Little Billy Jokes
(older than I am and just as crazy)
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Little BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
"One day little Billy was at home bugging his mother as she tried to do house work. Exasperated, she tells him, "Billy, why don't you go watch the house builders next door, maybe you will learn something". So Billy goes next door to watch the construction crew.
When Billy comes home a few hours later his mom says, "So Billy, what happened at the building site?"
Billy replies, "Well, first we put the goddamn door up, but the son of a bitch wouldn't fit, so we took the cock-sucker down, shaved a pussy hair off each side, and then put the mother-f--ker back up again!"
Billy's Mom is shocked and sends him to his room to wait till his Dad gets home. When Dad comes home and hears what happened he goes up to Billy's room, and asks Billy what he said. So Billy repeats the whole thing again.
Billy's Dad is really angry and says, "Billy, go bring me a switch!"
To which Billy says, "Get f--ked! That's the Electricians job!""
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
In school Mrs. Rogers was playing a word game with the kids.
She would shout out a letter and then pick on a student, and the student would pick a word that starts with the letter.
Mrs. Rogers said the letter "B" and Little Billy raised his hand.
Since Mrs. Rogers thought he'd say bitch She called on Sally instead. Sally said Ball
Mrs. Rogers said the letter "P", and Little Billy raised his hand again.
Since Mrs. Rogers thought he'd say Pussy, she called on Frank, who said paper.
Finally, Mrs. Rogers said the letter "R", and again Little Billy raised his hand.
Mrs. Rogers couldn't think of a bad word that started with "R" so she picked Johnny.
Johnny hesitated and said "Rat" .... "A Big Mother Fucking Rat with a dick this big."