JamesSavik

First you want to get married. Now you want kids. You guys are going to completely and totally screw up being gay.

This is where the war is. This is where my lovers and friends are buried. The problem with a war is that after you've been in it so long, there's nothing left of you and there's nowhere you are fit to be. That's why I started writing my story Broken but it got to a point to where I couldn't face it anymore. I didn't really mean to piss in the punch-bowl but a lot of people seem to have forgotten what its all about. My story is a 70s era horror story and I doubt it would be tolerated anywhere in the US today but people still suffer because they are GLBT. People still give into the despair. Suicide is still one of our biggest killers. I see a shrink once a month and go to 12 step meetings a couple of times a week.

Don't forget the fruitbowl.

Being gay does not cause depression. The abuse you take for being gay causes anger which eventually becomes depression.

There's so much to love about being gay. I am older than the average user here and from a place that a little less gay-friendly than say maybe Iran so maybe I'm a little screwed up in my thinking. I didn't have the luxery of waiting to come out. I was outed at 13 before I was even sure what a homosexual was. So let's work through the joy shall we? I loved hearing my mother cry and my Dad beating my ass when they found out. I was thrilled when people I thought were my friends turned on my like a pack of wild jackels. I was exillerated when adults I didn't even know set the dogs after me when they saw me coming [which might explain why I hate f*ing dogs]. School was always a joy when the staff ignored what was going on but suspended me when I gave some of it back. All of the cheap shots and harrassment were always a joy playing sports. I loved seeing the people close to me taking crap just because they stood by me. Seeing people that you've known for years walk away without even saying goodbye. Having people call you names that you don't even know is always a joy. Being accused of being a devil worshiper always gives you a warm feeling. Getting told that if you are a f*ing faggot all you can ever hope to be is a prostitute or a bartender is always good for a kid. Getting told that you are damned for all of eternity for being a fag is so liberating. Once you're damned what else can they do to you? The constant harrassment: eg. personal items stolen, destroyed, tires cut, etc always reminds you that people are thinking of you. One of my favorites is the sudden, random extreme violence that would leave me either in the hospital or suspened from school or arrested. Oh yeah- I almost forgot the motherf*king cops who would arrest me for bullshite, then tell me they would let me go for a blow job and then leave me 30 miles out in the country. How endearing is that. Then the people that you love give into the pain, renounce their sexuality and go to some X-gay quack and have their heads completely screwed up. Others that can't handle the pain put a gun in their mouth and blow their brains out. Such sweet memories. I really love how when you snap and retaliate for all the crap you are taking, YOU are the criminal! When they throw you in jail, they let everybody know you are queer so you either have to f**K everybody in the joint or kick their ass. Ahh my teen aged memories, aren't they f*king sweet? As an adult, it not as intense but its still there. Being fired for no apparent reason. Taking any oppertunity that you can get because they don't come along that often. Given the shittiest work so you'll quit. It all gives me a warm feeling... like I need to puke. Best of all after years of abuse needing constant psychiatric care and having to pay for it. Yeah. It's a f**king joy to be gay. In my next lifetime I hope they are more humane and just shoot me instead of leaving me with all of this broken glass in my soul to sort out.

Relax Razor. Hot, sweaty men is a big time fetish in the gay community. (although you're still just a pup)

I write what I write and reader reaction is completely incidental. Usually my work is already written and changes due to reader feedback would cause a rewrite so no- it isn't going to happen.

I like to moon the ex, maybe give them a fruitbowl to remind them what they are missing. Oh yeah- its always a classic move to slap your buttcheeks during the adios mooning to send them on their way.

Take heart NJ! Selling Barak bin Obama to the democratic party elites in the primaries was a picnic. Selling him to the Red states, an impossibility. No amount of money is going to make any difference. Democrats have once again elected a Republican president by forwarding an unelectable candidate.

As long as you don't smell like a goat or a dog...

At $30/hr, give me problems.

A few weeks ago I signed on as a Field Engineer with a big company that does something mysterious called Systems Integration for other big companies. Yesterday I got my first job- it was supposed to be an easy 3 hour trip with the most hazardous thing being tracing and labeling wires. I showed up at 9:40pm just before quitting time and began to prepare for my nights work but something was very wrong- the new equipment hadn't been installed and was still sitting in boxes. Suddenly my 3 hour job turned into maybe 10 hours. I took BEFORE pictures to document the condition of the work site. I called the project coordinator Kim and told her what was up and she was all for calling it off and reorganizing. I said, no need, I can handle it. So we shut down the stores network and all of its equipment. I installed the new UPS and 3 power strips with UPS power and one power strip with generator power. I then went about taming the wire monster: the rats nest that occurs in network ops centers when people aren't watching what they are doing. Took a while but by using cable ties and the wiring management stuff that had never neen installed I got things under control. Then I labeled the power cords red for UPS power, yellow for generator. Then I strted the process of restarting the network which is a sequence: start device A & B, wait until they boot, start devices C, D & E, wait until they boot, etc. While I was doing that, I swept, vacumed and dusted the network ops center. By 7:00am the store network was back up, the network ops center was cleaned up and actually cooler since I had moved some equipment around to improve airflow. I take my AFTER pictures and go home. I then write emails to my boss and the project coordinator with before & after pictures to document my work and explain any changes that I had made. Finally I go to bed and pass out until ~2:00 this afternoon. I wake up to find this echange between my boss Karen and Kim the project coordinator for corperate giant retailer: Kim: Where did you find James? That guy is hell on wheels. Karen: Isn't he though. It's hard to tell that's the same NOC in those pictures. Kim: Some of those changes he made are going corperate wide. Can we have him for the rest of our Mississippi stores? Karen: We'll have to see how his schedule works out.... Next week: Tupelo, Meridian, Greenwood, Greenville, Indianolia Week after: Hattiesburg, Biloxi, Pascagoula, Gulfport and Bay St. Louis...

All things in moderation. You wouldn't want some jackass to shoot you with a silver bullet but I doubt you would want to look like Dr. Xavier...

What a cute English laddie! Looks like on heck of a party.

I like turn based strategy games like Civilization, Alpha Centuri or Steel Panthers. Real time games are a pain because it is so hard to keep track of everything that is going on. In turn based games you can develop a plan and execute it. Real time games seem chaotic and confusing. I could never get into them.

In my area, the only venue available is the bar/pick up places. Mississippi culture doesn't exactly foster openness about being gay. In most towns, the city (mayor, city council) gives the cops a hunting license and its open season on any business that cater to gay patrons. Those businesses are harassed out of town. I don't have a clue where all these nice people you guys keep talking about hang out. Probably why I frequent GA is that I'm trying to figure that out.

Kevin- That's just so much bull. Gays are the catty-est, most clan-ish and shallowest people on the planet. If you don't look and dress just right, the guys in the bar won't talk to you. If you're a little too old, you are automatically a troll. The quality of your character is irrelevent unless you are hot and under 25. That unity of the oppressed thing is a big, smelly crap-burger. There are a lot of gay people out there that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. I don't want to even be remotely associated with them not because of my internalized homophobia but because they are assholes.

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By Jove I think he's got it. Vanna, tell GaryInMinami what he's won. "GaryInMiami will recieve this lovely set of feather boa, this personal dungeon set by Ronco, leatherware for all occassions, a gold series gimp mask from Leather Expressions and a years supply of KY jelly in the industrial vat size!"

As you might imagine, those of us that live here in the South have a rather unique way of saying things. I decided to save some authentic 70s Southern Slang with the assistance of the good folks at the urban dictionary. I'm doing my part to perserve a rich but vanishing heiratage that most yuppies have forgotten now because they were too f**ked up at the time to remember them. You know- the same retarded hypocritical assholes who declared war on drugs and probably still have bong tar stains on their old albums. Without further comment, A 70s Flashback organ-spasm 15 thumbs up, 6 thumbs down A mind-blowing, earth-shaking orgasm so intense that you never forget it. It must be something of a religious experience as most people shout, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!". Holy crap Jessie can give great head. That was an organ-spasm I'll never forget. try-sexual 20 thumbs up, 11 thumbs down A young guy that is such a horn dog that he will try most anything sexual. My buddy Shawn is a try-sexual: he f**ked his girlfrind Mandy and her fag-hag buddy Travis. leg hound 17 thumbs up, 1 thumbs down 1. a male dog the humps your leg 2. a young man with a powerful sex drive that will f**K anybody, anything, anytime, anywhere. 1. What could be more awkward than meeting your girlfriends parents with their damned leg hound humping and nutting on your shin. 2. Jesus Shawn! I can understand f**king a fag-hag like Jamie but did you have to f**K her buddy Travis too? lunker 19 thumbs up, 3 thumbs down An enormous turd left in an unflushed toilet. Oh my Gawd Shawn? Did you leave this lunker in the toilet? It's got to be at least 17 inches. mall troll 14 thumbs up 0 thumbs down Fat 40ish closet queens, possibly a republican congressman or TV evangalist, who hang out in malls trying to pick up boys and young men. In a vice sweep last week, the police arrested a dozen mall trolls including a preacher, city councleman and a man waiting while his family bought back to school clothes at Sears hobby homo 13 thumbs up 0 thumbs down A man who is not gay per see and is apparently heterosexual for all intents and purposes but occassionally enjoys sex with other men. Sam is a hobby homo. He likes pussy but says that gay guys give much better head. queer as a football bat 11 up, 1 down Describes a flamboyant homosexuals manner and dress. Origin: 70's slang, South Eastern US. Oh Jeff is queer as a football bat but he's so nice most people don't care. Brought to you by the Seventies Preservation Society. If you were at the party, you probably can't remember it but you still have the herpes to remind you.

Ugh... it not just gross, it's deeply disturbing to go to the toilet and see a big old lunker stairing up at you.

Comsie Dude- Relax, have fun, recharge: you've earned a break. Smart move to take it now rather than to wait until high summer while everthing is roasting. Want any tomatoes? I should have some ripe about the time you get back. James

I believe that particular bimbo was a member of the Oklahoma state house. Although I have no doubt that there are those in the House and Senate who feel that way, to get to and stay in those august bodies they have to be politically astute enough to know what to say out loud and when to smile and nod.

I don't know why people feel compelled to behave outragously during pride parades- maybe it's because Pride gives people a chance to let their hair down. The fact is that people who never act bizarre pick Pride parades to go freak bezerk. You know that the regular media is going to show the most sensationalistic coverage that they can possibly find. That's just a given. People like Pat Robinson always have cameras there to show middle america what gays are like when they are off their leash. There's a clip that they show over and over on the 700 club of a bunch of drag queen Nuns called Sister Boom-boom and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgance. Yeah it funny and I can appreciate the irony but it makes Mr & Mrs. Middle America go pale, shut the blinds and cancle their cable.

Like you two I couldn't possibly care less if a celeb is gay. I just wish they would keep it to themselves if they are going to be an embarrassment.