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Nick, Yikes..I agree with Reaper...being Gay to me is live and let live...there is room for everyone under the big Rainbow...geez...but, hey, live and let live....you have lots of friends...but ones that want to know intimate details about your sex life....well, um, he can't be um that good of a friend and yucko, was slime coming out of his IMs? ewwww....tell him to read a nifty story. I am spiritual but not religious but if you are, well just remember that some people don't share your views..its ok..it is what works for each person....organized religion freaks me out....I even get panic attacks at times going inside a church (even went to a friend's Buddhist meeting and had a bad panic attack.....it wasn't pretty and Buddhists are very peace loving people.) Any hoo....just keep in mind as Reaper said, some of us are aethists, some spiritual, some agnostic, some religious..but we are all human beings and Love is Love...I just read somewhere that if Jesus were alive he would be (or assuming if Jesus came back as Mary) hanging out with we Gays, Lesbians, down trodden, homeless, poor, those with AIDS/HIV and not with the rich types of the world....stay humble, help the least amongst us and then you shall be doing Jesus's and Buddha's and God's work...and human dignity's work. and you do a lot of that Nick..so keep being humble...stay open minded, forgiveness that you have but don't worry, you have your BF and stay strong in your faith...it is what it is..no worry about defending it...live it...no need to have to "preach it"...living it is what its all about...or words to that effect if that makes sense. Tolerance in our community is important too...those that don't get that..be more patient with them...you have lots of patience....just know its ok to be you...we know and love you:) oy, now I rambled ten paragraphs too long and sound "preachy"..sorry for that.. Michael

Dear Auntie Viv:) Good Luck with the new Job, which I know you will get!! As to your chapter, I am still on a DomaLuka high over TOU chapter 25...so, given my work week will be nuts...I want to save your first chapter for something good...like a reward or dessert after a tough week:) keep us posted on the job promotion:) Now, go get em Boss Viv:) Michael

Yes and leave those Walking Penises attached to Hotties for we Gays:) I am with you Dom telling your sister to send some your way (hopefully the Hot Gay Walking Penises and while you are at it, share as many as you can with your loyal devoted Gay Male readers:) ok, for the str8 women, the str8 Walking penises that your sister rejects get sent their way:) equal opportunity for all:) Your Dad is funny and sounds like what my Dad used to tell my sisters....not that they listened..ever!!! Michael

Green, Six Feet Under is one of my all time favorite series (in the first year, I watched it and kept telling everyone watch, watch, watch) and every one thought I was nuts...its one incredible wonderful amazing series that ended with one amazing song that made me cry buckets!! Johnathan sent you a beautiful song. It is amazing and the last scenes in Six Feet Under were beautifully done. If you can see if you can find it to watch it (maybe somebody taped it..I wish I had) It is an awesome perfect song...is it out on CD? Let us know:) Michael

Val, I am hoping you are sticking with Gay Ken..he needs a new BF and some Gay friendly "Graces" to help him in his time of need..the poor doll...finally let out of the closet and no one to dress up for! and who says you are on crack..shame on them! You are the coolest and well, your blogs may crack me up with laughter..but I am sure they have nothing to do with crack... Michael

Dom, you know I LOVE TOU...I will be both sad and happy..its an awesome story:) In any event, enjoy the weekend, get rest and before you know it you will be inspired for DD and Rory. For the record, who can hate Rory? Geez, the poor guy has been through hell and back in just a few short weeks. Crazy Grandma who can't follow directions from her only dying daughter to comply with her last wish after she passes away (no less drive sanely), one lying Dad, a cousin, who really isn't a cousin and really is Gay, his Mother died just a few short weeks/months ago and his life is upside down, sideways, wacky crazy confusion and now he discovers everyone is Gay (not just him) and well, maybe Che to dog isn't Gay (except we don't know that for certain either) Can you spell, D-R-A-M-A and C-H-A-0-S rolled up into one upside down turned crazy life for a teenager (heck for anyone)?!! I can't wait to read Chapter 25 of TOU......Dom, you are the best:) Michael

Green, You just continue to make me and all of us smile, shed tears of well good tears....no such thing as being too good or too human and you have plenty of goodness, decency and kindness in you all of which makes us love you There I said it....and I am so glad you found time for "Green" (even if you didn't get to see the seals). I agree with you. I find a walk on the beach incredibly calming. The same with watching the stars and moon and sky at night or early morning. I am also glad Chaz told your ex to take a hike.....and the ex is a control freak...duh, no thanks...they scare me and tend to make me run (I grew up with a control freak step mother and step sisters..too toxic for any one) Ok, back to paper work I go. Green, you continue to inspire me:) Hugs sent your way! Michael

Green, Um, thankfully you have your BF as a gatekeeper....your ex BF...geez, as you said, if he wants to ask Chaz out..do it himself....(refers to a story heading in TOU from Dom about growing some balls....) I have done the play Cupid thing and stopped a long time ago...everyone just hates you in the end...so I say as you said, if you want to ask him out, ask Chaz out and leave you alone! Now, this is my next question...how do all these people know Chaz is Gay? His brother asks you questions, the ex asks questions? You certainly haven't said anything so who is leaking information worse then the leakers in the Valerie Plame case? I am proud that you said, if you have questions about Chaz, ask Chaz..it is what I have done when others have tried to foist their drama on me in trying to grill me about someone or something I know.....break someone's confidences as you said and lose the friend and the respect as a person that can be trusted. My Lord, I would have a raging headache from all that drama......tell them to get a life, buy a vowel, find someone else's drama and leave you alone to eat in peace! You had a nice get together with friends gone amuk due to sleezy crazy ex BFs and brothers who should ask their twin what's up and not you.....I vote for tell the drama queens to take up acting on stage and not center stage in your life... there, now, I have screamed and feel better....I sure hope it gets better for you..you deserve Peace and Quite:) Hugs and Happy Weekend:) Michael

Green, I dealt with abandonment issues in therapy (probably some of my biggest issues.) All I can say is keep at it. My biggest abandonment issue is feeling abandoned by the fact that my Mom died when was one years old. The end result is I ended up growing up feeling abandoned by my father, my mother (yes, I feel abandoned and cheated and robbed by her that I never got to know her and feel her love the way my sisters did) and feel abandoned by my Mom's family (who actually did abandon us for dead and we have reunited when I hit my 20s but I feel a disconnect to them in too many ways) and the pain with all of that. (My father remarried a very abusive cold woman who raised me....I deal with that too..but the pain/anger/co dependency issues I deal with do have resolution). All I can say is (without interfering with the integrity of your therapy) is keep at it. I send hugs, good karma and hopes that you are keeping at it, which you clearly are. For me, writing, listening, feeling, thinking, time alone etc and doing life day by day helps.... You are a strong, loving, caring person. I have faith in you and that you will get where you want to be and need to be:) Hugs and thanks for sharing as you always do with us:) Michael

Dear Auntie Viv:) Congrats and let us know when it is posted so we can all read it together:) and did you say its HOT to? yummy:) Michael

Funny you should say that..I am part of another Forum (Gay of course) and we discussed Ken..and this very topic....http://www.newyorkblade.com/blog/index.cfm?type=blog&start=10/18/05&end=10/25/05#3137 I posted that as a boy, (the youngest with only sisters) I had my G I Joe but also played with Ken and said that Ken and G I Joe ran off together...... and we all admitted having played with sisters Barbies and Ken dolls our G I Joes and the fantasies we had and fun we had......so Val..once again, you are cutting edge and you didn't even know it in your observations! Michael

Dom... oooh la la...a story about Taylor..I vote big time for that and I am right there with you Coming:) and you know if you don't do a chapter 25..well, to me, chapter 24 ended perfectly.....but hey, who am I to complain about a chapter 25..hee hee...since TOU is my favorite Domaholic story....it has been from the first day I read your stories..now, of course, I LOVE the others, but to me TOU is very very real for many of us, myself included:) Bravo and Kudos and thanks for the most amazing wonderful story:) Michael

Dear Viv, I may be the Poster Guy for Costco (true, I have it down to a science..I go 15 minutes before closing) and I know exactly what to get..and it allows a few minutes to wander...the one near me isn't extra huge...actually about the size of your typical chain grocery store. But I don't get much in bulk....(except paper products..they just make them Bounty size, etc...) But, I feel for the parents who have to drag the kids, the husbands that don't seem to get what they are supposed to get when sent back to aisle so and so....I just do the eye roll thing too..but honest, I swear, I can be done in 15 minutes....(even with Costco jeans....they last as long as the designers and wear better) I don't have a large refrigerator so I can't imagine a gazillion gallons of milk or orange juice in them..but I do get my half and half there at a much smaller price then the store bought. The veggies and meats and cold cuts and such are good...so are the cleaning products...but I imagine that a chain grocery store for whatever else is needed (like the mayo and most salad dressings, etc.) are where its at. Trust me if you have to go again..try the 15 minutes before it closes solution and of course a list...know what you want before you go...its the only way. You will discover that way, its less hassle. (I end up spending more time in the check out line then getting what I need.) All I can say Wonder Woman, I mean Grace, I mean Auntie Viv.....(besides hearing "Mommy" "Mommy" "Mommy" and "Hun" from your Hubby) is that we do love you... and shout out to Sharon who always say it best in a line (I ramble best..takes me less time to shop then to ramble...) Michael

Green, If I were there I would give you a big giant HUG:) At least you can say that you expressed your feelings to your Dad. As you said, now its his decision to come see you and hopefully begin a healing process. I spent several years not speaking to my Dad but over the years we reconciled. I did my own therapy for me. I also started to speak to him to learn about his upbringing and what shaped him in his life experiences. He had a horrible upbringing and didn't get many "parenting skills". His Mom died when he was a small child, he was thrown from household to household, my mother's family rejected him because of he was family was from the wrong part of Italy, my Mom died when I was a baby, etc.. Sometimes, in my opinion, if you can get to the root of figuring out a person and what made them who they are, you can start to unravel and learn about the pain caused to you because they just didn't get those life skills. Indeed, when I pointed out to him he never learned to say "I love you" to any of us, he now does..that was BIG..AND I FEEL and KNOW he means it...he just never got those skills....or instincts or was a huggy feely kind of Guy (and he never got that as a child...which is very sad) I am not sure that helps. But then again in time maybe you and your Dad over time can work on issues. (and it sounds like it may take you doing your research to learn about his background before you were born to help you in trying to work out issues with him) You are a smart, loving Guy with a big Heart..don't lose track of that...and long as you know you made the effort but when you are ready and equipped to deal, then that's all that counts....hey, even, in time maybe you can gather the family (Mom and your siblings, if you have them) to work on things. Your tremendous heart and good soul and instincts and brains will guide you. I have faith in you:) Michael

Green, you have a good value system. Especially keeping secrets and confidences that friends and family and others tell you. I am the same way. It often frustrates people who want to know what I have been told. Those who have told me confidences and secrets know they stay in an iron clad vault in my brain NEVER to be revealed. Once my sister's best friend told me something in confidence but not to my sister. I never told my sister, who was so pissed that I knew and she didn't...when her friend finally told her the secret and that I knew she said she knew I would never tell so she felt safe to tell me. My sister was shocked that my lips are always sealed. It also helps in my line of work as an attorney. Keeping the ears open, the lips zipped. It gets you far in life. I am sure Chaz will be fine. It does help, as others said, to be forearmed with whatever his issues are. Research, get resources available to him for when he is ready to deal with those issues. That will help him and you as you help him:) Good Luck Green:) Michael

Green to add to that Green you are really a great friend. Chaz is very lucky and well, I feel Chaz is a great friend to you. I am betting you will be amazing long term friends:) and end up in an LTF (long term friendship) and in some ways you tend to be each others ying and yang in terms of gettting each others backs in fun times and tough ones. So, Green, since I feel like you are friend, we have your back and Chaz's too in the coming days as Chaz comes out. Hey, if Chaz feels comfortable, don't forget to include your husband so he feels part of the process and friendship (of course it helps you if your hubby wants to be included and I might add since Chaz is such a hottie, then it should help cut down on the jealousy factor which may ensue.) On another note, with twins there have been studies about Gay twins...usually, identical twins both are either straight or Gay and with fraternal twins, I think if one is Gay sometimes the other is straight..I think I read that some where.) Green you are the best:) Michael

Green, Now I am beginning to believe your life is a Nifty story...that keeps going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny......Now, how did you keep from laughing loudly....sounds like the older guy should have gotten a refund unless all he liked seeing was bad dancing and abs of steel.....geez, he could have popped in a porn video and seen a lot better with larger size objects..if you catch my drift. I said that your reunion with the crazies would be one for the memory books and I am right...you at least have a lot of memories and laughter with a very cool good friend in Chaz...its one you both can laugh at for a long long time! You never cease to make us all laugh..what is the saying that truth is stranger then fiction...yep, I say you proved it so on this one.. As always you make us laugh and smile with your adventures in life:) It is a shame the BF didn't join you..he missed some rocking memories! Thanks for being so as you woud say GREEN:) GREEN ROCKS:) AND SO DOES CHAZ!! Michael

Mark, No problem. I didn't think you meant Snow Dog. Honestly, I have infinite amounts of respect and admiration for him. I also feel he wouldn't want us to fret or gush over his return. Thus, I respect him for that too. I feel better knowing that you weren't referring to Snow Dog, particularly since we all do think the world of him. Also, because I know you are close to him and feel close to him. Kinda be upset, on my part, to know the shine was off of your friendship. Glad to hear its not:) In any event, I feel Lurker said it pretty honestly. I hope all in all if someone feels the need to take leave (say a leave of absence) that they feel comfortable to come back. Lurker's rule of thumb, so to speak, helps keep it in perspective. And if Snow Dog is reading this...a shout out to you and I hope life is getting better for you and your family:) Michael

Mark, If you are referring to Snow Dog, in my post to his announcement, I said in part: "I am a firm believer in never say never so as time goes by you may decide to join us again." Given Snow Dog's circumstances at the time, maybe, perhaps and I bet most probably Snow Dog had more on his plate in one sitting then most of us do in the course of a life time. His wife was admitted to a psychiatric facility after attempting suicide. She admitted to having addictions (I believe it was alcohol and pain pills). His son witnessed his wife attempt suicide and stated he NEVER wanted to see his mother again. (I suspect that their son and children will need his/their own therapy given what he witnessed and the pain/anger/angst of living through this tough time.). He had to make a decision about a new job 3000 miles away. Then decide to either leave his wife or stay with her. Also, where do the children go and what do they want to do. Does he stay put and accept another offer locally. (I believe he had one but the one in Virginia was his "dream job of a lifetime" according to him.) Add to that is the issue of his dogs: does he take them with him alone or do they stay in California. Don't you think under those circumstances the last thing he had on his mind was his participation in this Forum or any and not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, no less any light whatsoever, he did what he thought was best at the time. Hindsight is 20/20 and circumstances change. Maybe things have gotten a little more bearable for him. But I for one can certainly understand that at this point he feels that he is able to join in again. I also note that he doesn't appear to have any postings that I can recall. I hope that as his and his family lives improves and he feels he is the frame of mind to post that he does so. I for one hope his and his family are doing better. I am sure we all agree on that. The good thing is Snow Dog, whom you seem to be close to, is back. Why does that upset you? Geez, you said you even cancelled office hours, went home and was depressed. I would think you would be doing the Snoopy Happy Dance! I don't say that to 'bitch slap' you but come on, give Snow Dog a break. Be happy for him and happy he is back amongst us. Ok, enough of my ramblings. As one of my good friends reminds me "you make the decisions you do when you do based upon the facts as you know them at the time. There is no saying you can't change your mind as circumstances change." In sum, Your Honor, it appears that has what has occured with Snow Dog. I say, yippee and let's all do the Snoopy Happy Dance and welcome him with open arms. Dare I say, even Hugs:) Michael

Val, Good luck with the job search and the parents.....its tough raising family....and you have a lot of patience with yours:) Beyond that I hope you are feeling good in your brown hair and not wanting to send the parents off to parts unknown for driving you crazy. I give you credit for your stay back home. I did a few month stint with one of my sisters 6 years ago in between me selling my house then figuring out where I wanted to move. When the frustration level got too much, I made the dumb mistake of buying something I actually hated with a passion (and counted the days I lived there until I could sell) and then found my place here that I love.... of course, it was my fault but then again, hey if we can't blame family for something..oh well, I ramble again. Hang in there Val and it is good to read you are doing ok. I hope your law school applications are going well too:) Michael

A test...geez, what is the Professor doing trying to mess up your potentional love life? LOL Well, I am glad you did well and I hope that you keep us informed. I hope it will be good news for you on all counts (the hottie you like likes you and he is Gay and of course you did well on the test..yeah, that too:) Good Luck and keep us posted! Michael

Green, Coming Undone said it best:) We can create our own family of our chosing and the bigots of our family lose out on us....and you have the best family of friends there is:) Hugs and feel better soon:) Michael

Green, Now you have to love Chaz...that is one amazing very cool friend!! Add to that and he really created a great memory for you to help you feel better by play acting with the desk clerk and hottie that appeared thereafter (tell him to consider acting)...and I am sure you both laughed about that. I loved the line (oh no, separate beds, he snores you know!!) ROFL I bet we all wish we were there to witness the humor in all that:) I hope you are feeling better and just remember, be Proud and the ugliness of bigotry and ignorance and hatred are things you have escaped to create your own life where you are free, OUT and proud:) Gotta love Chaz with that all time great story!! You both rock! Michael

Green, All I can say is HUGS to you and for you.....It is like reading Kitty's blog too. The "N" word and the "F" word. I have heard them more times then I care to in my family. I did what you did. Scream and tell them utter those words again and say goodbye to me. Luckily, it never got to fisticuffs, but lots of silence (I didn't speak to one sister for a year, who kept telling me to get over being Gay. I told her did she plan on "getting over" being a woman? When I told her she could no longer change being whom she is (ok, ignore the sex change operation thing..you all know what I mean), then how can I get over the fact that genetically, I am a Gay man...(this from the sister who has tons of Gay friends, lives in NYC, has a Gay attorney etc.) Took us a while but she has gotten to be more accepting..... I have reminded bigoted family members that I am Gay, deal or don't deal, but I don't have to put up with their bigotry and if they want me around, I will call them on it or leave....(It has slowly worked) I give you a lot of credit and I am glad you had Chaz with you (at least he and you are sane).....I often bring friends to family events for moral support and I for one am glad you brought Chaz. Just remember in the morning you will be Gay, happy and enlightened. Bigotry is ugly through and through. We can pray for them and hope they change their evil ways.....Now, one and all, scream, I am Gay and Proud and thank God Almighty!! Hugs and then some sent your way Green and to Chaz too:) Michael

It makes your phone smell like urine and your phone may stop working. Not to mention your hand will get wet. GoBears......he said peeing WHILE on the phone and not peeing ON the phone...LOL:) Michael