Lupus
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What did he feel? Confusion, irritation - perhaps Josel doesn't know himself either. It's true. From Marta's point of view, it makes sense to be alert in this situation. Thank you for your comment!
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Glad to hear you liked it😊 I think the story gets better as it goes on. But now, even at the end of the first book, we are almost at the beginning of the story. This book still has two chapters and an epilogue left.
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@akascrubber Thank you for your comment. This chapter ended with some exciting events. In the next chapter, however, we return to the Pale Wanderer Inn to meet Franz.
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Josel The cellar door clicked open. Josel's eyes, used to darkness, were blinded by the light. "What the fuck!" Lurk shouted, his voice squeaking with emotion. "The little rat has escaped! Toma!" Josel heard Fake Marta screeching in the distance. Lurk was on them quickly. The hunchback swung his cane wildly as Josel did his best to defend himself and dodge the blows. The cane struck painfully at least in the shoulder, side and back. Zdain was even clumsier at dodging and soon
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@Seraph28 @Al Norris Thank you for your comments. The last sentence hints at something - good or bad, we'll find out in the next chapter 🫣
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Josel A nudge to his side forced Josel to wake-up. "What?" Josel grunted and turned to look at Zdain, though the darkness made it difficult to see him. "The goblin! It's alive," the boy said in a hoarse voice, coughing. Despite fatigue, thirst and hunger, a glimmer of excitement made Josel's heart race. At the same moment, a small moan came from behind the bars. Josel crawled forward towards the sound. The creature moaned again, and from the darkness he could make out the goblin's
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Franz still has a lot to learn about the world and life in general. At least he has found the adventure he was looking for. Jolanda doesn't seem to be very good girlfriend material for Josel😬 We'll see what happens with her. Let's not mourn yet, there's still hope. We return to the cellar in the next chapter.
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I think Franz feels the same way 😄
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"You Dimalis claim that the slave trade is a criminal activity. We Southerners call it a force that holds the states together. Who else would harvest the crops from our sunny fields? Who would lay the cobblestones in place, clean the fish catches and toil in the mine tunnels? Or entertain the aristocrats in the brothels? We free citizens? Do not even imagine such a thing. Saadda, Qoi-Tenqee and Mtuul would fall without slaves. You, in turn, would be deprived of our trade goods: dates,
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@drsawzall @VBlew @akascrubber Thank you all so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I'm certainly not going to overdo the violence. If anything good comes out of this brutality, at least it has brought the boys closer together. Even in the midst of misery, there is often hope: for example, the fact that Zdain realised something revolutionary about himself at the end of the chapter. More will be revealed in due course about who Fake Marta is. Let's also hope that the boys figure out how to escape. You gave some good suggestions on how that might happen. We'll see what happens😉 In the next chapter, however, there are two other narrators: Jolanda and Franz.
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@Seraph28 Thanks for your feedback. This story is indeed quite violent at times and takes on even darker tones as it progresses. I don't like it when the (good) characters suffer, but sometimes the plot demands it. Usually, though, there is hope for something better😌
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Zdain When Josel finally woke up, Zdain was a nervous wreck. Several rats had slipped through the bars and into the cage, and the bravest had even climbed over their feet. He had to fight to keep from screaming. Josel lifted his head from Zdain's shoulder and straightened his back. They quickly pulled away from each other, pretending as if by mutual agreement that they had never been in each other's arms. "Oh, you're awake?" Zdain asked, rubbing his arm, numb from leaning on Jose
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Key people and glossary (The Shadowy Path)
Lupus commented on Lupus's story chapter in Key people and glossary (The Shadowy Path)
Thank you. I thought such a glossary might be useful, as there are so many terms and characters in fantasy stories like this. -
The world map:
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Key people and glossary (The Shadowy Path)
Lupus posted new chapter in The World of the Legend of the Red Star
Key People Andiol Empire In the town of Paidos: Josel Sandkan ("Goldy", "Josi"): 16-year-old boy from Paidos Andreuz Sandkan: Josel's father, an author Curtus Jerovann: old man, Josel's father's assistant Franz Landez: Josel's friend, 17 years old, son of a grocer Bartos Rigailon ("Bars"): Josel's friend, 16 years, son of a senior official Darren Temjanion: Josel's friend, 16 years Jolanda: a young woman in Paidos Dareis Monteilon: the imperial governor -
Here I have compiled background information about the world of my book series 'The Legend of the Red Star', including characters and a glossary. Before diving into this material, you should first read the opening book, 'The Shadowy Path'.
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Thank you all for your comments 😊 There are more surprising twists and turns to come in the story - for the boys and for the readers. In the next chapter, we return to Marta's basement to see how Josel and Zdain are doing.
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@Al Norris Nice to know someone has found the map 👍In the first version, I had translated the name of the town as 'Five Rocks', but then changed it to 'Five Hills' because I liked it better🙂 So it is the same place. If you have saved the older version, here is a link to the new version, which I updated in the gallery a while ago. There are also a couple of other minor corrections compared to the earlier version.
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Bartos "Get up!" the lipless monster ordered, but Bartos' jelly-like legs refused to obey. "Get up, Bartos Rigailon," the man demanded more softly, but just as forcefully. Bartos felt his forehead stung, as if something cold had slapped him hard across the face. He was in pain and his legs could barely support him, but he managed to push himself up off the floor. The scarface had made it clear that he could not disobey him. "Good," the stranger said after seeing Bartos do his wi
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@akascrubber @drsawzall @Al Norris Thank you all for your insightful comments! The boys really should have kept their voices down. However, we have to remember that they are only 16 years old and have no experience of such situations. Perhaps the current situation will finally be shocking enough for them to realize that they need to stop fighting amongst themselves - we shall see. What Marta wants will become clear in time. Unfortunately, I cannot yet reveal more🤐 In the next chapter, however, we'll see how Bartos and Darren try to deal with an intruder in the house.
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@Myr Thank you for your advice. These tips will help me a lot😊
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I am about to publish a list of characters and a glossary of terms related to the world of my fantasy story. I was wondering how it would be most convenient to do that. Is the best way to publish a new story that would only have this one chapter? I'm thinking of using the Fantasy World Building genre, as I assume it's for this sort of thing? However, if I add this new story to the series, I guess it would become the 2nd book in the series. I don't want that, so should I either not include it in the series or create a "world"? Or not include this new "story" in anything? Then, of course, one possibility would be to add this glossary as a chapter to a story in progress (without using World Building genre).
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Zdain Ipalos, Andiol Empire The bathroom door slammed shut. Josel was...completely impossible. Sometimes the blond-haired one was as if he had swallowed a burdock - mean and ill-tempered. Occasionally - though quite rarely - the caring and friendly side of Josel would bubble up to the surface. Then there was this third Josel Sandkan, who tossed verbal barbs like sharp stone chips, and was a very funny young man in his own mind. The first Josel Zdain hated, the second he admitted he l
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@Seraph28 Thank you for your comment! This book is named The Shadow Path for a reason - danger lurks around every corner. We'll see what happens. More to come next week 🙂
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@akascrubber @drsawzall Thank you for your comments. We will know a little more about the fate of the boys after the next chapter, as Zdain takes over the role of narrator.
