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Kevin, You said you are worried about whether this is a good time to go on and do what you want to do. Here is a hint..there is never a good time...but there is always something that happens...life goes on, so go live your life before you wake up and see oops...I missed that opportunity..... Go forth, be free, live and be prosper..and yes, I would say blog writing counts..... write about anything...practice, practice and more practice... I am betting the Moms here will say go forth...unless you are going to be full time care giver to your Grandpa, there isn't much you can do about his situation...the rest will be ok..and there are trains, planes, automobiles if you need to get back home... Now, get out there and find your husband (I have often wished I was born Canadian...so much more acceptance there then here) In any event, you may even wish to leave the South....expand your horizons, see what institutes of higher learning will help you get where you need to be..maybe even consider doing that first before you do the job thing...sometimes it gets harder to get back into the education mode after being in the working world...just a thought..explore both sides of the coin, see what fits... And remember Sharon and Bev are wise Moms.....and so is yours..so the Three Wise Moms are saying go and venture forth into the world and be free and happy:) hmmm...I am betting the Three Wise Moms have something in that thought!! Michael

Kevin, I couldn't have said it better then Sharon..go live your life..Your Mom wants you to live your life....the issues will be there...and whoever said there aren't things like emails? phone calls? visits? Dare I say when your Mom needs a break, she will have a place to stay with you! It took my BFF, who knows my family well, to remind me that my family members live their lives and then do their best to try and tell me what to do (I am now 46 and they still try) As my friend Thora told me, they go and live their lives, why shouldn't you and be happy......As she explained to me, I could have brought home a wife and they would still have issues with me......The point being is your Mom will always be there...she has given you great values (they shine through quite well) and a Mom is a Mom...there for help/love/support and knows when you need to fly with your own wings...Your Mom knows this....so maybe if you express your anxiety in starting a new life, she can help you sort it out..but don't let others issues and stuff get in your way...they will be there whether you are in the same town or a zillion miles away... Your Mom and Sharon speak wisdom and love...run with it! Set down a plan, find a city you love and want to set roots in (even for a year or so), find a job you love..get the graduate degree going with a plan.....if its writing then find universities that specialize in that. Talk to your English Department where you are now, find a mentor and work together to achieve your goals. And as writers say, write every day, even if you think it sucks..its how you grow...and stretch...bring in life's experiences....and so on. Time to spread your wings and fly away and your Mom and the other Angels in your life will always be there.... As my Dad finally told me when I came out to him (just like your Mom.they just know..."go be happy, find someone you love and live your life") Your Mom is wise and trust me Sharon is wise....listen to the Moms:) They just know! Good Luck...go be happy....(even if it will involve growing pains and being scared....its ok Grasshopper....its all good stuff:) Michael

Kevin, Chocolate anything is awesome:) BTW, I have two nieces (one is 20..21 in March...I remember I visited my sister just before she went into labor..right after I left her water broke and off to the hospital.she said I brought her good luck....who knows..but my niece is cool....) Then my big sister has my nephew (soon to be 16....going to be a lady killer but very down to earth) and my soon to be 12 yr old niece (she is the genius...1st in her district in literature..I am her Godfather..we both love literature...) I remember that my sister still thought my nephew is like 2 when it comes to girls and refused to have "the talk"....Gay Uncle Michael to the rescue (I did and he said he already knew....sex ed and all..and I reminded him about condoms and no means no and only go there when ready/in a committed relationship about getting serious with a girl and our talk was top secret...he felt better..and told him he could come to me anytime about anything, which he appreciated and I told him I won't judge him...heck if I have to I would buy the condoms...better that then becoming a Great Uncle before my time and my sister a Grandma..she would have a heart attack!!) My sisters can be clueless.....um, the care and feeding of raising parents...LOL Michael

Viv, My youngest niece is like Bard...she was like in the 5th grade when well the secret got revealed....My nephew was very good playing along with it...(they get along so well...considering when she was born and he was 4.he kept saying "Mommy, you don't need Emilia..you have me..can't you take her back to the hospital?" He suffered from the green eyed monster syndrome...now as close as 2 peas in a pod!! Your son sounds like such a trooper...and an adorable one....I hope he doesn't scar and will be ok....he can be the pirate until the boo boos go away....I bet he still needed his blankey and teddy bear...we all need those no matter what our age:) I hope the "talk" goes well with your daughter...fingers crossed... I got told by the youngest of my sisters when I was in first grade...wasn't pretty and she as then and as now never pulled punches....blunt and I still remembering her saying "oh by the way there is no Santa"....ouch.... But we are all Santa....I still believe, I still believe:) Michael

Congratulations Uncle Kevin:) and yes, as was said, babbies miscarry all the time..it happens...whether a woman can carry them without physical issues. One of my sisters lost 3 children (two were twins in the same sac...it happens) It took her 13 yrs to be pregnant....now she has my nephew and niece, whom I adore and love with all my heart......so you will be able to stay in touch...and be the best Uncle there is:) good prep for when you want to become a Daddy:) Michael

Add to that and you continue to be everyones Xmas Angel and of course Rich's sexy devil....hee hee.. so, all in all, a good day was had by all... I still hope you somehow see the poor teen and his dog and I am hoping the next time it is it is good results meaning he is warm, safe, no longer homeless.... I bet you at least get a ton of sock toes in your stocking:) Michael

Kevin..I still have goose bumps! and did a huge exasperated sad sigh....yikes... but it is a good warning any time, especially around the holidays. thanks for sharing it. Michael

Viv, that is one of the saddest stories I have read...I feel horrible for the teen and his dog...I pray andhope that they are ok..I hope that they found a safe shelter to stay in and the Angels above are watching over him. I can't imagine how or why he is the situation he is in...its too sad to think about. You are a living Angel..is there a shelter nearby? I hope you get to see him again so you can tell us if he is doing ok...too bad the grocery store couldn't hire him for some work.. I have a lump in my throat and geez, there go the water works.. You really are an Angel to do what you did. Michael

Dear Kevin:) Don't get down on yourself for a tough day..as to the moody co worker..maybe you do something nice for her for helping you out with your shift..I bet she won't expect that and it will take the wind out of her sails..so to speak...hmmm..maybe a trip to B and N to find that cute sales guy for some help:) I am betting there is a connection to being moody with two very LONG term papers for finals? hmmm..just a guess.. who knew...if you don't eat pork, you are a vegetarian....well, I eat bacon..leaves me out of that category. good luck with finals....your mood will pass when the papers are done. be careful traveling/walking in the dark on a busy street...don't be like Rory and forget your cell and make sure its charged. Ok, Mother Michael is done...LOL study hard and good luck:) Michael P.S. thanks for your concern over my sinus/flu/cold/virus yucko stuff....all I have to say is besides the meds....chicken soup really does amazing things and has helped me a lot:) see, again, no vegetarian here..unless chicken counts..that really is a funny story!

Are you talking about the Ms. Grinch thingy? If so, it's true! Lol...Ron White quote again..."things that make ya go 'bahhaah' "... Xan Xander...Yes, I am speaking about your description of Ms. Grinch......I read it (and no offense to str8s..but kept thinking......"Thank God I am Gay!!!" Ms. Grinch....well, yuck, phoeey, gross, disgusting....and a Mean one Ms. Grinch... and I don't know her but evil, evil, evil.... If your best bud is in fact str8.....there has to be a nice down to earth girl for him...geez, its the Holiday Season, can't you and his Mom run a search for him....I say you get veto power, well never mind..next GF he decides on..just pick her for him... In the mean time, rescue him every once in while from the sloth of his own making.... more important though is the great work you are doing for yourself.....finding some pretty cool Gay guys to hang with whom I am betting know pretty cool Gay Guys and before you know it..you have found a "Quinn", a "Luke", a "Jude"...etc....and even some cool Gay friendly str8 Guys....and then you are less dependent upon the whims of Ms. Grinch letting your BFF see you....she probably knows you are a threat..you have taste, are human, etc.... I know shame on me for being very bad......for someone I don't know..but all I have to say is "Amen, I am happy camper to have born Gay" when you face that kind of Grinchdom! Michael

First of all...do research, research and more research..then when you are done...do it again google used cars....you will find a ton of sites... 2 good reliable sites are edmunds.com and kellysbluebook.com then talk to mechanics...check the blogs and owner comments.....and that's a start. call your insurance agent....certain cars are more expensive to insure then others. there are sites that check for a car's lemon law history....and a car's history in general. I hope that helps. Michael

Dave, Happy Happy Happy Birthday and many many more! I hope that you have a beautiful perfect year and a life time of good health, happiness and love...well with you and Chris, I know that will be so:) All the best always from across the Pond! Michael

Green....geez, I bet David didn't know the spawns from Satan lived next door..didn't he just move in....I would be freaked for a very long time......poor David....I feel for the other children who have to be the classmates of these current and future deliquents and sadly why am I better future gansters.... Not only keep the doors locked..but the blinds closed..I am sure the spawns from Hell wouldn't be above trying to take pictures through windows etc....geez, all too scarey.. and all in finals week....can you move the neigbhors to an undisclosed location? like in Antartica! ok, that's not fair to the polar bears and penguins and seals they would do horrid things to. Green...I say may you all bolt the doors, buy shades/blinds that don't stay open and check for nails in tires....yikes.....not fun..not fun. Michael

Awesome Sister Viv (I won't say little...in light of your blog entry) I will read chapter 5...this weekend when the brain is out of deep freeze. I am either always cold in the winter or sweating bullets in the summer (I hate extreme temperatures at either end) essentials..I am like Kevin in one way (I do drink coffee....I can't live without it....it helps jump start my sluggish hypothyroid..and if anyone has one they will understand that...I know its not good but it is what it is....) but I also drink water (I know you hate Costco but thankfully I LOVE their Fruito2 water)...so I have to have both (I don't drink sodas or orange juice or hot chocolate or milk) in the winter a sweatshirt with hoodie...or sweater.... in the summer, shorts...sneakers. now I sleep barefoot but during the day...brrr..as to flip flops.... I need my computer, fax, phone, email for work and my copier and typewriter and my brain.... The mail delivery system, federal express, office supplies. Heat in the winter/air conditioner in the summer. Lately, lots of tissues...and my blanket and per Bard, I have to agree, I need warm warm hot showers.. and a must unless like when I am sick now...the gym...for cardio and weight machines..it keeps me sane (ok as sane as I try to be....ok, so if you think I am insane...ok, so maybe I am...oh boy...I better stop) funny, how you take that away (oops..lets not forget the microwave, the car, gas for the stove to cook) and I find if one of those things disappers, I am a wreck...add a combination.....and oh brother, its bad enough I am technology challenged, I can't fix many things so, the house of cards can really play havoc and make me a mess in 2.5 nano seconds. ugh, I am getting depressed....and the brain is saying ok..stop now...no need to depress the rest of us...lol night night and put some socks on Awesome Sister...brrrrr.. Michael

Bev, I couldn't have said it any better nor more beautifully expressed.... Bao, you are who you are....be proud of whom you are...those that don't see that lose out on the beauty that is you....as to fighting...why waste the energy and it won't accomplish anything except get you and others hurt. Stand tall, be proud and live freely as you wish....it is your inalienable right as Bev said:) Michael

And add to that its the heart, a sensitive soul....a good listener....and that intangible called "chemistry" of course someone who has sensual lips, good kisser, a good spoon/snuggler....but sometimes it can sexy hairy legs or chest or hair you want to caress and run your fingers through while you kiss or caress or look into your Man's eyes ...its all sorts of qualities...not one thing...they all combine to make love love...if that makes sense.. it could be a killer smile or that come hither smoldering look.... I think you get the idea:) well I think Kevin and Eric said it best. Michael

Xander...ok, your poem did it for me.....as I cry and think of the Angels in life.....that was an amazing poem/story.... now here is another.....the actual short story of Brokeback Mountain: http://www.newyorker.com/printables/archiv...212fr_archive01 Michael

Xander...I have to agree with Kevin...go find your Prince Charming and also some very cool friends... Not sure if the Choir Guy is Gay...just that I don't know many str8 guys who would make the comments he does. You know of at least 2 Gay Guys who you could chill with...that's a big start and I bet they all have a circle of cool friends....so go on and get in on making some cool friends, vibing with your fellow Gays:) and enjoying life. Who knows if Justin is Gay..but one day if you wish to come out to him maybe he will be super cool with it...maybe not...but I am betting he will be....even give him time to adjust...as it happens. Don't miss out on life...as my BFF told me ages ago (go live your life...go be happy...every one else around you is living their life...don't miss out...(she was referring to my worries over how family and friends would take it when I came out to them...as she said, knowing my sisters, I could have brought home a wife and they would have found fault..so forget that...they live their lives..go live yours...find a Guy to love and so on.) Its good advice..so you are starting to live your life...freeing yourself to be the best happiest Xander, who is Gay and sings well, pretty humorous, smart, has some cool guys who want to be friends with him, etc. all in all....pretty cool? I think so:) Michael

Xander...wow, you have grown a lot in a few short weeks.....and are opening yourself to possibilities.. now the Gay Guy neighbor..why can't you invite him to your house or agree to hang out somewhere. i would have the same vibes about the choir guy..if he ain't Gay..then I am str8....rofl... and talk about a tease...I am sensing he is.. now the cool Gay Guy at school..who says you can't say hi and talk to him.. you are breaking out of your shell....so time to go for it...and It looks like you have friends and didn't even know it...... If Justin is str8...will you love him any less as your Best Friend Forever? (ok, he has really bad taste in a GF..your last description....it sent me howling with laughter. At least have pity on him.....I mean....somebody better.....the poor guy....(I won't make jokes at the poor guys expense....but come on...you have to laugh at your own last post response to me..it is funny...) You seem in a good place....go forth and find ye Gay friends and friends in general.....well it seems you already have and I am smiling big time.....you are on your way... God made you Gay...she done good.....now your poor str8 friend....he needs to have you pick out his GFs (heck he may be Gay..who knows...but if he is str8....well, you have good taste....can you do a Queer Eye makever for the poor guy?) ok shame on me for being bad.. but I am proud of you:) the miracles of the holidays...you are on your way:) yippee:) Michael

You told your so called friend you are Gay and he or she can't cope....well, as said you can give them time to deal and talk to you about it...if you told them yesterday and they didn't have a clue....let the shock wear off..or if you told them sometime ago and they still can't cope..and they won't tell you why.....I say time to let em go...its their issues and stuff and not yours..you are the same person you have always been...so you are Gay....you can say the same thing about them (yikes you are str8..I just can't deal) Hopefully, they can see that they are just being silly..but if they have issues..remember its their stuff not yours.. at that point, maybe its time (especially if they can't be mature enough to talk to you about it) to let it go and them too. I was often surprised when I came Out...People I thought would have no issues whatsoever ended up being the biggest homophobes (even family members like a sister who has a Gay attorney, Gay realtor, Gay friends..yeah she loves me but she doesn't quite embrace me...and I know the difference and can feel her stuff....so thus she gets less of me...in her life....my sisters/family have large amounts of homophobia..I thought hers would be least..go figure) Then there were people who I thought would never speak to me..but did I get them wrong...they have been nothing but cool and supportive....so you just never know.. Good Luck and remember you are ok and the same person you always have been..the friend with issues....well, unless they can get over pleading the 5th.....they will be the former friend with issues...just my humble opinion. Good Luck:) Michael

Kevin...the man with a plan:) sounds cool to me....I am working on cutting down on my caffeine intake...but with my sluggish thyroid, coffee gave me a kick in the get go.....and of course the gym....cardio plus the weight machines (don't ask this geek to do the free weights...not a pretty sight...a funny one yes...pretty no...) One day remind me to tell you about a date I had in the late Spring.....I didn't measure up (height wise: I am 6ft 1" and my date only likes men 6ft 3" and taller) and then I discovered my date had dated a friend of mine who was much shorter then me....then it got worse....I thought he was single....wrong again....so I am going with the smile theory.....maybe at least I will attract guys with nice smiles....not so bad on that thought:) Like the strawberry blond killer smile Guy....who I have a crush on...ah....well, we will see if I give him a come hither smile...he smiles back and wishes to strike up a conversation... Hope and smiles spring eternal! Good Luck with your cute smile Guy..I like the hey want to grab a water/tea/coffe and some holiday goodies with me...and say it with a come hither smile:) I bet it works! (fingers crossed and smiles smiling:) Also, Thanks to Nick for helping me work on my smile Gaydar:) Michael

this posted twice...grrr...

To add to what Sharon said, try "Beaches" and also "Terms of Endearment" I also cry at "Moonstruck"...its both funny and sweet and romantic and makes me cry every time. "Its a Wonderful Life" always does it for me too. If anyone remembers Janis Ian's song "At Seventeen"...that makes me cry buckets..only cause it reminds me of being that age and the words are prophetic and I self identified a lot with the song. Love songs make me cry... here is one that is sad (The Blowers Daugher)...I just imagine a guy with beautiful eyes...its a sad, love song... /Users/user/Desktop/03 The Blowers Daughter.mp3 I hope that helps..... Michael

Kevin..so what does Mark (the movie person) look like....hmm..I will have to consult The Advocate... now, if you see the cute counter Guy.....you could um, say, hey, how about a cup of coffee after work? and say it with a smile:) Now, I know what you mean in your blog (besides that I ramble) I am trying to be more pro active in the dating thing...I just had some bad ones recently..so time to get over that too....and here is to smiling...Nick gave us his secret and I intend to try to see if it works... ok, back to work I go....see even this is brief for me.. Michael

Kevin... I will keep the brief....Anthony Rapp, who plays one of the str8 guys (he is strawberry blondish with glasses) is Gay in real life and he is cute as a button...so if that is who you mean..you got your Gaydar right:) I will comment more later....he is in the last scene of the movie and in the original play he is the Moderator... see you got it right:) Michael