Trebs

Ech - well, one of my blood numbers was a bit low so they didn't want to admit me and start the next round of chemo yet. So - I'm on hold until Thursday, but should be starting the B round on Thursday morning. I as all packed and ready - one of the nurses in my doctor's office said "Its like a false labor in pregnancy, you're all ready, but have to wait a bit more".

Dan and I went to Stanford on Friday and came out of it with a TON of information and things that we now have to consider and start planning for. The thumbnail sketch of my next year is basically: Finish chemo. I actually start my next round in the hospital tomorrow and it should last 4 days, 5 at the most so will be home on Friday. Then continuing on a schedule of two weeks home, one week in. Dr Spears thinks that I'll only need to do 3 cycles in total, so that would end sometime in late February. At this point, the lymphoma should be in complete remission. During this time, we're also going to take a trip to Washington DC for the Inauguration - at this point planning on being in DC from Jan 15 thru Jan 22 (so if anyone else is in the area, we could meet up for lunch maybe, say on Saturday Jan 17). Probably a month after the chemo ends, but no later than two months (so late March through late April), they would start the process for the bone marrow transplant. The purpose of the transplant is conceptually to "seal" me into remission - make it very unlikely for me to have a relapse. We're hoping to be able to do it via donor - my brother and sister are going to be tested to see if they match, but if not, there is an international bone marrow donor registry they will start checking me against. There is a program to use my own bone marrow cells but by using a donor's cells, I gain their immune system basically and it makes it even more likely for me to be able to stay in remission a very long time. So whichever sibling matches, would come out for about a week while they prepare them then get the cells they need. At that point, I would then be checked into Stanford for a week to receive the transplant but the key planning item is after that week, Dan and I need to live near Stanford (within their "safe zone") for 90 days. During the 90 days, I'll be in and out of their clinics a lot, plus if I have any type of rejection issues from the donation, they need me to immediately come in and be treated. My caregiver (Dan) needs to be with me 24/7 (except when I'm in the clinic - that gives him time to go grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, or just relax and decompress for a bit). And we can have a backup caregiver - Dan's ex Manuel and Manuel's boyfriend Randy live in San Jose and we've already talked about times where Randy stays with me, while Dan and Manuel go to a movie or something. Thankfully, Dan can pretty much continue his business from Stanford - a lot of it is on the computer and he's been hiring his sister since last March to help him - she knows a lot about the process now. So Dan could do the technical part, create the walk lists or flyers in PDF form, then send them to April here in Sacramento who prints them (or produces any other materials) and sends them to the client. There may be times where Dan needs to get back to Sacramento for a day or two - during crunch time of the campaigns, but again, Manuel and/or Randy (or someone else) could cover for Dan while he does this. So with Dan's normal income and my disability checks, financially we should do ok - even with the higher expenses (the one-bedroom apartments next to Stanford that they have available are $75/day so $2250/month - but my insurance may help cover part of that since it is necessary for my transplant). Oh, and then once the 90 days are over, we can go home, but I need to focus on health and maintenance for a while, so they advise me to NOT go back to work for 5 more months once I get home. Plus - during those 5 months, I'll occasionally be going back to Stanford (at first, once a week), as well as seeing my local doctors. One BIG factor we haven't figured out is our current home, and especially our two dogs, especially for the 90 days when we're not here at all, but also possibly in the lead up to it. We have some ideas of how to handle this, but not positive yet - though then again, we JUST found out about what the transplant entails two days ago... Fun, eh?

Heading to airport - feeling GREAT... Remember - VOTE today, especially if you (or you know ANYONE) who lives in California - VOTE NO on 8!!!

Here is a picture I just took of Dan in the front yard - we put up the Obama/Biden sign up last Wed and just got the "No on 8" sign this morning and put it up. Also - just got back from my weekly check-up with Dr. Spears - again, very happy with my blood numbers and progress. My white blood count is actually LOW right now (this is the one that was originally close to 400 where normal is a range of 4.1-10.9). During last week's treatments, it went under 100 and was happy with last Monday's number of 11. Last Thursday, it was 7.1 which is PERFECT tho today it's down to 2.3. Not dangerous, but warning range - so they gave me a small face mask and advised me to use hand-sanitizer, avoid fresh fruits and vegatables - ie, just be careful about getting an infection. Not it's not so bad that he wants me to cancel going to LA tomorrow, just to be careful and aware.

I got out of the hospital late Monday night (Oct 27) - as Dan puts it, my last chemo treatment ended about 10:25PM and at 10:28PM. I was on the phone calling Dan to pick me up (I had been packed for 3 hours at that point). Tuesday was ok (still recovering and tired), but from Wed morning til now, I have been feeling great. I still get tired and can't just go, go, go - but have been accomplishing things around the house and just overall... um... feel great (have I said that before)! Two days ago, had a follow-up with Dr Spears and he was thrilled with my progress. So far, I still haven't had any nausea, and everyone thinks I'm looking very well (though very thin - it's weird, I'm for the first time in 20 years wanting to GAIN weight). I asked him if it was ok with him if I volunteered in my office and went to the victory party next Tuesday and he was fully supportive of it - since I'm on disability leave, I needed a note from him that I could go in. So - where as I thought I would NOT be able to be in the thick of things, at this point - it's ON. Now, I've told a few people so I can catch up with them, but also said, if I wake up Tuesday morning and don't feel well (nausea can hit about 8-10 days after a round of chemo and of course, Tuesday is day 8) - well, if I have any doubts, I'll stay home. But I think its 90% likely that I'll be in the office! Woot!!! Been cleaning up the house, nothing stressful, just minor dishes, laundry, and the main task - lol - cleaning my desk. Dan and I went out shopping today - Mervyn's is closing and so all stores are doing liquidation sales. Got two pairs of normally $32 short pants for $8 each and a few other things. Then headed over to CostCo - well, that was almost too much, but made it through it (and immediately lay down once I got back home). Nice thing is, pretty much getting used to how to manage my energy - just every couple hours, lay down for a 10 minutes and rest - not even needing to nap, just shut down for a little bit, close eyes and relax. I have one more follow-up with Dr Spears on Monday morning, then this Friday, Dan and I go to Stanford on Friday to do the consultation meeting with their Bone Marrow transplant team. That should be over around 3PM, so we decided to get a hotel room in San Francisco that night and just relax. We'll meet up with Manuel (and his new boyfriend). Then Saturday, on the way back, we'll stop at my mom's and visit. Then the following Monday, Oct 10 - I head back into the hospital for the next chemo round but this should just be a 4-5 day stay. BTW - did I mention I feel great? WOOOOOOTTTTT!!!

*thwap*

Um - I think the whole point of the boyfriend post is that he is GETTING RID of the old one - the one that doesn't like Dom cheating with "books". Dom - SO FANTASTIC to have you back... and take your time in writing or not writing - just knowing that you are around is enough for now. <HUG>

Thank you both for your comments and thoughts. One minor word of warning Mike - my first bone marrow biopsy report didn't come back for 8 days - and even then, they did two amendments afterwards as they did more pathology on it. I'm not trying to scare you, more just reassure you that if you don't hear for a bit, it's more than normal. One more quick update - on the 2nd (of 6) doses on Cytoxan - 3 hour drips every 12 hours so last one of Cytoxan will be Friday morning. Then I'll have 3 days (Fri - Sun) of Doxorubicin and then Monday morning, Vincristine which - ick - will be done as a lumbar punch (it needs to be put into the spinal fluid). Once that's done, I'll check out on Monday (later than I thought - I had hoped for Friday but no big). Part of it is where he could double-up on some of the meds, he doesn't want to this first time to make sure if I have a reaction, he'll know exactly what drug it is that's causing the reaction. And though I'll be here longer, it's also good because they're constantly keeping an eye on me and watching for any negative reactions.

Hospital stay so far has been a mixed bag. Monday was pretty much a wasted day. I got here at 10AM, and other than small things like changing the dressing on my PICC line and drawing blood for testing, nothing happened until I started on Rituxan at 6PM. As with the last two time, a little over an hour in, I started getting chills/rigor. At least this time, it was much milder - still scary at the time, still chattered teeth a bit but was handled a lot faster and I had more control over my body, not jerking around uncontrollably as I did previous times, just trying to get warmer. After a bit, they restarted the Rituxan as I had normalized my temp, but then around 9PM, when they standardly checked my blood pressure, it was really low at 88/46 so they stopped the Rituxan. I got my ambien for the night and fell asleep at 10PM - kinda wimpering into my pillow as I still had body aches and light pains. I woke up about 1:30AM and felt FANTASTIC - no body ache, felt VERY rested and just - felt good. My mind was totally spinning around awake, so I sat up, turned on the news and just caught up on email and news. Heh - I tried to get a nap about 3:30AM, but after an hour of not falling asleep, just stayed up - I take enough cat naps during the day that I wasn't too concerned over the little (but good) sleep I got. Dr Spears came in around 9 and detailed out the day - they would restart the Rituxan, but just giving me the part I hadn't finished the night before - that started at noon and went until about 7PM. They then finally started on the second chemo drug, Cytoxan, which is another one that I had taken before. Cytoxan will be given to me every 12 hours for a total of 6 doses so three days total. So they started that at 10PM and finished at 1AM, and I'll get another Cytoxan this morning around 10. I had no reaction the first time I got Cytoxan back in early Sept, and again last night, no side effects - WOOT! Stanford also finally called yesterday and scheduled me - the first visit is just a consultation visit. I'll go at 11:30 on Friday, Nov 7 and first meet with a social worker for an hour who goes over the whole transplant concepts and stuff, then 1/2 hour break then meet my doctor and case manager at 1PM for between 1.5 to 2.5 hours. Dan and I are thinking we'll drive down in the morning, get a hotel room for that night after and visit with Manuel while we're down there. Plus - we will avoid San Jose traffic by coming back on Saturday morning (and probably stop by and visit with my mom for a bit on the trip back). The nice thing is, my next round of chemo starts the following Monday, Nov 10, so I should be totally over any effects of this round and up for travelling on the 7th - I was really happy when they had that date available for this consult. Now, I don't know when they'll actually pull my bone marrow, but I can wait until the 7th to find out. So - overall, things are good - but getting back to the blog title, also a bit surreal. With less than two weeks left, it feels SO weird watching tons of political news and commercials and not being in my office WORKING on it. I mean, I have helped in little ways here and there, answering emails and phone calls from my office. One thing that will be VERY weird - normally Chris who is also in our Sacramento office and I go down to the Los Angeles office for the last 4 days (Sat through Tues) to set up and do a legal watch program. We give out a toll-free number to volunteers and voters and have 10 phones with volunteers taking calls all day - a lot of them are just "where do I vote" so the volunteers look up polling places. But we also get the calls of "They have 6 machines but only one is working" which we pass to our team of lawyers who call it in to the County Registrars to try to quickly solve (and in many cases, the county does - with roving trucks with extra machines that dispatch to these troubled precincts). Bottom line - it is a very enriching experience for us - being able to help voters exercise their rights. But this year - I won't be there. Chris, the volunteers, the legal team will be there, but I'll be at home in Sacramento. Just... one more little sign that my life has changed. But overall, I'm getting through it - I know this is just a short-term distraction and all of the signs of the chemo putting the MCL into remission for a long time - the signs are all VERY good.

Dar - as always - I love ya... On another note - hospital just called - bed is ready so leaving in just a few minutes (need to finish coffee first - heh)

Tomorrow morn, I'll hear from the hospital on when they want me to come in. So - heh - one last day of freedom before four days of confinement I've been getting ready - since this chemo treatment will be more intense, hair loss is pretty much guaranteed. Everyone's been telling me to get my hair cut short in advance so when clumps go missing, it doesn't look as bad - so I did. Here is the new shorter haircut. They've also been telling me I should get a hat. Now, I've NEVER been a hat person - it's actually more memorable the few times that I have worn a hat. And I definately didn't wanna get a baseball type hat (not that I really wanted to get a hat at all - I was fine with concept of going around bald). But then it was pointed out to me by my sister that I'm used to having a very thick head of hair - and I'll really notice the cold. So, went out and after going up and down the mall, found a very cool hat I liked at J Crew. Here are two pics of me wearing it - one front view and one side view. I like it - if I lived in a colder area normally, I might even use it regularly, not just when I've lost my hair. In fact - bringing it to DC when Dan and I go in late January sounds like a good idea. So - mainly been spending the last few days getting last minute chores done - all the bills are caught up, I wrote out a few thank you cards to people who sent flowers and stuff to me in the hospital (heh though have many more cards I need to do) and just generally got things set up so I don't have to worry about anything this next upcoming week other than dealing with the treatments. Also was nice to work on the wedding invite list a bit - hoping to send out "save the date" cards by the end of November. Mood has been pretty good - one thing that's REALLY helped along those lines is that my appetite has been totally normal recently - actually been hungry and eating good size meals again. Last night, this was especially good as Dan made his FANTASTIC meatloaf - YUM! Oh - don't think I posted this info yet - I finally found out the story with Stanford. My insurance has approved me for going - this will basically be JUST for the bone marrow treatment (ie, they take out my bone marrow, cull off the good part, grow it and after all the chemo and potential radiation kills my bone marrow, put back in the good grown bone marrow). I thought the appointment to go down there would be soon - but acutally my doctor wants me to go through one round of HyperCVAD-R first, so Stanford will be mid-November (which is why they haven't called yet to schedule - but they will as it gets closer). So that clears up the confusion of when I'm going down there and why they hadn't called yet.

The insurance approved me for the referral to Stanford (where they'll do the bone marrow) - and Dr Spears talked to Stanford and has everything set except an actual appointment. Stanford is supposed to call me to schedule me - they haven't yet, but should call within a day or two (if I don't hear anything by tomorrow, I'll call Dr Spears' office and have them follow up again). My understanding is they'll pull out some marrow (or a lot - eek), and then process it to separate out good from bad, and then culture to grow the good. Then down the line, after the chemo and potential radiation have killed off all of my own bone marrow, they'll put the good bone marrow back in. As far as schedule, as long as Stanford schedules and extracts the bone marrow before my 2nd round of chemo (ie, no more than 6 weeks from now), he's comfortable with that.

Thank you Dion. I did break down a bit on Monday, but you're right - I know my attitude is going to play a big role in my recovery... So though its helpful and healthy to let go once in a while (and thankfully inside of Dan's big hugs), overall I need to try to focus on the positives - and there are many...

Today was a good day - first one since I got discharged last Wed. I've been really tired all of the time - it's been an effort to just get up and eat. Today I've done dishes, laundry and just generally been able to FUNCTION around the house - it feels great! Caught up on some bills and paperwork - including finally filling out my absentee ballot (Go Obama!) Yesterday I had back to back doctor appointments. First was Dr Swanson (the surgeon) - he took out the drain, staples and dressing over my incision. f**king scar is 13 inches long. But it is healing really well and Dr Swanson was very happy with my progress. He understands I'm going to be busy with all of my other medical needs so he said I didn't need any more followups - just drop him a line in a couple weeks to let him know how I'm doing. By the time I was done there, my appointment with Dr Spears (hematologist) was just 20 minutes away. Stopped for a jamba juice then up to Spears' office. All the running around, and I had left without taking a vicodin, by the time I got to the office I was hurting. Mentioned it to Dr Spears and he offers a pain shot of demerol - SWEET. So additional pathology has come back on the spleen and lymph node they took out. Turns out - I don't have CLL with a possible secondary of mantle cell lymphoma (MCL). I JUST have MCL - which can disguise itself to look like CLL. Now the good news is they made the diagnosis this quickly - sometimes it takes a while for them to figure out its MCL. The bad news is whereas CLL has great prognosis and relatively easy treatment, MCL is worse. The previous visit, he had narrowed down what treatment I'd have down to two choices. Now with diagnosis of pure MCL (which he confirmed by checking with two other doctors), he said the best therapy for me would be what's called "HyperCVAD". Unlike CLL's treatment of RCF (which can be done as outpatient), HyperCVAD will be as inpatient. He wants me to start next monday (he would have started this week, but wants to give my splenectomy recovery one more week). So, next monday morning, the hospital will call me to tell me when to come in (ie, when they'll have a bed free). I'll be in for 4-5 days (likely 4 but if complications, 5). Then home for a bit over 2 weeks and then back to the hospital again for another 4 days of treatment. The drugs with HyperCVAD are more intense than what I had with RCF - hair loss is pretty much guaranteed. This will go on for a while - probably through mid-March if I am lucky, or later like mid-June if need be. News depressed me for a bit yesterday - I had talked myself into thinking that I was done with the hospital. It does help to focus on the positives - they diagnosed it early, they're starting treatment early and I'm 44 - most studies are of patients 65+... Of the studies with under-65, the response rates to the treatment are EXTREMELY good. And I REALLY lucked out to get a doctor that I like a lot, who totally involves me in all discussions of what is going on, and who just... CARES. There are only about 1500 new cases of MCL a year in the US - joked with Dan, why couldn't I have those kind of odds when playing the lottery or slots... And its frankly scary... but still getting a ton of support and just the fact of feeling SO much better today helps my outlook on this all. It felt GREAT doing the dishes, washing sheets, opening the front blinds and airing out the house - just was such a nice day out today. And looking forward to tomorrow... and the day after... etc.

Just got home from the hospital - 15 days this time... But with my spleen successfully removed and clearer information on exactly what has been happening in my body and how we move forward to treat it, I feel both physically and mentally great. Still a bit exhausted tho - been a long day and it's not even 2PM yet... but as DK loves to say - afternoon just means naptime for Trebs...

Thank you all... :-) Going to sleep now - a little over 13 hrs and it begins - WOOT!

A lot has happened in the last couple weeks, but mainly haven't felt up to updating the blog. Right now - I'm doing good. But two weeks ago, I started having slight fevers and my spleen was getting more and more uncomfortable. At night, the only way I could comfortably get sleep was frequently by going out to the couch and sleeping in a sitting position (which thankfully I can do all the time on planes so wasn't a weird experience). When I lay flat, the weight of the spleen and size just was uncomfortable and after laying for about 1/2 hour on my back, it would start hurting. As to the fevers, Dan called my doctor and he prescribed an antibiotic that Dan was able to pick up for me. That did help a little, but by the time of my next regular doctors appointment (last Tues, Sep 23), I was still very warm, weak, had body aches and just generally felt like shit. The appointment though went fantastic - the doctor immediately said, we need to get that spleen out soon. The surgeon he referred me to the previous week had called me back and had said that the surgeon was out of town until Oct 7, but I could get a consult appointment for the 7th. My doctor (Dr. Spears) hadn't known that the surgeon was going to be out and we all agreed Oct 7 was too far away. He got on the phone first with the hospital, to get started me being re-admitted then called another surgeon (Dr. Swanson) he equally recommended. While we're all sitting there, he got a hold of the Dr Swanson and they consulted, Spears describing my whole situation. Dr Swanson agreed with the need for the spleenectomy and they both thought that early the following week would be best. This would give time for the hospital to pre-treat me, giving me more antibiotics, blood and treatment so that I would be as strong as possible going into the surgury. Well - surgury is scheduled - for tomorrow at noon. They'll start prepping me at 11AM. And me - well, physically, I'm feeling really good. The hydration, the blood and all of the other prep has made me stronger and my various blood stats a lot better than when I checked in last Tuesday. Today, I'm getting one last transfusion of platelets to help boost those numbers and make my recovery better. Mentally/emotionally - I'm all over the place. I can NOT wait for the surgury to happen - the spleen really is ... a HUGE irratation. For the long term, it being gone may make the rest of the chemo treatments easier or at least it won't be there to potentially interfere with the treatments. But other than my wisdom teeth, I've never had anything removed. And this won't be just a simple surgury considering the size of my spleen (34 cm long). The cut will be about 12 inches long - Dr Swanson showed me the cut he'd make - starting at my left love handle up diagonally to the base of my chestbone. So big scar but also big area that will be sore for a while. And then over the weekend, occasionally had morbid thoughts about what would happen if I didn't make it through surgury (my sister didn't help, pushing me on "Do you have a living will" and "Does Dan have medical power of attorney"). The morbid periods weren't very long but still didn't help my mood at all. So overall - Happy/scared/hopeful/cringing/etc... Roller coaster, anyone? Dan has been fantastic in his support as well as all of the other support that both of us have received has just been incredible. And now as I look at the clock, less than 24 hours to go... GACK!

I'm glad I'm not the only who is thinking this. My thought is that Niki did die in the fire, but Tracy is really Jessica, Niki's twin that she thought was killed. So the strength was always Niki's - but she was inhibited only only used it when her "Jessica" persona took over, whereas the real Jessica has a cryo-power...

Vic- I think she will only give it to you, if you take the hubby too....

As far as the weight loss, AND now that you're also mentioning back pains, GO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR and get blood labs done.... Quickly.... Also - Congrats on yours and Mason's new place!

Thank you Carl - those were GREAT! Mike - thanks, Dan and I really appreciate all of the thoughts and support we're getting...

Ok - so NOT as wildly optimistic as I was during my post... I am still feeling well, feeling mainly bored with tons of energy - until I actually try to do something. First major time it hit me was Sunday night when I tried to go grocery shopping on my own. I had to pause twice in the store, and as SOON as I got back to the car and had the groceries loaded, I just sat in the drivers seat to rest. Described it to a friend at work and he's the one that coined the phrase that I'm using for this blog entry title. So - at least when I got home from shopping, I told Dan the truth (and let him have his "I told you so") - as well as calling my boss and telling her that I'll be out a bit more. I WANT to go in. I WANT to do things... until I get 5 minutes into something (oh, like washing dishes) when I hit a wall. So yesterday (Monday), I stayed home and paced myself (both cause I had to and cause Dan would have killed me if I didn't). Got up, had a good breakfast, read news, napped. Got up, had lunch, did a little dishes, napped. At least to make sure I'm not sleeping the whole day away, I'm setting the alarm so the naps are only 60-90 minutes. I did call my doctor yesterday and set up the first of my appointments - tomorrow at 11AM. I almost called first thing this morning as I was feeling like shit - slight headache and stomach pains. The stomach was mainly acid I think as eating plus taking my morning pills (which include previcid) helped a TON - and I think the headache was more caffeine based as a cup of coffee helped that. But it was scary waking up like that because I wasn't totally sure what the heck was going on. One other factor is that my spleen once again feels very large.... Hmmm... not sure if I mentioned the spleen yet. It's one of the symptoms of the CLL Leukemia - an enlarged spleen. Before last week, I couldn't tell you where my spleen was, how big it should be, what the heck it is - nothing other than "Oh ya, I've heard of that part." But when I first got to the hospital, one of the things they noticed was my spleen was very enlarged. Normally, the spleen is on your left side and is smallish (fist-sized?) and barely going a little lower than your soft-ribs. Mine when I checked in was MUCH bigger, not only going down to the level of my belly-button. Also, when I lay flat on my back, instead of the left and right sides of my abdomen being level, my left side was about an INCH higher than my right. Now by the time I checked out, it was still down to my bellybutton, but it was only bulging like 1/4 inch. Last night, it's back to at least an inch thicker, but also now instead of flat, it's more... bulged. It's like if before you could simulate my belly by putting your left hand on your left part of your abdomen and that was the bulge - about the size and thickness. But now, instead of a flat hand, it's slightly rounded hand. It doesn't hurt, except when I've got a bit of gas (which with my pills, is frequently). I still feel good overall. My mood took a bit of hit this morning because I had THOUGHT I was getting better... but the "reality" of leukemia is starting to hit. Last week, I got ... lucky? by quick prognosis, quick start to treatment, and very mild reaction to the treatment (I still haven't gotten hit by nausea, but in part due to taking daily anti-nausea drugs). At this point, I don't know when I'll go back to the office - possibly tomorrow after the doctor's appointment but at this point, I'm not planning anything other than playing things by ear.

You realize out of context, this is quite a funny sentence?

Visit with my mom went REALLY well - she took the news fine. Part of it I think is that I looked good (ie, health cheeks, etc...).

Oh F**K!!! Waking up, back at HOME, with Dan at my side after a week... I can't begin to express how happy I am. I really am feeling so well. It is so ironic, having leukemia and going through one chemo treatment, I right now feel BETTER than I have most of this past year. I have energy (due to the transfusions and now having a much better red blood/hemoglobin counts), I'm REALLY well rested (from sitting/laying bored in bed at the hospital for a week), and I have Dan and my dogs back around me full time! Yesterday was good - it started with talking with my doctor and going over not only what would happen yesterday, but also the long range plans. He scheduled my third and last dose of the Fludarabine for 3PM yesterday and went over a lot of stuff from the various prescriptions I would need to get, what each one did and when to take them. We talked about scheduling a blood test at his office once a week and that the future treatments would again be a four-day process, but done out-patient through his office. I'll do chemo treatments every three weeks, so the next set will be the week of Sept 29th. Now he did warn me that even though I have so far felt no ill effects of the chemo, it can kick in around the 10th day after treatment. One of the prescriptions is for anti-nausea so if out of the blue the chemo does start hitting me, I can immediately start to counter it. At this point, I am planning on going into work for the next two weeks, then probably take the week of my chemo off. Dan has been keeping a watchful eye on me, constantly warning me about not pushing myself too hard, and while I agree in part, I really do think it will be ok. And I know that NO ONE at my office will let me push myself too much either... We're going down to visit my mom - my brother did fly in (he had planned on visiting around now anyways) and should be at my mom's about an hour before Dan and I get there. That way they can have a good start of a visit, then he'll be able to help me when I tell my mom. On the good side, EVERYONE who's seen me tells me how great I look, with color in my cheeks, so even though the news may sound bad, seeing me feel so good in front of her should help her take the news. Catch ya all later...