Nemesis: Because I Want You - 16. Chapter Sixteen: Thirty-Six Degrees

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Thirty-Six Degrees

The walk up to the front door seemed to take forever. Dave’s mother stared down at him from the top of the steps, her expression unreadable. He was at least glad that he had Jason with him.

His mother led him into the kitchen, where he found his father seated at the table, holding an ice pack to his head. His expression was stony but he seemed acutely aware that Jason was in the room. Dave’s father had always been intimidating enough on his own that he had never needed to get physical, but if there had ever been a time when Dave thought he might resort to violence, it was now. His son had knocked him out, after all.

‘Well, look who’s back,’ he said, icily.

‘Dad, just—’ Dave began, but his father interrupted him.

‘Sit down and shut up!’ he shouted. Dave did as he was asked. The vein in his father’s forehead was throbbing. ‘I don’t care what you think you were doing in that bedroom with the Davis boy, but this ends right now!’

‘Oh yeah? Well you can’t stop me!’ Dave shouted back, banging his fist on the table.

‘Can’t I?’ his father replied, quietly. ‘If you think I’m going to let people think I have a shirt-lifter for a son, you’ve got another thing coming! You are grounded for the rest of the school year!’ He held out his hand. ‘Give me your mobile phone.’

‘I haven’t got it. I left it in my room yesterday.’

‘Jason, go get David’s mobile phone, please.’ George Thompson looked his son up and down as his nephew left the room. Dave stared back. Then he turned his gaze on his mother, who was standing by the window.

‘You’re being awfully quiet, Mum,’ he said contemptuously. ‘How do you feel about all this?’

She fixed him with an icy blue stare. ‘I’m behind your father in this,’ she said. ‘I don’t want people thinking my son is queer.’

Dave laughed. ‘Right, so now that I’m a disappointment you suddenly take an interest. You never even acknowledge my existence unless there’s something I can do for you!’

If he hadn’t known better, Dave might have said she looked hurt. ‘I have always given you nothing but the best!’ she said.

‘Yeah, fancy designer clothes, so I wouldn’t be an embarrassment!’ Dave shot back. ‘What are you two doing home, anyway?’ he asked sullenly, staring resolutely down at his hands.

‘I had to schedule an urgent meeting with a client for tomorrow,’ his father said coldly. ‘I needed to prepare. Now I may just have to cancel it, or hand the case over to someone else, thanks to you.’

Dave licked his lips, refusing to look at his father but still, somehow, feeling slightly guilty.

He heard Jason’s footsteps coming back down the stairs, and soon he came back inside the kitchen.

‘Wow. You could cut this tension with a knife,’ he said, smiling uncertainly.

‘Just give me the phone, boy,’ said Dave’s father, stretching out his hand. Jason made an apologetic face at Dave and gave his father the mobile.

George Thompson fiddled with it for a minute, then handed it back to Dave. Message sent, it said on the screen.

‘What did you do?’ asked Dave. He received no reply, so he went into his sent messages. There were three new ones, one to Nick, one to Alan and one to Chas. The ones to Alan and Chas read the same.

Nick Davis came onto me, the little bender! Tell everyone.

The one to Nick read:

I never want to see you again.

Dave stared at his phone and felt tears well up in his eyes. Any guilt he might have felt about hitting his father evaporated. ‘How could you . . . ?’ he whispered. His father snatched the phone back and switched it off.

‘You are only to have your mobile phone when you leave the house, and you are only to leave the house for school and football. When you are at home, you are confined to your bedroom save for meal times. If you behave, I might allow a couple of your friends to visit you. You are never to speak to Nicholas Davis again. You are never to go to his house and he is never to come here. If you possibly can, you are to get a new girlfriend, so long as it doesn’t get in the way of your studies.’ His father waved his hand. ‘That’s all. Go to your room.’

Dave turned around and left the kitchen. Jason followed him up the stairs.

‘So . . .’ he said. ‘You and Nick were . . . ?’

‘Yeah.’

‘The whole time?’

‘Yup.’

They stopped outside Dave’s bedroom, and Jason put a hand on his shoulder.

‘I’m really sorry, mate,’ he said. ‘I had no idea. If I had, I wouldn’t have told Uncle George he was here, I could have warned you.’

‘It’s not your fault,’ said Dave, smiling weakly. ‘We might have told you, only . . .’

‘Only you didn’t know how I’d take it.’ Jason nodded. ‘I understand.’ He lowered his gaze and sighed. ‘For what it’s worth, I’m fine with it. My flatmate James is gay, you know.’

‘Really?’ said Dave, blinking. ‘That’s . . . cool.’

‘Yeah, he’s all right.’ Jason looked up at Dave and smiled. ‘Your Nick seems like a nice kid, too. I hope you can find some way to work it out. And his sister was really nice. We got to talking while she was here. If you like, I can ring her later and explain what’s happened here.’

‘You’d do that?’ Dave asked, taken aback. ‘God, I wish you were my brother . . . I could use an ally around here.’ He smiled, opening his bedroom door. Jason grabbed him by the wrist to stop him from going in.

‘You do understand that if you ever pull something like that with my bike again I will kill you very slowly and very painfully?’ he said. His expression was serious, but there was a glint of something in his eye.

Dave nodded solemnly. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘Good,’ said Jason with a curt nod. ‘Now, as for Zoë . . . She single?’

Dave laughed in spite of himself. ‘She’s about to be.’

* * *

They parked the car a ways up the street. Minutes later, the police showed up outside their front door. Zoë gave Nick’s hand a squeeze and got out of the car, heading towards the house. She unlocked the door and the police went inside.

Nick’s mobile buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. He had a text from Dave.

I never want to see you again.

Nick blinked. Then his eyes welled up with tears again. He stared at the text, unable or unwilling to believe what he was reading. Dave wouldn’t do this to him, surely? Not after everything they’d been through.

He tried to call him, but his phone had been switched off. This couldn’t happen, not now! Dave was all he had.

The front door opened again and two police officers appeared. Craig was not with them. One made a phone call while the other spoke to Zoë and took some notes. He seemed to ask her a question and she nodded.

Zoë returned to the car and got in. ‘He’s not there,’ she said softly. ‘He sounded so strange when we spoke on the phone last night . . . They’re going to see if he’s at his dad’s house. We have to go down to the police station and give a statement.’ She looked at Nick with a pained expression. ‘And they’ll want to examine you, so they can see your bruises and everything . . . Are you okay with that?’

Nick didn’t answer.

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ she asked. He showed her the text, and she hugged him. ‘It’ll be okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll ring Jason later and find out what happened, all right? Now, are you okay with going down to the station?’

‘Will it put Craig away?’ Nick asked, wiping his tears from his cheeks.

‘I think it’s our best shot, yes,’ Zoë replied.

Nick nodded. ‘Okay.’

* * *

Nick lay curled up on his bed. It was only eight o’clock in the evening, but he couldn’t really think of anything else to do. Forensics had taken his old bedding and Zoë had put on new, clean sheets, but the bed still brought back bad memories. He tried to ignore them.

His interview down at the station had been very painful. They had made him recount exactly what had happened. He’d had to take three breaks because he couldn’t breathe. Then they had taken him to a medical examiner who had checked out his bruises, confirmed the date that they had probably been delivered, and then performed a painful and humiliating rectal examination in a futile attempt to confirm sexual assault. Nick had cried silently the whole time, and Zoë had held his hand, and afterwards he had been sick.

The police had told them that they’d found Craig at his father’s house. He had been unwashed and drunk, but had come quietly.

After the whole ordeal was over and they had got back home, Zoë had rung Jason, who had apparently tried to ring her while they were at the police station. She asked him about the text, and he told her that Dave’s dad had sent it before taking away his mobile.

‘I would like to beat that bastard George Thompson to a pulp, I really would!’ Zoë had said to Nick after. ‘What a despicable and awful thing to do!’

Jason had also told her that Nick could expect some trouble when he got back to school, as Dave’s father had also outed him in a text to Dave’s friends, saying that he had tried to come onto Dave and been refused.

But Dave’s parents had not, it seemed, disconnected Dave’s Internet, and Nick had found an e-mail in his inbox from him.

Dear Nick,

I’m so sorry about the text. My dad sent it. And he’s outed you, but I’m sure Jason’s told your sister all about that, he said he’d ring her.

My dad’s grounded me and won’t let me use my phone when I’m at home. It’s only a matter of time before he thinks to block my Internet, too. I’ll text you when we’re back at school, though, any chance I get. He wants to stop us from seeing each other and communicating, but I won’t let him.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m not gonna let you go. You’re amazing and I love you.

Dave xx

While he was online, Nick had spoken to Mel briefly on Messenger and filled her in on what had happened. She had immediately offered to help pass messages between them, promising to ring the Thompsons the following day and talk to Dave.

When it was time for bed, Nick tried at first to sleep in his own room, but the memories of what had happened there were far too fresh and painful and in the end he took his pillow with him to Zoë’s room. Rattled by what Craig had done, she had moved from the master bedroom she had shared with him, to what had been her bedroom before she’d gone off to uni.

‘Zoë?’ he said softly. She stirred.

‘Hm? What’s wrong, Nick?’

‘Can’t sleep.’

Zoë pulled back the covers and scooted in towards the wall. Nick climbed into bed with her, like he used to do when he was little and woke from a nightmare. She pulled him close, kissed his forehead, and soon they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The week that followed was one of the most miserable weeks of Dave’s life, and he suspected Nick’s wasn’t much better. He managed to send a few e-mails before his father thought to revoke his Internet access, but other than that he had no direct contact with his boyfriend, and it tore him apart that he couldn’t be there for Nick when Nick needed him most. Mel was immensely helpful in delivering messages back and forth between the two of them, but Dave wasn’t allowed much telephone time with her, family or not.

The first thing he did when he was allowed his mobile back the following Monday was text Nick.

Hey. I’m so sorry about all of this. Meet me in the changing rooms at lunch? I love you.

Nick’s reply came quickly.

Of course. Love you too. x

When he arrived at school, Dave was greeted by Alan and Chas at the entrance to the school, as usual.

‘He’s really done it now, hasn’t he?’ said Alan gleefully. ‘I mean, we always knew he was a faggot, but now we know, you know?’

Dave looked away. ‘Something like that,’ he mumbled. Alan took no notice.

‘So, he’s out of the closet then, innit?’ said Chas. He frowned. ‘That must really suck for him . . .’

‘He wishes someone would suck him!’ said Alan and laughed.

Matt came sauntering through the gates to the school yard, and Alan hailed him. ‘Oi, Matt, did you hear?’

‘What?’ asked Matt.

‘Nick Davis is a big fat queer!’

Matt raised an eyebrow. ‘So?’

‘He came onto Dave and Dave turned him down. Make sure everyone knows, yeah?’

‘Why would I do that?’ asked Matt. ‘I’ll leave this one to you guys.’

‘What? Why?’ asked Alan, incredulously. ‘Didn’t you hear? He’s a confirmed fucking faggot! We need to teach him some manners!’

‘I honestly don’t care,’ said Matt. ‘His sexual orientation is his business. Just sucks for him that he picked Dave. He was setting himself up for disappointment. I could have told him that.’ Dave looked up and found Matt’s brown eyes boring into him. ‘Telling everyone was a really shitty thing to do, you know,’ Matt told him. ‘Thought you were better than that. Guess I was wrong.’ Then he turned to walk away, leaving Dave to feel lower than he ever had before. He prayed that his morning lessons would go by quickly.

* * *

Nick felt everyone’s eyes on him that day. News apparently traveled fast. More than once, he heard people whisper ‘queer’, ‘gay’, ‘faggot’ as he passed them in the corridors. Linda Langmann made a particularly big deal out of it, telling anyone who would listen about their ‘relationship’. (‘I mean, eurgh, I can’t believe I kissed that guy! How gross!’)

Lunchtime couldn’t come fast enough, and when it did, Nick hurried to the boys’ changing rooms as quickly as his legs would carry him.

The room was empty when he got there. He closed his eyes and sighed, hoping that Dave would get there soon. Then he heard a voice from behind him.

‘So now it’s official, isn’t it, faggot?’

Nick spun round to see Alan standing there. ‘Oh, what the fuck do you want now, Bradford? Did you follow me?’

Alan said nothing. He just stood there, smirking.

‘Yes, it’s all out now,’ Nick continued. ‘My big secret! I’m a big, fat, stinking queer! What are you going to do about it? You come to put a stop to my incessant buggery? Someone already tried that, it didn’t do any good!’

‘Barked up the wrong tree, though, didn’t you?’ Alan said, finally. ‘You thought Straight Boy Dave would be up for it, did you? You must have been so disappointed! How long have you lusted after him, I wonder?’

‘Well, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?’ Nick spat. ‘Must have been torture, following him around for years, knowing he didn’t want you, knowing he’d never want you! That’s what happens to sad little closet cases, though. I feel sorry for you, Alan. You’re pathetic!’

Alan growled and charged forward, pushing Nick up against the wall.

‘Go ahead!’ Nick said through gritted teeth. ‘Hit me!’

‘You think it’s Dave I want?’ Alan whispered. Then he crashed his lips into Nick’s with a grunt, forcing his tongue inside his mouth. Nick stood rooted to the spot as Alan pushed a hand in under the hem of his shirt, his tongue fiercely moving about inside Nick’s mouth, seeking a response.

‘What the fuck?’

Alan let go so quickly it was as though he’d never touched Nick at all, and Nick stood speechless, his tie crooked, shirt rumpled and his lips bright red.

Dave stood in the doorway, staring in disbelief. Alan was wide-eyed and looking anywhere but at his alleged best friend. There was a moment of silence, before Nick found his voice.

‘You think just cause I’m gay I haven’t got standards?’ he said at last, glaring at Alan. ‘What . . . what gives you the right?’

Dave rushed to his side, then, and took his hand. ‘Nick, are you all right?’ he said quietly. ‘Did he hurt you? Did he force you—‘

‘No, I’m okay,’ said Nick. ‘He didn’t hurt me.’

It was Alan’s turn to look on in astonishment now.

‘What—’ he began. Swallowed. Looked away. Tried again. ‘Dave, what’s going on?’

‘Why don’t you tell me?’ Dave growled, putting a protective arm around Nick. ‘What happened to straight, homophobic Alan Bradford? What the hell is he doing snogging my boyfriend?’

‘B–boyfriend?’ Alan exclaimed incredulously.

Nick burst out laughing, and they both stared at him.

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s just . . . You should see your faces right now!’

Dave grinned too, at that.

‘But . . . but you sent that text!’ said Alan. ‘You said—’

‘I didn’t write that text, my dad did,’ said Dave. ‘He caught us. Didn’t want anyone to think he had a queer son.’

Alan looked at both of them in turn, his mouth opening and closing, and then he cast his eyes down in defeat.

Nick felt sorry for him, then. ‘I had it all wrong,’ he said. ‘I thought you liked Dave . . . And all along it was me?’

Alan didn’t answer. He just worked his jaw, his eyes shifting to look at everything but Nick and Dave.

‘I’m sorry,’ Nick tried. ‘But maybe this is a good thing? Now we all know each other’s secrets. We can all be friends.’

Alan looked up sharply. ‘In your pathetic dreams, you fucking faggot!’ And he stormed out.

‘I don’t think you’ve made a friend,’ said Dave, squeezing Nick’s hand.

‘No,’ Nick agreed. ‘Maybe some day.’ He turned to look at his boyfriend, and relief washed over him. He hugged him close. ‘I love you so much,’ he whispered.

‘I love you too,’ Dave answered and kissed his temple. ‘I’m sorry everything’s such a mess… I don’t know what to do.’

‘I guess there’s nothing to do, for now. We’ll just have to live with it.’

‘I feel like such a wanker,’ said Dave. ‘You know, I think Matt is really angry with me, because he thinks I spread all this around. He’s not at all the sort of person I thought he was. He said telling everyone was a shit thing to do. He said it to my face, in front of Alan and Chas. He’s really brave.’ He sighed. ‘You’re really brave, too. And I’m such a fucking coward.’

‘You’re not!’ said Nick firmly, and they broke apart. ‘You punched your dad in the face!’

‘But I can’t stand up to him now,’ Dave argued. ‘And after I promised you I’d make you happy—’

Nick put a finger to his lips to silence him. ‘We’ll figure something out,’ he said. ‘Let’s just be together now, okay?’ Then he kissed him. Dave kissed him back, like it was the last time, or the first. He crowded Nick against the wall.

Nick put one arm around his waist, pulling his hips closer. The other went around Dave’s neck, his hand disappearing up into his hair. Dave kissed Nick’s neck and snaked a hand in under his shirt to caress the skin of his torso.

‘God, you’re beautiful,’ Nick breathed. ‘You’re a fucking dream!’

Dave began to fiddle with Nick’s belt and the fly of his trousers. They got each other off quicker than either of them would have liked, but it felt good, and every moment they had together now was precious. Afterwards, they spent a good while sitting on the floor, just kissing. It only then occurred to Nick to worry about the fact that they were in the changing rooms at school, but the room was still dark and empty, and quiet, but for the steady breathing of the two boys.

‘We’ll be together whenever we can,’ said Nick, stroking Dave’s hair. ‘Whenever we can.’

Lyrics from 36 Degrees are © Placebo.
EDIT: If you're rereading this again, you may notice that the hand-job, blow-job scene at the end has been severely shortened and made almost completely non-graphic. You may have noticed similarly in the previous chapter in the room at the B&B. This is because this was always meant to be a young adult novel, and as such I'm trying to make it publishable for its target audience. So... Sorry, I guess.