The Strange Life of Jonas Marks - 3. Chapter 3

If I wasn’t nervous before, pulling into the parking lot was enough to make my stomach do somersaults without me. There was valet parking and six security guards moving around the lot, not to mention the police officer that was stationed here and paid by Kroger’s, just in case. Then here I was with a second hand Elantra that was already twelve years old when I bought it. Compared to the collection of high end cars already there, I was hopelessly out classed. I parked next to a Jag, the cheapest car I could find, and I was certain I was watched all the way to the door. I’d heard friends say that they had butterflies when they got nervous, but what I felt wasn’t the wings of a butterfly, maybe a razor instead.

If seeing the rich cars scared me, walking through the doors of Kroger’s Emporium nearly had me puking. The inside of the place was huge. No matter where I looked there was white marble, soft lighting, and the scent of money seemed to fill the air. I mean, some of the ‘smaller’ items for sale included a case that held platinum cigarette lighters, a diamond encrusted nail clipper, and small podium that held a book labeled Titled Lands for Sale. I felt like what I was, a poor kid in a rich store. Hell, even the janitor looked more upscale then I did when he walked by in dark blue uniform with gold cording down the pant’s leg. A security guard approached me while I stood staring like an idiot just a few feet in the front door.

“May I help you, Sir?”

The look he gave me, made me feel like hell, but I needed this job. I couldn’t give up without trying, this was too important. I took a deep breath, met his gaze, and nodded.

“I was looking for the Fantasy Office. I have an appointment with Mr. Openseter for a job.”

His shocked expression was understandable. Here I was in a Wal-mart dress shirt among staff that looked they bought their clothing off a runway model. Who was I kidding? I could never really get a job here.

“Yes, Sir.” Sir? I hadn’t expected that, maybe shown to the door, but that, apparently, wasn’t happening. “Go through the door behind jewelry counter. You’ll see a green line on the floor. Follow it to Mr. Openseter’s office. Good luck.”

I nodded trying to keep his directions straight in my head. I felt out of place, but knew if I wanted this job I had to act like I belonged. Walking past jewelry counter, I came to a small blue door and I could see a green line that went right under it. I followed the line, opening the door without knocking. I hurried down the hallway and eventually came up to a door that read Mr. Openseter – Fantasy Department Manager. I took a look at my watch which read one minute to six and knocked.

“Come in, Mr. Marks,” rasped the same deep voice I’d heard on the phone.

The man inside the office was not exactly what I was expecting. I mean how often do you walk into an office and find a cross between a man and a dragon seated behind a desk? Well that is how he seemed to me and I’m assuming anyone else who met him. Mr. Openseter was nearly 7’ tall with deep red hair that seemed to have scales in it. His eyes were like a cat’s, only purple with an indigo ring around them. He was pale but there was this sort of orange-red hue to his hands and let me just say he had some wicked looking silver finger nails. I think I might have gone into shock for a moment.

Mr. Openseter moved out from around his desk and I could tell from the way his suit fit him that he was thin and muscular. He smiled and held out his hand. I blinked and shook his outstretched hand feeling like I had walked into some strange movie set. His hand was cool and sort of scaly, but like I said, I really needed this job. For all I cared this could have all been Halloween makeup or he could like to walk around nude, it really didn’t matter, I needed this job and his being different wasn’t going to stop me. The only that was bothered me about the situation was the heat - I was starting to sweat like mad.

“Well you didn’t scream or run,” Mr. Openseter’s voice rumbled across the small space. “That’s different.”

I tilted my head up so I could look him in his purple eyes. I stood at five-ten, I wasn’t short, but this man made me feel like a munchkin.

“Are you in shock, Mr. Marks?”

“No” I shook my head as much to show him I wasn’t, as to clear my thoughts. “Just curious as to why you, um, sorry there’s no polite way to put this, look so different, Mr. Openseter?” Another one of those wonderful moments when my mouth is engaged but my mind isn’t. So much for clearing my mind! I swear I really have to do something about blurting out whatever comes to mind.

“Honest as well I see. Well that is because I am different, Mr. Marks. That difference is what is going to make this department work so well.”

Mr. Openseter pointed to the chair in front of his desk and took the one opposite it. Even sitting down I had to look up to him. All I kept thinking was ‘You need this job so don’t blow it’.

“May I ask what exactly you need of me?”

“Okay, let us get business out of the way.” Mr. Openseter moved some papers out of the way and then nodded. “If you’re hired your job will not be too complex. There’s a very special computer in the Fantasy Office. Your job is to input what our clients are looking for. We’ll be running a very exclusive department for Kroger’s. In fact, the whole department will consist of me and my assistant. Now, we don’t promise that we’ll be able to deliver all requests but if we can, we will contact the customer. Some of our customers are looking for objects and others,” Mr. Openseter paused and seemed to be searching for words. “Well, some are searching for people.”

“Um, I know Kroger’s is upscale but I didn’t know they dealt in slavery.” I sat there feeling like my stomach was about to revolt. I thought I had just blown the whole thing.

Mr. Openseter stared at me a moment. When he started to laugh, it scared me. It took a few moments for him to stop before he shook his head as he looked at me with an expression of amusement.

“No, Mr. Marks, we don’t deal in slavery. All of our people are also looking for something specific. If it happens that they both match up we attempt to set it up for them.”

“Oh, so you collect objects and run a dating service?” I was trying hard to figure out exactly what this job was really about, but maybe I should just excuse myself and get out of here.

Mr. Openseter smiled, which oddly put me at ease, and I sat there waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Yes. That is more or less what we will do in this department. You’ll handle all of the incoming merchandise and, as you put it, the ‘dating service.’ You’ll have your own office where you’ll do most of your work. However, your office has a special door, one that will only open into your office. Basically, Mr. Marks, it’s a one way door. People who come through it will be,” he paused and really seemed to look me over before continuing, “different like me. When they come through you are to call me immediately.”

“Yes, Sir. I can do that.” That didn’t seem hard.

“Good. In addition to some basic typing, you will need to file all of the orders for the day in the file cabinets in your office before you leave. Your hours are basically nine am to five pm., but there will be days when special arrangements will be needed. You will need to be flexible and come in as required. That is not negotiable, but I promise that you’ll be compensated for the trouble. The job comes with full health benefits, vacation time, and stock sharing.”

“I got the job?”I’m not sure why I sounded so shocked, he’d been speaking as if the job were mine already.

He nodded and smiled at me. “Yes.”

Mr. Openseter stood up and moved to the other side of his desk. He opened a folder lying on top and began to fill out page after page of forms. Eventually he turned and motioned me over.

“Mr. Marks this is an application form for my department. You’ll find it is very thorough but please don’t skip any part of it. The top sheet has your basic information and the salary you will be drawing. Please look it over and let me know if you have any objections before we continue.”

The only thing I noticed immediately was the salary. There was this little line at the top that read ‘per hour.’ On that line Mr. Openseter had written down $21.00. My eyes went wide and I breathing for a moment. How many kids get hired right out of high school for twenty one dollars an hour?

“N … n … o,” I managed to say, my voice barely audible. “Everything is good.”

Mr. Openseter nodded his head.

“Then please fill out all the forms you find in the folder. When you’re done, go back into the hallway, turn right, and follow it to the end where you will find the human relations department. Simply ask for Ms. White and give her the completed forms. Wednesday is when the store does its orientations, you can start work then.”

I stood quietly, unsure what had just happened. I came in not sure what to expect, but now I had a job. Not just any job either, but a job at Krogers for twenty-one bucks an hour! I listened as Mr. Openseter phoned someone and informed them that he had found his assistant and that I would be down shortly to file my papers.

“I have a few things to check on, Mr. Marks.” Mr. Openseter’s voice caught me off guard and I realized I was still standing like an idiot in front of his desk, staring blankly at the papers he had handed me. “If you finish before I leave, don’t worry about locking up my office. It can take care of itself.”

He handed me a gold pen and motioned toward a small desk in the corner of his office, then left. Alone, I began to go through the papers. I’d never seen such thick sheets of paper, it wasn’t surprising, this was Kroger’s after all, and they did everything first class.

On the first sheet, in gold writing it read, ‘For Fantasy Office Use Only’ in bold letters across the top. It was pretty much a standard application form which I’d filled out many times before. There were questions about my age, height, weight, and what schools I attended. There were questions on community involvement, school involvement, and plans for future education.

The rest of the application, however, was like nothing I’d ever seen before. I mean there were dozens of other questions about my likes in movies, books, favorite TV show, any special hobbies, was I vegetarian, and even whether I was a day or night person. Answering them all honestly took some time, what was my favorite movie? I couldn’t believe they asked such personal questions on a standard job application, but I quickly dismissed my worries. Aside from being ecstatic that I had a job, this was Krogers; they didn’t do things like other places.

It was the last question on the final page though that really shocked me. I mean I dropped the pen and had to read it twice. I was sure it was illegal to ask if you liked men, women, or both on a job application. I was going to leave it blank, forcing them to ask me in person just so I could be sure if it was legal, when I read the second part, ‘and do they have to be human?’

Human? I realized it had to be a joke and sat there smiling. Mr. Openseter had a quirky sense of humor. I answered it honestly, stating I preferred males and just to be a smart ass, I said ‘no’ to the second part. If he was going to have fun with me, I could return the favor.

That being the last question, I slid everything back into the folder and left Mr. Openseter’s office. I followed his directions and quickly located the Human Relations Office. The second I opened the door a small woman with huge eye glasses came rushing over.

“Are you from the Fantasy office?” She eyed me up and down, as if I were some strange object.

“Um, yes.” I took a step back. The only time I got this close to someone was when I was wrestling and it felt wrong. “Mr. Openseter told me to come here and hand in my application when I finished filling it out. I just need to find Ms. White.”

“Didn’t think he was going to find anyone,” the woman muttered almost as if she had forgotten I was standing right in front of her.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, sorry, that was rude.” She took a step back and looked me over again. “Opie called to let me know how many inquiries he received. You were his twentieth appointment today, but he wasn’t sure he would find anyone this soon.” She broke into a wide smile. “But, I guess you passed his interview. Oh, and you can give those papers to me, I’m Miss White.”

He had twenty interviews today alone? I felt like I had just won the state championship by getting the job. My day had just gotten even better, if that were possible. “Oh, I’m sorry. Here are the forms.”

“Did Mister Openseter tell you when your orientation would be?”

“Wednesday.”

“Hm, of course it is.” Miss White shook her head and adjusted her glasses. “He has no idea what I need to do before someone can attend an orientation.”

Her comment worried me, and my good mood faded a bit. She stood and opened the folder, quickly scanning the pages. I needed the job, but I needed it today, not a week from now.

“Well, that is not your concern.” Miss White smiled at me, easing my fears. “Okay, Mr. Jonas Marks, I’ll see you here at my office on Wednesday at nine a.m. sharp! Orientation is a three hour class but you’ll be paid for the whole day. Your job with Mr. Openseter will begin on Thursday.” I turned to go but before I could move one step, she said, “One thing.” Ms. White was staring at my feet.

“Yes, Miss White.” I looked down and gulped loudly.

“Get some dress shoes, Mr. Marks. Black sneakers just won’t do.”

I nodded and blushed. In my excitement to make the interview in time, I had forgotten to change into my dress shoes. I carefully closed the door and tried to walk out of the store as calmly as I could.

“Yes!” I was screaming at the top of lungs as I got to my car. Tonight I would have some fantastic news to tell Jenny and her family. I had a job.