Mark Arbour

I can see Robbie sticking up for their trip, and you're probably right about that, but just blowing Will off when he came home was so wrong, I think that sort of took all the wind out of his sails. Will's good at hitting him with smoking guns.

Will is being unreasonable? Duh. Still, I think some of his points are valid.

I think that with this family, things have to get worse before they get better.

I love this. You described a teenager perfectly. They're maddening. And they were like this when you were young, you and I are just so old we've forgotten. :-)

Yeah, well I'll get some crap for that.

Thanks. I think that the issue with Kristin and Gathan was a loose end I needed to address. That's not the kind of thing you can just let sit there, unresolved.

Fathers and sons sometimes drift apart. That doesn't mean they don't drift back together.

I read this part and smiled, because that's exactly what this is. I've tried to bring a lot of that into the story, and bring it in from multiple age ranges. 1. We have that initial, glowing reaction to fatherhood, as experienced through Wade. 2. We have Wade's relationship with his own father, who he is rebuilding a bond with. 3. And we have Will's relationship with Brad. Of the three, Will's relationship with Brad is going to be the most contentious, because he's a teenager, and that's when father-son relationships generally endure the biggest trials. You have two very strong-willed people, both with conflicting goals and responsibilities. Will is trying to be independent, he's trying to be 25 years old, which is absolutely normal for kids that age. That he doesn't have that capability won't really come into his mind, He'll see things through his own extreme biases, and he'll live his life based on what happened today. He'll be tough to reason with, and he'll be a pain in the ass to handle, until he finally goes through enough of a crucible, and matures enough, to settle down. These are not fun times. If you have never dealt with one of these individuals, they probably seem maddening to you. Why don't they listen? How can they be so irrational? He's being very unfair to Brad and/or Robbie. Yep. He is. But, he also has some points to make. One of the big issues is attention, and he's frustrated right now because he feels very alone and isolated. That's a classic teenage emotion. The classic old-school solution to this is to lay down the law, and make the teen behave. That's what happens when it becomes a power struggle. That's when it gets ugly. Much of what I've covered here, and will cover, is a much-dramatized reiteration of the conflicts I've had with my own son. How do you raise an extremely bright guy, who won't do what you want him to do, even when it's clearly in his own best interest? Do you abdicate responsibility and let him make his own decisions? (You may end up with pole-dancing). Do you try and reason things out with him? They aren't always (usually) real communicative. If I've done one thing in error, it's to have Will talk about his issues so much. Or do you just lay down the law, and say it's my way or the highway? Then you spark massive rebellion. You always will. Some kids internalize it, some externalize it, and some do both. It's real easy to talk about finding a compromise solution, and maintaining a nice balance, but that's just talk. Actually finding that, well, that's the real challenge.

The pool's been there for a very long time. Since Man In Motion. Guess it must be one of the few places. We'll assume that Will has very good eyesight. You just don't want Gathan having heterosex.

Very well put.

Good observations, and good questions. And a lot of chapters before you get solid answers. I'm thinking at least 6, to be exact. :-)

October 6, 2000 El Segundo, CA Will We hung out at the rink for quite a while. Ryan and I wandered off on our own, just checking out the people who were there and being stupid. We came back to our seats and saw Dad and Robbie in deep conversation, so we left them alone for a while longer. They finally tracked us down. “We need to go check on JJ before we leave,” Dad said to Ryan and me. He was being really nice now; part of that was because I’d probably blistered hi

Happy Birthday.

I have to wonder at the concept of calling a parent by their first name as being disrespectful. That just chafes as being monumentally judgmental. I think this is really a personal, family choice, and whatever works for that given unit, that should be just fine with the rest of the world. .

Thanks for your comments. One wonders if a teenager's patience can survive Wade's sound advice.

If you buy Michael Jackson's house, does it come with a Justin Bieber doppelganger?

I think Brad struggles with Will's ability to handle situations. On the one hand, he often makes good choices, but on the other hand, as Blue pointed out, he sometimes makes bad ones. I would say this is a characteristic of teenagers, but in fact, it is much broader than that. I'm sure we all could share some stories about the stupid decisions we've made, even as adults. There is an inherent part of fatherhood that demands that you watch out for your kids. It's very strong in Brad, and in this case, it isn't always a positive attribute.

Wade is our resident sage; the question is will Will listen to him.

That's really well put. I think that Brad is doing what he thinks he has to do for Will's own good, and sees Will as a rebellious subject, much as Louis XIV would have viewed someone who dared to defy him. Brad's problem here is that he sees this as a power struggle, one he has to win if he's going to mold Will into a 'upstanding' young man and to keep him safe. He's ignoring the deeper issue, the emotional aspect, where Will is basically screaming for his attention. When teenagers want attention, they will find ways to get it, and not many of those methods are pleasant. For those of you who are so inclined, when you go back and re-read some of the chapters in BeRad or other stories, you'll see how even JP grappled in his attempt to cope with these upstart, intelligent kids of his. Brad doesn't have nearly as much patience as JP does, and he's a lot more stubborn.

I think Tim described it best when he talked about the panic that can ensue in a situation like that. In the next chapter, we get to see more of Brad's mind-set. And remember that Brad didn't stage that public confrontation, Will did, and he did it because he didn't feel like anyone would listen to him if he didn't structure it as a public admonition.

Mark is more like Brad, and his son is more like Will. I've been down this road.

One of the frustrations with writing a 14 year old character is that as big of a pain in the ass as they are in real life, if I make it real, so they'll be a pain in the ass in the story. I hope you think that trade-off is worth it.

Thanks. I have a lot of personal experience with this kind of angst and rage. Makes it easy.

I think that's right; I think Will's gotten to that wounded state by letting this fester, and by the reaction he's gotten. I agree with you that Ryan's comment (and Will's follow-up) should have impacted Brad, but by now he's feeling like he's under attack, and with Brad, that means his defenses are up and he's stubborn as a mule.

Really great observations. As for Will not liking Michael, I think we have to assume that he's made his feelings known. And another astute observation. I'm not sure that Jeanine's departure has had as pronounced and effect on Will, but it's hard to say. I do think Brad and Robbie didn't realize how important THEY were to him on a daily basis, and how much those small contacts meant.