Mark Arbour

Again, Robbie is not handling a crisis situation well, which is very normal for him. And no one is communicating at all, which is very normal for this crowd.

I think Robbie is very true to character in this chapter. He has a lot of qualities, but he's not real good in a crisis.

No matter what happens, Gathan needs to come to some sort of conclusion with Kristin. This would be an open wound for him.

I can see Stef doing that, but Wade will be more diversified.

Thanks! I love hockey. Can you tell? :-) You'll get to hear about Wade's plans in the next chapter.

October 6, 2000 Burbank, CA Wade We were about to walk into our locker room when my phone rang. It was Sean; I could tell from the ring tone. I’d programmed Sammy Hagar’s ‘Red’ in for him. Matt heard it and shook his head with a smile. “Sean?” “Yeah,” I said, chuckling. “I’ll catch up with you.” He nodded and I walked off to the side and answered. “They move fast,” Sean told me as soon as we exchanged greetings. “They?” “Well, your mother,” he said,

And it was a good one.

Wow. You've been there, and done this. I think that all kids are different. Some are happy, or willing, to fall into the mold and do what they're supposed to do. That can be a good thing. But those that march to their own drummer require a little more work, and a lot more patience. They're usually the ones that end up inventing things like the computer I'm typing on.

I can see Robbie sticking up for their trip, and you're probably right about that, but just blowing Will off when he came home was so wrong, I think that sort of took all the wind out of his sails. Will's good at hitting him with smoking guns.

Will is being unreasonable? Duh. Still, I think some of his points are valid.

I think that with this family, things have to get worse before they get better.

I love this. You described a teenager perfectly. They're maddening. And they were like this when you were young, you and I are just so old we've forgotten. :-)

Yeah, well I'll get some crap for that.

Thanks. I think that the issue with Kristin and Gathan was a loose end I needed to address. That's not the kind of thing you can just let sit there, unresolved.

Fathers and sons sometimes drift apart. That doesn't mean they don't drift back together.

I read this part and smiled, because that's exactly what this is. I've tried to bring a lot of that into the story, and bring it in from multiple age ranges. 1. We have that initial, glowing reaction to fatherhood, as experienced through Wade. 2. We have Wade's relationship with his own father, who he is rebuilding a bond with. 3. And we have Will's relationship with Brad. Of the three, Will's relationship with Brad is going to be the most contentious, because he's a teenager, and that's when father-son relationships generally endure the biggest trials. You have two very strong-willed people, both with conflicting goals and responsibilities. Will is trying to be independent, he's trying to be 25 years old, which is absolutely normal for kids that age. That he doesn't have that capability won't really come into his mind, He'll see things through his own extreme biases, and he'll live his life based on what happened today. He'll be tough to reason with, and he'll be a pain in the ass to handle, until he finally goes through enough of a crucible, and matures enough, to settle down. These are not fun times. If you have never dealt with one of these individuals, they probably seem maddening to you. Why don't they listen? How can they be so irrational? He's being very unfair to Brad and/or Robbie. Yep. He is. But, he also has some points to make. One of the big issues is attention, and he's frustrated right now because he feels very alone and isolated. That's a classic teenage emotion. The classic old-school solution to this is to lay down the law, and make the teen behave. That's what happens when it becomes a power struggle. That's when it gets ugly. Much of what I've covered here, and will cover, is a much-dramatized reiteration of the conflicts I've had with my own son. How do you raise an extremely bright guy, who won't do what you want him to do, even when it's clearly in his own best interest? Do you abdicate responsibility and let him make his own decisions? (You may end up with pole-dancing). Do you try and reason things out with him? They aren't always (usually) real communicative. If I've done one thing in error, it's to have Will talk about his issues so much. Or do you just lay down the law, and say it's my way or the highway? Then you spark massive rebellion. You always will. Some kids internalize it, some externalize it, and some do both. It's real easy to talk about finding a compromise solution, and maintaining a nice balance, but that's just talk. Actually finding that, well, that's the real challenge.

The pool's been there for a very long time. Since Man In Motion. Guess it must be one of the few places. We'll assume that Will has very good eyesight. You just don't want Gathan having heterosex.

Very well put.

Good observations, and good questions. And a lot of chapters before you get solid answers. I'm thinking at least 6, to be exact. :-)

October 6, 2000 El Segundo, CA Will We hung out at the rink for quite a while. Ryan and I wandered off on our own, just checking out the people who were there and being stupid. We came back to our seats and saw Dad and Robbie in deep conversation, so we left them alone for a while longer. They finally tracked us down. “We need to go check on JJ before we leave,” Dad said to Ryan and me. He was being really nice now; part of that was because I’d probably blistered hi

Happy Birthday.

I have to wonder at the concept of calling a parent by their first name as being disrespectful. That just chafes as being monumentally judgmental. I think this is really a personal, family choice, and whatever works for that given unit, that should be just fine with the rest of the world. .

Thanks for your comments. One wonders if a teenager's patience can survive Wade's sound advice.

If you buy Michael Jackson's house, does it come with a Justin Bieber doppelganger?

I think Brad struggles with Will's ability to handle situations. On the one hand, he often makes good choices, but on the other hand, as Blue pointed out, he sometimes makes bad ones. I would say this is a characteristic of teenagers, but in fact, it is much broader than that. I'm sure we all could share some stories about the stupid decisions we've made, even as adults. There is an inherent part of fatherhood that demands that you watch out for your kids. It's very strong in Brad, and in this case, it isn't always a positive attribute.