Standing In Shadows - 15. Chapter 15

SIS 15

I made up my mind to go visit Jenny when Dad started fussing about the grass dying in the yard. He and Mom had worked over the paperwork at the kitchen table for a few hours while Trouble slept in my lap. When she woke up is when I decided that I had enough eavesdropping on their conversation and decided to get away from the house. It was bad enough knowing that the store and the house would be no longer ours in the coming days, them talking about it and Mom crying even more only made me feel worse. I couldn’t feel this torn up when I went to see Jenny, it would only make things worse.

So before I lost all of my resolve I carried Trouble to the car and put her in the passenger seat. She did a little circle before she picked a spot and laid down. She let out a squeaky little yawn before she closed her eyes. The sound of the engine coming to life barely bothered her, but the curves kept waking her as I made my way to Jenny’s house.

When I arrived her car was in the driveway. I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door softly at first. Then realizing no one would hear me in the large house, I knocked louder.

“Come in,” came a voice somewhere in the house. It wasn’t Jenny’s voice, but her Mom. I stepped inside the house, not putting Trouble down, thinking she wouldn’t be completely welcomed and I would hear it from Dad if she broke anything. The rug at the front of the house probably cost more than our television in the living room.

“Hello?” I called from the front door.

“Corey, is that you?” Glenda, Jenny’s mom asked from the kitchen. I could smell food being cooked, Trouble was poking her nose into the air as well. So I followed the scent and diverted my attention when I saw Jenny’s mom. She was in a bright pink bathing suit with a pair of white shorts on. She had been wet when she pulled the shorts on and I could see the bright pink through the thin fabric.

“Hi, I was looking for Jenny,” I said looking down at the floor.

“She’s out back in the pool,” she answered, “are you staying for lunch, Jenny didn’t say anyone was coming over.”

“No, already ate,” I lied, I didn’t know how long I would be staying. If Jenny didn’t want to talk, it wouldn’t be long at all. I gave her a small wave as I stepped around the kitchen counter and out the sliding doors that led to the back yard. The large pool was empty aside from her. Her pale skin already showed signs of being sunburned, but she was laying on a bright blue pool float.

“The chicken sandwiches done already?” Jenny asked, taking off her sunglasses. Seeing me there she frowned but slid into the water anyway. “Why are you here Corey?”

“I feel bad about this morning,” I said, setting Trouble down. She bounced off ,seeming to remember the place.

“The others are in the basement,” she offered and pointed to the side of the house. I nodded and walked with the little brown dog bouncing alongside me bumping into my feet, I found the basement door and opened it. The other puppies were playing on the smooth tiled floor, gated off from the carpeted area where a second pool table was placed with a television mounted on the wall. When they saw me they all bounded over, but I quickly scooted Trouble in with my foot and closed the door. When I returned Jenny was out of the pool and wrapped in a soft white towel.

“About this morning,” I said, “I sometimes feel like people are nice to me out of pity.”

“Ever stop to consider that you’re just a likable guy?” Jenny asked leaning over to ring out her red hair. Jenny has never been able to tan, I wondered why she kept trying after all these years. All she managed was a few freckles that she hated.

“I don’t think I am really,” I shrugged, “the rumors are true though.”

“So the store really is failing?” Jenny asked and I nodded.

“Cj’s Dad really is wanting to buy it too and we have to sell,” I answered, “ it really sucks.”

“Sorry, I know you like the store,” Jenny said and motioned for me to sit beside her on the picnic bench. “Do you know where you’ll live after?”

“Probably the apartment in town,” I answered looking down at the dying grass. In the summer here it didn’t take long for the ground to dry causing the grass to die and become crunchy and yellow. The last storm was when Greg was in town. The thought of him caused me to fight back a shudder. I could still remember the comforting touch he had during the violent storm that blew through during our short camping trip.

“Cj will like that,” Jenny said rolling her eyes. “Try not to fall for any of his teasing.”

“He’ll be one of many. The only people that rent in those apartments are closet junkies, drunks and now us,” I countered shuffling my feet on the dry earth.

“It won’t last long, your mother will start making a lot more money,” Jenny said, attempting to comfort me but all I could think of is the sadness Mom felt over losing the store, the store that had been in the family forever.

“Yeah,” I sighed, “I wish they would have told me.”

“You’d just try to make it better, and feel like shit when you can’t,” Jenny answered offering me a small smile. “It’s how you are, you know.”

“Not really,” I countered and Jenny only rolled her eyes.

“You’re just like your Mom,” she said, “in that way.”

“Thanks,” I said, “better than being like ole Coach Wells.”

“Definitely,” Jenny agreed laughing.

“So, friends again?” I asked after a small silence fell between us. She was leaning her head against me, getting my shirt wet. I didn’t mind though.

“Sure,” Jenny said, “although I was just mad, I’d not stop being your friend over something like that. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“At least I know,” I responded.

The sliding back door opened with Jenny’s mom carrying a tray of food. She had gone ahead and fixed me a sandwich and a glass of iced tea. So I ate lunch with them and listened to Jenny’s mom talk about the people in town and what they were doing this summer. A lot of them were starting to leave on vacation. The same usual people left every year. Jenny would normally be gone, but they spent their vacation money, helping with the wedding this year. Jenny didn’t seem to mind being stuck in this boring town.

“Clinton stayed behind when his parents left for Florida, right?” Jenny asked her mother.

“Yeah I believe he did,” she answered, “I don’t really know why.”

“His parents are pretty strict, I can see why,” Jenny said, taking a sip of her iced tea.

“You think everyone has strict parents,” her mother said, “just because we’re more laid back than most parents.”

“Yeah,” Jenny said, “and I love you for it.”

Her mother laughed then stood and took the empty tray and her glass of iced tea into the kitchen leaving us alone. Jenny turned back to me, still sipping her tea through a bright green straw. She smiled then stifled a small burp.

“Why is Clinton really staying behind?” I asked knowing it couldn’t be because of his strict parents. His parents let him get away with a lot, I thought. They let him hang out and cause trouble with Cj anyway and only ended up paying for it if they needed to.

“Cj talked him into it, told him Disney was for kids,” Jenny answered rolling her eyes. “They were only going to stop in for one day and then go on to the beach, but Cj wouldn’t let up until Clinton stayed behind.”

“I can’t believe they let him,” I said, placing my empty glass down. Jenny refilled it with a little of her tea.

“We’re not kids anymore, I doubt he’ll burn the house down,” Jenny said, elbowing me in the side. “Don’t see why you care, he’s Cj’s little lap dog.”

“Yeah,” I said, “a lot of people are.”

“He doesn’t like you because you’re the only one that can steal his thunder, especially our senior year,” Jenny said.

“I don’t want it,” I countered rolling my eyes. “I’ll have enough to deal with when I have to tell Dad that I can’t play with a broken arm.”

“He still thinks you can play?” Jenny asked, trying not to laugh. “I guess you can use the cast to knock people out.”

“Maybe,” I said shrugging, “pretty sure that’s a penalty though.”

“Cameron will start, right?” Jenny asked, I didn’t really want to get into a discussion about football with her. I’ll be hearing it enough in the coming weeks when Dad starts getting everyone rounded up for late summer drills. The first day of practice will be difficult, a little piece of me wants to play my Senior season, at least finish what I started. It wasn’t going to work out that way, the summer wasn’t even over and I was already dreading the last year of high school. I usually liked school, but that’s because people respected me a little. Now I’ll be in a cast on the sidelines, being the target of my father’s wrath whenever something bad happened on the field.

“Yeah he’s co-captain,” I answered and Jenny started fanning her face. Her skin was turning from pink to red. I could tell I was keeping her from enjoying the cool water of the pool. On days like today, I wouldn’t mind soaking in the cool water myself. I knew she was only out here because I showed up and wanted to talk to her. If I didn’t have a cast on she would be begging me to get into the water with her.

“I wish it would rain,” she said glancing up at the cloudless sky.

“Yeah we need some,” I said, trying not to think about the storm again. It was so recent and so jarring. I learned a lot about myself that night. That I was actually afraid of storms and that I didn’t mind being close to another guy. I knew what I liked so that made it easier, but I still had the hesitation. I didn’t know what it was like, but now I could only want it to happen again. It was unlikely, Greg was long gone and he was the only one that ever touched me like that. Feeling my face flush and my shorts become uncomfortable I abruptly stood and stepped away from the picnic table.

“You have to go?” Jenny asked, shading her eyes from the sun to look at me.

“Yeah,” I answered offering her a manageable smile. I didn’t try too hard, since she seemed to be able to read into me better than I thought.

“You can leave the puppy if you have somewhere else to be,” Jenny said and I nodded my head. I didn’t want to leave her behind, so I stepped into the garage on the way around the house. She was asleep so I carefully scooped her into my arms. She only groaned a little, but didn’t stay awake long. I put her in the passenger seat then hurried around to my side of the car, turning on the car to blast the air conditioner. She was panting, but leaned her head into the cool breeze, her small ears blowing. She seemed to be smiling at the refreshing air and I couldn’t help but smile too.

Not wanting to go home to hear more talk of moving and where, knowing the only real option would be the apartments. I thought about walking back around the house to be with Jenny, she had become the only friend I could talk to these days with Keith and Andy off for some summer football camp. I hadn’t heard from them yet and it was likely I wouldn’t. The camp is a few counties over and on the best of times cell reception around here is horrible unless it was in town, closer to the tower.

When I finally did make up my mind, I pulled out of Jenny’s driveway and headed towards town. There wasn’t much to do other than the pool and the little diner that sold milkshakes. I couldn’t go to the pool with the cast so I found myself at the diner. I ordered a bottle of water for Trouble and a small chocolate shake for myself. The hornets were starved for anything liquid and Trouble was snapping at them which seemed to make them worse. So we ended up back in the car, hesitant about the new direction again.

“You could’ve ignored the little stinging bastards,” I said as I poured a little water into my hand and let her drink. She looked up at me with her muzzle dripping, but she seemed satisfied so I wiped my hand on my shorts and backed out the parking lot of the diner. I knew where I wanted to go, but the last few times I talked to Clinton wasn’t easy. He would likely not even be home, free of his parents he would be out with Cj, doing whatever Cj wanted to do.

I ended up in his part of town anyway, he lived less than five or so minutes away from Cj. It was likely he was out, but his black truck was parked just outside the house so I parked behind it. I let Trouble jump from the passenger side to my side and then put her on the ground while I stared at the large white house for any sign of life. It was early afternoon, the sun was growing more intense and Trouble was panting, not really feeling as playful as she did before. She followed me to the front door and I rang the bell. I heard movement from the living room and Clinton opened the door wearing just his boxers. I lightly chewed on the inside of my bottom lip to keep from laughing. His hair was a mess of spikes and his face was a mess of what looked like tomato sauce.

“Corey,” he said, looking more surprised than I thought he would. He grunted and held up his hand then disappeared. Trouble was scratching on the screen door, hearing Clinton’s voice but unable to see him made her whine. He returned with his face cleaned and a pair of shorts over his boxers. He opened the door and let me step inside.

“Sorry to bother you, but I got bored,” I said and he held the door open for Trouble to come in with me.

“It’s fine, I was just having some breakfast,” Clinton said, shrugging and leading to the living room where his plate of what I guessed was spaghetti. “Do you want some?”

“What is that exactly?” I asked, smirking and looked at the large flatscreen in the living room. He was watching some cartoon I didn’t recognize. He quickly grabbed the remote and tapped the power button. The screen went black and the room became quiet except for Trouble’s little toenails clicking across the hardwood floor.

“Spaghetti,” he said, “we didn’t have any sauce so I had to improvise.”

“Ketchup?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Definitely not the best,” he said, “and I made a whole lot.”

“I heard you stayed behind when your parents went on vacation,” I said and noticed he looked annoyed as he grabbed his plate and nodded his head for me to follow him into the kitchen. He set his plate aside and threw his fork into the sink. It was filled with dirty dishes already, but he didn’t seem to care about it. At home if Dad saw a stack of dirty dishes he would hunt me down and make me do them. We didn’t have a dishwasher either, but Clinton did, right beside the kitchen sink. He didn’t seem embarrassed about the state of the house though.

“That is because I thought Cj was going to let me go with him and his dad,” Clinton said, “they went rock climbing and camping for the next five days.”

“Yeah he said something about that the other night,” I replied remembering the way Cj treated Clinton when we were all in the kitchen eating a late dinner. How Clinton didn’t stand up for me after I went fishing with him.
“Yeah,” Clinton grunted absently scratching the back of his head. “Guess he forgot about inviting me.”

“Probably,” I shrugged thinking Cj was actually punishing him for hanging out with me and ignoring Cj. “Kind of sucks that it happened around the same time your parents left, too.”

“Well he said I was coming along, but they didn’t stop to get me last night,” he said rolling his eyes. “Maybe his Dad didn’t want me to come, he thinks Cj needs better friends anyway.”

“Well at least you have the house to yourself,” I said looking around the kitchen. It would be a chore to clean it before his parents did come back. If I was left behind, I would be bored with myself. I would probably have to work the store by myself, which wouldn’t have been difficult, but my house didn’t have much in the way of entertainment. We had a poor excuse for a television and a small collection of DVDs. Dad never allowed me to play many video games, saying it would make me lazy and a loser so I never was given a gaming system to play with.

“Boring as hell,” he said rolling his eyes. It fell quiet in the brightly lit kitchen. Clinton was studying me and I kept my attention away from him. I didn’t know what he was thinking, part of me wanted to leave thinking he wanted to be alone. I cleared my throat, hoping Trouble would cause a commotion, anything to get me out of the kitchen. “So what do you want?”

“What?” I asked, confused by the question. The tone was light, but it didn’t match his expression. He still seemed a bit surprised that I came to visit him.

“Well I just didn’t think we were on good terms,” he said, “I mean after how I let Cj treat you and then all the other stuff.”

“I already forgave you about breaking my arm,” I said and he smirked looking down at my cast.

“So you said,” he countered, “I wish we could go fishing again, but Dad doesn’t want me out on the boat with them away from the house.”

“Probably a good thing,” I offered and he rolled his eyes. “It was a fun time though, even if we didn’t catch a damn thing.”

“Yeah I know,” Clinton said, laughing. “Then Cj ruined it by being an ass to you.”

“Cj is an ass so I didn’t expect anything different,” I shrugged and Clinton smirked.

“Let’s go to my room,” he said and walked around me. I hesitated, a nervous jolt hitting me. I was interested to see what was in his room as well. I didn’t know why the thought of being in his room alone with him was worse than the empty house. I finally willed myself to walk when he made it to the bottom of the stairs leading to the second level of his house. The stairs were just tall enough to cause Trouble struggle to go up them. After the third step she sat down and started whining about being left behind. I looked up at Clinton wondering if she would be allowed in his room. The stairs were a white fluffy carpet that probably matched the hallway of the second level. She could easily make a mess for him to clean up, but Clinton just smiled and shrugged his shoulders so I reached down and she jumped into my arms.

We walked to the first door on the right. I set Trouble down at the top of the stairs and she was sniffing the carpet and walls. The bedroom door was open and bright light flooded in from the large windows. They opened to a small balcony and they didn’t have thick curtains blocking the light. His large bed was in the center of the room, but unlike my room it didn’t take up the entire room. He had a gaming system on a shelf along with a flat screen on the wall and a full entertainment system. A bookshelf was by the windows, I was surprised when I noticed it was full of books. I didn’t think Clinton was the type to sit down and read. I never had the time, if Dad saw me reading something that wasn’t a playbook or a textbook he gave me something to do.

“I like to read,” he said and I looked to see him watching me.

“Apparently you do,” I said, “unless it is a playbook, I don’t read for fun.”

“Well the quarterback should know the plays too,” he responded and I smirked.

“Dad hasn’t updated his playbook for two seasons, but he doesn’t miss a chance to shove it in front of me,” I said rolling my eyes.

“Do you want to borrow one of my books?” Clinton asked, waving his hand towards the bookshelf. “I’ve read most of them, so you can choose one you might like.” I was still standing just inside his room. He seemed nervous and almost like he was waiting for my approval of his bedroom. It probably wasn’t something a lot of people got to see, aside from Cj. I was beginning to notice that Clinton was very self-conscious, almost all of his movements seemed to be thought about; I wondered if Cj made him that way. Dad sure had me second guessing myself a lot over the years. It wasn’t something anyone should have to do, but I couldn’t help hearing my Dad’s voice now, telling me to put down that silly book and get my ass outside and practice throwing the ball.

“I better not, Dad might try to shove it down the toilet or something,” I said and Clinton laughed, some of the tension seemed to lift off his shoulders.

“Want to play a game?” Clinton asked, like before he pointed towards the Xbox and the stack of games on the shelf beside it.

“Sure,” I said, shrugging. I walked further into the room and he sat down grabbing two controls. He handed one to me.

It wasn’t long into the game that I got frustrated. I couldn’t get the hang of the game we were playing. Some Army combat game with other players online. I was always the first one killed, Clinton would laugh and I watched as he intensely pushed the buttons as he maneuvered around the killing field a lot better. He was having fun and it wasn’t boring watching him. He didn’t seem to notice me too much at all, until he would win or kill someone. He would glance in my direction briefly. His eyes seemed brighter and less guarded as well. This simple little thing brought a lot more animation to him, just like driving the fishing boat did. It was nice seeing him like this, instead of always worried about what he said or did around Cj and everyone else at school.

It surprised me when a new game started that he put down his controller, letting himself get killed. When that happened he started teaching me how to sneak around in the buildings and where the people liked to go to get a good scan of the other players. It took me a while just to move the man on the screen smooth enough to actually shoot at people when they did pop into screen. We ended up laughing for the most part, but it was fun and it felt like a normal hot summer day activity. Too hot to really be outside unless you were in a swimming pool. It was a welcome distraction until my broken arm started a dull ache.

“Your arm hurting?” Clinton asked after I let go of the controller and flexed my fingers again. I didn’t want to stop playing, I was just getting the hang of it.

“Yeah,” I answered offering him a smile when I noticed he was frowning over my arm again.

“I guess it gets you out of some chores though,” Clinton said as he reached and shut off the game and the television.

“A few,” I replied. I hadn’t had to do a whole lot since Mom offered me my freedom. I looked around and saw Trouble asleep, she was laying on her side in the sun. The sun had lost a lot of its intensity though and the room was slightly darker. Something I hadn’t really noticed before now, but it was getting later into the evening. In the summer the sun didn’t set until well after eight. We had played the video game longer than I thought.

“Want to watch a movie or something?” He asked and I looked out the window again. Mom knew I was stopping at Jenny’s to apologize other than that I didn’t tell anyone where I would be going.

“I probably should be getting home,” I said, “it is getting kind of late.”

“Oh,” he countered looking down at the ground briefly. He didn’t try to hide the disappointment in his voice either. He wanted someone to pass the time with now that Cj ruined his trip with his parents.

“I could just call and tell them I’ll be in later,” I said shrugging.

“I’ll order a pizza and pop some popcorn,” he said smiling, “pick out a movie and bring it down, my parent’s stuff sucks.”

“Alright,” I said and Clinton left the room. I looked over at his entertainment center again sighing. I really didn’t know what brought me here and kept me here now. The look on his face was difficult to ignore as he had looked honestly disappointed. If Cj had let him go on the trip though, I would be forgotten. I knew I shouldn’t trust Clinton, not when Cj was still hovering over him like a storm cloud. Someone that completely overshadowed Clinton but he didn’t seem to care as long as Cj kept being his friend.

“Having trouble picking one out?” Clinton called from the bottom of the stairs. I sighed bending over to look at his collection. Shrugging, I picked one that looked like an action movie that Clinton probably liked and scooped Trouble up into my arms and went down stairs. The smell of popcorn was just starting to invade the kitchen.

“I’ve never seen the Avatar movie, so I picked it,” I said and he smiled as he dumped the popcorn into a large plastic bowl.

“That’s fine, I’ve only watched it once,” Clinton said, “it is a longer movie though.”

“That’s ok,” I said, “where’s your phone?”

“On the table between the couch and Dad’s recliner,” he answered and followed me into the living room. I dialed the phone hoping that Mom would pick up the phone, but when my Dad’s grunt of hello crossed the line I hesitated.

“Well what do you want?” Dad asked, I knew he was about to hang up.

“Dad?” I said, turning away from Clinton as he was preparing the movie. He was already seated on the couch with the bowl of popcorn on the middle cushion. He had two cans of pop on coasters on the table in front of the couch waiting.

“What do you want and speak up,” Dad said and I could hear Mom asking who it was, scolding him for sounding mad. I smirked, letting them have their argument, but when Dad turned his attention back to me sounded more calm.

“I was just calling to say I’ll be in late, I’m hanging out with a friend,” I explained and I heard Dad relaying the information to Mom.

“Staying the night with Jenny, then?” Dad asked, “That is who you went to see today, right?”

“Yeah I went to see her,” I answered, “but I’m not there anymore, I’m with another friend.”

“Don’t you be two timing Jenny, that shit don’t work in a small town, I know,” Dad said and I heard Clinton snicker. I looked at him, Dad was loud over the phone. I wasn’t surprised that he could hear. The room was silent as he waited for me.

“I’m not,” I said, “Jenny and I aren’t even together anyway.”

“Oh right, forgot you were an asshole,” Dad countered, “well if you’re going to be late, don’t even bother coming home I’m not waiting up for your ass, see you in the morning.”

“Oh, well ok then,” I said, “bye Dad.”

“Ouch,” Clinton said as I pressed the end button on his phone. I put it back on the table and turned to see him looking at me.

“That’s Dad for you,” I said shrugging, “can I crash at your house, I kind of can’t go home.”

“Yeah, guest room is across the hall from mine,” Clinton said, watching me as I walked around the end table to sit on the couch, the bowl of popcorn separating us. He skipped through the movie trailers and the main menu. We waited in silence as the movie started, both of us taking turns taking a handful of popcorn. A little while later as Clinton was popping a second bag of popcorn the pizza came, but neither of us opened the box to get a slice so Clinton put it in the fridge.

“Sorry,” I said when my hand brushed his in the popcorn bowl. I had never eaten this much of what Dad would call junk food at once. The buttery popcorn left my fingers feeling greasy and the pop was bubbling in my stomach.

“It’s fine,” he said, glancing at me. He seemed at ease, but as the movie went on I started to feel my shoulders tense. My hands started to get clammy and I had to face it. I was developing something for Clinton. Maybe it had started on the boat trip when he looked so alive and not playing Cj’s tag along lacky. The disappointment I felt in the kitchen a few nights ago when Cj dropped by had been bigger than I thought it should have been for someone I barely even trusted and didn’t really consider a friend at the time. Friend, I considered him a friend, people didn’t visit people they didn’t like or didn’t trust. Now I was sitting in his living room watching a movie that would last too long for me to go home. I would be crashing in his guest bedroom and won’t be able to just leave in the morning without hanging out a little, it would be rude to.

“Are you ok?” Clinton said snapping me back to the living room and out of my head. I felt the tension in my body so I released it with a sigh and eased back into the couch. I reached for the popcorn bowl not noticing his hand there again. The contact caused me to jump and it sent the bowl flying to the ground. Trouble was on her feet the second the popcorn cascaded down the side of the couch and into the floor.

“Shit,” I said as I picked Trouble up and held her squirming in my lap. She was chewing on the mouthful of popcorn she was able to snatch up before I grabbed her. “Sorry about that.”

“What’s wrong?” Clinton asked the corners of his mouth twitching. He was trying not to smile, but when I shrugged I saw him smile as he started cleaning up the spilled popcorn.

“Nothing,” I stammered and before I knew it Clinton was kneeling next to me. His hand, slick with a light coating of butter and the smell of popcorn wrapped around the back of my head and he pulled me down. His lips slammed into mine roughly at first, but the second kiss was soft and apprehensive. I felt him about to pull away, probably start to apologize so my hand reached up and held his own head into place as I kissed him back. The kiss tasted of salt and butter, but I didn’t care. The tension of the room and inside of me was erased and I felt better.

He broke the kiss with a smile then he stood and walked into the kitchen. I heard him dump the popcorn into the trash and then he returned to the living room. I was already laying back and watching the movie so he sat down on the other end of the couch Trouble between us sniffing the air for more popcorn, but he kept his distance. I didn’t look at him as the flush faded from my face. I could still taste the butter on my lips. I refused to look at him now. Lost in my own mind again a thousand questions wanted answers, but I didn’t have any. As the movie continued the more I was frustrated with myself. I shouldn’t have returned the kiss, but I didn’t want Clinton to feel rejected and I couldn’t explain that to myself either.

When the movie ended I said a quiet goodnight and packed Trouble up the stairs. I heard Clinton go to his room from the guest room. I watched under the door as his light was turned off and heard his door close. With Trouble beside me I fell into an awkward sleep not wanting to really face him in the morning and knowing that I had to.