John, again I say that those who have a problem with the more effeminate (stereotypically) gay men have some issues with internalized homophobia. They are actual people with actual feelings, and they can't really help it. I'm not trying to beat you up or anything, but people are people, and they should be treated accordingly. Who knows? An effeminate gay man might even become your best friend one day or maybe something more. They need lovin' too you know.
Wynter, as far as what your friend did, that was not nice. Drinks are not gay. They are drinks. Supposedly mixed drinks are supposed to be for women and gay men, but screw that. People drink what they like to drink. I've seen women (and no not lesbians) who can drink beer like it's water and men who enjoy a good bottle of wine (some presumably straight). I find it irritating too. I think a lot of people here will share your sentiments.