centexhairysub

Okay, this is going to be a long one today... I actually had to take the day off because I literally was up three-quaters of the night bawling; of course a silver linning to this is I have lost at least ten pounds in water weight.... I am going to start with the Danfield situation since that is the least emotional for me. I thought his death was almost comedic relief from the rest of the story; not that it was funny that anyone died in this situation but the way Mark wrote the scene was just priceless. I think Wade had really forgiven his father and the Senator had forgiven himself. They worked like hell to repair their relationship, almost as if they knew they did not have time to dawdle. Wade was in a good place with his father so his death will be hard but he can at least take comfort in the fact that they were in a good place. Beau was always more of a momma's boy so I don't think the Senator's death will affect him as much; and Mary Ellen is a demon in earthly cowl so it won't bother her at all. There is no way that the Republican Party would support Elizabeth taking the Senator's seat. She is way to damaged politically to be a vialbe candidate. On top of that, the Republicans that were starting to gather strength in Virginia and the south were very much holier than thou and they would find her personally repugnant. From comments above, several are assuming the divorce that was publically announced has not gone through but do we know this? If there is no contest to the divorce, and with all the information that the parties have, I can't believe there would be; then a divorce doesn't really take that long. So instead of a widow, she very well may be the ex-wife of the Senator. Even if she is a widow though, let's don't forget a few things: she has been publically ousted in a corruption scandal involving a sweetheart deal with campaign donors, a public scandal with her daughter being beaten, her stint in rehab, then a public play that the rehab did NOT work to cover up later misdeeds. Even a tearful mea culpa isn't going to get her forgivness from the Republicans, maybe the Democrats but not the Republicans... It would be complete idiocy for her to even attempt to move into a more direct role in politics. If her family did not get her than Alexandra still has those lovely pictures and I don't think anything would keep her from releasing them not even her own destruction... Of those Hayes's left in Claremont, I think Gathan will be most affected by Robbie's death. I could really see this pushing Gathan either into the military or something else as a way of honoring Robbie. Wally and his family will feel this on an emotional level but Brad and his family will make sure that the help that Robbie promised for the next generation of Hayes will be there and the promise kept, plus I am pretty sure that Robbie had a will and made provisions in it. I would hope that this would open the heart of Robbie's mother and brother but I suspect they will view it as his punishment for being gay... Maybe the sister will show back up, I don't think there has been any mention of here since at least the mid or late 80's. Claire and her family, yes even Marie, along with Ace and Cass will all have those special memories of Robbie that they will be able to remembe and treasure. They have a little distance and I don't think they will be as impacted by this as the rest. They will need to be there for those that are going to have a harder time surviving this tragedy. JP is safe and he will make sure something good comes out of this tragedy. He has probably already forgiven Stef and Brad for how they treated Will. JP will rally the family around those that are left and help everyone mourn those we lost. JP is a rock. I think with JP it will be almost as if he lost a son with Robbie's death. He took him in when he was still in high school and really helped to raise him. JP did not always understand Robbie's emotional side or outburst but he loved his loyalty, the love he showed his family, and the way he always fought for what he believed in. Stef had already realized his error and is on his way back to his old relationship with JP and Will both. He will help Brad deal with his loss and in doing so will be able to accept the loss he feels as well. Robbie was almost like a step-child to Stef. Sure, he was Brad's partner but Robbie was the person that Greg most closely tied himself to. Robbie was in some ways an extention of Greg. Stef will question some of the things that he put Robbie through the last year or so; but will come out realizing that even though they may have fought each other, they cared about to many of the same people not to have stayed close to each other... They were family... Frank is going to be devestated by Robbie's death. The picture that keeps running in my head is how Barry was after Billy Schulter was killed when he was describes as just hollowed out. We know that Frank has some health issue and I hope this doesn't make them worse. I hope that Isidore will be able to help him recover. Isidore will be sad, a child she helped to raise is gone; but her real touchstone will be Frank's grief. Matt will be sad, I think he truly cared about Robbie but I don't think it will be like Wade losing the Senator. I don't think Matt ever really had that father/son bond with Robbie, to him Robbie was almost more like that favorite uncle or big brother that was always so much fun to be around and do stuff with. Matt was really almost a fully formed adult before he even knew about Robbie or set out to find him. Matt already had a father when he found Robbie, what Robbie did was give him a sense of his past and who he was and the freedom to embrace it. I do worry how much this will wear on his relationship with Wade. I was never sure after Wade slept with Brad if Matt ever really got over that, or how much it seemed to mean to Wade. Darius is going to have to deal with the fact that he did not try harder to keep Robbie from going back up. If anything moves Darius to make a real life change, it will be losing Robbie like this. I thought it was very copacetic how Darius watching the tragedy in the tower as it collapsed and Robbie in the tower both said " Holy Shit " at basically the same time... Robbie was always the one that Darius was closest to and I think his death will hit him harder than any of the younger generation. Much like Billy felt lost after Sam left, I worry that Darius will feel lost and disconnected from the family without Robbie there. JJ got a double whammy. He not only lost Jeanine, who had always been his parent, so to speak, but also Robbie who had taken her place when Jeanine started to have issues. Even though they were semi-estranged, I think Jeanine was still the most important person in JJ's life. This is going to take a while for him to process but after everything with his coach and now this; he will either double down on skating and make it his whole life, or he will just walk away from it... Will is going to have to be stonger and more grown up then he ever thought he could be. He is going to have to deal with his feeling on losing Jeanine, just when they seemed to be getting to a good place; Hank, who Will actually had bonded with and really cared for; and Robbie, who he finally had begun to really appreciate in a more adult setting. While Will cared for Hank more than anyone else in the family he will have the easiest time dealing with her loss, after all she was only in his life for less than a year. I think with Jeanine it will be harder. Will and Jeanine had come so far in repairing their relationship but they still had so much left to work on. I think Will is going to have some real issues to deal with the unresolved issues between he and Jeanine. The fact that Jeanine asked Will to take care of Maddy will mean a lot to Will though and that may help some. I think Will had always resented Robbie some for taking so much of Brad's personal family time from him. I think some of that was never really resolved but buried just beneath the surface of a lot of their issues. That being said, Will and Robbie had really begun to form an adult relationship that seemed to work for them much better than the adult/child dynamic that they had labored under for so long. I think that like Darius, Will is going to have some guilt for not pushing Robbie to stay with them some, but I can see him dealing with it better than Darius is going to. Will is also going to have to deal with Brad's reaction to all of this. I can actually see Will being pissed after the fact that Brad kept trying to drag Jeanine into the fight between them. Brad's behaviour really hindered some of the time that Will and Jeanine had in overcoming their differences. I am going to be interested in seeing how he copes with this anger on top of the grief. Plus, Will will work to keep his promise to Robbie to help Brad recover from Robbie's death. Will is going to have to deal with a couple of auxillary issues as well. The fact he was in the tower when it was hit, is going to give him a weird cult status when he gets back to school. It will be interesting to see how this plays out with him; Will doesn't really like to be the center of attention but in this case he really can do nothing about it. The other issue is I can really see Will being the nexus for how the different parts of the family, the different generations of the family, and even the different families in the CAP universe come together to deal with this tragedy. I don't even know where to start with Brad. Losing a partner is almost like losing a part of your own body; you almost cannot physically or emotionally function in the immediate aftermath. Add the fact that he and Robbie and been fighting, that he was trying to drag Jeanine into his battle with Will, when they should have been working on repairing their relationship, and his constant need to control everything; this could be a disaster waiting to happen. What I am hoping is that he will realize after an appropriate period of time is that quilt is debilitating and he will seek help in dealing with it. I hope that he realizes that his constant need for control is not about protecting his family but is a way to keep himself from getting hurt. What I hope is that he realizes how much he has to live for and how much love he has to give and how much there is to receive from his family and friends... Brad is going to try and be there for everyone but what I hope he comes to know is how much he needs everyone to be there for him. Brad will either try to stay the course himself and come out of this so wounded he will never fully recover; or he will finally grow up and realize he can't be JP and will be stronger for admitting others more fully into his life. Robbie was foolish, proud, whiny, strong, wishy-washy, decisive, stubborn, loyal, and a full mass of contraditions; he was fully human. In some ways Robbie was the most complex and fully developed of all the characters in the CAP universe. We all saw something in him that was in ourselves; that either made us connect to him that much more closely or be just that much more pissy about him. Robbie had the most intense and realistic relationship with all those around him. He loved his family fiercely, which made the fights just that much more dramatic and powerful. He fought for what he believed in, even when no one else thought he was right. Robbie was the grown up in his relationship with Brad because Brad has never really finished growing up. Robbie was either a pillar of strength or a punching bag depending on what those around him needed. Robbie was real. The decision that Robbie made to go back up after Jeanine and Hank was just who he was. He made sure that Darius, Will, and Maddy were down to the point that they would be able to get out without his help; then he made a decision to go back after the rest of his family because for Robbie blood did not make a family, what was in your heart did. Robbie was many things but in the end; he was a hero....

I still have my fingers in my ears, my eyes closed, and my head shaking NO NO NO...

Hallelujah fit perfectly but I am going with the Leather and Lace for the last call... And we all know how I feel about Destiny's " not talent " Child...

Heartbroken and sobbing....

Yea.... JP and Stef together is just the way it was meant to be..... I am really suprised that Marcel would have come to JP. I just don't understand his reasoning on this. Marcel now knows why Max left and is going to have to make some hard decisions but I would not think they would be too hard...

Just a couple of random thoughts on this one... You really are going to eat a huge meal right before an orgy??? Cody was right; Eric really views JP and Stef as women/submissives that he can use but they can't do anything without him... Stef's musing on that Cody should breed, wonder how long Mark was holding onto that one...

Damn, who knew that therapy could be such fun....

Well, I guess this explains why Greg wasn't so upset that he couldn't get it up with Stef; he had someone else in line to get off with. This really shocks me about Greg, I wonder if this was the first guy??? I sort of think it was, hard to keep a secret like that in a fishbowl like Hollywood...

Bruno is not going to be the first person to realize that Stef is not the person you want to screw over. With Stef, you won't end up dead like you might with JP over something serious; but Stef knows how to play the game and what buttons to push...

You know from the first moment we meet Cody, I just knew he was going to play a role for stories to come. There was just something about how he was written. Max was really suprised by his gift from Greg. He was really sweet and deserved something. Plus, this puts him on a more even keel with Marcel, at least to a point...

It is 09/11/13 today and it is sort of funny sad that I am reading in this chapter about the bombing in Oklahoma City on the anniversary of the 9/11 bombing in New York City... I truly don't understand how anyone can make a decision based on religion or anything else that gives them the idea that it is okay to just kill innocent people... On a lighter note, I just don't see JP and Stef being in a harem to the new guy...

Damn, I just love how Mark is able to pull those from the past into the storyline again and again. It is nice to see what happened to the kid that Stef saved all those years ago and returned to Mexico with a big chunk of money... I guess Stef invested in a mexian syndicate, but just didn't get any of the returns... LOL...

Damn, what is there about straight me and Stef. I know guys like that, they can seemingly attract the straightest guys in the world and convince them to take a walk on the wild side... I am glad that Lou seems to have found something for him that can take the place of the circuit parties...

What is it with Stef and JP both deciding to take such younger lovers for a summer or temporary fling? Is it just the need to feel loved and in control? JP and Marcel made a little more sense to me since they had so much in common intellectually but I have a harder time seeing Stef and Lou... I like getting even glimpses of the next generation. It make me realize that the saga will continue for a while...

Stef being around children always seems a little strange to me. i don't know why; he just doesn't seem the type to be able to relate to them. I have to wonder if Greg is really ready to leave or if he is just afraid of losing Stef? I have to wonder how long he will be able to stay gone???

It is funny to me that with all that he has accomplished, Stef still comes running to JP when he is down or needs to fix something. I wonder if he even realizes why he does it. Professor Whit does not sound like someone that JP would be deeply involved with. I have to wonder what the attraction is; or is Stef right and he is only with him to keep from being alone.

Mark, I just cannot say enough about how well written the last couple of chapters have been. With this one, the subtle way you have pulled us into the terror; the darkness of the staircase, the sudden lights in the face, the smoke and the heat, and finally the look of determination on the face of the firefighters as they went to their death.. Brad and Stef should be safe and have plenty of time to get away from the building. JP would be safe if he would move away and I hope he does so as they finish moving the triage area further away. Will, Darius, and Maddy should be safe. I am hoping that Robbie started back up and then just couldn't get back through the smoke and heat and had to head back down. If he made it through the area where the plane hit, he just would not have enough time to get back down before the building collapse at 9:59 a.m. Jeanine and Hank just waited to long. My one hope with Robbie is that I believe four people from above where the plane hit made it out. With Will, Darius, and Maddy going further down, I am sure they are three of the four and Robbie would make the fourth. We really haven't seen anyone else heading down; everyone else is going up. If Robbie doesn't make it; I don't know that Brad will ever fully recover. The loss of Robbie will just cause Brad to try and control things just that much more and I am afraid it will make his relationship with Will just that much harder. Robbie has always been the best person to in the end get Brad to see reason and release his need to control the situation. Without Robbie, there really isn't anyone else that does that with any degree of success. If Senator Danfield perished, at least he died happy... With the desk up against the wall, and the fact he was struck from the back; I would doubt that even if someone is trying to rescue those in his area that they could get into the office. I know that he might be dead but this section was written in such a manner that even if he does die; it sure had some comedic underpinnings. I am glad that Wade and his father have been able to repair so much of their relationship and they were in such a good place with each other. It is so hard when someone passes and there are unresolved issues; it often makes it so much more difficult for those that survive. Bravo, Mark, Bravo....

Well, Brad and Stef are safe. JP would be safe if he would get the hell away from the buildings. Will, Darius, and Maddy should be safe as well. You figure from the time that Robbie, Darius, and Will started in this chapter at 9:12 a.m. that at least 15 minutes had lapsed. That would put them close to 9:30 a.m. when Robbie started back up after Jeanine and Hank. That would mean he would have to catch up to them coming down and then the three of them would have to come the rest of the way down all in less than 30 minutes. Tower 2 fell at 9:59 a.m. and I just don't see how the Robbie, Jeanine, and Hank could make it down in that limited time frame. Senator Danfield is probably not going to make it either. If they had pushed a desk up against the door, and then were hit in the back, the door is probably blocked and even if people are trying to get others out; they probably cannot get into that room. Plus, depending on how close to the crash site the Senator and the guide were; they may have been killed instantly. I pray that I am wrong and Robbie, Jeanine, and Hank all make it out. If they don't, I don't think Brad will ever recover from losing Robbie. Robbie is the only one that has ever been able to restrain Brad when he goes too far out on a limb and pull him back in. Without Robbie around, Brad will have no one to offset his desire to control everything. On top of that, losing Robbie will just make him want to control everything more. While losing his father would hurt Matt, I am so glad that the Senator and him have been able to make so much progress in repairing their relationship and are now on so much better terms. It is so hard when someone passes and you don't have a chance to make peace with them... Great writing Mark, you just pulled us into the terror in such subtle little ways...

I want to take a moment and thank everyone that is posting their memories of that day on here. I know how hard it can be to relive them for some of you; but you just don't ever know when something you say will help someone else when dealing with something like this... I had an early morning meeting in Austin, Texas that day and was on my way to the office when the first plane struck. I had been listening to a transcript from a patient's session and so I did not have the radio on. Just as I walked into the office, the guard at the front desk had the TV going and was just yelling at it telling people to get out. He was so upset that it was as if he was really there and was yelling for the people in the building to get out while they could. I stopped to find out what was going on just in time to see the second plane hit Tower 2. I think like many people, my first reaction was horror for the lives that were lost or being lost; but part of me immediately went into planning mode knowing that this was going to be a trigger for some patients and that we needed to make sure we had everyone there to help those that reached out. I remember that I had no appointments that morning because of a scheduled meeting but that was soon cancelled and I had a patient in my office by 10:30 a.m. with issues relating to the planes hitting the building. It was after 8:00 p.m. before we had the offices shut down that night and we ran with extended hours for the next few days. I left for New York City the next week as part of a group that was called in to help with counseling of those that survived and well as those that lost someone in the tragedy. I hope I never have to go through something like that again...

Yea, it has always amazed me that those that rise up and throw out the aristocrats always seem so fascinated with the same people from other countries. Even in the United States, we have a long history of being fascinated by those with titles...

This is the first time that I have re-read this story since when it was first posted. I am so glad I started to go back and add the reviews. I liked this story so much more this time then the first time I read it. I know a lot of people talk about how this story just did not connect with them but I found it really well done and enjoyable this time around... Well done, Mark....

I have never understood those parents that just did everything to keep their children from growing up and becoming independent individuals... I see it all the time and they always have these great reasons that make no sense at all...

Well, Max is free of Lark but went straight into another relationship. I don't ever think this is really a smart move but I can always hope for the best... Lark just needs to be in control and the fact that he isn't in control of any aspect of his life is one of the chief reasons that he treats anyone he is with the way he does... I hope he gets some help but he would have to admit he needed it first... Lou was telling the truth. He is the kind of guy that will take anything from Marcel but would never really do anything to hurt him. He knows what he is doing is wrong but he just can't help it...

Is there anything more exciting and yet scary then that first few thrilling days of a new relationship???

Damn, Marcel should have been much more careful. E is one of those drugs that just sneaks up on you and you really need to be with people you trust when you take it... Max is about to get rid of Lark or Marcel will get rid of him for him...