Nemesis: Because I Want You - 6. Chapter Six: Teenage Angst

CHAPTER SIX

Teenage Angst

Dave picked at his chips with his fork, not really feeling hungry. Once again, it had been more than a week since he had last spoken to Nick, and he found that he, in a very odd way, missed him.

They’d had a good thing going, he thought. The fighting, the sparring, it had been his favourite pastime. It had given him something to look forward to. Lately, he just felt apathetic and sort of irritated all the time. Why did Nick have to go and ruin everything by talking about being friends, and then going around avoiding him?

He looked up from his plate and scanned the cafeteria. He could see Nick over in a corner, reading a book, his food forgotten. He looked just as he always did, tie slightly loose and shirt sticking out from under his green school jumper, concentrating deeply on his novel. Every once in a while he shifted in his seat, or chewed his lip. Then he would look up, glance around absent-mindedly, and return to the novel. Every time he looked up, Dave resolutely looked away.

This silence had gone on for long enough, Dave decided, and stood up.

‘Oi, Davis!’ he said as he approached the other boy, putting on his best smirk. ‘You have been all quiet for days! What’s the matter?’

Nick looked up at him. ‘Stop talking to me,’ he said shortly.

‘What’s your problem?’ asked Dave, a bit taken aback.

‘You are my fucking problem!’ replied Nick, hotly. ‘You and your fucking attitude! Well guess what? I’m not buying it!’

Dave felt genuinely puzzled. ‘Buying what, exactly?’

‘You think that you can do whatever you want, just cause you’re good looking and popular, like nothing can touch you! Well, it can. You’re bloody well mortal like the rest of us!’ He stood up and rushed from the room, leaving his tray behind.

Dave frowned. What was he on about all of a sudden? With an annoyed huff, Dave abandoned the cafeteria as well. Out in the corridor, he saw Nick disappear around a corner. Dave turned towards the exit and saw Matt trotting towards him.

‘Oh, good!’ said Matt. ‘I was looking for you. Your bike’s missing!’

‘What?’ Dave stared at him for a moment. Then the pieces began to fall into place. ‘Davis!’ he growled. It had to be! That was why he had blown up like that. ‘Cheers, mate,’ he told Matt, and then he turned around and headed off in the direction Nick had gone.

* * *

Nick stared at his reflection. Then he closed his eyes and sighed, backing away into the wall next to the urinal. He regretted getting so emotional. He just couldn’t be near Dave right now. It was becoming unbearable, and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Whenever the other boy spoke to him he wanted to kiss him to shut him up, but that wasn’t really an option.

So he had tried just avoiding him again, but Dave, predictably enough, would have none of that, it seemed. Maybe he would just move to his dad in Plymouth and never have to speak to Dave Thompson again. Or just quit school. Who needed GCSEs, anyway?

Right then the door flew open and Nick jumped. Dave grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up against one of the stalls. ‘Where is it?’ he growled through gritted teeth.

Nick found himself, once again, staring into those unfathomable blue eyes, and his knees weakened. This was the closest they’d ever been, their full bodies almost touching. He could breathe in Dave’s scent, feel his heat. The two were so close their hips brushed together and Nick fought the animal reaction threatening to surface with all his might. If he moved two inches closer he could kiss him. He was fully aware of how fucked up it was to be turned on by the situation he was in, but found himself not caring very much.

Somehow, even through these thoughts he managed to stammer, ‘Wha—where’s what?’

‘My bike, you little twat!’ Dave said, furiously. ‘Where is it?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Nick, quite truthfully, anger bubbling inside him now. ‘Why don’t you ask the one who took it, cause I never touched your precious bike!’

‘You absolute cunt!’ Dave shouted. He raised his fist and landed a punch straight in Nick’s gut. Nick coughed and doubled over with pain, clutching his stomach. ‘Confess!’ Dave commanded.

‘I didn’t do it . . .’ Nick groaned, shaking his head.

‘Liar!’ Dave uttered in a contemptuous whisper. He grabbed Nick by the shoulders and shoved him to the floor. Then he turned around and stomped off.

Nick picked himself up, slowly. He took a few deep breaths and felt hot tears sting his cheeks. He washed his face in the sink and stared at his reflection again. How could he possibly have these feelings for someone who was this cruel to him? Dave had no business being that fit.

But if there was one thing Nick hated, it was being wrongfully accused, of anything, and as the pain in his abdomen lessened, his anger grew. The arrogant bastard! How could he possibly think Nick would sink so low as to steal from him? To what end? Nick heaved an angry sigh and dried his face off with tissue paper. All bets were off, now.

* * *

‘What the hell happened?’ Mr. Reynolds spoke in an exasperated tone. ‘After our chat on the first day, there have hardly been any incidents, so what on Earth is going on now?’

Nick looked away, absent-mindedly chewing his lip. He wasn’t entirely certain what had happened himself, if he were honest. After an English lesson full of particularly mean jabs, he had accidentally-on-purpose tripped Dave, and then all hell had broken loose. The result was that Dave had hurt his knee, and the cut in Nick’s lip, which had been nearly healed, had opened up again. Their teacher had sent them both off to Mr. Reynolds, who now looked at them with an expression of mixed anger and resignation.

‘He stole my bike, sir,’ said Dave through gritted teeth.

‘No, I didn’t! I never went near it, he’s lying!’ Nick retaliated angrily.

Mr. Reynolds waved a hand at them. ‘Settle down, lads!’ he said. ‘David, if your bicycle has been stolen, you need to report that to the school, not take matters into your own hands! And Nicholas,’ (Nick winced at the sound of his full given name), ‘if you are being harassed, you tell a teacher, you don’t retaliate and escalate the conflict!’

He sat back in his chair and looked at both of them in turn. He sighed and rubbed his temples. ‘I’m giving you both detention, tomorrow afternoon,’ he said. ‘Together. And I expect you both to act civilly to one another!’

‘Yes, sir,’ the two boys said in unison, glaring at one another out of the corners of their eyes. Then they left his office.

They walked in silence through the deserted corridor, glancing at each other from time to time. Nick wondered if he should say something. Somehow, the anger had now left him and instead, he felt only a sort of empty pinching in his gut.

In the end, he said, ‘I really didn’t take your bike, you know.’

‘Like hell you didn’t!’ said Dave, and before Nick knew it, he was being shoved up against the wall again. His heart was pounding. Dave’s eyes were icy and hard and his jaw was set. Nick could feel his breath on his face.

That was when Nick did something highly irrational.

He grabbed Dave’s face in his hands and brought their lips together, hard. Dave’s mouth was already slightly open, and Nick was met with no resistance when he pushed his tongue inside, really tasting for the first time what he’d only dreamt about for ages.

It was like an explosion. For a moment, Nick forgot about everything else. His ears filled with the crashing sound of waves and he didn’t care that they were in the middle of a corridor at school. He ran his fingers through Dave’s hair, pulled him closer, relishing the feel of Dave’s body against his own.

Dave seemed to be responding instinctively, out of sheer surprise, and at first he let Nick pull him towards him without putting up a fight. Being this close to Dave, breathing his breath, holding onto him, felt thrilling and dangerous and so hot.

It only lasted a moment, though. Then Dave broke contact very suddenly and wrenched himself out of Nick’s grasp. He backed away a few steps, just staring. He was panting, his face flushed and his eyes wide. His lips were red from the kiss. He had never looked more gorgeous, with his disheveled hair and his shirt slightly rumpled. Nick suddenly felt embarrassed and looked away, his heart still pounding wildly in his chest.

‘Wha—’ Dave swallowed, took a few shallow breaths, and tried again. ‘What the actual fuck was that?’

Nick opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything. But he had nothing to say. He looked up and met Dave’s eyes for a moment. He wasn’t sure what he expected to find there, but all he found was wide-eyed confusion and shock.

Nick ran, leaving Dave alone in the corridor. He didn’t bother to fetch any of his things. He ran all the way home. When he got there, he rushed upstairs to his room and slammed the door behind him. Not even bothering to take off his shoes, he threw himself down on the bed. Hyperventilating, he gasped into his pillow, trying to calm himself.

‘Stop it, stop it, stop it!’ he whispered as the sobs started coming. ‘You baby, stop it!’ Then he screamed into the pillow, slamming his fist into the mattress, thankful that no one else was home.

After a few moments, he turned over on his side, his breathing slowing but his heart still racing. His face was hot and sweaty and his cheeks were red and wet with tears. He reached for the remote to his iPod dock, which was lying on his bedside table, and pressed play, delving into Placebo’s first album.

He had blown his cover. What would happen now? Would Dave tell his friends? If he did, soon everyone would know, and Nick’s life would be over. Even so, he knew that that wasn’t why he was upset. He was mortified, sure, at having given in to his impulses like that, without thinking about the consequences. But the thing that really hurt had been the look on Dave’s face. The way he had pulled himself away, the look of disbelief, his words . . . Nick had imagined their hypothetical first kiss many, many times. It had never happened like that.

And still, he thought back on it and his stomach tingled, his heart pounded in his chest and his palms grew sweaty. He was still, obviously, absolutely besotted. He punched the mattress again in frustration, absolutely dreading his detention. Two hours in a room with Dave.

Nick turned over on his back, letting schoolboy fantasies invade his mind as he imagined arriving in detention to find only Dave in the room. It was so much easier now than before to imagine the feel of his lips, because he didn’t have to imagine, he could remember. He closed his eyes, his breath quickening again. Dream-Dave was holding him close, kissing him, nibbling at his neck, moaning in his ear. His tongue moved over Nick’s collar bone. His hand was in his hair.

Nick’s breath caught in his throat and he moved his hand absent-mindedly to his crotch, palming himself through his trousers, as Dream-Dave locked his lips to Nick’s, breathing into his mouth, pushing his tongue inside, and Nick came in his pants like a kid. He felt the wet patch spread through the fabric and moisten his trousers.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, not bothering to feel stupid. Then he breathed a heavy sigh, before getting up to take a shower.

* * *

Dave sat on his bed, knees pulled up to his chin, staring gloomily ahead. His father had not been happy to hear of his detention, and Dave was grounded again. Additionally, his knee was getting painful and stiff where he’d banged it against a chair when he fell, and he was subsequently excused from football and the upcoming match. He could live with that, though. Football wasn’t as much fun as it used to be, these days. While it still served as a way to take his mind off things, it wasn’t really enough anymore, and it added another level of stress to his life that he didn’t feel like he really needed.

He closed his eyes and images swam in his mind, unbidden. Nick looking up at him with wide, grey eyes. Reaching out to him. Pulling his face towards him.

Dave had been so surprised he had been unable to fight it. Then, before he knew it, his heart had been racing and he had been forced to stifle a moan threatening to push forth. After, he’d had to adjust himself a bit in his trousers. He shook his head, unwilling to admit it. He had never even explored the possibility that another boy might be able to make him feel . . . well, anything. He tried to rationalise it away, thinking that he just liked kissing, that he had just forgotten for a second who it was sticking their tongue in his mouth. Nick had been a warm body, and it had been a while, and for a second, Dave had just enjoyed the feeling of being kissed again.

But Nick was a boy. Regardless of how long it had been (and it hadn’t been that long, barely a month since he and Linda had broken it off) he shouldn’t have had that reaction to another boy kissing him.

He was certain of one thing, however. Nick hadn’t taken his bike. He had no motive. And the thought of what he’d done to him in the bathroom left Dave with a sick, guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. The two boys hadn’t had a proper physical fight since they were about eight years old. It had always been fair. They’d been evenly matched, verbally, but physically, Dave was a lot stronger.

Dave had never really been a violent person, and he wasn’t entirely sure what had made him do it. He supposed that his general mood of late might have had something to do with it. Those feelings of irritation and annoyance, for no apparent reason, had been piling up for weeks, he realised. A few days before, Alan had asked in jest if he was on his period or something, and Dave had nearly punched him in the face.

Dave heaved an annoyed sigh and lay down on his back. Briefly, he considered masturbating to take the edge off, but then the image of Nick and the memory of the kiss filled his mind again and he decided against it. He would have to apologise to Nick the next day. It was the least he could to.

* * *

The following day passed far too slowly for Dave’s liking. He just wanted to get to his detention so he could make his apology. (It did occur to him how ridiculous it was to be looking forward to a detention, but he ignored that thought.)

Their detention was scheduled to begin after the last lesson of the day. Dave’s heart fluttered annoyingly in his chest as he walked to the correct classroom. The teacher who was overseeing wasn’t there yet, and neither was Nick, so he hovered in the doorway a moment. Then he heard approaching footsteps and turned around to see Nick coming towards him. The other froze in his tracks a few feet away and stared at him. He looked as nervous as Dave felt.

‘Er . . . hey,’ said Dave uncertainly, pulling at his own sleeve.

‘Hi,’ Nick responded slowly, his eyes narrowing a bit.

They stood in silence for a moment. Nick bit his lip and looked away. Dave was first to speak.

‘Look . . . I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.’ He paused to see if Nick would say anything, or look at him. He didn’t. ‘I know you didn’t steal my bike. I’m really sorry I accused you, I know how it feels to be falsely accused and I . . . I’m . . .’ He faltered for a second, frowning. ‘I’m really, really fucking sorry I hit you. I shouldn’t have done that, no matter what. I just . . . I lost control, dunno what came over me, just . . .’ Now it was Dave’s turn to look away, ashamed.

‘It’s okay,’ said Nick, quietly. ‘It’s all right, I forgive you.’

Dave looked up and their eyes met. Nick had a pained expression on his face. He looked so small and miserable that Dave wanted nothing more than to hug him.

The teacher arrived just then. ‘Oh, you’re both here,’ he said, looking pleased. ‘Well, get inside, both of you.’

He set them to do homework. Occasionally, Dave glanced over at Nick. A few times he was sure Nick had been looking at him, because he looked suddenly and intently down at his page, a slow blush creeping up his neck.

When the teacher stepped out for a cigarette break, Dave put down his pencil and turned to look at Nick properly. Nick stopped writing too, and looked up hesitantly, their eyes meeting again.

‘So . . .’ Dave said, holding out the ‘o’ a bit longer than necessary. ‘I was just thinking . . .’ He paused to arrange his thoughts. ‘Look, I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’d much rather . . . I mean . . .’ He fell silent again and looked down at his hands.

Nick swallowed audibly. Then he spoke. ‘Maybe we could hang out some time.’

Dave’s head snapped up. ‘Yeah?’ he said, a bit too enthusiastically, then cleared his throat. ‘I mean, sure, we could do that . . .’

They looked at each other for a moment, as though sizing each other up. Nick’s courage seemed to have run out as he was once again silent.

‘Maybe you could give me your number?’ Dave prompted after a while.

‘Oh,’ said Nick, blinking. He looked down at his desk, suddenly blushing furiously. Then he tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and jotted down eleven digits on it, handing it to Dave. ‘Here,’ he said, unnecessarily.

‘Thanks.’ Dave looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. Then he looked up at Nick again. Slowly, a grin spread across his face. Nick blinked, looked away, looked back at Dave, and a shy smile ghosted his features as well.

Dave gave a short snort of laughter and looked away. ‘What are we like?’ he said. ‘I mean, how long has this been going on? It’s just stupid! And I’ve just been acting a fucking arse lately . . .’ Next to him, he could hear Nick break down into a fit of giggles, and looked up at him, amazed. ‘Oi, it’s not that funny!’ Dave said defensively.

‘Yeah, it is!’ Nick replied, looking up at him, and promptly looking away again as outright laughter took him.

Dave started laughing, too, not entirely certain at what. ‘Yeah, it is,’ he agreed, nodding.

After a few moments they both regained some level of composure, and Dave stretched out his right hand. ‘Friends?’ he said.

Nick looked at the hand for a moment, a quizzical smile playing on his lips. Then he took it. ‘Friends.’