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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Alliance - 11. Chapter 11

Alexandre sighed contentedly, waking up nestled in the muscular arms of his training partner that was now also his personal assistant. It had been almost two weeks since Alexandre had first shown the man to his bedchambers, but now the two were almost inseparable, sleeping together each night and training or seeing to estate affairs during the day. Because Alex knew that it would look suspicious if a slave was seen with him all the time – and he also needed an excuse to get Carlin past the guards for the central manse each day – he had raised Carlin’s status to being a personal assistant. Most noblemen and ladies in Nabian society had one, and Alex had yet to choose his own. It was a good excuse, given that it meant Carlin was permitted to be wherever Alexandre was, and was moved into a bedchamber adjacent to his. Carlin’s room had a private entrance to Alexandre’s – normally used for nightly duties of an assistant, like retrieving paperwork or providing immediate council without having to exit into the main hall – that also allowed the two to share the nights. Carlin had now joined the ranks of Madame Ysabel’s Rodrick and General Darion’s Jamison Hadeaux, and his elevated status gave him the privilege to do almost whatever he wanted. Just as Hadeaux served as both the master-at-arms and the general’s assistant, Carlin would serve as Alexandre’s training partner and assistant.

Alexandre loved the way he felt when he was around Carlin, though he struggled to show it. He was also apprehensive when it came to potentially having sex in the future, considering he had never done the act before and Carlin was just as inexperienced with males. Alex found the idea of submitting himself to the larger man to be slightly appalling, only for the reason that it would be like admitting that Carlin had some kind of dominance over him. Because he knew Carlin did have dominance over his own mood and happiness, he didn’t think giving him control over anything else was ideal. Thus, giving Carlin the position of personal assistant served to keep Carlin around and in check. Carlin still worked for Alex, and this let him feel like he was still somewhat in a position of power.

Waking all at once, Alex gazed over to his ex-slave, and took in every detail of him. His muscled chest rose and fell softly and slowly, and the light from the window was just beginning to creep up his face. It illuminated his brown hair, making the edges of every strand look golden on one side of the face. Alex thought he looked good this way, and didn’t ever like to wake the man up. He watched for a few minutes, until a fluttering of eyelids led to Carlin’s face becoming animated. Two deep blue eyes took in the sight of Alexandre in his bed, and a lazy, pearly-white grin made Alexandre feel weak all over. I don’t like feeling weak, Alex thought. But this feels so good.

“Good morning, Alexandre Di Coteau.”

“Good morning Carlin.” Both were grinning, and Carlin propped himself up on a few of the pillows that were everywhere on Alexandre’s enormous black four-poster. Like always, he began instantly, and talked with excited hopefulness and with speed.

“What do you have planned for today, oh high and mighty master?” Alex rolled his eyes at the jape, and gave the man a slight nudge as he sat up to listen. “I thought we might go riding, or perhaps work on that rollover you were trying with the hook swords yesterday. Or, we could go to this bar that Mikhail has been telling me about. There are axe-throwing contests for free drinks, and I’m sure that one of us could win. I’d like to see you beat me there.” Carlin playfully nudged him back, and Alex gave a small smile.

“And since when have you been in charge of what we do? You might be a free man now, but you’re still under my control.” Looking at the tall Tomacian’s face, he reflected on how Carlin had never ceased to surprise him. Where as Alex was always precise and sure, Carlin was reckless and fearless. Alex had always ensured that he expended the exact amount of energy needed to complete a task, and did things with pointed deliberateness. Carlin, on the other hand, seemed eager to try everything he heard about and only asked questions after the fact. Alexandre had taken him to his favorite bloodlilly field just the other day, and Carlin had almost jumped off a small cliff into the pond below. While he would certainly have survived the fall, Alexandre nearly had to tackle him to make him understand that water deposits in bloodlilly fields were highly toxic. They could burn the skin and lead to an agonizing death, and were often so acidic that they melted straight through the rock and created deep holes in the ground, which looked just like centuries-old cliffs. He looked into the face of his adventurous counterpart, and sighed before he spoke. He never liked shutting Carlin down, but sometimes it simply couldn’t be avoided. “Unfortunately, we do have plans for the day. Talia’s graduation ceremony is today, remember? We will need to show strength and presence.”

Alex was not keen on attending the ceremony, and knew that Talia would not be offended if he had missed it given that she saw it as absolutely useless as well. He couldn’t, however, because of how much the ceremony meant to Nabian society. Each year, all the officials and dignitaries in each region of Nabius gathered to see their local academy’s graduating class. In the case of the Mullansburg academy’s graduation ceremony, the presiding official would be Darion Di Coteau. Everyone would be dressed in their finest armor and displaying every medal or honor they had ever won. Alex knew that officials would be flanked by their own assistants and whomever else they had chosen to show their strength. Because Alexandre was technically a part of Nabian society and certainly had some credit to his name, he would be expected to show and be surrounded by men or women of his own choosing. He also would need to look strong and dangerous, so that everyone would know he was not to be trifled with.

Appearing powerful also often attracted graduates, some of which would need officials to serve after the ceremony. Though Alex truthfully did not feel he needed anyone else to command around, he did recognize that he would eventually be expected to find a place in Nabian society and set out with his own crew of subservient employees. Though judging from the hook swords and the general’s recent attitude… Alex wondered General Darion was planning an overthrow to install Alex as another general. He had not been receiving missions, and felt like he was being hidden away to be unleashed as some kind of secret weapon. Perhaps General Nandra, or General Pyconne. Laura Nandra getting old and she and Darion Di Coteau had never gotten along, and Randal Pyconne had openly opposed General Devan Di Coteau a few years back. Either would be targets for Darion and the Di Coteau family.

If Alex were to take over a Nabian region as general sometime in the near future, that would also mean that Di Coteau family members controlled four out of the thirteen regions. Darion, Damien, Devan, and Alexandre would all sit as leaders in the north, and quite a bit of the country would be under their thumbs. It would really be five regions that they influenced, considering that Madame Ysabel’s brother was also a general of the thirteen. General Yago Clairon commanded one of the southernmost western regions that bordered Ironia, and had always had a good relationship with the rest of the Di Coteaus. This would represent immense consolidation of power, and Alex knew that a plan that was at least similar had to be in the works somewhere. Regardless of what was going on between all the officials that would be at graduation ceremonies all across the country, Alexandre would be expected and noted if he missed.

***

Eventually, Alex had chosen the men that he would bring to the ceremony from the estate. Carlin was an obvious choice, given that he was Alexandre’s personal assistant, huge, and could be fiercely intimidating. When Alex put him in elegant Nabian armor that featured black scale plate, maroon inlays, and ebony and ivory highlights, he no longer even looked like a Tomacian. Excluding the blue eyes, Alex didn’t think that anyone would be able to tell where his loyal assistant had come from. That was good, given that he didn’t want any officials or graduates questioning his dedication to Nabius publicly.

When General Darion had summoned Wilhelm to represent him as part of his own group, Alex also realized that it would be okay to have Mikhail come along as well. Showing a blacksmith as part of one’s repertoire – especially one as talented as Wilhelm or Mikhail – wouldn’t hurt anything, and could be presented to insinuate a grasp over the goods and services sectors of society. Alex also put Mikhail in fine clothing, and noted that his height and build lent themselves to making him look intimidating as well. After picking three household guards to finalize his bunch, Alex frowned when he realized that all of his surrounding men would be taller than him. Perhaps I’ll look better when we’re all sitting down. Then the height differences shouldn’t be noticeable.

Suiting up in his finest black armor and a few decorative objects that showed he was one of the conquerors of Ironia with over 100 kills to his name, Alex summoned his men and prepared to head to Mullansburg. He also strapped a cloth sheath that he had commissioned to his back, which had been elaborately made and showed off the elegance of his hook swords. The ride wouldn't be too long, but Alex still hoped he would be back at the estate before sundown. The route they would take would be the same one that he had taken when he was captured and enslaved, and he was never eager to go there again. Though he had killed Mortisse and was more than capable of fighting off large numbers when he was armed, Alex still didn’t like passing by the spot on the road at which he was taken. It represented a moment of failure in his life, though nobody but Carlin knew about it. Some other underling had also probably taken Mortisse’s place and now controlled this area’s underground enslavement business, and Alex realized that he would need to make a few moves to scare the new leader in order to hold true to his promise in the arena. Perhaps I’ll kill the employees that use this spot. At least I can rid this region of them… the capitol will be a long time coming.

He fleetingly thought to Luca and Yonin Meko, and thought about devising a way to free his small blonde friend. Perhaps he could kill Meko himself, or even buy Luca entirely. But buying one prostitute wouldn’t solve the corruption problem he had sworn himself against in front of the crowd, and he tabled that train of thought for another time and place. Looking around, Alex noticed he had already passed the spot of the abduction. Mullansburg wasn’t far, and Alex needed to prepare himself to look good in front of the other officials. With a glance around, he also noticed that he only knew Mikhail and Carlin out of his band of followers. Perhaps I’ll find some graduates to join me as well. These men are loyal, but not to me.

***

Talia stood in place on stage, one of the graduates from this year’s batch of fresh warriors to be integrated into Nabian society. Looking into the crowd at the wealth of counts, magistrates, warriors, commanders, and assassins from the region, Talia resisted the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes. When I am in their positions, I’ll be dead before I wear some of those costumes. Lords and ladies and warriors dressed in their best shades of black and grey and maroon and red, proud citizens of Nabius. Scale plate and mail and iron and tough boiled leather were the commonalities between each person, looking armed and dangerous as well as well dressed. Some of the officials, however, wore their traditional outfits befitting their positions and looked absolutely preposterous. One noble lady that the Di Coteau graduate recognized as Madame Fittering looked like an ugly pink bird, with feathers on her dress and all. Talia scanned the crowd for other faces she recognized, and immediately fixated on her father. He was in his massive heavy armor, and brandished the gargantuan war axe that he had cut down so many with. A sight to behold in black and red, Darion Di Coteau looked every part the general. He was surrounded by a whole host of men and women, of which Talia only knew a few. He would garner lots of attention, rightfully so considering he was the official presiding over this event.

Talia also noticed several counts and business owners that she was sure deserved to die. Perhaps I will take care of them myself. Talia was not keen on letting corrupt, foul officials stay in power, and knew that her brother would support her actions. He, after all, had proclaimed that the underworld leaders of Nabius would be under attack when he had assassinated Evangelo Mortisse. Though Talia had initially been surprised that Alex had taken on such a flashy mission as to execute him while in the guise of a gladiator, she had to admit that it was probably for the best. Talia fully intended to rule over at least some part of Nabius some day, and she didn’t need it to be a land full of low-life criminals and slavers. To the right of her father, she found her brother and his surrounding men. Of course he chose Carlin. Talia had thought Carlin to be a bit brutish and unrefined in his fighting style, but came to see that Alexandre had been training him well in the past few weeks. Alexandre had also seemed very happy around his new personal assistant, which was a good thing. She wasn’t sure Carlin could beat her brother in a fight, and that brought his worth into question, but Talia would give a bit of leniency. Alex hadn’t talked on friendly terms to anyone but her for a few years, and it was a nice change of pace for him. Actually, he truly hadn’t socialized much at all since he had captured the Monciet region of Ironia. And besides, she thought, there probably weren't many people in the world that could get the better of a Di Coteau. Talia noticed a black and silver pin on the top left of her brother’s chest that symbolized his being a conqueror of an Ironian region, and realized that it had come from his first mission. I wonder what father has picked out for me.

Smiling wryly to herself, Talia thought it might be finding a husband. Every man was scared of her, and none wanted to stay after a date or two. But that was a good thing in her opinion.

Once her name was called and her abilities and skills listed and described, Talia felt every eye on her. Amidst a background of the graduation announcer giving her biography and talking about her weapons of choice, she walked up to the council of the Mullansburg academy leaders, and gave respectful nods that were returned. She then accepted a small obsidian dagger, a traditional piece that was presented to each and every graduate. In the spirit of moving on to become an adult that received missions and kill contracts, the dagger was meant to be used in one’s first official kill. After so many years, however, it became nothing more than symbolic. In all honesty, any graduate that hadn’t already made a kill likely wouldn’t been suitable to graduate. Indeed, so many students died in academy training that it was almost impossible to have passed through the schooling without killing. Palming the black blade in her hand as she gave the crowd a dazzling smile, Talia thought that even some of the academy officials looked ridiculous. The master of close combat was wearing a flowing black and red robe and loose pants, which were apparently ceremonial for a hand-to–hand fighter. Talia looked over his unprotected costume and thought what she had thought about the knife, the people in the crowd, and this entire ceremony: useless.

Giving the crowd one last glance over before she walked off the stage into the holding room where she would await those potentially interested in her services and her family, Talia looked up and saw someone she did not expect. Jezebel. What is she doing here?

Talia's older cousin was dressed in a sheer, flowing dress of maroon fabric that was studded every so often with a black sparkle. Her hair was in a ponytail that sat high on her head, and Talia could see the glint of a pin at the front of it. Saint Koba. Talia and Jezebel had received a set of matching pins, each depicting the assassin saints they had chosen for their own when they were girls. Jezebel’s was in the shape of snake, silver with emerald eyes. St. Koba was the Assassin Saint of poisoners, renowned for her many kills using snakes as actual weapons. Talia, on the other hand, had a knife-shaped hairpin made of silver and ruby. Her pin was representative of the Assassin Saint Augusto, who had supposedly been the first Nabian to achieve over one thousand kills. In Talia’s mind, the knife beat the snake, and Jezebel knew it. Talia had always been the better Di Coteau girl fighter, and Jezebel had never liked being inferior. Maybe that’s why she’s hated me so. No matter… whatever she’s here for, it can’t be good.

***

Luca sat comfortably in his bed, eyeing and exploring the knife that he had stolen so many weeks ago. He had come to love everything that it represented for him, and found the way the dragon’s ruby eyes glittered to be both enthralling and scary. I could do it. I could get out of here. Luca fantasized about making his own way and escaping the brothel every day, to lead a life of his own that was less painful and sad. But when he was face to face with Meko… Luca shuddered. Where would I go anyway? Luca had always initially thought back to Alexandre Di Coteau, but quickly realized that the general’s son probably would not be of much help. Luca highly doubted that he could make it to the Di Coteau estate on his own, and when he arrived, he would be seen as too weak to be of any use. The only skills Luca had fostered in Nabius were skills in bed, and Alex had already shown that he wasn’t interested in that. Besides these things, Luca knew that they only way he could reach the Di Coteau manse would be through Madame Ysabel. He wouldn't face the woman in a million years unless he had to, and she was the only person he knew in the city that would for certain know how to reach the manse. But why would she send him on to her family? She would give him one look, and either send him away or push her clawed hands through his face. And that's if she was feeling generous. No, Luca thought, no thank you.

Escaping the capitol, as improbable as it was, would also mean leaving Jack behind. Though the boy had settled in and seemed to have accepted his fate, Luca still felt responsible for Jack and knew it would be wrong to leave the young teen behind. There was maybe a one in one-hundred chance he could get out of the city himself, but with another weak boy at his side… there would be no way.

Almost right on queue, a timid knocking sound and slight creaking meant Jack was coming into the room. Luca was used to the boy’s intrusions, and truthfully didn’t mind them. Realizing that he was still in possession of the knife, though, made Luca panic. Shit! Luca knew that he didn’t have time to return the knife to its hiding place under the floorboards, so he quickly shoved it under his shirt and held it to his hip by tucking the waistband of his pants overtop the blade. He had just finished rearranging he pile of furs and covers on his bed by the time Jack was there, and was crawling up to snuggle into Luca’s chest. For a moment, Luca wondered if he could ever be romantic with the boy. No, he thought. This is a position of consolation, not love. Though Luca had never felt the pangs and affections of romantic interest, he knew enough about men taking comfort in his small, boyish chest to see that Jack was simply upset and in need of a friend.

“It’s alright, Jack. It won’t be you.” Luca had taken small pride in being able to console his younger friend over the past few weeks, especially on the nights that losers were chosen. After Rosalynn, the beatings had gotten worse and Meko seemed to be angrier and angrier. It was almost as if putting a name to “lost” money made him realize that the whores he owned were flawed investments. After all, they were human, and their business relied on attracting other humans. If anything was fickle and uncertain, it was people. Everyone in the house had had high weeks and low weeks, and Luca wondered what the margins were between individual whores. Though he was fairly certain he brought in consistent money, one could never be sure. And if everyone was close in terms of what they brought in, it could mean that a bad week could be the end of any whore in the house. After all, the whore to go last week had been a sprightly young girl with curly brown hair named Maribel. Luca thought that she was very pretty, and couldn’t imagine how she had been the worst performer that week.

“It could be,” Jack said with a sob. Luca looked down at the bleary-eyed lad in his arms, and felt like Meko’s jeweled hand had gripped his heart and squeezed with all its might.

“No, Jack. It won’t be. You’ve been doing very well. The men here like you!”

“I – I know,” Jack sniffled. “But Count Mattison last week, he…” Luca frowned. Count Mattison was prone to beating the boys that he pleasured himself upon, and Luca hated when the man called upon him. Giving pain seemed to please him, Luca didn’t like the idea of Jack having to endure this man’s fists. “He hit me, and I ran… M-Meko was furious, he s-said I was an embarrassment.” Luca’s heart dropped. If Jack had ditched a client that meant that Meko had been gypped of a substantial portion of money. Jack was relatively new, but Luca knew that would be no excuse in the mind of Yonin Meko. Considering the wealth of the Count… Luca knew that Jack actually might be right. A job of that size could not be ditched without Meko’s pockets taking some kind of hit.

“Jack, why did you do that?!” Luca gripped the shaking boy’s shoulders and spun him around.

“I c-couldn’t help it,” Jack said with another sob. “He was hurting me.”

Fuck, FUCK, Luca thought. He squeezed Jack to his chest in a tight hug and closed his eyes. What if it’s Jack? I cannot fail to protect him, I promised that I would… It was then that Luca heard the noise of Jack’s door being opened, and the jingle of one of the coin purses that Meko always had strapped to his waist. No.

Jack had been chosen. By then, Jack had heard that Meko was looking for him and gave a loud sob. Meko heard the sob, and opened Luca’s door after crossing the hall.

“Luca,” the man hissed. “Are you hiding him from me?” Luca was about to retort with rage, all of his protective instincts kicking in. Jack spoke up first, which surprised both Meko and Luca.

“No sir, I came here on my own. Please don’t hurt me or Luca, I promise to do better next week! I have only been here a short while, and am still learning.” Jack’s words only fueled Meko’s fire, and the tall bald man stalked over to the bed. He ripped Jack out of Luca’s arms onto the floor, and slammed a hard fist into the petite boy’s face. The back of Jack’s head hit the floor with a thud, and every hair on the back of Luca’s neck rose.

“Meko!” Luca shouted. “MEKO!” Luca had stood up and was trying to separate the two, but the whoremaster was relentless. He pushed fist after fist into Jack’s head and face and chest, and blood had started to flow freely from Jack’s small body.


“MEKO STOP IT!” Luca was trying to get the man off of his friend, and Jack’s screams were starting to get weaker and weaker. His struggle was futile, given that Yonin had had one hand closed around Jack’s throat the entire time, and Luca could sense that he was going to far. A tooth had of Jack’s was laying on the floor, and Luca could hear bone crunching with each slug.

“MEKO, YOU’RE KILLING HIM!!!!!” Luca screamed, and removed the ebony dagger from his waistband. In one swift motion, Luca had shoved it upwards into the whoremaster’s chest, feeling the thin blade hit bone before sliding in between two ribs. Meko’s grip loosened on Jack, and Jack's body slid limply to the floor.

Luca backed off, shaking out of fear and revulsion. He had never seen Meko’s eyes angrier, but the man had yet to make a rapid dart for him. Only his gold hoop earrings quivered in the completely still room.

After an eternity, Meko dropped down to his knees, and then onto the floor on top of Jack. A scratchy last breath escaped his mouth, and the whoremaster fell into a mixture of Jack’s and his own blood on the floor. The red pool had slowly begun to spread, seeping into the rivulets and cracks of the wooden floorboards beneath.

Jack. Luca pushed the whoremaster off of him, looking into lifeless eyes that were still brimming with tears. They were practically the only thing recognizable about his swollen and bruised face, and Luca felt overwhelming grief and nausea when looking into their cold depths.

No, he thought. No no no!!!! Luca felt his own eyes welling, and heard an agonized sob escape his mouth. “Jack!” he cried, water streaming down his face. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Luca’s face was buried into the tiny boy’s chest, and his body was so violently shaking that he was sure he must be seizing, about to complete the trio and die on the floor there himself. He had failed, and this life was on his hands. Though Meko had bludgeoned the life out of the freckly boy, it was his responsibility and failure. Jack was the closest thing Luca had to family in the past few years, and he found himself reliving old, gruesome memories. Luca vomited at the sight of what he had just done, emotion clouding his eyes and making his stomach lurch.

A few minutes and ragged outcries later, Luca heard a small voice in the back of his head. Someone will have heard. Leave! Luca wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and stood. Grabbing his best fur cloak and stripping the whoremaster’s body of both a purse and his fine leather boots, Luca gathered a spare shirt and pants and prepared to leave. There would be time for mourning later. Jack was already gone, and Luca would be hunted down if he didn’t get out of the capitol quickly. His face was paralyzed in a lifeless expression, much like the companion that he had failed to protect. Luca moved on autopilot, listening only to the voice in his head that urged him onwards. Though he only had one option, Luca knew he must take it to live. The little voice spoke, and Luca noticed it sounded like a mixture of Jack's, his parents, and everyone else he had ever watched die.

Find the Di Coteaus. Survive.

Ah god I hated writing this chapter, I knew it was coming but it made me cringe so hard :,( Let me know what you think!
Copyright © 2016 VVesley; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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That was a rough chapter. Poor Jack. I hope Luca thought to take the dagger. He might need it again on his journey.

The whole basis of this society is interesting. Any militaristic primary society contains within it the seeds of its own destruction unless it evolves. You reach a limitation of conquest eventually due to a number of different factors. At that point, you have to pursue 'enemies' within or resort to internal warfare. Perhaps I see in Alexandre the leader of a new type of society.

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On 01/28/2015 02:13 AM, drpaladin said:
That was a rough chapter. Poor Jack. I hope Luca thought to take the dagger. He might need it again on his journey.

The whole basis of this society is interesting. Any militaristic primary society contains within it the seeds of its own destruction unless it evolves. You reach a limitation of conquest eventually due to a number of different factors. At that point, you have to pursue 'enemies' within or resort to internal warfare. Perhaps I see in Alexandre the leader of a new type of society.

That is very true. Nabius is such a brutal place, but I still imagine the inhabitants and leaders to be intelligent and precise. Though the future of it as a society won't get touched upon in this book, I'll have to see where it goes later. With how I've planned out this story, there will definitely have to be a sequel :)
  • Like 1
On 01/28/2015 02:13 AM, drpaladin said:
That was a rough chapter. Poor Jack. I hope Luca thought to take the dagger. He might need it again on his journey.

The whole basis of this society is interesting. Any militaristic primary society contains within it the seeds of its own destruction unless it evolves. You reach a limitation of conquest eventually due to a number of different factors. At that point, you have to pursue 'enemies' within or resort to internal warfare. Perhaps I see in Alexandre the leader of a new type of society.

That is very true. Nabius is such a brutal place, but I still imagine the inhabitants and leaders to be intelligent and precise. Though the future of it as a society won't get touched upon in this book, I'll have to see where it goes later. With how I've planned out this story, there will definitely have to be a sequel :)

It had to happen eventually. I am glad Luca is free now, I am sure he will somehow make it to safety. I am also curious about potential new characters to support Alex, the last few chapters have been a little low on action even though I like your descriptions of fighting scenes. I hope to see more of that, maybe in conjunction with the introduction of new characters. Let's see how the story moves on from here.

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On 01/28/2015 04:20 AM, Scary said:
It had to happen eventually. I am glad Luca is free now, I am sure he will somehow make it to safety. I am also curious about potential new characters to support Alex, the last few chapters have been a little low on action even though I like your descriptions of fighting scenes. I hope to see more of that, maybe in conjunction with the introduction of new characters. Let's see how the story moves on from here.
Oh don't worry, there is plenty of fighting and bloodshed to come >:)
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On 01/28/2015 04:59 AM, faxity said:
Hmm, Luca's free just as Alex is looking for people he can trust... hopefully they can help eachother out! :D What happened to Jack was horrible, but he never could have survived in Nabius anyway. Luca, at least, seems to have the potential to make it. Interesting chapter, thanks for writing! :)
Yeah! Luca's fate hasn't been determined yet, so I'll have to see what happens! Thanks for the review :)))))
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I hated seeing Jack die. But, shouldn't the kid, who'd endured so much already, thought that the beating he received from that guy would be nothing compared to the one he'd get from Meko just for losing him the money? I agree with Luca that I don't think it was really about how much money was brought in. Afterall, it would make sense to let the kid earn the money he could till the end of the week and then do his damage for the slight and lost money. Getting off for that scott free seemed unlikely.

Someone wrote 'I'm glad Luca is free now' ...I really think he is far from that! He has to find Ysabelle first. I think her respect for a young assassin might just save him...that along with the fact that it might look like that one noble did it ..though I can't see one doing it over a dead 'whore' being believable.

The only thing I felt like was off was that it took so long for Luca to get the knife out. I would have thought that Jack being hurt at all would have caused him to do it. He was daydreaming about doing it for no reason and he'd be thinking of the horrible jobs and beatings and almost strangling and the sounds of those other prostitutes dying would have been echoing in his ears. but, most of all, this boy he'd taken under his wing and who he'd sworn to protect was dying. He should have done it sooner. I know you didn't have a choice since he couldn't have gotten away with a bloody boy, let alone convinced the Demon to help him. I loved how you said that the voice telling him to run sounded like Jack's and the others he'd watched die.

I am thrilled to see Alex coming into his own and taking some joy in his life. He's also giving joy clearly ;) not that way...I mean by giving the guys a chance to go to the graduation and such. I can understand the dilemma he has in that he wants to submit to carlin and sleep with him, but he's been brainwashed all his life you don't put yourself at the mercy of another and you don't submit. I hope he can see past those things and just be with his cute tomacian. I agree he better get his own entourage soon b/c guards that belong to his father could be dangerous! Though any guards would be better than none with that Jezebel around!

Should keep getting interesting

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On 01/28/2015 09:55 AM, Rebelghost85 said:
Let me say that I'm glad that you decided to give Luca a chance and not kill him off right away. Hopefully he has a (surviving) part to play in Alex's future.

 

I'm absolutely addicted to this story. It's hard to write this genre but you have it down. Thanks for writing.

AH thank you, that's a very high compliment! I hope you continue read and enjoy! I'm coming to realize that I am glad Luca stayed as well, and am still working out his role for the future.
  • Like 1
On 01/28/2015 11:34 AM, Cannd said:
I hated seeing Jack die. But, shouldn't the kid, who'd endured so much already, thought that the beating he received from that guy would be nothing compared to the one he'd get from Meko just for losing him the money? I agree with Luca that I don't think it was really about how much money was brought in. Afterall, it would make sense to let the kid earn the money he could till the end of the week and then do his damage for the slight and lost money. Getting off for that scott free seemed unlikely.

Someone wrote 'I'm glad Luca is free now' ...I really think he is far from that! He has to find Ysabelle first. I think her respect for a young assassin might just save him...that along with the fact that it might look like that one noble did it ..though I can't see one doing it over a dead 'whore' being believable.

The only thing I felt like was off was that it took so long for Luca to get the knife out. I would have thought that Jack being hurt at all would have caused him to do it. He was daydreaming about doing it for no reason and he'd be thinking of the horrible jobs and beatings and almost strangling and the sounds of those other prostitutes dying would have been echoing in his ears. but, most of all, this boy he'd taken under his wing and who he'd sworn to protect was dying. He should have done it sooner. I know you didn't have a choice since he couldn't have gotten away with a bloody boy, let alone convinced the Demon to help him. I loved how you said that the voice telling him to run sounded like Jack's and the others he'd watched die.

I am thrilled to see Alex coming into his own and taking some joy in his life. He's also giving joy clearly ;) not that way...I mean by giving the guys a chance to go to the graduation and such. I can understand the dilemma he has in that he wants to submit to carlin and sleep with him, but he's been brainwashed all his life you don't put yourself at the mercy of another and you don't submit. I hope he can see past those things and just be with his cute tomacian. I agree he better get his own entourage soon b/c guards that belong to his father could be dangerous! Though any guards would be better than none with that Jezebel around!

Should keep getting interesting

Oh it will most definitely keep getting interesting. Some of the characters are going to start making big moves soon, and a lot is about to shift. Just stick with it and see! Thanks!!!
  • Like 1
On 01/28/2015 11:34 AM, Cannd said:
I hated seeing Jack die. But, shouldn't the kid, who'd endured so much already, thought that the beating he received from that guy would be nothing compared to the one he'd get from Meko just for losing him the money? I agree with Luca that I don't think it was really about how much money was brought in. Afterall, it would make sense to let the kid earn the money he could till the end of the week and then do his damage for the slight and lost money. Getting off for that scott free seemed unlikely.

Someone wrote 'I'm glad Luca is free now' ...I really think he is far from that! He has to find Ysabelle first. I think her respect for a young assassin might just save him...that along with the fact that it might look like that one noble did it ..though I can't see one doing it over a dead 'whore' being believable.

The only thing I felt like was off was that it took so long for Luca to get the knife out. I would have thought that Jack being hurt at all would have caused him to do it. He was daydreaming about doing it for no reason and he'd be thinking of the horrible jobs and beatings and almost strangling and the sounds of those other prostitutes dying would have been echoing in his ears. but, most of all, this boy he'd taken under his wing and who he'd sworn to protect was dying. He should have done it sooner. I know you didn't have a choice since he couldn't have gotten away with a bloody boy, let alone convinced the Demon to help him. I loved how you said that the voice telling him to run sounded like Jack's and the others he'd watched die.

I am thrilled to see Alex coming into his own and taking some joy in his life. He's also giving joy clearly ;) not that way...I mean by giving the guys a chance to go to the graduation and such. I can understand the dilemma he has in that he wants to submit to carlin and sleep with him, but he's been brainwashed all his life you don't put yourself at the mercy of another and you don't submit. I hope he can see past those things and just be with his cute tomacian. I agree he better get his own entourage soon b/c guards that belong to his father could be dangerous! Though any guards would be better than none with that Jezebel around!

Should keep getting interesting

Oh it will most definitely keep getting interesting. Some of the characters are going to start making big moves soon, and a lot is about to shift. Just stick with it and see! Thanks!!!

It's your story, and I respect that. I still hate you about Jack death. :,( RIP Jack. Also, I love you because it a great story. Lucas and Jack and that brotherly protective relationship is not something I see often in Gay stories. Turning everyone to gay lovers becomes so cliche, a gay boy can protect a weaker straight boy. (NOTE TO AUTHORS OUT THERE) I was hoping they would turn out to become Alex most trusted servants, but this is your story and I was hoping for a different outcome. (I saw it coming but I was in Denial.) Sniff Sniff ... Excuse me while I mourn.

  • Like 1
On 01/28/2015 05:46 PM, Estion said:
It's your story, and I respect that. I still hate you about Jack death. :,( RIP Jack. Also, I love you because it a great story. Lucas and Jack and that brotherly protective relationship is not something I see often in Gay stories. Turning everyone to gay lovers becomes so cliche, a gay boy can protect a weaker straight boy. (NOTE TO AUTHORS OUT THERE) I was hoping they would turn out to become Alex most trusted servants, but this is your story and I was hoping for a different outcome. (I saw it coming but I was in Denial.) Sniff Sniff ... Excuse me while I mourn.
Aw haha sorry it upset you! Sadly there will be a lot in this tale that doesn't turn out well :/
  • Like 1

Awww so sad. I didn't see it coming and was hoping for a happier outcome but there you are. In life as well as fiction people sadly die and some when we least expect it. He may have only played a small side role but Jack will be missed. I think I too am becoming addicted to this story it's just so good. 

On 1/28/2015 at 1:15 PM, VVesley said:

Turning everyone to gay lovers becomes so cliche, a gay boy can protect a weaker straight boy. (NOTE TO AUTHORS OUT THERE)

I really liked this line from a readers' comment.

  • Like 1
  • Love 1
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