Standing In Shadows - 14. Chapter 14

SIS 14

The next morning, Dad pounded on my door. Before I had time to groan he had barrelled into my room. I put my pillow over my head, but he ripped it off. I looked up at him and he already had his arms crossed. I wondered what I possibly could have done wrong over night. I didn’t come home drunk and he didn’t notice who had dropped me off, since Clinton didn’t stay long at all. I barely got out of the truck before he had to leave to keep from getting into trouble with his parents.

“Why in hell is Jenny standing in our living room with a dog?” Dad asked, his voice strained. He was trying to find a happy medium between a yell and a whisper. So she wouldn’t hear him and I know that he means business.

“Because she gave me one,” I said, totally forgetting about the small fuzzy spotted brown dog. I did notice the vein pop out on his forehead.

“Well you tell her to take it back, you don’t need a dog,” He said and I looked down, rolling my eyes so he didn’t notice. I grabbed a pair of shorts and slid them on over my underwear and got out of bed. I passed him in my small room, but I could feel his breath on my neck as we walked down the hall. “Your mom is allergic to them things!”

“I wouldn’t know,” I answered as I entered the living room. The puppy was squirming to get out of Jenny’s hands. She put her down and she came bouncing up to me. Like before she licked my toes, then looked up at me. I didn’t dare reach down and pet her though.

“Well you do now,” he hissed, then walked around me to smile at Jenny. “I got the lazy ass up.”

“Oh,” she said, laughing. “Sorry, I should have called.”

“No, this is better,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Her stuff is out in the car,” Jenny said still looking at my Dad.

“I’m sorry to tell you this Jenny, but Corey can’t keep her, you see his mother is allergic,” Dad explained. Jenny looked at me, but I shrugged my shoulders. It was the first time that excuse for me not being able to have a dog has come up. Usually he just told me no and Mom couldn’t say anything to convince him otherwise.

“Has Mom left for work yet?” I asked, but the sun was already taking over the sky so I knew the answer.

“Not everyone can be a lazy ass all day like you,” Dad growled, “it’s damn near noon.”

“Sorry,” I said, “I got in late.”

“Well Jenny said you spent all day with her,” Dad said, “so I’ll overlook it this time.”

Then Mom surprised everyone by walking through the front door holding something wrapped in plastic. She still had her work apron and hair net on. She was dealing with the lunch hour by now, but she smiled at everyone, not knowing what she just walked in on.

“How is everyone?” She asked walking over to where Dad was standing. “I brought your sandwich honey.”

“Thanks Cora,” he said as he took it. Mom looked down after the puppy let out a low whine. She was scratching me with her small toe nails, but I didn’t want to pay any attention to her with Dad in the room.

“What a cute puppy,” Mom said, looking over at Jenny. “Is she your dog?”

“I don’t know,” Jenny said standing on her tip toes, fidgeting with her hands. Mom always seemed to make Jenny nervous, more so than Dad. She could deal with Dad, all he ever did was push Jenny towards me or give her compliments before insulting me. Mom on the other hand, always talked to Jenny like any other person. Not a high school cheerleader. When Mom reached down to pick up the pup, I saw the look of shock cross Dad’s face. He flushed, shooting me a look daring me to say anything.

“Dad was just telling us that you were allergic to dogs,” I said feeling the pain of his elbow digging into my side. I winced but didn’t rub the soreness.

“No, I’m not allergic,” she said eyeing Dad with her suspicious smile.

“The puppy is for me,” I said, “Jenny rescued them from a box on the side of the road.”

“That’s good of her,” Mom said turning to smile at Jenny.

“Yeah it is,” I said before Dad could say anything, I could tell he was itching to get in his argument before I did. “I helped her with them all day yesterday and Jenny is trying to find all of them homes, but this one likes me.”

“All puppies act that way,” Dad dismissed, waving his hand at the puppy when it turned towards him, smelling the sandwich in his hand.

“I thought Corey would like her,” Jenny offered and Mom let the puppy lick her cheek. She laughed handing the puppy over to me. I finally got to hold her, which made the puppy happy as she tried to get to my face. I closed my eyes, letting her get a few licks in on my cheek before she was satisfied to just lay in my arms.

“I don’t see why he can’t have a dog,” Mom said, “it looks like he won’t be too busy now anyway.”

“Cora!” Dad groaned, “I know he can’t keep the dog.”

“Oh do you,” Mom said crossing her arms, ready to hear Dad’s side of the argument. She winked at me, which made Dad’s face redden more and the vein seemed to pulse now.

“I’ll be the one taking care of the shit eater for starters,” Dad said, “since Corey can’t seem to wake up until Noon.”

“It is the summer and he was out late,” Mom countered, “he is a very responsible, he’ll take care of it.”

“We don’t have the money to waste on it,” Dad said ignoring Mom completely, hoping the money factor will sway her.

“We feed you, don’t we?” Mom asked, “I don’t think a little dog can out eat you.”

I noticed Jenny chewing on her lip to keep from laughing, but I couldn’t hold it back. Dad shot me a glare, but I ignored him. He wasn’t done, but I knew I didn’t want to make things worse.

“That’s not the point Cora,” Dad said his voice always gentle, but strained when he was arguing with Mom. “He’ll be in school, you’ll be at work, and the Pup will be here all day destroying the house.”

“Oh, he can drop her off at my house before school, its on the way,” Jenny said, “our back yard is fenced as you know, she can play with my dogs.”

“Thank you Jenny, that’s a good idea,” Mom said turning to look at Dad.

“How about college then,” Dad said and this time I did frown. “He will be off to college and the dog is young, and he won’t be able to take care of her then.”

“Then she’ll help me with missing my little baby when he’s gone,” Mom said and I felt my face get hot. Jenny laughed, but Dad let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine you two keep the dog,” Dad said, “but Corey your ass will replace everything it chews up with your own money.”

“Then it is settled then, I can get back to work,” Mom said walking over to the kitchen sink. She scrubbed her hands then kissed Dad on the cheek. He was sweating and his face was still flushed. He grunted his goodbye, then walked over to the table to fix his plate for his sandwich. Mom kissed me on the cheek then patted Jenny on the shoulder as she walked by. She waved and told us to have a good day before she disappeared out the front door and walked back over to the store.

“Corey could you help me bring in the rest of her things?” Jenny asked and I nodded and put the puppy down. She followed us outside to Jenny’s car. I grabbed the dog food and Jenny grabbed the bag with all of the toys and leashes she bought me.

“Dad’s tummy saved us,” I said and Jenny laughed.

“I know!” She said, “I didn’t think he was going to let you keep her.”

“I’m surprised Mom allowed it this time, I’ve asked a lot for a pet,” I said and Jenny looked down at my arm in the cast.

“Well you aren’t working at the store and you can’t play football next season,” Jenny said, “she probably thinks you need something to take your mind off things.”

“Yeah,” I said, not telling Jenny about Dad already planning to make me learn how to throw with my other hand. I wasn’t looking forward to summer drills.

After we got her settled in my room, her food and toys is when I got nervous with having Jenny in my room. It was the first time anyone other than my two best friends have been in the room. It was small compared to Jenny’s guest rooms. The bed nearly took up all of the space and there was only a small pathway for me to walk to the closet and dresser where my clothes are. I’ve stubbed my toes many times on the bed post as I passed. Jenny being in the room made it a lot smaller though. I watched her eyes take it all in. We both seemed to notice the pair of dirty boxer briefs by the end of the bed at the same time. We both flushed, but then the dog got our attention, appearing from under my bed with an old sock that had probably been under there for years.

“Give me that, you,” I said grabbing at the sock, but she held on and started growling. After a brief game I finally was able to get the sock away. I tossed it in the small trash can beside my tiny homework desk. “Sorry about the mess.”

“What mess?” Jenny said shrugging her shoulders. She didn’t move from the middle of the cramped room. I could tell she felt out of place.

“I know I don’t have a lot of space to move,” I said and she offered me a small smile. It made me feel uneasy, like she was judging me for what I didn’t have. For the small room compared to her room and Clinton’s, if I could imagine it, and then the room Cj would have. I didn’t fit in with that side of town and the expression on her face was making that plainly obvious.

“It’s a nice room,” she said, but there wasn’t any validity in her voice. She was trying to break the awkward silence.

“No its not,” I countered my face getting hotter by the second. “You probably have a television and a computer in your room all I have is football trophies.”

“Well you’re good at football,” she said looking at my trophies on a shelf that Dad fixed beside the small window that overlooks the small side yard.

“You can’t watch television on a football trophy,” I said and she frowned. I was standing in her way, so she couldn’t bolt if she wanted to. I wanted her out of the room too. I couldn’t even figure out why I was getting angry with her, but I was.

“I don’t watch a lot of television,” she said, “what’s wrong with you anyway?”

“If I didn’t play football would you be standing here right now?” I asked, ignoring her question.

“But you kind of do play Corey,” she answered, “and yeah I would be, since you’re kind of in my way.”

“If you were in Cj’s room you could just walk around me,” I snapped flopping down on the bed.

“I don’t see why you care whose room I’m in,” Jenny whispered crossing her arms. “And yeah, if Cj was acting like an ass I would leave his room too.”

“I saw the way you looked at the room Jenny,” I said, “not good enough for you.”

“No Corey,” she countered, “I was thinking it isn’t good enough for you.”

“What does that mean?” I asked and she pushed my feet out of her way and sat down on the bed to face me.

“I meant you’re probably a lot nicer than a lot of people,” she answered looking down at her fingers. “And you have a lot less than you deserve.”

“Nice?” I scoffed, “That doesn’t make people rich.”

“I know,” Jenny hissed glaring at me. “Maybe if your Mom didn’t quit being a teacher and her weekend job at the hospital...”

“Not this again Jenny,” I interrupted, “the store makes us money.”

“No it doesn’t,” Jenny countered and I let out a breath. She clasped her hand over her mouth then looked towards the open door ready to run. I didn’t know what she meant by that, of course the store was making money. It had always made money.

“You know something I don’t?” I asked leaning in closer on the bed. We could hear Dad reading through the newspaper at the kitchen table. He could easily overhear what we were talking about in this small house.

“Cj’s dad has been pressuring your mom to sell and you know my Aunt is president of the bank,” Jenny whispered, “your mom took out loans so that she could pay the mechanics, to restock the shelves, and to pay the taxes on the house.”

“So?” I said wanting her to continue. The news had my stomach twisted in a knot and I wanted her to finish telling me, so that I could think on it all at one time.

“Also, she’s been late on a few loan payments,” Jenny responded, “Cjs Dad wants to tear it down and build a nicer country club, because the land is better for it.”

“That asshole!” I hissed banging my left fist on my cast. It jarred my broken bones and made me yelp. The puppy came over and started licking my toes. All I saw then was a furry mouth to feed that we couldn’t afford. So Dad was actually right. I looked at the open door again with my heart breaking in my chest. The store was Mom’s happiness. She sacrificed a lot for it, we all did, but it never felt like a burden to me.

“Is that why you’ve been buying me things then?” I asked, I crossed my arms awkwardly over my chest.

“No!” Jenny answered shaking her head. “I bought you things because you were doing me a favor, with the dog.”

“The dog,” I huffed, I nudged her away with my foot. She rolled over and came back to lick my toes so I nudged her away again. “The whole town knows, right?”

“For the most part,” she whispered and I felt the angry tears sliding down my cheeks. My face felt feverish, but I knew it was because I was embarrassed to be crying in front of Jenny. It only made it worse when she put her hand on my shoulder. I didn’t shrug it off though.

“My Mom is a great mom,” I said, “she always has my happiness in her thoughts before her own.”

“So you’re happy living in...” Jenny started, but the glare I shot her stopped her from continuing.

“Get out Jenny,” I hissed reaching up and wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Go back to your side of the county.”

“I didn’t mean to say anything,” Jenny offered as she stood. “It’s just, your mom seems a little selfish to me.”

“Why, because I don’t have a bedroom as big as this whole house?” I snapped, Jenny hesitated in the middle of the room. The tears were still sliding down my face and the longer she stood there, the worse I felt. I didn’t want her here and I didn’t want her to see me break and I felt the angry scream forming in my lungs.

“Get out!” I ordered and she flinched and bolted from the door. I heard Dad’s chair screech back and fall over. I heard him trying to ask Jenny what had happened, but she didn’t answer as she ran from the house.

“What in the hell is your problem?” Dad bellowed from the hallway, but he quickly made his way into my room.

“Why didn’t you tell me the store is failing?” I asked more ashamed now of my tears than I was when Jenny was in the room.

“Did you cry in front of Jenny?” He asked crossing his arms. “God you’re a damn baby!”

“How long has it been bad?” I asked wiping the tears from my face. I blinked a few times to clear my vision. He was standing in the doorway, disgusted with me.

“I’m not talking to you like this,” Dad answered, “you’re not man enough.”

“I guess not,” I countered standing, I shoved past him. I didn’t care that I was barefoot and shirtless or that I was sweating from the stuffy room that always felt warm in the summer. I walked into the living room and out the front door thinking everyone that was nice to me only did it, because they agreed with Jenny. I thought enough people had to think the same, before Jenny would agree with them.

I walked across the lawn, noticing the puppy bouncing around me. I opened the door of the store, luckily lunch was winding down and it was empty. The four old guys that sat at the dining table and talked all day weren’t even around, probably too hot for them to get out of their houses. Mom looked up from the magazine she was reading and dropped it when she saw the expression on my face.

“What on earth?” She asked yanking out her hair net and coming around the register. She hugged me and it took all the anger and fight right out of me. I felt my shoulders slump and I wrapped her smaller frame in a hug. I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at all the people that didn’t come to the store to shop. All the people that talked bad about her in town when she was the best person in my world.

“I love you Mom,” I whispered and she let out a gasp and I knew I was hurting her with my cast so I dropped that arm and loosened the hug a little.

“What’s wrong baby?” Mom asked and I felt my face flush, then I remembered the store was empty and it was ok, I wanted her to call me that. It was always comforting when I was younger.

“Why didn’t you tell me the store was going so bad?” I asked and she stiffened slightly and she broke the hug to look at me.

“I should have told you,” she said, “but you’re not old enough to worry about things like this, especially on nice days like today.”

“Is that why you let me off this summer?” I asked and felt my heart break again when I saw the unshed tears in her eyes now.

“Yes,” she answered, “I couldn’t afford to pay you anymore, not what you deserve for all the good work that you do.”

“I would do it for free,” I said, “I’ll do it for free now.”

“I know, but you shouldn’t,” Mom said offering me a smile. “If I knew the news would upset you this much I would have told you.”

“Don’t keep things from me,” I said as gently as I could bring myself to be.

“Don’t be mad at me,” she said rubbing her hand over my arm.

“I could never be mad at you,” I countered, “I just hate that everyone else thinks you’re a shitty Mom for taking up this place and moving us out here.”

“What do you think?” Mom asked catching me off guard, “And watch your language young man.”

“I think they don’t know what they’re talking about,” I answered glaring past her to the door. It was the first time I really noticed how empty the parking lot was and how quiet the mechanics were. I had turned a blind eye when Mom gave me freedom, but I couldn’t see the store failing before now either, because she protected me. “I think you’re a great Mom.”

“Corey, people are always gonna talk,” she said still rubbing my arm. She leaned in closer when I wanted to turn my head and get angry again. “I used to get angry when other parents would talk negatively about your father or your weaknesses on the field, but then I realized I shouldn’t be angry.”
“Why not?” I asked and she nodded her head, knowing I was going to interrupt her and ask before she could tell me the answer.

“Because the people they knew and the people I knew weren’t the same,” she said shrugging her shoulders. At first I didn’t understand what she was saying, but she let me think about it until I did.

“I just wish they wouldn’t say it at all,” I said and she laughed and kissed me on the forehead as she walked past me to stand behind the counter.

“I was hoping that things picked up a little, just long enough to get you off to college before we had to sell,” Mom said and I looked around at the store I practically grew up in. The wooden shelves had aged and the tiles on the floor were cracked. Some of the florescent bulbs flashed no matter how new they were, it was the electricity going bad in the fixture. The grill and pizza oven were outdated and a hassle to work with. I should have known that things were bad just by looking around. It was difficult to see bad when Mom was around though, she always fluttered around the store doing things and making the customers that came in laugh and talk to her.

“Will Cj’s Dad pay enough to settle all the debt?” I asked and she pursed her lips not wanting to tell me. Wanting to protect me again.

“Yes it will,” she answered, “and it will be enough for us to rent an apartment in town for a few months.”

“Oh,” I said grimacing. The apartment, the only apartment building, was a renovated library. It could only house two families at one time. It was also a building that Cj’s father had bought and renovated and still owns.

“I guess since you know, there’s no real reason to postpone things,” Mom said looking slightly relieved. “Don’t worry with it though Corey, the day is still young go on and have fun and apologize to Jenny.”

“How did you know about that?” I asked and she smirked.

“Sometimes you do have a little bit of your father’s temper,” she said, and I groaned not wanting to think I had any of his more unappealing traits.

“She’s one of the people that think you’re a bad mother,” I said standing from the table. The dog, which I need to name, was whining at the door and scratching at the glass.

“I know, but you know better,” Mom said, “and I raised a gentleman.”

“Dad thinks you raised a baby,” I countered smiling when she rolled her eyes.

“Honey, if he raised you, you’d be smashing beer cans on your forehead,” she said, “now go on and get on out of here, I need to close up and go talk to your father.”

“Ok,” I said sighing I walked to the glass door, I could barely hear the whimpers of the puppy. When I opened it, I scooped her up to keep her from licking my toes and walked over to the house with her trying to lick at my face.

“Trouble,” I sighed, “trouble is all you’re going to be.” I looked down at her as she cocked her head to the side then started squirming. I put her down when I got to the grass and she followed me to the porch swing. I needed to think and I had a lot to think about, but I was no longer mad at Jenny, just at the way things seemed to be. The summer was still new, but it doesn’t seem as grand as it did when I first got my freedom. Now all I wanted was to be sitting by Mom in a store full of people waiting for someone to need either of us, like it was when I was very little and mostly got paid a dollar or so when I packed the bags out to peoples’ cars. Now all I saw ahead of me was change and a lot of it. Change I know I won’t like.