Street Words - 5. Chapter 5 Jeff

You have to be made of stone not to shed tears at this one. In a mention in two poems, you made me care about Jeff. Now he has two mourners. You are brilliant at stripping everything down to what is real. Frankly, I am in awe. Happiness and sadness so close together. Thank you for this...Gary

Yep, I am crying after this one Tim just know he now has a third mourner

On 09/18/2015 08:25 AM, Drew Espinosa said:

Yep, I am crying after this one Tim just know he now has a third mourner

Jeezus Drew ... you made me cry. Shit dude. That was hard for me to get over. I didn't know if it was because I left him ... yeah a hard time.

Thanks Drew ... tim

On 09/18/2015 08:09 AM, Headstall said:

You have to be made of stone not to shed tears at this one. In a mention in two poems, you made me care about Jeff. Now he has two mourners. You are brilliant at stripping everything down to what is real. Frankly, I am in awe. Happiness and sadness so close together. Thank you for this...Gary

He had a hard life. I still feel guilty for leaving him but I had to go. I'd have looked after him but he'd never have let me. There will be more about Jeff in a longer piece. Thanks Gary for your time and support.

tim

I think it was an act of love that Jeff sent you away. He could not change but he saw that you could, and it wasn't too late for you. We mourn Jeff, but we thank him too.

On 09/18/2015 09:06 AM, Defiance19 said:

I think it was an act of love that Jeff sent you away. He could not change but he saw that you could, and it wasn't too late for you. We mourn Jeff, but we thank him too.

Thats what I think too. But geez it still hurts.. can see him there, hear him. I feel like I failed him in some way.

Thank you for reading all of these and for you comments and support.

tim

Make that four. I totally agree with Defiance (as I usually do); Jeff sent you away b/c he knew you could survive, but it was already too late for him. Maybe in the end he realized he couldn't survive without you.

I needed my Kleenex for this one.

On 09/18/2015 10:56 AM, Lisa said:

Make that four. I totally agree with Defiance (as I usually do); Jeff sent you away b/c he knew you could survive, but it was already too late for him. Maybe in the end he realized he couldn't survive without you.

 

I needed my Kleenex for this one.

Oh Lisa, I didn't want people crying over these. Truly. Jeff did know, I think it was his last act of love for me. He did love me in his way. That's what upset me...that I'd left him alone and he couldn't deal with being alone so he killed himself. It haunts me still.

Thank you for reading Lisa. I appreciate it very much.

tim

wow. the amount of detachment you bring to witnessing your own life is truly impressive. I'm curious, as I know you wrote these pieces 'real time,' when the stuff was happening, what was the impulse for you to write them? I mean, with me personally, poetry has always been my way to 'deal' with crap so I could forget it, otherwise it'd fester. Just wondering if it was the same or similar for you when you were writing these.

Thanks again Tim for sharing a powerful piece with us.

On 09/19/2015 06:59 AM, AC Benus said:

wow. the amount of detachment you bring to witnessing your own life is truly impressive. I'm curious, as I know you wrote these pieces 'real time,' when the stuff was happening, what was the impulse for you to write them? I mean, with me personally, poetry has always been my way to 'deal' with crap so I could forget it, otherwise it'd fester. Just wondering if it was the same or similar for you when you were writing these.

 

Thanks again Tim for sharing a powerful piece with us.

Jeff was written some time after he committed suicide. The first two when I turned 16 and 17, he threw me out at 15. Things like razor I'm not sure, I was probable 18 or 19.

Thanks for reading AC. I appreciate your time and your thoughts.

tim

He was a piece of work, but I get it. 

M

6 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

He was a piece of work, but I get it. 

M

He was, but he only had the skills he had. I loved him in my own way.

This one made me choke and coming from someone who barely cries it is the best compliment I could give you and your poem (it was just that good)...U have a gift tim...u through your poem can touch people's heart

3 hours ago, Aviana said:

This one made me choke and coming from someone who barely cries it is the best compliment I could give you and your poem (it was just that good)...U have a gift tim...u through your poem can touch people's heart

I'm sorry it upset you, but i understand what you are saying. I love jeff but hate him. He did some horrible things to me, but like i've said in other places.. he did the best he could with the tools he had. His life was much worse than mine. Thanks again Aviana.