Rocketcnj

Green, I hope you find closure, peace and happiness and some quiet time for you and of course you and Chaz... and you know how I feel since I have been hoping you and Chaz become BFs and as BFs also BFF (I feel you two are that in many ways so its solid way to start..you have a karma good connection with each other:) Hugs and Good Karma sent your way:) Michael

Xander, how about you find ways to spend "friend" time with your friend and enjoy those moments together. I am sure he has his own pressures, as we all do....so I am betting he will enjoy your time together as much as he does. Look at it this way..there will be the day when you will have a BF and you will be spending a lot of time together...there will be friends that don't get the exclusive time with you that your BF gets. I venture to say some friends will be upset with that and some friends may not even like your BF and think him evil for putting you under his spell...it will happen. So, in the meantime, as Lurker said, you don't even need to mention your friend's GF when you spend time with him...but at the same time be a listening supportive friend (no need to be the "Judgmental" friend and say what a mean harpie evil witch you believer her to be....since I bet he will feel that then says your friend has no taste/discretion and Judgment in his choices) Now maybe you can find time with other friends..is there a GLSEN you wish to be involved in..a Gay teen center? Are you OUT or wish to find some Gay/Gay friendly friends....does your friend know you are Gay..are you ready to tell him...stuff for you to focus on and work on....sounds like you a substitute Mom in your friend's Mom....a cool person per your blog..so maybe someone to hang with to get cool good advice from? Just some thoughts....I know I have been there when friends get involved with their BFs and drop me like a hot potato then come back when the latest BF is history....it happens..just hang in there and focus on you:) Michael

Snow Dog, Considering very people ever spell my first name correctly....I always see every one reversing letters on me....I always get see nearly everyone spell it "Micheal" instead of "Michael"...so, I had to laugh at my own silly slip of the keyboard (add to that my libido was in full gear and so I really messed up all the way around) and um, Green, sorry to have hijacked your blog to get way way off topic... Michael

Green, Good Luck and Lots of Good Karma sent your way and Hugs....I know it can't be easy and the pain/hurt and healing that will be done. My thoughts go with you. Michael

Val..Happy Anniversary to your Parents!! I miss your blog entries....and um, did you know that on GH, Lucas is Gay (the character..not sure if the real life actor is)....I have missed the last few weeks..so not sure if he came out to everyone past coming out to Georgie. The last actor that portrayed Lucas on GH is the actor on Desperate Housewives that portrays the Gay BF (in real life he is str8) of Bree's son....see, even I know boring, uninteresting gossip...that and your brown hair may be driving you insane. I have also been missing One Life to Live these past few weeks and I heard it finally got good again! Enjoy the rest of your stay.....and details on any fun shows:) I am sure your BF misses you tons..and the Gang back in Pittsburgh...we online miss you tons too:) Michael P.S. I still say the Ken doll is Gay and you are cutting edge in your thoughts!!

Green, Good Luck and Lots of Hugs....and well, you know I am biased...I am hoping you and Chaz end up together (and um, not that my vote counts..trust me it doesn't..only yours does) Any how.....Hugs and Good Karma sent your way..and I hope that fists are avoided and conversation is in depth and closure achieved, if that is what you want. (fingers crossed it is the start of real healing for you:) Michael

Libbonobo a Freudian slip on my part..hee hee......well, in its own way, it fit to match the post. Thanks for your sense of humor and your excellent sense of the situation (your post not too long ago spoke volumes, and so it seems to have been prophetic...of course we hope Green heals..but well, the romantic in me wishes for he and Chaz to be together (hence my romantic ramblings before and Freudian slip of the tongue/blog post:) Michael

Green, I agree with Kitty...your blog and life could be on Logo or Here Tv......Gay reality tv show that is also mixes romance, comedy, drama, great friends and ooh la la plots/story lines and can feature your GreenWorks Productions (yes, I know its a purposeful play on words of Stephen Spielberg's "DreamWorks" Productions) I think you could be a great script writer...the description of Selen and her very yummy (but sadly, alas str8 but very Romantic BF) is cinematic! Your kitchen Kiss...well, I can even see the fireworks going off...and the moon shining brightly and the stars in the sky twinkly bright... Ok, I know, It is a Green Production..but very sweet...and I think Libidino's post way back was dead on accurate..but please take your time to heal...and yeah, invite us to the Green-Chaz Wedding (ok, as you can see, my telling you to take your time isn't worth the post its written on..since I am with Selene on this way..I think you and Chaz are made for each other..that comes along so rarely..so I vote with Selene....I know I don't get a vote....and I know I am being bold in stating what I am saying..but after you heal...marry that Boy (Chaz I mean) and live happily ever after..Good Luck you very wonderful Green....Hugs to you and Chaz and smooch some more:) The End of my post:) Michael

Viv..time to give the hubby Costco buying lessons..I love the place but you have to be selective... for instance, if its not a name brand on reliable things like mayo...don't go there....and honestly, I buy the low cholestoral low fat Hellmans kind and they don't have but what they do have of Mayo is made for giants and takes up a whole refrigerator......time to teach your hubby discrimination in buying.......hee hee.. and I just got Bounty....well now its down to 10 roll packs...but I use it a lot...but there you save....other stuff...well, to your Albertson's you go...have Rich watch the Seinfeld episode where Kramer goes to Price Club..it will make your point..... and I read Chapter 9 of DD....that made my brain swim with a zillion thoughts....now I get to read your story:) Michael

Green, you are already on your way to recovery..good for you! It will work its way out and things happen for a reason (so I keep being told) and things will work out for a reason..of course, when you are in emotional pain and hurt, that is the last thing one wants to hear..but I believe you will be ok..you are a strong good person and your values and ethics will carry you through the pain out of the darkness into the light....your friends have given you good advice.....and an outsider's view will be helpful. Hang in there and Hugs and good thoughts and Good Karma sent your way. Michael

Green, As you can see, your friends here want to hear from you and be there for you....we all are worried and send our hugs and feel frustrated that we can't do more. As Kitty said, If I were a friend (the in person kind you see and know very well) I would be worried if I didn't hear from you in a few days. I would also want to be there for you. So, screw the I needed space to be with Julio..that was before he left you......Life went upside and inside out and warped speed underside in an email post it...I am sure if your friends knew what happened they would want to be with you and to hold you, let you cry, take good care of you and help you grieve and scream and do whatever you need to do to get by as this unfolds. So, screw the you needed space stuff....reach out to them...friends are there in good times and in horrible times and you need them badly now...so, go to them, and have them take care of you...The Green we know would be doing that for them! Please reach out to them and let them be the friends that you know and love and be there for you! Hugs and Good thoughts, Good Karma and more Hugs sent your way and of course, keep expressing yourselv so you can let out the feelings..... Grab a teddy bear to snuggle with so you can feel Teddy Bear Love and cry your tears...works for me... Hugs again...I don't know what else to say...except we are hear for you and here for you. Michael

Viv.....wow..now that is a lot going on in one day! Your son sounds adorable and sweet..poor little tyke....I bet he thought he was in the bathroom and the meds and being almost asleep mixed him up. Now, as to the hockey guys (I am told although I haven't been um able to actually prove in person) that there are quite a number of Gay hockey players and not a big deal to them. Elton John I hear is quite the DIVA..but a loveable wonderful generous one. As to the hottie boss....way too funny....and he really turned the light off (did he not see you...or was busting you? reminds me of lectures my Dad used to give that he didn't own shares in the utilities so if I wasn't in a room turn the lights off, please...I can still hear his voice on that point (and too often I forget to turn the lights off...some bad habits never change) Now as to the str8 moron teenager who did what he did (and he used the old trick str8 boys use to taunt Gay teens in the locker room..and yeah, I was often on the Gay teens perspective having suffered through that humiliation...way too often) but I agree with Nickolas..that str8 teen needs his a** kicked butt good (pun intended)!! I am sooo glad you have him the what for you pea brained Moron!!! I feel the Gay teens pain too..poor kid.... Michael

Green, I know you have gone away for a few days..I just read your blog entries....all I can say is HUGS and we all are here for you whenever you need to vent and be here for you. I cannot believe Julio would go all the way to Spain and all you got was a Sex and the City computer post it..that he can't take it any more...that does speak of deep issues..his not and its not you and oh my...I don't know what else to say except I am sorry for your pain and hurt....you are one amazing wonderful Guy!! Your friends will be there for you and we are too when you are ready.. Hugs sent your way and good thoughts as you grieve....and take your time to work through it all... I am so sorry, Michael

Greg, I second Cool Comings comment:) I read your can opener blog and roared..I just didn't get a chance to tell you..so blog when you can...we will be here to read and comment:) enjoy the karate....and happy weekend:) Michael

Viv.. OH MY GAWD!!!! ROFLMAO..How did you not choke or laugh loudly or scream.."oh my I am such trouble"... I bet Rich (and well, you will let her out to date occassionally) wants her locked up in the tower until she is at least 50...hee hee ten and already she is thinking "Mrs. Bravo"...um, give her the liberation line that before she gets her "MRS" degree she has to finish school..or else her Gay Uncles will be going all wild and crazy.... Well, at least the youngster feels comfy to say those things around you.... hmmm..cute boss? details..is he "family" or a str8 guy? sure, leave us with a teaser...LOL You are still the best:) Hugs....and all too funny a story...heal those fingers..the typing ones:) Michael

Malediction...see what communication does..it does help a lot....now, I bet in person communication is even better (you said you chatted online) So, now you both have a lot to talk about and grow together and see where things go in general:) Good luck and all the best to you and your BF!!! Michael

Dear Mom Viv...ok, what was the tween daughter saying to Mrs. Bravo that sounded good or Mrs. Bravo said to her..I am soooo lost....and hormones raging already.......yikes.....well, you have plenty of energy...and now I know why..you will need it....and as your now not so young one enters those horrible hormone years that seem to last until she hits 9th grade....let's hope your other finger nails aren't worn to the nub worrying.. Now, as to the poor excuse of a co worker.....um, the line "if I am going to have to do her work, why am I not collecting her pay check?" and why is your boss oblivious to the fact he is wasting good money on dead wood and not rewarding you for doing her job and finding a replacement for the dead wood not Or should I say "fake wood" since you said she is not so nice, but very fake? Ok, that's a long run on ramble..but please.....you have enough to do already....tell the boss to get a clue, buy a vowel and hire a worker not a fake slug of one! and that is me being grumpy since I know I have to do work this weekend and I need a break.....grrrr.. ok, Mr. Rambling Grumpy is signing out... Hugs to you and extra energy to you for the raging hormones that you will have to deal with in the next few years in the sweetness and light of your growing up daughter.....nooo....don't let her do it...hee hee...I bet she breaks a lot of hearts....I am sure you will be there with the tissues, girl talk, hugs and great Mom advice... I know she will do the eye roll thing but tell her that your online buddies think you are the coolest:) Ok, I can see her giving me the eye roll thing....LOL Michael

And some of them end up as President of the United States, Vice President of the U.S. and their evil cronies..ok, I know, off topic big time and belongs in the Soap Box..but I couldn't resist..... On another note, Green, yikes....I am beginning to think we are going to have to register your hands as protective lethal weapons...of course they are like Marvel Comics characters..doing work for the Good Guys..Indeed, you even have a Marvel Comics Name (i.e. "Green") You protect the environment from evil sludge types...hence "Green" That story should be its own movie...at least some good came of it.....Chaz met your former crush..and maybe sparks will fly and Green does good once again:) and as to the crazy brother that has peas for brains....give him a can of ass whooping and send him away from you for good.....Geez, that whole scene freaks me out.....what the you know what is wrong with him? and Selene...forgive me but um "friend" isn't what comes to mind.....geez, with her and her pea brain brother they put you and Chaz and themselves in major harms way... you are safe, having made us safe from evil....(movie screen fades to black as Chaz kisses his new BF and you are smooching with Julio:) Happy Endings do exist....stay tuned for the Next Green Gay Marvel series:) Michael

Dom, Yeah for Matt....and I am glad that he convinced you to stop smoking those evil cigarettes that run your health and empty your wallet.....I am allergic to cigarette smoke (goes back to being a very small child and being stuck in the front middle seat next to my father in his big old station wagon and he chained smoked....and sadly as a small boy with all that smoke in the air, my lungs smoked with his.....so glad he gave them up a few years later..I have two sisters who smoke and aren't allowed to smoke in my home..and I don't care how bad the weather is if they visit me..smoke outside and away from my humble abode..if they are going to pollute their lungs- not on my watch!!) feel better soon (I am saving Desert Dropping for the weekend along with Auntie Viv's story) and rest the throat, gargle, tea, honey and lemon and hand signals (and if your office co workers do not understand get Italian hand gestures and feet stomping.....well, um, give them the evil eye...if they misbehave!) and a hint on Desert Dropping...Rory was the one dropped off in the Desert and well, given the mess that has ensued maybe Dessert Droppings it should be! I am with your dog....cats are evil (cat dander/hair makes my allergies go nuts and they are just sneaky and evil and if I were the dog I would run away from it too..one of my friends has a cat that I call the Exorcist...it sees me and gets all crazy hissing and head turning all the way around and evil hexes thrown on me....it hates me and I am terrified of it.....now don't say it...yeah, I am a scaredy cat....no a scared Italian who FREAKS OUT OVER CATS.....TRUST ME...YOUR DOG IS SMART..RUN AWAY....RUN FAST AND RUN FAR!! I know doesn't help if you are the end of the leash as the dog yanks you fast and furious down the block away from evil cat! Michael

Dear Viv:) You are the absolute best!!!!! Big Hugs and a Kiss on the Cheek:) Michael _______________________________ TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey Name: Michael Birthday: May 5, 1959 Eye Color: Brownish Green Hair Color: Brown going grey Height: 6ft 1" Right Handed or Left Handed: right handed Your Heritage: Italian The Shoes You Wore Today: sneakers Your Weakness: being sensitive used against me and when I lapse into my co dependency. Your Fears: dying lonely, alone and not having that one true long term love of my life to be with. Your Perfect Pizza: pepperoni, sausage, extra cheese, mushrooms Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: find that special Guy to begin that love of my life relationship. Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL and the smiley Thoughts First Waking Up: Coffee and what do I have to accomplish that day and damn why did I stay up so late. Your Best Physical Feature: I leave that to the eye of the beholder. I am my own worst critic. Your Bedtime: Depends but ranges from any where from 11 pm to 2 am Pepsi or Coke: neither. I don't drink sodas but do drink water Do you Smoke: NO!!!!!!! Do you Swear: oh do I ever Do you Sing: Yes, but not when there are humans or other creatures around. I sound like "I Love Lucy" with a frog stuck in my throat Do you belive in yourself: Most times except when I get depressed and/or when things go wrong and then I start to crumble and that vicious cyle starts of self doubts. Do you think you are Attractive: Again, that is in the eye of the beholder. I hope I am to the future Mr. Love of My Life. Are you a Health Freak: I try to eat healthy, take my vitamins, exercise but not too much of a health freak past that. Do you play an Instrument: No and I have no sense of musical rhythm and tone deaf....ugh!! Ever been called a Tease: Yes (a former BF called me his "horn dog" but he had my heart, mind, and well, you know and yes, I thought he was the love of my life, the cheating S.O.B....broke my heart in bits and pieces and yes we did live together...ok, enough of that...ouch ouch, hurts too much to go there. What country would you most like to Visit: Italy Number of CDs I own: over a 100 Number of Piercings: None Number of Tattoos: None Saying that Bothers You: "Oh, just get over it!!" and "The problem with you is that you are toooo sensitive!!"

See Slaveboy:) Snow Dog and James said it best....and if you feel silly with the weights..why big strong hot Cross Countyr Guy can assist you...and you can get to look at his hot body oozing toned muscles and sweat as he shows you how to do the free weights thing (I hate free weights but for a hottie...well, you get the picture..I prefer the weight machines....but with free weights and the machines, hot CC can help you out in many ways and you get close one on one body contact with him....a win win win...the Gay Gods do love ya after all:) Michael

I have to add what others have said....stop. look. listen. observation. keep an open mind. let your prejudices and preconceived notions go. It takes a long time to get to know someone and sometimes even then we don't truly know someone. It soulds like your relationship is in its early stages....go slow, see what happens. information, facts, honesty..all important..also, I tend to agree with Libbonobo...try not to let your values and judgments affect what may be his values and judgments...learn what his are (it doesn't mean that you have to agree with his values but it can help you understand him and see if its a fit for what you want to develop with him) I always say, best to learn what you both want in a relationship and the "rules" and "values" you both can feel will be yours together as an aside......some guys like to date older or younger or don't put an age range on things......its an individual thing, as far as I see it. (I have dated older guys who act like little boys and younger guys who are mature and wise way beyond their age.) There are many reasons for it..maybe you can ask your Guy what his views are on them..to me, there is no right or wrong on the age thing (assuming consenting adults...and not to be confused between two teenagers dating....but I hope I am not muddling this point..probably am with the rambling man that I am) Can you try and be open to what may develop in line with your value system? meaning, communicate, generally, (but not in a these are my rules....live by them or be gone) since you are still learning about each other..and maybe someone isn't comfortable (could be either of you) in just opening yet as to that kind of talk of where your values are, how you were raised, what your dreams/hopes/expectations are. In sum, as was said, communication and open honesty but also kindness..I find if someone is judgmental, by me listening, I can learn a lot about them. Preconceived notions of his former BF don't help except to fuel Jealousy and that only hurts you. The same with control issues....and co dependency issues.... my best bet here is go slow.....talk to your Guy (I won't say BF since I don't know how long you are together) and see what he is about...why not say, hey would you feel comfortable if I meet your former BF if you are going to remain friends, I would also like to get to know him too..and for your Guy to know your friends.... of course, being in the middle of emotions is tough...and of course, its not us in the middle of them..so, easier for me to stay calm (as having been where you are and not having been wise or smart or self confident enough to communicate...) all in all, kindness in communication with sincerity (and sincerity should be there..not fake) will help allay your fears....and maybe your Guy's fears too....hey, he could be just as nervous about developing things as they go in a relationship too... above all else...Good Luck:) Good Karma sent your way:) Michael

Auntie Viv, Could you kindly list the questions..so those of us non computer saavy types (like me who almost blew mine up tonight and had heart attacks getting it to work) list your questions without the answers so we can cut and paste and then list our answers? I hope that makes sense.....and I am with Little Bro Coming..my most overused phrase is LOL well that's a start anyway:) and that's my other most used phrase the since I screw up placing the smile from the clickable smilies....lol well, you get the pattern here:) Michael

Green....YOU truly did have a Scarey Fright Night Halloween...with the good part being the treats of LOVE from the BF....why not make a deal with him...teach him to cook under your supervision...it could be fun together... either that (and I sense you would be frustrated) make the deal with Julio that you cook, he cleans up (if need be under your supervision) and then you get dessert in bed.....treats for the sweets:) My computer gave me frights tonight..and made me skip the gym fixing it for 2 hrs.....and the fact that I am not computer saavy, lucky I didn't blow it up and of course when you call Apple Care, Of course, the computer problems happened after they are closed..so much for alleged 24/7 Apple Care...grrr. now, I have a raging headache and a sinus one too..bed time here.. Hugs for you and Julio and Chaz and hopefully the kitchen doesn't look melted and burnt like the Wicked Witch of the West....yikes.... Michael P.S. give the chicken a decent burial.....here lies Chicken Little may he rest in peace...burnt bits and all....hee hee...well at least Julio tried....didn't they teach him as a child..DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE..HOT...BURNS...HE IS SWEET..BUT DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE....PER ROYAL ORDER OF GREEN and that's the way it is:)

Nick, I know how you feel...I have done that and then get kicked..well, don't feel like a moron...You were being you....giving of yourself...hey, its ok to be loving and giving...and I feel sad for your former friend....seems as if he took advantage of your generous heart. I don't believe in wishing bad karma, since it comes back 10 fold..but in the order of the scheme of things, maybe your former friend knows how you feel and how he hurt you...maybe somewhere in there he will learn something and then hopefully learn not to take advantage in that way....just don't let someone's immaturity (and that knows no age limit) and bad conduct get you down so you feel you have to change your ways when they need to change their ways. I hope that makes sense.....just give your BF lots of hugs and kisses....think how lucky you both are...and snuggle closer and feel how much you love each other and how right that is...now, that should make you feel a lot of heaven on earth:) Hang in there Nick....remember your loved ones and online buddies have your back:) Michael