JeffsFort

Yup, it's that time of year again. Time to look at the entire sum of our life and decide what parts of it we want to change. It's the same thing every year, isn't it? Maybe you want to lose some weight, maybe you want to get more exercise, maybe give up a bad habit or even pick up a new bad habit... Every year we all bring some form of resolution to the table and way too often, in a month or so we learn how many of them are already off the table. The last person that asked me what my New Year's Resolution was going to be just got a blank stare as a response because, I just hadn't put any thought into it. Honestly, I think it's healthy to consider things in life that we want to improve about ourselves, provided it's realistic. "I want to try to be less short tempered at work." Is a good one. "I want to stop eating so much junk food." is another that if followed through on would be an accomplishment. But aim too high and you are almost guaranteeing that you won't be able to accomplish it. "I want to invent a best selling gadget that will make me a millionaire instantly." Yeah, plan to pretend you never said that one by February. So how about you? Do you have a resolution you want to try to stick to? Do you think that it's realistic and have confidence that you are going to make it stick or did you phone it in this year? If you have one that you want to keep, what's your plan to make it happen? You never know, maybe your plan is similar to someone else's and maybe you both can team up and help each other. It's possible. So is the New Year, how are you making a New You? Or, is the old you your best you in your eyes? (That makes sense, right? LOL!)

Santa Came Early!!! (Okay, stop snickering :P) Just like when I was a kid, I couldn't wait to start opening presents so, you get to as well! This one is from us to you! https://imagine-magazine.org/releases/volume-110/

Funny and adorable!

Those of you who have been around for the better part of the last couple of decades know that our communities look a lot different than they did back around the turn of the century. Not so much that we are focused on anything different or any more or less involved. It's mainly because we are missing many of the key players from back then. More often now we hear that someone who has been with us for our entire online journey, has finished a journey of their own and will no longer accompany us on ours. As an arguably responsible and somewhat reasonable adult, I know that this is a simple fact of life. Our time here is relatively short and the fact that we shared that time with others makes it so much more meaningful. For me, that is a bit of a comfort until I put just a little too much thought into it. My answer has been a bit altered because of a recent event. An "Real Life" friend of many years passed a way a couple days ago (from the date of typing this) and once again I find myself taking comfort in the fact that they live on in my heart and memory now... at least until I am no longer. So often I have thought about all the shared memories with others that are uniquely mine. Conversations, events, or even messages, just moments that are mine alone. In my offline life this has been most prominent in memories with people like my mother or grand mother, adoptive father or various aunts and uncles that are no longer with us. Not life altering memories either, simple little things that now they are gone, I am the keeper of the only recollection of those events. My mother teaching me how to drive, my grandmother and aunt teaching me how to blow bubbles with bubblegum when I was like 5 while my mother was at work, or how exasperated with them my mother was when she came to pick me up. (lol!) My adoptive father telling me that I was a "Good Boy" on the day he passed or even the time I spent with our own Comicality on the phone trying to get his replacement laptop up and running or of us tossing laughs back and forth as we stumbled while we assembled an online project... They all exist in my memory meaning, when I am done here, those memories are just simply lost. That is upsetting to me. So, today my Christmas want is to be assured that I get to take these memories with me. That they are in fact not going to be lost to eternity when I close my eyes for the final time. That in spite of all the controversy, there is in fact a here after and we get to share those memories with the people we created them with once again. I know that many struggle to find a meaning in the finality of a lifespan but in my life, mixed in with all the bad memories are quite a few keepers. I want to be allowed to keep them. That's what I want for Christmas.

Whenever most of us are asked what we would like for Christmas (or whatever holiday or event you celebrate when gifts are exchanged), we typically choose the realistic items. Clothing, electronics, a vacation, something fun... Things that are not so selfish or just realistic. Sometimes, there are things that we may have in mind that we want but, it wouldn't be realistic to ask for. So the question this month: "What I 'REALLY' Want For Christmas" Let it be something selfish, or outlandish, maybe embarrassing, or maybe just something impossible. There's nothing wrong with having hopes or wants but, why keep it to yourself. I know I personally have plenty of things I'd love to ask for but then, where will I get all of my new socks from? Hehehe! What do you have on 'YOUR' list?

Late but still on time to have turkey before everyone else! That's how we roll! LOL! https://imagine-magazine.org/releases/volume-109/

Love it, we really should consider altering the featured artist sections of the magazine a little because I honestly have trouble getting everything else assembled as well as seeking out and researching facts about the artists we've always focused on. Too often, I feel like I have no idea what i'm going to do next. I started building a list of artists from this thread alone and it occurred to me that "Page Scrawler's Picks" could be the new title of it. Just sayin' I mean, I am kinda stealing your playlist And yes, Robert Levey was in issue 91 looking and sounding a little younger:

I want to post a final update to thank everyone for their kindness and for being a bit of a lifeline for someone who meant an awful lot to someone who meant an awful lot to us all. I miss Comicality worse than I ever could have expected and after decades of him always being out there and being Comicality, I don't think I could have ever anticipated how to handle saying goodbye to him; it still feels like that next post or email could come from him tomorrow, which is still hard to accept. Helping his mother at this time both gave me the opportunity to get to know someone in his life that he kind of sheltered from his online community and persona, for reasons that only he could explain, as well as show her how loved his son really was by so many. With each dispersement from this campaign, I got to witness first hand just how floored she was at how many people were affected positively by her son. But with the most recent dispersement, she feels that more would be too much. This is the text I received: "Hi Jeffrey, A quick note to let you know that I received the check yesterday. Thank all of you for your kindness. You guys have done more than enough, if any other funds come in, please give it to one of the other members of your writers’ guild. Since there is so much bad weather happening, I am sure some of the other members can use a helping hand. This would make me happy. I look forward to hearing from at your convenience. Take care and be safe, and again, thank you very much." So today I am disabling the campaigns ability to receive donations. For Comicality I want to thank each and every one of you for for making this positive impact in the life of the person who meant so much to him and for standing united with me as a "Shacker" which would have made him so proud. For him, I'll attempt to relay a hug and a thank you to each, and of course, one final "Seezya."

Oh yeah, Oscar was one of his favs ♥️

A really quick update before going to bed. I just authorized my bank to cut and mail a check in the total of $750 to Comsie's Mom. I was able to leave her a voice mail to let her know to keep an eye on the mail as it's scheduled to arrive on October 31 The overall total from us all at this point is $4,015 which I know has absolutely floored her and covered nearly half of what needed to be paid out as final expenses. That just absolutely amazes me! If I could go door to door to thank each and every person, I would without a second thought. But, you know, work and all that stuff ::HUGZ::

I know that many people may opt out of answering this one because as we have seen with anything the Shack has done and done well, it would be rocking the boat. I don't blame those who don't answer this one but quite often, Comicality and now even I am pressed to sum up in a couple words what IMAGINE Magazine actually is. This time it was after being asked to take over the https://www.boywiki.org/en/Imagine_Magazine entry to get it caught up after Comsie's passing and to make it more accurate. That was when I saw that we are listed there as a resource for the boy love community even though we are so much more. Now to be clear, if I had to pick only one thing I want anyone to take away from this answer it should be that IMAGINE Magazine is anything but serious. Sure, we are serious about community, we are serious about how much we care about our friends, and we have all always been serious about supporting anyone who felt left out, alone, outcast, or even just hated who they are because of what others may say about them. That describes most people who have ever found shelter within The Shack Outback. Anyone who considers themselves a "Shacker" has either come from a bad situation or is in one. It is a community of outcasts founded by another outcast, and currently under the management of (you guessed it) even more outcasts. And we own that. That should be the answer, right? No, hardly. When I respond with "We are kind of a hybrid" I am pressed to slam IM into the square hole it doesn't quite fit into. Bringing us back to the multi-cultural community that set the tone for IMAGINE Magazine to be created in as nothing more than an inside joke. So to understand the Magazine, you need to understand the community. Comprised of mainly even more misfits and outcasts, we were all over the LGBTQ+ spectrum. All races, all religions, all ages... If you felt like you couldn't express yourself freely in your daily life, The Shack welcomed you with open arms. The only thing that would not be tolerated from it's members is being abusive to others. Which of course would be harshly criticized over the years, targeted often, and rarely be appreciated by outsiders. But as for who made up the populace of The Shack over the years, Gay men who hid who they were gay until they got old enough to feel cheated, young adults who were struggling with coming out and wanted a place to be themselves and to be loved for it, teens who saw the desires in the older members' stories that clearly showed a life that they wanted to make a reality somehow. Gay, straight, bi, trans... no one cared. It was the place where to fit in, you had to not be able to fit in. Even that wasn't perfect though as some would try to create barriers to classify sub groups in the community, often looking down on some. That was and looks like it will always be the case everywhere, not just online. Which is unfortunate. Even longer story short though, are we a gay/lesbian/trans/alt publication? Yes. Are we a coming of age publication? Yes. Are we focused on the talents and success of our younger members? Yup! We often live vicariously through many of them as well. Are we in support of the whole boy love community? To a certain degree yes, which also carries a stigma all of it's own. Do we condone the ideals of the whole boylove movement, the love part of it, yes. The abuse that follows acting on it? No. There's a difference between attraction/admiration and arguing that the general public should stop protecting their children. Some of us learned that lesson the absolute hardest way, but we did learn it. I mean. let's be realistic; for every person that would absolutely never harm a child to satisfy an attraction, there are just as many that would be entitled to hurt and take to get what they desire. So we can't in good conscience consider ourselves a boylove publication even though we do agree with the love part of that label. For many, the attraction is youth. Youth is lost when maturity is rushed and lives become complicated and confusing. Many of us experienced that as well and carry the damage done as adults. So to sum up: As one of the misfits from a 2+ decade old community that ended out steering a part of this oversized ship we call a magazine, I say we are still the inside joke for a community that took decades to be able to see sunlight through the smog that obscured us in the form of prejudice and persecution. IMAGINE is the ability to see beauty in everyone, admire talent in everyone, accept all for who they are right now, and be the support of a friend that any given one of us needs; while hopefully bringing the smile of a friend at the same time. We are IMAGINE and we intend to be that for those in our community who struggle to imagine on their own. Still need a category? Fine. "Human Interest"

Every once in a while I'll get hit with a question that to be honest, I need to think about before answering. To be honest, I don't think I've ever come up with the right answer to it either. "What is IMAGINE Magazine? What category does it fit into?" Because of course, we need to put labels all over everything and make it fit neatly into a category, right? ::groan:: That's our culture today. What are we? What is our demographic? Are we for gay people? Yes but not exclusively; I don't think. Are we here for gay teens? In part yeah, of course. Are we for the Boy Lover community? A part of us fits there too even if we don't push the ideals. But we do acknowledge it and in some ways can even relate to it. Gay, Trans, Bi, Agender, Cisgender, Pan, Poly... Why should there be a limit on who fits and who doesn't? When Comicality threw himself into his community, it was warts and all. And trust me he took some fairly harsh criticism for it at times. In the end, he wanted something that was all inclusive and would speak to the brunt of the Shack community on the topics that were the most focused on by it's members. Not all members were in 100% agreement but, what family agrees on everything anyway, seriously. So our question this month is this: "What Are We?" in your opinion? The next time I'm asked that question, I'd like to be able to answer for "all" of us if I can

Boo!!! I scared ya, right? No, okay how bout this, I just posted the Halloween issue of IMAGINE! There, now I can see the fear in your eyes! LOL! https://imagine-magazine.org/releases/volume-108/

There of course is no definitive answer to your question but, I can tell you from having worked so closely with him for years right up to his passing, he didn't see it coming. That's so often the case with many of us as well. "There's always tomorrow" is always running in the back of all of our minds because unless you are told straight out that you are going to die, our brain rarely consider's that tomorrow could be the day. In a way I think that's fairly healthy. I mean, how would you live today if you are thinking, tomorrow isn't coming? Sure some people put solid plans into how their legacy is to be handled. They put time and effort into making sure their wishes will be handled once they are gone, and I can respect that. Others, live for today, get done what they can today, and the plan to do the same thing tomorrow. That's kind of satisfying each and every day knowing that you put in 100% of what you love into that one day and it's your plan to do it again tomorrow. Comsie very much lived in the moment, even right up to the end. And even though the frequency of his down days had increased, he never talked about his illness taking him and I think it's because he didn't actually seriously consider it. I spent a lot of time emailing, texting, and sitting on the phone with him and I can tell you, even I knew his illness may be worse than he was leading everyone to believe but never put much though into it taking him. He was still so full of life and even though he sounded a little more tired and a little older than I was used to, he always bounced back. I think we all take that for granted and I honestly think he was no exception. So he didn't pass on his plan, he didn't hand the torch over to anyone per se, but he left us with so many amazing memories and a huge pile of his words to keep us company and remind us of our good fortune to have had the opportunity to have such an amazing person touch our lives. An exaggeration? That's for each one of us to decide. I personally miss him so much. Every month when I need to take the lead in one of his projects, it both makes me grateful that he allowed me in to be able to do what I'm doing now but, it also reminds me that his presence is missed horribly because half of my enjoyment with the magazine was being able to work directly with him. Tonight I'm going to be launching his favorite issue of every year... Halloween. I had to have someone else do the cover because I just can't yet. Every year we collaborated on the Halloween cover and had so much fun doing it. One year I let someone else do one and I was lost which is why I decided to do the "Nightmare Before Christmas" cover in addition to Halloween to reclaim my one-on-one Comsie cover time. I had no clue it would be the very last one he would ever see. Kind of happy we got one last Halloween'ish' issue together. So, what I was saying before I got hung up in my own head, he didn't "finish" GFD because to him, it was going to go on forever. He didn't tell anyone his intended ending because maybe even he never wanted it to end. Those of us who loved his writing can always re-read and imagine where it would have gone next. Others could also be upset that there is no closure. Unfortunately, that's how life works. Even I was expecting him to come home and get right back up on the horse like he always did. How many of us can say that they put the work into finishing every single project we ever put our hands on? Spent time preparing for our own end? Will sacrifice our happiness today for what could possibly happen tomorrow. He did what he loved and allowed us along for the ride. For as long as he was able, he did what he loved for those who loved it and made every one of us feel welcome along for the ride. That was a life worth living and one I feel so fortunate to have had become a part of mine. Longer answer than I planned but, one that was probably going to land somewhere because so many have brought up the loss of the closure with his stories when to me, I lost a brother. An amazing friend. Someone I idolized for so long and treasured as extended family... I'd give up the endings to the stories that he did complete just to have him text or call again, without hesitation. ...and now, I have to launch a new issue. I'll post when it's ready. ::HUGZ::

Mmmmm… very strong and silky smooth voice. Once I’m done moving one of our friends cross country, will need to look into possibly finding a way to feature his voice in IM. Would need to do some reading up on what else he’s been up to. We have a really decent amount of traffic so it could help to nudge the algorithm in his favor Thanks for the flag @Page Scrawler! Beautiful song to start the day.