Menzoberranzen

Remind me to consider dating women from now on

I will be drinking wine and eating chocolate in my apartment, simultaneously enjoying and hating being single. Valentine's is the one day of the year when I hate being alone, and I get sick of hearing my friends go on about how wonderful their boyfriends/girlfriends are. Makes me want to be sick. I've just started dating someone (who will be in India for a wedding), so my self-pity will be tempered somewhat. Anyway, my bitterness aside, I think a night at home (assuming you can cook/bake something tasty) with wine, food and a romantic night together is a nice Valentine's idea. As long as you make some gesture that is sincere and not a Valentine's cliche (please, no un-personalized Hallmark cards with a box of chocolates), I think that encapsulates what the holiday should be about. It's not a pissing contest to see who can buy the biggest diamond. Menzo

When I was in NYC over Christmas, I saw a Gucci smoking jacket for $17,000. And yes, that is the right number of zeros. Menzo

That's only because you read stories from GayAuthors

Oh, the poor gay atheists out there.

English through and through on my mother's side, and a mix of Scottish and English on my father's. Menzo

Mexx is nice, and not overly pricey, but their stuff falls apart. My favorite label (outside the really high-end haute couture designers, at least) is Club Monaco. A&F gets points for having hot models, though. Menzo

Ellen Page (of recent Juno fame) was in that movie. It was...intense. Excellent, and one of the better psycological thrillers I've seen. Menzo

You are defining relativism in a way that is inescapable. I challenge you to find anyone in the world who doesn't have some things that they consider 'wrong.' No matter how strong a nihilist you find, he will never tell you he doesn't think torturing people for pleasure is wrong. I don't deny that charge; I consider it 'wrong' based on the way I have evolved. Firstly, the fact that I consider it wrong doesn't make it so. Secondly, that is not the definition of moral relativism, which is what I was defending myself against. Moral relativism is the assertion that the same action can be simultaneously right for one person and wrong for another. A good example would be slavery; were slave owners of two hundred years ago immoral despite the fact that it was an accepted practice? Nihilism, as I mentioned, is not a practical moral theory in that it doesn't give guidance on how to live one's life. Obviously, by rejecting the claim that truth is ascertainable, it could be self-consistent and still do so. However, it is in our natures to act as if every choice were equally meaningless, and so we search for something to guide us by. I think the basic claims of rational egoism are false (hence my claim to nihilism) but, in the context of the world we live in, I think it is the preferable system of morality. According to the definition you're using, that is relative, and I won't deny that but I will deny that it is moral relativism as it is technically defined. Menzo

Well considering that I think religious fideism is intellectual cowardice, I'll avoid taking any actions comparable to it. I trust people, and I would expect a partner to trust me, but there are certain things which I think it is reasonable to never trust completely. Menzo

Precisely. I think it's possible to love more than one person, but I don't think that polyamorous relationships work and I would never be part of one. Menzo

The 'hot twins' fantasy is something, I think, to which most people can relate, but I can't say that I'd ever read a story featuring incest. Menzo

I think that the meaning I derive from my existence gives me reason to continue living, and gives me reason to adopt a moral code that is somewhat in sync with the rest of the world, but that is a subjective 'meaning.' Really, whether I live or commit suicide, behave 'morally' or 'immorally' makes no difference because there are no universal laws that state what is moral or immoral. How can there be meaning in an objective, secular sense? My happiness, while important to me, is irrelevant to the universe we live in. My existence is irrelevant and the world would go around much the same if I wasn't there. That's what I mean by no meaning. I think it's human arrogance that leads people to believe that we are somehow important; as if a few thousand years out of billions one one flyspeck planet somehow makes us more than cosmic dust. Menzo

Thanks for clarifying; I think most people follow something similar to that. Trying to analyze moral theory can be...daunting. And in defense of my favorite religious group, I'm sure that the evangelicals are only choosing the parts of the bible that they think are good. They just have bad judgement, that's all Menzo

I voted for 'I have a significant number of gay friends.' I'm a fairly private person, but of the friends I do have, a significant portion of them are gay. I'm comfortable with things as they are now, and my best friend is gay. I have no close lesbian friends, and only one or two casual ones. I've always found (and wondered why it is) that gay guys and lesbians do not get along particularly well. (Although, Kevin seems to, but I'm putting that down to the fact that I think Kevin gets along with everyone .) Menzo

Well that's good, cuz you lost me EDIT: After a brief google search, a Flowmaster appears to be some sort of automoblie muffler. I wonder if it comes in pink? In answer to Kevin's question, I have a few casual straight male friends (one of whom is delightfully comfortable hanging out with an inordinate number of gays.) As I type this, I realize that all but one of the straight males I have more than an acquaintanceship with are very meterosexual. Since I was a small child my few friends have been girls and the one close male friend I had recently came out to me (which actually pissed me off more than anything, but that's for another day.) I don't actively avoid friendships with straight guys, I just don't have much in common with them at all. Sometimes I find them a breath of fresh air, but most of the time I find them crude and a bit too stereotypical in a give-me-a-big-power-tool-and-some-beer kind of way. That said, I am quite partial to the straight, casual friends I do have. And I appreciate their ability to let me get wasted on tequila and then let me put my hands in all sorts of inappropriate places. I don't seek out friends, let alone friends who fit into a certain category, but I would not be averse to having more straight friends. Menzo (who's lost most, if not all, of his coherence and really, really needs to be sleeping.)

Graeme, when you say you do what 'works' what, in the moral sense, does that mean? Racism works. Heterosexism works. Murdering people and getting away with it works. I'm a fan of pragmatism (but don't get me started on pragmatic truth theory) but I'm not sure exactly how you extend it to a moral theory as well. Pragmatic ethics exist, but to say that something is moral because it 'works' doesn't really make sense because, as I noted, murdering people for pleasure 'works.' Menzo

Your devout Mormon parents are not good enough reasons to stay in the closet. I was outed and it cost me the love of my entire family and almost all of my friends at the time. Yes, those demons still haunt me, and yes the scars of my adolescence still show, but in the end it's not about what other people think. I don't care that my parents don't speak to me, because their opinion is less important than mine. I am proud of who I am, and that includes my sexuality. Menzo

There are more than enough unwanted children in this world. If I ever felt the desire to be a parent, I would adopt. I see no need to bring more life into an already overpopulated world. Menzo

Thanks Jamie I shower before, and usually after, sex. It's cleaner and nicer that way. I'm bigger on it before than after, and wax is always more effective than dried semen I like my boys to be squeaky clean before getting in the sack. I've never understood the whole 'male scent' fetish. I much prefer the scent of Oil of Olay.

No, definitely the boring kind (says the vanilla gay ). It's impossible to be 100% sure of fidelity unless you are around the person 24/7. I don't know that I could ever trust someone that much, but if I trusted them enough to be safe if they cheated on me and was highly trustful that they wouldn't cheat on me in the first place, I could consider it. I'm not a safe-sex freak (I'm sorry, but flavoring really doesn't make latex any more tasty) but I'm pretty damn careful about it. So many people have the love of their life cheat on them that I'm not really sure I could ever place 100% confidence in someone. Menzo

I'm very careful about those three words. I throw them around with friends and even coworkers, but if I'm dating someone, I wouldn't say it until it really had passed the infatuation stage. In fact, there's only one guy I've ever said it too, and I probably shouldn't have. Once you actually are in love with someone, I don't see a problem with saying it often - as long as it doesn't become a neediness trait. Menzo

Atlas Shrugged is a titanic work that is a very heavy read, and can get repetitive. The Fountainhead presents objectivism in its developing stages, and while still a heavy read, it's much more accessible than Atlas Shrugged. My favorite book is actually her least well-known, We the Living. It's more narrative than philosophical, and it exposes a less...absolute side of Rand. The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged are both fairly important works of literature, Old Bob, so I imagine that you could find a German translation at any sizable library. The German title is 'Wer ist John Galt.' A quick search on google didn't reveal a French translation, but you might be able to find one. Menzo PS Atlas Shrugged is one of the longest novels ever written with a mammoth 645 000 words

One of my favourite activities in my philosophy courses was to cite Rand at every opportunity. She comes closest to describing the code I live my life by, but it was always a source of great amusement to watch my liberal professors go into near apoplexy at the mention of her name.

Dont worry Kevin, I'll brave the rain Earlier I said: I meant to say: I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm not involved with, but I'm not likely to indulge any of their fantasies or odd sexual kinks. I think my post might make a little more sense now. I agree with Kevin in that I am willing to do some things that I would not normally consider for someone particularly special. Menzo PS Vanilla sex is under-rated!