Standing In Shadows - 26. Chapter 26

SIS 26

When I arrived back at Jenny’s house I sat in the car for a few minutes trying to calm myself. I knew it was foolish to let what Clinton said affect Jenny too. She had been nice to me, but she also had felt sorry for me too. She made that clear when she criticized Mom for quitting and taking over the store. Cussing Trouble under my breath I finally stepped out of the car and walked up to the front door and knocked. I hoped she wasn’t home, her car wasn’t out front, but it could have been in the garage. When the door opened and she stepped out onto the porch she looked surprised to see me.

“Back so soon?” She asked, offering me a small smile. “I didn’t expect you, you seemed upset about something.”

“It’s ok,” I said rocking back and forth on the heels of my shoes. “I forgot Trouble.”

“Oh,” Jenny said, “I guess I did too. I’ll go get her.”

“Thank you for watching her,” I said and she smiled and nodded her head before she turned and walked back inside. When she returned with Trouble walking on her leash and her bag of food I smiled when the little dog saw me and ran for my feet. Her being happy to see me made me feel bad that I had forgotten all about her earlier, but she didn’t seem to hold it against me. When I knelt down she raised herself up on my bent knee and started licking my fingers.

“She loves you,” Jenny said, kneeling down as well, she scratched between Trouble’s ears. When I looked up at Jenny she was looking at me with the same careful smile on her face from when she had opened the door.

“I’m sorry for how I acted this morning,” I said and her smile got tighter.

“I just hate seeing you upset,” she said and she stood and walked over to the wooden benches on her front porch. They were stained and polished, but they looked hand made. I stood and walked over and sat down beside her scooping up Trouble when she started whining at my feet. I looked down at her as she started to chew on the edge of my cast. I wiggled my fingers and she started trying to catch them in her mouth.

“I’ll get over it,” I countered and I heard her sigh.

“Boys,” she said and I saw her roll her eyes. “Can’t talk about their feelings.”

“I better go,” I said and she sighed, grabbing my hand when I began to stand.

“I hope you get over whatever Cj said before…” she started, but closed her mouth.

“It wasn’t what Cj said,” I countered glancing over at Clinton’s house. I could see that his truck wasn’t where he had parked it the night before. The small white picket fence never was meant for privacy, just a decorative property line. Jenny’s mom Glenda had planted climbing roses on some of the posts. The storm had knocked a lot of the petals off them and they were scattering with the breeze.

“Well then let Clinton apologize, but don’t hold anything against me,” Jenny said and I glanced down at her.

“I won’t, I promise,” I said offering her a smile.

“See you later,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. Then she stood and surprised me when she wrapped me into a hug. When she broke the hug she smiled and then gave Trouble a gentle pat before she walked back inside closing the door behind her.

After another glance towards Clinton’s house I stepped down the wooden steps and walked back to the car with Trouble squirming in my arms. When I slid in and put her in the passenger seat and her food on the floor just out of her reach I looked down at her.

“Where to girl?” I asked, reaching over to buckle my seatbelt. Hearing my voice she tilted her head and barked then tried to climb over the arm rest. The sun had just started coming out from behind cloud cover left over by the storm and it wasn’t so humid yet. Not wanting to go home, since it would likely just be Dad and I there I backed out of the driveway and headed towards the rundown park next to the river.

When I got there I let Trouble off her leash and put her on the ground. The grass had seemed to come back to life. A lot of it had been burned by the sun and was the yellow color of hay, but a few more storms like last night it would start growing again. Looking around I saw a lot of tracks in it from the party that was broken up. There were a lot of red and blue plastic cups scattered in the field as well.

After grabbing her bag of food I closed the door. It was a slow awkward dance with her attacking my shoes as we headed towards the large shade trees next to the river. When we finally got there I sat down under one and poured a small pile of her food out on the ground. When she sniffed it and started eating I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes.

Then when Trouble gave a few excited barks, I jumped and opened my eyes to see Greg parking the jeep beside my car. My heart felt like it flipped inside my chest. I watched Trouble bound over the tall grass to greet him, he seemed to be hovering beside his Jeep, but then he too danced around Trouble as he made his way towards the shade tree. I hadn’t had time to think about what Greg being back in town meant or what he wanted to tell me. I didn’t lie to him when I told him I didn’t want to talk, that I had plans. Part of me wondered if I’d ever try to make good on the promise though, I had thought I’d never see him again. Although his grandmother still lived here, Amy wasn’t from here and he had been so eager to leave this town himself.

“I saw your car parked in the field, I was going up to the church to play some ball,” he said and I glanced out across the fields. I could just make out the church on the hill.

“I should have done a better job hiding out,” I said, not turning to meet his eyes. When I heard him sit down on the ground beside me I fought the urge to stand and bolt. “I kind of came here to think.”

“Oh,” he said and I glanced over at him hoping he had lost his nerve and was about to stand and leave. I couldn’t help looking at his lips and his dark eyes and remember the way he smiled and the way he had looked at me.

“Don’t count on that church being there too much longer,” I said, noticing how angry I sounded, “I doubt Mayor Evans is done buying up property.”

“My Grandmother was cussing him over that,” he said, offering me a careful smile. “Says he’s going to mess up the peace and quiet.”

“Yeah,” I said watching Trouble chase a grasshopper. She would crawl on her stomach until she got too excited and dart forward. When the grasshopper flew to a new spot in the field she ran to catch up and start stalking it again.

“When did you get the puppy?” Greg asked and I looked over at him.

“Jenny found them,” I answered, “someone dropped them off on the side of the road.”

“Shitty,” he said and I watched him pluck a blade of grass and start twirling it around his fingers.

“Did you tell Amy that you were gay?” I asked and he smirked then frowned looking down at the ground he plucked another blade of grass.

“No, but I guess I wasn’t attentive enough after I left,” Greg answered, still looking at the ground. “She dumped me.”

“So you were still going to go through with it and marry her this fall,” I said and I remembered seeing her for the first time. It was difficult to feel sorry for her, because I had been hurt and admittedly a little jealous. Later I like to think that I would have, but I had forced myself not to think about Greg.

“I don’t know,” he answered looking up at me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you about this,” I hissed feeling like I was just punched in the stomach.

“You brought it up,” he said and I glared at him.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I repeated, closing my eyes I leaned back against the tree. “Not right now, I’ve not had a good day.”

“What happened?” He asked and I sighed and we sat in silence. I opened my eyes and scanned the field for Trouble. She was making her way slowly back towards us under the shade tree, her mouth open and panting. The air had started to get hot, but it wouldn’t last now that it was getting later in the day.

“I found out what people think when they see me,” I said shrugging my shoulders. “I probably should have already caught on, but I guess I’m not good at reading people.”

“What do they think?” He asked and I felt a tightness in my throat. My eyes stung as I tried to fight off my anger.

“We lost our house, we’re living in a junky apartment, I’ve broken my arm,” I said looking down at my cast. “It’s stupid, forget it.”

“It’s not stupid if it has you this worked up,” he countered and reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and scooted away from him.

“At least I now know,” I said, “that I’m nothing to them, not anymore.”

“Was it those idiots that threw you into the river?” Greg asked and when I nodded my head he sighed smiling. “They don’t matter.”

“Of course they matter,” I countered, wiping my eyes with my shirt. “I’ve been…”

“You’re dating one of them?” Greg asked when I fell silent then I saw the surprise on his face.

“Not anymore,” I answered as Trouble came and curled up beside me still panting.

“Let’s go somewhere,” Greg said and I looked over at him. He was smiling, but his eyes were careful.

“No,” I countered, “I probably need to at least talk to him.”

“Do you want to talk to him?” Greg asked, his smile faltering a little.

“No, he probably said all I needed to hear,” I answered, “but I want to see him.”

“Then go see him,” Greg said as he moved into a kneeling position.

“I can’t,” I said frowning, “that’s why I’m sitting here.”

“Then come with me,” he said, “go talk to him tomorrow after you’ve calmed down, but give me the rest of the day.”

“He said I was nothing,” I said, shuddering. I looked down at my lap. I felt the walls I had started to build between me and everyone else crumbling. I knew I shouldn’t be talking to Greg, I didn’t trust him.

“Come here,” Greg whispered and he sat down beside me holding out his arms. I hesitated glancing up at him. I saw the Greg that took me dancing and to the lake. He didn’t laugh or stay still and silent as I climbed out of the river. He had followed me and took me home. Out of everyone that I could talk to about this, I had to admit that he was the only one left that I would.

“I don’t trust you,” I said, but leaned into his arms and he wrapped them around me. I could smell his shampoo and cologne and it surprised me that I remembered it.

“I don’t blame you for it,” he said, rubbing my back. I reached up and wrapped my arms around him and I felt him relax against me.

Greg didn’t stop holding me until I got hold of myself. I let out a sigh, my face flushing, because I had cried. It wasn’t something I had ever been allowed to do. Definitely not in front of Dad, I would get a lecture about being a man and that real men never cried. In front of Mom it was different, but just as bad. She would soothe me and tell me not to cry, but then begin crying herself. So I had never really cried much, not until this summer it seemed. I never thought I would miss the easiness of a structured planned out life. Waking up every morning and not having anything to do had been so appealing for so long.

I also felt guilty that it was Greg holding me. It felt wrong after everything that happened while he was away. When I pulled away from him he looked over at me and smiled.

“I’m going home I think my ass is wet,” I said, causing him to laugh as I carefully picked Trouble up. She had fallen asleep beside me and groaned yawning when I settled her down across my cast. The ground had been damp. Now that my shorts were soaked through it was starting to bother me. I needed to get away from Greg as well. If that meant spending the rest of the day at the apartment with Dad I would have to endure it.

“Meet me in about an hour then?” Greg asked and when I glared at him he held up his hand. “Come on.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea,” I answered as he stood stretching.

“Where is he that you can’t talk to him?” Greg asked, studying me.

“With Cj,” I answered and he seemed to be trying to remember something. I hadn’t told him which one I was dating, but now I guess I had.

“I still can’t believe you’re with that asshole’s friend,” Greg said, “he’s the one that pushed you into the river and broke your arm.”

“I believe they both did it, but yeah,” I countered, bending over I picked up Trouble’s bag of food. It was getting lighter so I knew I’d have to buy her a new bag of puppy food in a day or so. Knowing I didn’t have the money for her upkeep made me frown. Dad had been right about that, but I was too stubborn to really see it.

“Well I didn’t want to call the other one an asshole, but if you are,” Greg said smirking and I shot him a glare.

“He’s not really, I don’t think,” I said sighing. “I didn’t even want him to defend me, it would have made Cj suspect something, but…”

“He didn’t have to insult you either,” Greg added nodding his head. “You’ll probably talk to him tomorrow, but come have some fun.”

“Where?” I asked, looking at him. He didn’t seem like he was going to back down.

“I’ll find somewhere,” Greg answered shrugging. “Just go home and change and I’ll be around to pick you up.”

“Ok,” I said and I offered him a smile when he seemed to relax. Then he smiled and looked towards his Jeep.

“I’ll see you then,” he said, turning back to me, “right?”

“Yes,” I said, smiling wider and shaking my head, “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Ok,” he said and his dark brown eyes seemed to be searching for any sign of a lie. Then he smiled and turned walking back to his Jeep. He didn’t look back, but once inside he gave me a quick wave before he started the engine and backed out of the field.

After driving back home I was relieved to see Dad had left. He didn’t leave a note telling me where he had gone. It was probably football camp related. I was also relieved I wouldn’t be his bitch during that. He would have made my life hell since I couldn’t really participate in any of the drills and workouts. He would have me during the season though, I doubted Mom could win that battle.

Not knowing what Greg had planned and remembering how spontaneous he was had me looking through my closet a lot longer than I typically did for clothes. Trouble had walked over to her bed as soon as I put her down in my room and went to sleep. Finally knowing I didn’t have much time I picked out a pair of jeans and light blue t-shirt. It was from an all star camp I was invited to after the season last year. It only lasted a week, but it had been the longest I had been away from home.

When someone knocked on the front door I sighed and looked over at Trouble. I didn’t want to shut her up in my bedroom. I wished Mom was home so I knew she would at least be spared Dad’s wrath if she had made any messes. I didn’t have a choice though, I doubted anywhere Greg would take me would allow dogs. Then my stomach turned when I thought that it might not even be Greg at the door. Just because I expected him didn’t mean it was. The thought of Clinton standing at my door caused me to turn and leave my room and stop worrying. If Trouble got up to any meanness, it would be my ass anyway.

Opening the door and seeing Greg smiling I forced a smile and stepped out onto the narrow metal landing. It was rusted in some spots and groaned every time someone walked on it. If I wasn’t half scared of the unsafe looking stairs I would have been embarrassed at having Greg here. He was the first one apart from us to have been this far up.

“Ready to go?” He asked, looking me over.

“Yeah,” I said, “I can change though, if we’re going somewhere…”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, then I looked him over and he was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans as well. He let me step around him and down the stairs first. He had parked the Jeep in the apartments’ small lot and when we were both inside he backed out into the street and headed through town.

“Where are we going?” I asked and he glanced over at me and smiled.

“Surprise,” he answered and I leaned back into the seat not wanting to argue with him. He wouldn’t have told me no matter what I said anyway. “You’ve probably already done it anyway.”

“You forget that all I have ever done is work and play football,” I countered smiling when I heard him laugh.

“Well maybe not then,” he said and when I started feeling guilty about being around Greg I leaned forward and turned on the radio. When I turned it up loud enough to drown out the wind and any conversation he shot me a look but didn’t say anything. Then I started feeling bad about ignoring him after agreeing to come out with him I sighed and turned the radio off.

“Sorry,” I said, “I just never thought I’d see you here anymore.”

“This is my hometown, I mean Mom lives right across the street from the elementary school” he said, glancing at me. “Do you even remember me in high school?”

“No,” I said knowing he would have been in the same building as I was for two years being a junior when I started my freshman year.

“I guess I sort of knew who you were,” Greg said, “you started getting some playing time my senior year.”

“A little,” I said, swallowing. “Is this where you tell me you’ve had a crush on me since then?”

“Don’t get too cocky,” he said, “no, I was still pretty sure I liked girls then.”

“How about now?” I asked before I could stop myself. “I mean what do you like now?”

“I don’t know,” he answered not looking at me.

“So you’re what, bisexual?” I asked and I heard him sigh.

“I don’t think I am,” Greg answered, then he got into the turning lane headed towards the largest city within an hour’s drive, where Clinton, Jenny, and I ate dinner. I doubted we were headed to dinner though, we weren’t really dressed for it and I was too nervous to feel hungry.

“Why can’t you say it?” I asked as he turned and got back up to speed on the straighter roads. I could already see the city coming into view.

“Can you?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m gay,” I answered shrugging, “Jenny called me on it and I couldn’t deny it then.”

“You could have,” he said, “you’re not the first person to skip out on sex after prom.”

“Right,” I said, feeling my face flush. I didn’t like remembering that night. “Say it.”

“It would be the first time,” he said, stopping at a stop light just outside the city limits. I looked at the painted sign that welcomed us. It had a park scene with a lake during sunset. Our town sign was just a small green sign with the name of it, like a street sign.

“The first time you said it aloud?” I asked when the light turned green and he took off again.

“The first time for myself, period,” he answered and I studied him.

“But it can’t have been a surprise,” I said and was surprised when he laughed.

“Not a surprise, no,” he said, “I just thought that as long as I never did I’d not have to change.”

“Have I changed?” I asked, but then I wondered just how well he knew me. In a way I had changed, because I had been able to step out and try to. It had come easily enough, maybe too easily because I felt myself struggling to keep up.

“Not sure,” he answered, “you seem very easy going, have you always been?”

“Probably,” I said shrugging, “maybe shy too.”

“Yes, shy,” he agreed, then he looked at me. “Have I changed?”

“I don’t know you,” I said and he nodded and started to look around.

“I forget the street it’s on,” he said, but then he seemed to remember and quickly pulled into a turn lane. I heard someone honk their horn and I turned around to see a guy in a green mustang holding his arm out of the window flipping us off.

“I would ask where we’re going, but I’m not too familiar with this place,” I said looking around to see if I noticed anything. Other than the fast food chains, a few Mexican restaurants, a Wal-Mart, and a few steak houses, there wasn’t much here either. When the light changed and he turned I saw the small sign slightly obscured by a large gas station price tower. I looked at him wondering if he was getting gas. Then he parked the car and smiled.

“Ready?” He asked unbuckling himself and opening the door.

“Ice skating lessons?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“There’s always a fun skating rink open,” he said trying not to laugh, “we’re not taking lessons.”

“If I break my other arm it will kill my dad,” I said as I unbuckled myself and stepped out of the Jeep.

“So you’ve never been?” He asked, “Not even roller skating?”

“I think maybe when I was six,” I said shrugging as we walked to the front door. He held it open and I stepped in instantly feeling the chill of the place. There were quite a few people here, the place had an arcade and fun zone for people that didn’t want to ice skate and for children too young. Then just outside the rink was a station that had all the skates stored. I followed Greg to the person working at the counter.

“Tell them a half size smaller than your shoe size,” he said, getting in line behind me. There wasn’t much of a line, a few kids with parents. When it was my turn a short older woman smiled at me.

“Taking lessons or fun skating?” She asked her hand resting on the cash register.

“Fun,” I answered and she punched it in then looked back at me.

“What size do you need?” She asked if her voice had a slight accent that I couldn’t place.

“Ten and a half,” I answered and she turned and walked down the rows of skates then she bent down and grabbed two and returned to the cash register.

“Fifteen even honey,” she said and pushed in the total. I was about to grab for my wallet, but Greg shouldered past me and handed her the money.

“No,” I said, causing her to hesitate before putting it into the register. “I got it.”

“It’s no big deal,” Greg said and the woman shrugged and put the money in and I sighed and stepped out of line. Walking around I found an empty bench. There were unclaimed shoes lying all over the place. I already had my shoes off and was looking over the skates when Greg sat down beside me.

“I want to pay for my own shit,” I said as I bent down and slid my right foot inside. It was snug already, but I laced up the shoe strings tight as well, like I did my football cleats.

“Sorry,” he said, turning to smile at me. “I just thought I was cheering you up.”

“People think I’m a charity case,” I countered trying to keep the anger from my voice. “I’m starting to believe it since everyone likes to pay for me.”

“Or they do it because you’re their friend and they want to cheer you up,” Greg countered as I tied my other skate, but then I had to redo it because it wasn’t as tight as the first one. By the time I was done Greg had his on and was standing. I was surprised how easy it was to stand up on them and wondered if the thick rubber blade guards had anything to do with it. I knew not to be too comfortable. Nothing like this could be too easy.

“I don’t need cheering up,” I said and he looked at me.

“Just relax,” he said and he turned towards the skating rink. Along the wall there was someone standing there and when we arrived they opened a small door and let us step inside to a small sitting area with a long wooden bench. After watching Greg reach down and slide off his blade guards I did the same then he let me walk ahead of him to the ice.

It was significantly colder down here in the oval shaped rink. There were people in the middle that seemed to know how to skate pretty well, some even going backwards. Then there were some people, mostly kids holding on to the wall as they made their way around. Everyone was smiling though, their cheeks flushed from the cold. The ice was scarred up from the skaters, but still had a glossy shine to it where the lights reflected off it.

“Go ahead,” Greg said when I hesitated at the edge where the concrete met the ice. I reached over with my left hand and found the wall before I stepped out onto it, the blades gliding smoothly against the surface. I looked back to see Greg step out on it without any assistance from the wall.

“This is embarrassing,” I groaned when I saw a little girl probably just out of preschool gliding by smiling over at her father who was hugging the wall after he told her to slow down.

“Come on out here,” Greg said and I turned to see him a few feet out and he waved both hands towards me. “And remember you’ve only got one good arm to catch you, I would try to fall as gently as possible.”

“Dumbass,” I muttered rolling my eyes then I sighed and pushed myself away from the wall. When I glided past where he was standing, not daring to move my legs I looked back to see him turning around.

“Just push yourself forward, pretty much like walking,” he said, but as soon as I tried lifting one foot the other one slid out from under me. I closed my eyes expecting my head to bounce off the ice, instead I felt Greg try to catch me and after a second of not falling I heard his skates fly out from under him and we both fell backwards, him onto the ice and me into his lap. His legs were splayed out wide around me and I heard him suck in a few shallow breaths.

“Sorry,” I said as I tried to roll off of him.

“You crushed my balls,” he said and I busted out laughing.

“Well you’re going to have to get over it, because I can’t get up,” I said as I finally got into a sitting position and looked down at him. He was staring up at the ceiling then he looked at me and smiled. When he finally did start moving again I looked out across the rink and saw more than a few people laughing at us, but as I caught their eyes they at least turned around or tried not to look. After helping me up and making sure I was steady on my feet he bent over and took a few more deep breaths before standing back up to look at me.

“Not exactly like walking,” he said, “you push yourself forward on one leg and find your balance on it before you sweep your other leg forward.”

“It looks easier than it is,” I countered and he smirked, both of us shivering from the cold and not moving around made it worse.

“Like this,” he said and I watched him push off with his right foot, balancing on his left. Then as he glided he swept his right foot forward, shifting his weight to his right foot. He made a small circle then came to a stop beside me. “Ready?”

“Yes,” I answered and this time I did what he did. I expected to fall, but when I didn’t I looked over to see him skating beside me. He had his arm out ready to catch me.

“To turn you just turn your foot slightly in the direction you want to turn, not completely or you’ll fall,” he said and I nodded seeing that we were running out of skating room before we would have to turn I watched him and when he put his foot down it was turned to the left slightly. He had to take a few shorter strides to complete the turn and when he did he stopped and looked back at me.

As I approached the wall I turned my skate slightly to the left and leaned my weight into it. He had started back towards me and when the toe of my skate hit the ice and I lurched forward I reached out and he caught my hand and pulled me towards him. This time he was able to steady me without falling. He kept hold of my hand though and I looked around. Thinking that for someone that can’t even admit to himself that he was gay didn’t seem to care what this looked like. When I went to pull my hand away he held onto it.

“What are you doing?” I asked, trying again.

“It will be easier if I keep you balanced until you get used to it,” he answered, but I pulled my hand free and landed on my ass. When I glared up at him he laughed and offered his hand to me. Not wanting to crawl over to the wall I held up my hand and he pulled me back up.

“I’ll practice on the wall,” I said, gliding towards the wall. Not knowing how to stop I let myself crash into it reaching out with my left hand to keep myself from falling. Turning so that I could use that hand to hold onto the wall I started moving forward with Greg keeping pace beside me.

“You don’t really have to use the wall, you know how to go forward,” Greg said, rolling his eyes. “You’re not even trying to have fun.”

“Yes I am,” I said, “it’s just difficult to have fun doing something you’re not good at.”

“Is it?” He asked, “I thought trying new things could be just as fun.”

“It is until you know you can’t,” I answered frowning.

“Or are you not allowing yourself to have fun,” he said and I glanced at him.

“How am I not?” I asked, studying him as we slowly made our way around the wall. People were gliding by keeping about a three or so foot space between the wall and them. When we caught up to someone else that couldn’t skate I pushed off and skated beside Greg until we got close to the other side of the rink and I glided back towards the wall and stayed close to it as I slowly made my way around the curve until we got back to the straight stretch.

“You feel guilty doing this with me,” he said, skating closer to me so we could hear over all the noise. Everything seemed amplified into a roar; the loudest screams would echo through the rink.

“I don’t,” I lied and when I looked at him I knew he didn’t believe me.

“What’s he doing now?” He asked, “I know you said he was with Cj.”

“He’s probably fishing, I don’t know,” I said, coming to a stop just before the end of the curve.

“So try to have fun, please,” Greg said, “you’re not punishing him any if you’re not.”

“Does he deserve it?” I asked, leaning against the wall.

“I’d say he does, but you’d not believe me,” he answered smirking as he leaned on the wall just in front of me. “If you don’t think so, then you’ve already forgiven him.”

“I haven’t forgiven him,” I said, looking around to see if anyone was close to us. “It’s complicated.”

“You’re just too nice,” he said, “I’m here trying to convince you to dump him and you’re not even considering it.”

“Is that what this is?” I asked, feeling my face flush despite the cold.

“Yes, come on, you already know what this is” he answered, “I came back here hoping you would forgive me, I never expected you to find someone else.”

“Why tell me?” I asked and he looked down at his hands resting a few inches from mine on the wall. The closeness caused me to take a step back.

“I figured my best chance is to have you come to me,” he said then smirked looking around, “after all this fun we’re having.”

“So you’re hoping I don’t talk to him and come crawling to you?” I asked, shaking my head looking down at the bulky black skates.

“No,” he answered, “I’m hoping he turns out to be a complete ass and you see that I’m a nice guy and not the one that ran off on you.”

“What if it’s too late?” I asked and he smiled.

“This isn’t a fairytale, it’s never too late,” he answered, then pushed himself off the wall and turned around and held out his hand. I hesitated looking around searching for familiar faces. No one here would know us. This is the last place people from town would come on a weekday during the summer. Even with knowing that, I knew what all this meant for him. If I took his hand it would mean I was giving him a chance and I didn’t think I was willing.

“Take me home,” I said and he nodded letting his hand fall to his side. He waited for me to turn around and we skated a straight line towards the rink’s exit. After returning the skates to the front desk I followed Greg outside. I couldn’t help notice that his shoulders were tense and when I tried to catch his eye he would hold it for a moment then completely ignore me. The warmth and the setting sun wasn’t as inviting as I thought it would be after being in the cold dimly lit skating rink.

During the ride home Greg turned the radio on and kept his face forward. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him, but I was also relieved that we were going home. When we were back in town and he pulled into the public parking area he let out a sigh putting the Jeep in park, but he didn’t kill the engine.

“I hope he’s worth it,” Greg said, but he didn’t sound bitter. I looked over at him and he was still looking forward and the street lights and the high chain link fence that separated the public parking from the private parking from the businesses next door.

“Sorry,” I said and he smirked and looked at me.

“Don’t be,” he countered, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I said and I stepped out and away from the jeep. I watched him back out of the parking spot and down the road until he disappeared around a curve. Sighing I walked over to my car and got in knowing I had to find out if Clinton was worth it myself. Everything within me hoped that he was.