JamesSavik

They are our state bird. You have to keep moving or swarms of them will carry you off.

The Mississippi Delta is famous for three things: arable lands with soil that can grow almost anything, the Blues, and unless you are used to it, summer heat and humidity that is indescribable.

To explore Uranus, wear a suit. Uranus is gassy with smelly hydrocarbons. Uranus and Neptune: two gassy twins.

Uranus has spots and hurricane winds. Not a garden spot for vacationing.

@ReaderPaul Here. I'll try 7 words. When you care to send the best, Don't be cheap like all the rest. Don't send C-4, Semtex, Octal, or Cordite, Nuke'em from orbit and bask in light. It's the only way to be sure, For pesky aliens, it is the cure.

Antimatter in hand, ready to party. Jesus, you Space Marines are nuts. You have to be to join. It says so in the contract.

Some of the old progressive rock I like intones complex and subtle themes that were never attempted before or since. Those aren’t just dusty albums in my collection, its a little slice of a unique time and culture.

Earth is a zoo for aliens. They laugh at the monkey house.

He can not be an alien. He is never at our meetings.

Local car advertisements are a good example of some of the best kitsch ever.

You might think my 2003 Toyota Tacoma is a jalopy, but as long as I keep the hamsters happy, it's dependable, runs well, and it's paid for.

I am wracked with incertitude when it comes to tax preparation. I'll happily pay for someone else to handle the paperwork for Uncle Sam's protection racket.

The reason I'm dog-tired, and my feet hurt, is pellucid: I am doing a spring-cleaning from the floorboards to the rafters. No dust particle will escape unaccosted!

We had a terrible tornado that ran through Mississippi two weeks ago Friday. Many talk babblers have attributed this to climate change. It's not. The South and Mid-West are prone to seasonal tornado outbreaks. It seems worse because our population is denser. Tornadoes that used to blow down trees out in the country are more apt to hit something now. The Rolling Fork tornado isn't even the worst tornado in our state's history. In 1966, an EF-5 destroyed a large swath of South Jackson, killed three scores of people and went as far as Alabama. That's NOT climate change. It's seasonal weather for our region. Candlestick Park Tornado Outbreak, 1966 If you are thinking holy shit, how do you live with that, think it through. Every part of our planet is prone to some sort of some natural calamity. Sure, the really horrific ones like asteroid impacts and tsunamis are extremely rare, but they can happen. The West Coast has earthquakes, wildfires and sleeping supervolcanos. The East Coast has ancient earthquake faults that quiver sporadically and if the Cumbre Vieja Volcano were to blow, everyone from Florida to Maine might surf to the Midwest. Life is not a safe condition. Live it well. It can end instantly with no warning. Is that a tornado siren? DOH!

Isn't lawyer French for con artist? No one I know has had a satisfactory experience with the pettifogging scammers.

There's really only one way to eat oysters. Most times the sides are lemon juice and horseradish, and you basically swallow them. It takes a little courage the first time, but they are delicious.

Siamese cats are known for being gregarious clowns.

Pants drooping low and boxers pulled high is de rigueur for saggers. Sometimes what masquerades for fashion just looks silly.

I swear, if peoples brains were fields, way too many of them are fallow.

*Whistling, twiddling my thumbs.*