow. I have never understood the appeal. Bloody awful stuff. The only good thing I can say about it is that it was the inspiration for Kate Bush's 50 Words For Snow. Merrickville farewelled its wandering gardener like a soldier off to war. The reverence of the occasion seems to have had a calming effect upon Alvin, but for how long remains to be seen.

I am from Sydney, Australia and we have very thin blood. Christmas Day it was only 22°C and even people who don't like the heat were complaining how disappointingly cold it was. I like it when it is 35°C + wth 75% + humidity. Bliss.

Tabby heading south in winter to seek warmer weather is a ruse, a complete fabrication. What no one knows, not even Granny knew, is that he heads north, to the North Pole, to visit his birth parents, Nicholas and Alexandra Claus. His real name is Tortoiseshell Claus, and he was "planted" at birth into his family, just like Damien from The Omen. Rather than having 666 carved into his scalp like Damien did, Tabby has the image of holly, mistletoe and a reindeer tattooed on his scalp. He spends the time prior to Christmas helping his father manufacture toys and his mother bake goods for humans the world over. Once Christmas is over he spends additional time with his birth parents, learning more about plants from his father who has a PhD in botany, and more about food from his mother, the original domestic goddess long before Nigella Lawson claimed the moniker. Then again, perhaps he is telling the truth. I can well understand his wanting to escape a Canadian winter. I shiver and shake when the temperature drops below 25°C (77°F), and I cannot comprehend temperatures of less than 0°C. It appears all is well now in the Doily Dungeon, and that Tabby's imminent departure is not as foreboding as Alvin previously thought.

Alvin may have to console himself with Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington, and just maybe this gem from Donna Summer. Is Tabby being selfish leaving Alvin to cope with the winter blues on his own. The rational part of me says no, the not so rational part says sonofabitch needs a good slapping, maybe a Higgins family member can deliver said slapping.

Perhaps absence will make the heart grow fonder @Paladin, and there will be no need to domesticate Tabby. Previous journeys south were completed by Tabby as a single man, he may find the joy of the companionship he has experienced with Alley Cat even more alluring than the sun. Tabby does not appear to be "feral" and has not shown any inclination to "spray" to mark his territory, so spaying is unlikely to be required. Joint "grooming" in something other than the lily pond might encourage further bonding too. After all, it's not only dogs who lick their balls because they can.

A Canadian "goose" perhaps @drpaladin?

Thank you @drpaladin. I will have to invest time in reading that story at least.

Granny Katz's apple pie - human catnip @Paladin and @drpaladin. Once consumed, it can lead to fornication so explosive and exhausting the participants are left in a catatonic state. I am very pleased Alley Cat listened and learned from Cassandra Wilson. A very sensual chapter @Topher Lydon. Alley Cat should pay heed to ancient words of wisdom - Tabbies do it best.

I sense there is a prior published story or stories it may be useful for me to read given this comment and some of the other comments from my fellow readers. It does not appear to be part of a series, and I reviewed the synopsis of some of the other stories and could not find an obvious match. Am I mistaken @Topher Lydon that there is a related story or stories?

"You have forty-eight hours to restore the connection. Failure to maintain utilities is grounds for immediate eviction and asset forfeiture. The kitties are waiting, Mr. Katz. They have already picked out curtains." The video ended. Ethan tucked the tablet under his arm like a football. "The shelter volunteers are particularly fond of a gingham pattern," he added helpfully." I hope when Alvin retains ownership of the Doily Dungeon and decides to stay that he and Tabby adopt the cats from the shelter. No cat should have to suffer the indignity of gingham. Mr Hemlock was an "interesting" character, a curmudgeon to most, a very introverted person who thrived on the connection with Alvin. I hope Alvin takes the time to make his acquaintance again at some stage. Humour abounds and feline references delight this @Summerabbacat @Topher Lydon.

This chapter made me somewhat melancholic @Robert Hugill, with Charlie's departure from one rental accommodation (with Kelsey) into another (with Louis). It reminded me of my life in my 20's and early 30's when I lived in a number of different households, something I do not miss though as I have lived alone, apart from numerous felines, since 1997. It also made me think of this marvellous song, which was a huge hit in Australia in 1977 (#1 for 4 weeks) and a top 10 hit in the UK. I rather liked the song and the accompanying video. Watching the video now I cannot believe how cheap it was, almost as if no one thought the song had any hope of being a hit. Aunt Daphne is such a coward. How old is she? Five? Charlie is well rid of the old blowhard. He should try to pay back the loan to her and Graham as soon as possible and then have no further contact with her. Tom is an odd duck. I thought he would be far more gregarious than what he is. He is certainly licking his wounds. I suspect there may be more to his story of burnout than what he is letting on. More enjoyment in the Hugillverse @Robert Hugill.

All this talk of morning/mourning wood, hardwood and taking root has me all "verklempt" @drsawzall. I ask for one thing only, I don't want anyone to "show us their beaver". The one you posted above is quite sufficient. The appearance of the green-eyed monster in Tabby's countenance was a relief. It proved he is in touch with reality, that life is not all kale, kombucha and kindness. Make the "pepperoni pop"? For fuck's sake, the only thing which will pop if you continue to eat pepperoni is an artery. A cracking pace @Topher Lydon. It brought to mind Doris Day singing The Deadwood Stage from Calamity Jane.

"How about him and Barrett? Do they know each other, do you think?’ I asked. At this he really did smile. ‘Yeah, I’m sure they do. They would sometimes ask me if I’d seen the other one recently, and they would both get pissed if I said yes. In the end I always used to say I hadn’t, because it was like . . ." I thought there was likely a connection between Corcoran and Barrett, however, Casey's comment revealed little as to what the connection is, probably because he does not know himself. There appears to be no love lost between the two, which is very intriguing. I assume each knows the others' preference for young blonde teenage boys, and it is this which is the likely source of the animosity between the two. AC Barrett is seemingly being protected by the Police Minister; if so, clearly AC Barrett has some dirt on him. Perhaps he, the Police Minister, has a preference for sex with underage boys and/or girls. Like several of the faithful have commented, Rick's discussion of Casey's infatuation with him was handled with sensitivity and certainty. It is quite clear why the boys all like him, he is a kindred spirit. His own suffering has given him a deeper understanding of what they have experienced and how it has impacted them. I don't see Thompsonville in the future for any of the boys, but possible adoption by Tom and Beth, Rick and Adam, or by Helen would not surprise. Speaking of Helen and children, I won't be at all surprised if Helen has had a child of her own which she gave up for adoption or which was taken from her because she is a lesbian. There is an innate sadness to her which she masks with a tougher than nails persona. Outstanding chapter @Mark Ponyboy Peters, exemplifying why you finished 2025 with 17 top 10 placings across a myriad of categories.

A chill Theo perhaps @Paladin? Hard to imagine. Forget What A Difference A Day Makes (although a great song), in Theo's case it should be What A Difference A Tongue Makes.

Although the song pays tribute to the "incorrect" gender, Theo worked hard for the "money shot". A sizzling sex scene @Laura S. Fox, with Theo particularly appreciating a never-experienced before rimming from Vince. I imagine now he has experienced nirvana with his guardian mate, he will want a repeat performance again, and again, and again ...............And as for the "Cinnamon One", the health benefits Theo will reap from further "oral appreciation" of the field mouse, cannot be underestimated. He has already benefitted with a reduction in stress. Between the butt-munching guardian and the cinnamon one, the alpha will be invincible Beyond The Veil.

Gerardo's account of his family was awful. Surrounded and belittled by men, who mistakenly believe their toxic masculinity makes them "real men". The arrogant bullying grandfather who brands Gerardo a pansy, a queer, a faggot because he likes to draw and paint (had the old fool never heard of Pablo Picasso, painter, notorious womaniser and misogynist, just the sort of "man" one would think grandfather might admire). The damaged father who cowers when bullied by his father, Gerardo's grandfather, and then takes his frustrations out on his wife, Gerardo's mother. The bullying brothers who have mindlessly bought into Franco's ideals because it facilitates their continuation in life as brain-dead fuckwits who believe they are "real men". His family makes Ximo's family look like saints. And the football team. One can only hope their predatory behaviour comes back to bite them on the arse. Very well written @Gary L. The restraint used in describing the bullying scenes made them all the more menacing and violent as one's imagination was ignited by suggestion. I had the song Real Men by your former fellow countryman, Joe Jackson, playing on loop in my head as the bullying scenes took place. I have a sticker on the back of my front door (I cannot put it on the front of the front door as the front is "common property") which states 'Real Me Rescue Cats'. It was given to me by a now deceased truck driver, a really butch bloke, who was the spouse of a woman who was associated with the pet rescue group I belonged to. Very much the quintessential Aussie bloke, until any mention of animal cruelty, at which point he became a blubbering mess. He, like me, adored cats. He was a tireless fund raiser too until ill health reduced his capacity for many things significantly. In my eyes he was a "real man".

"It was white. Or, it had been white. Now it was a shade of cream that suggested it had been chain-smoking since the Reagan administration. It had wood paneling on the sides—fake wood, peeling slightly at the edges. The white vinyl top was up, looking like a bad toupee." Such vivid imagery. I had no idea what a LeBaron was, but after reading this it just had to be a large, ugly, petrol-guzzling tank of a car, one which I imagine Granny would have had trouble seeing over the dashboard, unless she was a large-framed woman. "You boys drive safe. And watch out for the potholes on Elm. They're eating Toyotas this year." One of my favourite remarks in this chapter. I immediately thought of an 80's classic by Blondie, the fabulous Rapture, in which Deborah Harry sings: "You go out at night, eatin' cars You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too Mercuries and Subaru And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars Then, when there's no more cars You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet" Mr Vain and Barbie Girl. Infuriatingly catchy. In a decade which gave us grunge and Alanis Morrisette, Eurodisco was a welcome reprieve. Contrary to the bullshit rhetoric of the anti-disco boneheads who participated in the demolition at Comiskey Park, Chicago, on 12 July 1979, disco did not die in 1979/1980. This story is as I anticipated @Topher Lydon, a riotous romp, full of sparkling wit, pop culture references and quirky characters direct from a John Waters film (without the alliterative names).